Can You Handle Being Treated Well?

Tolle

Tolle

Team Fluid
I have to be honest and really ask myself this question..

The quality of men that I am dating has improved beyond measure once I started living completely unapologetically. I am on a dating high right now.. I am juggling a few very eligible bachelors and having such a fun time. All of the guys I date are gentleman and ensure I have a good time and problem free life if they can help it. But this one guy is so intense with his desire to profess, protect, and provide that I had to stop and take stock.

This dude treats me like a queen; like to the point that I don't quite know how to handle it. He is mature, very financially stable, multiple streams of income, down to earth,very generous, attractive (not necessarily handsome), etc. He checks off like all of he boxes of what I envision my partner to have. The way he covers me while we date.. Lord I cant even begin to imagine the life he would create/ provide as a husband.

The only thing is, I keep second guessing why he is so into me. I mean, he knows we are not exclusive but he is making investments in my life as if we are. Why is he doing all of these things? Why does he care so much? Is he a sucker for me or just a sucker? :look: Like this is too easy. :lachen:

He is very direct and feels like he knows what he wants so hes going to get it. I have never had a man treat me this well and is taking some getting used to.

I hope I am explaining this well. Anyone else experience this?
 
No I don't struggle with this primarily because my parents have always instilled in me that I wasn't found on the ground (Haitian saying lol). Secondly my dad has always been good to my mom so I consider it normal for a man to treat me like his queen. Anything less is unacceptable.
 
Why do feel like you don't deserve the best? There is obviously something awesome about you that this man sees. He is willing to risk it all to be picked by you and so far he has done all the things a decent man is supposed to do without a firm commitment.

Are you dating for fun or for marriage? Once you figure that out then you'll understand why he's doing what he's doing and you'll act accordingly. Just don't hurt him in the process.
 
I've experienced a similar situation and I couldn't explain my hesitation.

Your guy may be a great catch and maybe you are surprised at how transparent he is.

My guy had some issues he was trying to keep under wraps - at least long enough to get me down the aisle.

He came on strong , wanted to be married ASAP and was handing me everything I ever claimed I wanted. Luckily, my intuition caused me to pause long enough to get a better picture of who he was and I ended it.
 
No red flags. This dude is a straight up nice guy. The more I think about it.. guys who are too into me don't keep my attention long and he is perhaps just a bit too into me. BUT the stops he is laying out has put me in weird territory.

Im leaving to meet him for a date now. I'll update tonight.
 
Have you made it clear to him that you are having fun and not serious? If you haven't, then you need to. If he sticks around, then it's on him. At some point you are going to have to make a decision. Commit or cut him loose. Hanging on to him because you are not ready but don't want him to find someone else is not cool. One of you will end up hurt badly. Him, when he realizes you've been stringing him along or you, if he gets fed up of waiting and dips just as your feelings are getting stronger. Y'all need to talk to air some stuff out.

Tolle said:
It has been 4 months. I have been dating for fun but he is definitely dating for marriage.

I feel like maybe I'm not ready for him but also don't want to miss a great catch!
Click to expand...
 
They ain't scare me @DarkJoy :lachen:

Last night was simply everything. This dude is official and I'm going to enjoy the ride.

I don't feel bad or that I am dragging him along because I am honest.

Dude straight up told me that his job is to make the others fade away through proving himself. He is definitely the stand out and I can see the others being left in the shadows if this keeps up.

Its not always the extravagant things either.

We talked about the types of books I like for my son and the next time we saw each other, he had 2 books that fit the description along with a gift card to Barnes and Nobles. (They have not met)

He had to go out of town for work but before he left he got me a car kit and "taught" me how to charge my car battery, put air in my tire, use the flashers, and some other stuff that Ill probably never do.. He also added me to his AAA because he wanted to be sure I would be ok if I had trouble while he was away.

I had to go out of town last week for work. While there, I complained about my flight times and wanting to come home; he text me his credit card info and told me to book an earlier flight to get home. (I did not)

I complained about my new phone being so large and hating the way it felt in my hand. He bought me an apple watch so I don't have to pull it out as often.

Just today, the most beautiful bouquet of flowers were delivered to my job, just because.

