Can You Be a Sexy Christian?

[cocoberry10]

Okay, LOL at the title of this thread (yes, I'm laughing at my own thread title )!

I wanted to pose this question to the lovely ladies (and gentleman) on this board.

I feel that often churches discourage women from being "sexy," in dress and things like that, b/c they say it encourages lust.

However, what do you all think? Do you think it's okay to be a sexy Christian woman?

I believe sexiness is less about attire and more about attitude. When I read the stories of women in the bible, I always envision beautiful women, who had the Lord's heart in them, and fire in their spirits.

I do believe that people should be allowed to dress however they want, but it should be for yourself (or maybe your SO if you have one). But I have come to realize that a woman can be completely covered and still be sexy, or she can be dressed with less and still be sexy too.

I think it's in your walk and your confidence that you exude these qualities, whether you are wearing a bikini or a miu miu lol: ). Whether your hair is out or in a bun! Any takers?

 

[Divine Inspiration]

I agree that sexiness is a state of mind and an attitude because some people can be covered from head to toe and be smoldering without saying a word.

Some people possess an essence and a quality that society considers sexy, regardless of how they dress or behave.

I don't believe in dressing or behaving in a way that would cause anyone to stumble. Sometimes it will regardless of what I'm wearing or doing, but the point is intent. I'm not intentionally setting out to have men lusting after me and thinking inappropriate thoughts. I don't believe in teasing men anyway, but I'm just not big on men lusting after me because it's never resulted in anything good for me. I *know* what I will and won't do, and scantily clad clothes suggest that I will be doing things that I know for a fact I won't...so why play the game? If I want to demand respect, then I should dress & behave that way.

A husband will see the spiritual fire and beauty that you spoke of. The "sexy" part of a woman should be reserved for him, IMO, since the marriage bed is undefiled.

So I think it's ok for a woman to be "sexy" for her husband in private. I don't think other people need to witness that. Otherwise, Christian women need to be focused on being of God. Sexiness ought to be at the bottom of the list of things we're coveting. If we're to be setting an example, we have to allow God's will to encompass our lives and our beings. The Bible tells us to flee from immorality and the illusion of the same. So, we have to be careful about what we say and do. We are to be in the world, not of the world, and our good should not be evil spoken of.

My .02

{DI}

 

[Shimmie]

Hi Darlin' .

Being sexy has nothing to do with being a Christian or any other faith. It's simply being a total woman as God designed us.

I enjoy being a woman. I love it! I love my hair, my skin, long warm milk baths, pretty undies (lace and satin) pretty 'Jammies', I love to smell good, I love being soft and gentle in my manner and all of the things that make my world as a woman beautiful.

Yet, in public, I cover up completely in long shirts and pants and skirts; underneath, I'm all lace and satin underwear to keep me in touch with who I am...a woman. I Belly Dance, also dance Hula and Polynesian and my hips will fly and yet soften to many rhythms. Even my walk has a rhythm of it own, that says I am a woman. And all of this 'fits' me, naturally.

But it has its place. I'm not out to be a 'temptress' neither a stumbling block to anyone.

And that's where I define my relationship with the Lord. I keep my sexiness in line with the word of God. Only one man will see 'what's underneath.' The one who is supposed to. I even have female doctors for this purpose. Male doctors are by necessity only.

I dunno, I shared the above to express a point. We are to be 'sexy' as women for sexy defines our gender. However, it does have it's place.

Coco: When I first saw this thread and that it was your post, I almost cried, because I thought I was responsible and presented a negative influence with so many of my posts in the forum. My latest thread was this one.

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=112970

The last thing in the world I would want to do is offend those of you whom I love on this forum...namely you, Coco and several others; including our precious 'brother' here. I'd never want to offend him with anything that I may have said. He's a perfect gentleman and a pure man of God.

Love and hugs...

 

[cocoberry10]

Hi Darlin' .

Being sexy has nothing to do with being a Christian or any other faith. It's simply being a total woman as God designed us.

I enjoy being a woman. I love it! I love my hair, my skin, long warm milk baths, pretty undies (lace and satin) pretty 'Jammies', I love to smell good, I love being soft and gentle in my manner and all of the things that make my world as a woman beautiful.

Yet, in public, I cover up completely in long shirts and pants and skirts; underneath, I'm all lace and satin underwear to keep me in touch with who I am...a woman. I Belly Dance, also dance Hula and Polynesian and my hips will fly and yet soften to many rhythms. Even my walk has a rhythm of it own, that says I am a woman. And all of this 'fits' me, naturally.

