Celeb spinoff - Did the marriage with the mistress turned wife last?

[Glib Gurl]

In a thread about Fantasia vs. Alicia Keys in the ET, someone made the following statement:

Yeah...I agree! Alicia was doing her and could care what anyone thought! She KNEW she was being trife and chose not to care. As long as Swizz didn't care, why should she have cared. After all it is her he wanted....yeah whatever! She and gabby attitude pretty much were the same. Mashonda put her on blast and folks blew her off as bitter. Swizz and Alica knew she was telling the truth. They will be another Torry and Dean who too are adulterers and married. They have ALL sorts of issues. That fairytale cloud evaporated withthe quickness. Torry had the nerve to say in an interview, she thinks about Dean cheating on her all the time. Please! Alicia and Swizz deserve to live happily ever after...together with their issues. Clearly...they BOTH have them!

Regarding the bold, I've always been told that a man who will cheat with you will cheat ON you.

In your observation (or experience? ), has this proven to be true? Or have observed situations where the adulterers ended up together happily ever after?

Discuss!

 

[dlewis]

I only know of two happily married couples and they both have some issues .

So no. I know of no happily ever after marriages.

 

[Honey Bee]

In a thread about Fantasia vs. Alicia Keys in the ET, someone made the following statement:



Regarding the bold, I've always been told that a man who will cheat with you will cheat ON you.

In your observation (or experience? ), has this proven to be true? Or have observed situations where the adulterers ended up together happily ever after?

Discuss!

My mother always said, how you get them is how you'll lose them.

I don't know a lot of married people, tbh, but I do know that like attracts like, so I can imagine cheaters get together often and then cheat on each other.

I think it's funny.

 

[locabouthair]

I know one couple like this and they have been together 20+ years.

I dont know what issues they have though.

 

[dlewis]

I know one couple like this and they have been together 20+ years.

I dont know what issues they have though.

I wonder if they're happy? I doubt it.

I long marriage doesn't mean a happy marriage. I had to get those lewis' to see that.

 

[yardyspice]

I know one that lasted 25 years until the man died. I think he realized he made a mistake but it devastated his immediate family because they were friends with his ex's family, they were in church together, etc. I am sure that the fall out made him think twice about getting out of that marriage. His parents stopped talking to him for a while and to this day they ignore the kids of the second marriage.

 

[locabouthair]

I wonder if they're happy? I doubt it.

I long marriage doesn't mean a happy marriage. I had to get those lewis' to see that.

I don't see them that often but I always got the feeling that they are happy with each other. But I could wrong. You never know what goes on behind closed doors.

 

[spelmanlocks]

I know of two such marriages in my family. One couple has been married for 15+ years and the other couple 20+ years until he died. I was pretty surprised the 15 years + marriage survived because the family really treated her like an outcast and let her know they preferred the first wife. And his kids hate her with a passion too.

 

[MizAvalon]

I know of a couple marriages like that. The first marriage was a mistake and the mistress was clearly who the man was meant to be with because they are still together decades later.

Sting and his wife Trudie Styler are a good celeb example of that. It is possible for those things to work out.

 

[YankeeCandle]

Yes, I do.

He was a South Asian (Indian) doctor already married to an Indian woman (trad. marriage, either arranged or set-up with a woman of his same class, similar family background, etc). ETA: they were married like 12-13 years and had 2-3 young teenage kids.

He left the Asian wife for a European-American woman he had been sneaking with. I can't remember where he met her but I know she was NOT a doctor. He married this woman.

He and this second wife have been together for over 25 years now.

(The doc was friends with my parents; they told me the story and I used to see the doc around town).

 

[YankeeCandle]

Also, the doctor died and when he did, the second wife mourned him very heavily. She had a traditional Hindu death ceremony and funeral arrangements held in his honor, and she hasn't remarried (it's been several years, I think). I felt sorry for her when I heard.

 

[anon123]

A couple very close to me, the woman had an affair with another man. She and the other man have been married 20+ years now.

 

[caribeandiva]

wow.. I'm surprised to see so many of them last based on this thread. I wouldn't wanna test that theory as a mistress though.

 

[MizAvalon]

wow.. I'm surprised to see so many of them last based on this thread. I wouldn't wanna test that theory as a mistress though.

To be fair, these stories are exceptions. Most men don't leave their wives for mistresses. And if he and the wife do break up because of his affair(s), they usually don't marry the other woman.

 

[anon123]

I do see that it's as someone said in another thread. Our default for cheating is man cheats on wife rather than wife cheats on man. That may be a bit more common, but I don't think the imbalance is as great as our talk here would make it seem.

 

[ThickHair]

I know of a couple marriages like that. The first marriage was a mistake and the mistress was clearly who the man was meant to be with because they are still together decades later.

Sting and his wife Trudie Styler are a good celeb example of that. It is possible for those things to work out.

Suzanne Summer's got with her husband when he was married. Ted Danson cheated on his wife with Mary Steenburgen. Robin Williams married the baby sitter, who he was cheating on his wife.

I don't think it is common though.

 

[Lynnerie]

How you get him/her is how you will lose him/her.

If you date/marry a man who cheats on his wife. Thats exactly what you have...A man who will cheat on his wife.

 

[Kinkyhairlady]

I think it could last if the first marriage failed because maybe the person married for the wrong reasons and never really loved the other person 100%. I see folks getting married for green cards, cause one gets knocked up and so on. Marriages like that were not based on love to begin with and will most likely have issues and infidelity will be one of them.
That person may find someone they truely do love and decide to leave. I don't agree with the cheating, I think if you are unhappy just leave instead of involving someone in your mess. Leave and stay single for at least 6months to a year then move on when the divorce is final, that way your ex will not think you left them for someone else. I see marriages that had cheating involve last but majority of the times they don't because the relationship started out dishonest.

 

[MichelleMyBelle]

^^^There are plenty of very happy marriages that were not based on romantic love in the begining. Love came later. I know many of them myself.

 

[Optimus_Prime]

Didn't work out for Lionel Richie.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

I know of two. A friend of mine's parents--the father left his wife and children for his student (he was a college professor). They seem very happy and in love, but who knows?

I worked with a woman whose ex husband left her for his mistress, and according to her, they are happy. I don't think she'd lie about it. She ended up remarrying and seems happy as well. They didn't have any children together.

These are major exceptions.

 

[nathansgirl1908]

I wonder if they're happy? I doubt it.

I long marriage doesn't mean a happy marriage. I had to get those lewis' to see that.

Why would you doubt they are happy? Is it because you would not like the idea that someone who cheated on his wife could marry the other woman and be happy?


I know someone who is the product of a marriage between the man and the other woman. They have been married over 30 years and they are happy. TRULY happy. And he hasn't stepped out on her. His family just felt like he married the wrong woman the first time.

 

[arosieworld]

Yes I know of a happy couple. He was married young to his first wife and then fell out of love had many affairs then met one women he fell in love with again. He and his first wife had children and he waited to divorce until the youngest graduated. They then married and had more children and were together 20 plus years when he died. They were the kind of happy that makes you wistful. I don't think that its so much the persons character that makes them cheat, a lot of times its the life they are living and how they feel about it and themselves.

 

[deltagyrl]

I don't know any success stories.

I know of lots of men who strayed and devastated their families. Their marriages usually ended in divorce. None married the other woman.