He ain't playing and I might just have to fall in line. :yep:
 
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Tolle said:
They ain't scare me @DarkJoy :lachen:

Last night was simply everything. This dude is official and I'm going to enjoy the ride.

I don't feel bad or that I am dragging him along because I am honest.

Dude straight up told me that his job is to make the others fade away through proving himself. He is definitely the stand out and I can see the others being left in the shadows if this keeps up.

Its not always the extravagant things either.

We talked about the types of books I like for my son and the next time we saw each other, he had 2 books that fit the description along with a gift card to Barnes and Nobles. (They have not met)

He had to go out of town for work but before he left he got me a car kit and "taught" me how to charge my car battery, put air in my tire, use the flashers, and some other stuff that Ill probably never do.. He also added me to his AAA because he wanted to be sure I would be ok if I had trouble while he was away.

I had to go out of town last week for work. While there, I complained about my flight times and wanting to come home; he text me his credit card info and told me to book an earlier flight to get home. (I did not)

I complained about my new phone being so large and hating the way it felt in my hand. He bought me an apple watch so I don't have to pull it out as often.

Just today, the most beautiful bouquet of flowers were delivered to my job, just because.

He ain't playing and I might just have to fall in line. :yep:
Click to expand...

He sounds like a real keeper. :pray: for you that he doesn't have a small crayon :lol:
 
I think I will continue to update this thread. :yep:

We had another date last night which was awesome. Most of our dates happen within the small window I have between the time I get off work and have to pick up my son from his dad. This is another thing that sets him apart, he takes any sliver of an opportunity that I make available to see me.

I am a natural born giver and decided to buy him a small gift. I mean small; but this man was so damn appreciative. He is often in the elements with his line of work so I spent 20 bucks on some thick socks and hand and feet warmers packets. He damn near got choked up. He said that he is the giver for everyone in his life and has always been. In his words "Nobody buys me "%$??! babe". I thought that was a little sad..

Anywhoozers

We are taking our first out of town trip next weekend to DC. We have never been intimate so I am a tad bit nervous but wont do anything that I'm not comfortable with.

He just sent me a list of properties to choose from and they are all top notch.

Anyone have any cool recommendations for things to do while in the area?
 
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Tolle said:
I think I will continue to update this thread. :yep:

We had another date last night which was awesome. Most of our dates happen within the small window I have between the time I get off work and have to pick up my son from his dad. This is anther thing that sets him apart, he takes any sliver of an opportunity that I make available to see me.

I am a natural born giver and decided to by him a small gift. I mean small; but this man was so damn appreciative. He is often in the elements with his line of work so I spent 20 bucks on some thick socks and hand and feet warmers packets. He damn near got choked up. He said that he is the giver for everyone in his life and has always been. In his words "Nobody buys me "%$??! babe". I thought that was a little sad..

Anywhoozers

We are taking our first out of town trip next weekend to DC. We have never been intimate so I am a tad bit nervous but wont do anything that I'm not comfortable with.

He just sent me a list of properties to choose from and they are all top notch.

Anyone have any cool recommendations for things to do while in the area?
Click to expand...
I don't know what you are into but the big casino just opened at National Harbor last night.
 
This sounds like what my friend is dealing with she met a great guy and all she does is complain about everything nice he does. She's trying to lose weight and hes like your body is perfect and she texts us I don't want to hear that. He texts her I miss you after 3 days and shes like I don't know if I miss him. She complains that he's short when he's her height in heels, she nitpicks at everything. Her ex was a shallow and condescending alpha male. This new dude owns a business, attractive, nice, cares about her pleasure.

She's going to ruin this and all we can say is you have to let some people learn on their own.
 
Tolle said:
I think I will continue to update this thread. :yep:

We had another date last night which was awesome. Most of our dates happen within the small window I have between the time I get off work and have to pick up my son from his dad. This is another thing that sets him apart, he takes any sliver of an opportunity that I make available to see me.

I am a natural born giver and decided to buy him a small gift. I mean small; but this man was so damn appreciative. He is often in the elements with his line of work so I spent 20 bucks on some thick socks and hand and feet warmers packets. He damn near got choked up. He said that he is the giver for everyone in his life and has always been. In his words "Nobody buys me "%$??! babe". I thought that was a little sad..