But it has its place. I'm not out to be a 'temptress' neither a stumbling block to anyone.

And that's where I define my relationship with the Lord. I keep my sexiness in line with the word of God. Only one man will see 'what's underneath.' The one who is supposed to. I even have female doctors for this purpose. Male doctors are by necessity only.

I dunno, I shared the above to express a point. We are to be 'sexy' as women for sexy defines our gender. However, it does have it's place.

Coco: When I first saw this thread and that it was your post, I almost cried, because I thought I was responsible and presented a negative influence with so many of my posts in the forum. My latest thread was this one.

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=112970

The last thing in the world I would want to do is offend those of you whom I love on this forum...namely you, Coco and several others; including our precious 'brother' here. I'd never want to offend him with anything that I may have said. He's a perfect gentleman and a pure man of God.
Love and hugs...

Oh no Shimmie. My post has nothing to do with your post. I had a conversation with a friend about this, and I was saying that I think sexiness is more an attitude than about what you wear, whether you are wearing a bikini or a miu miu. Even a lot of A-list stars, like Halle Berry, Beyonce, and Gabrielle Union are touted for being sexy when they are wearing all kinds of outfits, both those that cover them and those that show skin!

I too am the biggest girly girl!

Glad to clear up the confusion!

 

[Sistaslick]

I don't know if I've ever actually seen one :scratchch

Cute, yes. Pretty, yes. Amazingly beautiful, yes. Fine, yes. . . . but no "hots" or "sexies" . . .yet.

 

[Shimmie]

Oh no Shimmie. My post has nothing to do with your post. I had a conversation with a friend about this, and I was saying that I think sexiness is more an attitude than about what you wear, whether you are wearing a bikini or a miu miu. Even a lot of A-list stars, like Halle Berry, Beyonce, and Gabrielle Union are touted for being sexy when they are wearing all kinds of outfits, both those that cover them and those that show skin!

I too am the biggest girly girl!

Glad to clear up the confusion!

You're one of my favorite sisters here. You helped me through a big 'challenge'. I couldn't bear offending you. Thanks angel.

 

[Shimmie]

I don't know if I've ever actually seen one :scratchch

Cute, yes. Pretty, yes. Amazingly beautiful, yes. Fine, yes. . . . but no "hots" or "sexies" . . .yet.

That's because we've become ultimate experts at keeping it hidden.

 

[StrawberryQueen]

I pretty much agree with everything here. Sexy can be a lot of things, but it's really how you carry yourself. A confident woman is sexy.

A scantily clad woman screaming for attention is skanky.

You can find both at your local church lol.

 

[Enchantmt]

Yes, you can be sexy. We were designed to be sexy and attract a man. You dont have to have all your assets popping out all over the place. Unfortunately, folx today dont understand sexy and get it confused with trashy.

 

[Mamita]

good question, i have this problem : whatever i wear i'll have whistles, looks stares etc... after some time u get used to it and ignore it all, but i don't want to stop dressing a way that makes me feel good (ie something tight but no cleavage, or nice pants that will make it seem liek i have a butt even though i don't lol) i mean something that makes me feel good about myself!! not to make men lust after me, but really i can't stand baggy clothes, and i have big boobs, and nice legs that would like to go out and play sometimes lol so what do i do? i was told by Mr harcore christian that a dress/skirt above the knee is too short... i do NOT want to dress like Laura Ingalls either! Whatever i wear men will lust, is it then MY fault? or THEIRS? and what do i do?

 

[cocoberry10]

I pretty much agree with everything here. Sexy can be a lot of things, but it's really how you carry yourself. A confident woman is sexy.

A scantily clad woman screaming for attention is skanky.

You can find both at your local church lol.

That's very true!

 

[cocoberry10]

good question, i have this problem : whatever i wear i'll have whistles, looks stares etc... after some time u get used to it and ignore it all, but i don't want to stop dressing a way that makes me feel good (ie something tight but no cleavage, or nice pants that will make it seem liek i have a butt even though i don't lol) i mean something that makes me feel good about myself!! not to make men lust after me, but really i can't stand baggy clothes, and i have big boobs, and nice legs that would like to go out and play sometimes lol so what do i do? i was told by Mr harcore christian that a dress/skirt above the knee is too short... i do NOT want to dress like Laura Ingalls either! Whatever i wear men will lust, is it then MY fault? or THEIRS? and what do i do?