Anywhoozers

We are taking our first out of town trip next weekend to DC. We have never been intimate so I am a tad bit nervous but wont do anything that I'm not comfortable with.

He just sent me a list of properties to choose from and they are all top notch.

Anyone have any cool recommendations for things to do while in the area?
Click to expand...

You could visit the new African American history museum (if he's black :look:)

I really like the Zoo this time of the year, it's not stink and there's less kids. They have the Zoo lights.

Georgetown is beautiful, you could do one of those little boat rides. Or go to Old Town in VA. The Kennedy Center has tons of amazing performances. You can also check out the Nutcraker. Wicked is playing too. There's tons of restaurants to enjoy :lick:
 
Thanks for the recs @sj10460 and @crlsweetie912.

I am excited about this weekend.

I am trying to truly decide if I truly like him VS liking the things he does for me... He keeps professing his desire for our future and buying me things; I have never had a problem accepting gifts but in all honesty it's starting to come off as a tad desperate. OR am I so not used to being treated well that it seems desperate. OR maybe a little bit of both..

Its hard to explain but I wonder if he does these things because he thinks I am special, or would any woman who gave him the time of day get the same treatment. I guess it shouldn't matter but for some reason it does. I'm hoping that this weekend gives me some clarity on my feelings.

I am dating 2 other guys pretty heavily and realize that I have more fun with them (They're a bit more ratchet :look:). But I know that fun does not equate to a healthy stable relationship. (Not a current goal of mine) One of them in particular is not as good of a catch(in terms of accomplishments and covering me) but I laughed until I cried and my belly ached on our date last night. On top of that, I know he can tell that someone else has been occupying my time and he has upped the ante a bit in his pursuit. He is taking me to Trinidad for Mardi Gras in February, so if nothing else at least ole dude has inspired some healthy competition.

I will be sure to let you guys know how my weekend goes. :woot:
 
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Tolle said:
Thanks for the recs @sj10460 and @crlsweetie912.

I am excited about this weekend.

I am trying to truly decide if I truly like him VS liking the things he does for me... In all honesty it's starting to come off as a tad desperate. OR am I so not used to being treated well that it seems desperate. OR maybe a little bit of both..

Its hard to explain but I wonder if he does these things because he thinks I am special, or would any woman who gave him the time of day would get the same treatment. I guess it shouldn't matter but for some reason it does. I'm hoping that this weekend gives me some clarity on my feelings.

I am dating 2 other guys pretty heavily and realize that I have more fun with them (They're a bit more ratchet :look:). But I know that fun does not equate to a healthy stable relationship. (Not a current goal of mine) One of them in particular is not as good of a catch(in terms of accomplishments and covering me) but I laughed until I cried on our date last night. On top of that, I know he can tell that someone else has been occupying my time and he has upped the ante a bit in his pursuit. He is taking me to Trinidad for Mardi Gras in February, so if nothing else at least ole dude has inspired some healthy competition.

I will be sure to let you guys know how my weekend goes. :woot:
Click to expand...
Girl, I am not sure how old you are, and by no means am I telling you to settle, but as an older lady....PLEASE don't base anything on ratchet, fun, stuff. If you aren't ready for a relationship (which it kind of seems to me, please forgive me if I'm off) please walk away from this guy and tell him just that. Don't lead him on. It seems like he really likes you and there's nothing worse than falling for somebody who never had any intentions of taking things seriously or to the next level. Again I apologize if I'm off....
 
crlsweetie912 said:
Girl, I am not sure how old you are, and by no means am I telling you to settle, but as an older lady....PLEASE don't base anything on ratchet, fun, stuff. If you aren't ready for a relationship (which it kind of seems to me, please forgive me if I'm off) please walk away from this guy and tell him just that. Don't lead him on. It seems like he really likes you and there's nothing worse than falling for somebody who never had any intentions of taking things seriously or to the next level. Again I apologize if I'm off....
Click to expand...

Too damn old for my own foolishness! lol

I'm 34 and have been single for 2 years now. (My ex hu was a doozy to my life :spinning:) I enjoy dating; it feels like a whole new world now that I have experienced my womanly "glow up". But the end game is a husband at some point sooo..
 
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