I feel your pain. I am also well endowed up top, and I'm really tiny down below (no bigger than size 2), and no matter what I wear, the girls are visible (not necessarily cleavage, but you can tell I have a chest). I also get whistles and stares, even in church ! It's actually more awkward when a man in church "hits on me" than a man on the street. At least I feel like I'm "in the world" when I'm walking down the street!

 

[SUPER SWEET]

That's very true!

You have that right. At my philly church if you came in club sexy you would get passed a sheet to wrap up with.

 

[Plenty]

I know I am... Hallelujah!

 

[mch5683]

I agree that sexiness is a state of mind and an attitude because some people can be covered from head to toe and be smoldering without saying a word.

Some people possess an essence and a quality that society considers sexy, regardless of how they dress or behave.

I don't believe in dressing or behaving in a way that would cause anyone to stumble. Sometimes it will regardless of what I'm wearing or doing, but the point is intent. I'm not intentionally setting out to have men lusting after me and thinking inappropriate thoughts. I don't believe in teasing men anyway, but I'm just not big on men lusting after me because it's never resulted in anything good for me. I *know* what I will and won't do, and scantily clad clothes suggest that I will be doing things that I know for a fact I won't...so why play the game? If I want to demand respect, then I should dress & behave that way.

A husband will see the spiritual fire and beauty that you spoke of. The "sexy" part of a woman should be reserved for him, IMO, since the marriage bed is undefiled.

So I think it's ok for a woman to be "sexy" for her husband in private. I don't think other people need to witness that. Otherwise, Christian women need to be focused on being of God. Sexiness ought to be at the bottom of the list of things we're coveting. If we're to be setting an example, we have to allow God's will to encompass our lives and our beings. The Bible tells us to flee from immorality and the illusion of the same. So, we have to be careful about what we say and do. We are to be in the world, not of the world, and our good should not be evil spoken of.

My .02

{DI}

Very well said!

 

[Shimmie]

good question, i have this problem : whatever i wear i'll have whistles, looks stares etc... after some time u get used to it and ignore it all, but i don't want to stop dressing a way that makes me feel good (ie something tight but no cleavage, or nice pants that will make it seem liek i have a butt even though i don't lol) i mean something that makes me feel good about myself!! not to make men lust after me, but really i can't stand baggy clothes, and i have big boobs, and nice legs that would like to go out and play sometimes lol so what do i do? i was told by Mr harcore christian that a dress/skirt above the knee is too short...

i do NOT want to dress like Laura Ingalls either! Whatever i wear men will lust, is it then MY fault? or THEIRS? and what do i do?

I just figured out who "Laura Ingalls" is....................

Little House on the Prairie.........I didn't get it at first. I was trying to figure out if you were talking about a stripper or someone 'racey' like Anna Nicole........... Oh Dear........Now I get it. And I saw this post earlier at work today.

Okay, so during the day, call me Laura Ingalls. Because I hide everything. I even wear minimizer bras to church ("Curvations" brand). My breasts get too much attention. I'm just not comfortable with men staring at my breasts or my Derrierre. .

Laura Ingalls....I got it now. Oh my, I need to keep up with the times and TV.

 

[cocoberry10]

I know I am... Hallelujah!

I tried to PM you, but your box is full!

 

[upandcoming]

I have nothing to add, but I have to say...I really like this thread. =)

 

[Mamita]

I just figured out who "Laura Ingalls" is....................

Little House on the Prairie.........I didn't get it at first. I was trying to figure out if you were talking about a stripper or someone 'racey' like Anna Nicole........... Oh Dear........Now I get it. And I saw this post earlier at work today.

Okay, so during the day, call me Laura Ingalls. Because I hide everything. I even wear minimizer bras to church ("Curvations" brand). My breasts get too much attention. I'm just not comfortable with men staring at my breasts or my Derrierre. .

Laura Ingalls....I got it now. Oh my, I need to keep up with the times and TV.

Yeah she's the butt of a lot of jokes in my lil group, or if someone tries to take advantage of our kindness like we're stupid we say "it doesn't say Laura / Charles (for guys) Ingalls on my forehead" yeah TV is a huge part of our references. For example, since i'm very naive and optimistic they say i have too many little poneys lol stuff like that...
anyway, wow, that's a real shame to have to do that! well i think it is, i mean it's God's gift, I'm proud and people should be respectful, and if they're not, well i just ignore them, but i don't like the idea of hiding because of men's perversions !! And now he wants under the knee skirts !! pffff !!

I just hope when i see his sister, who apparently dresses according to the Word, i won't gasp loool I like fashion, i was a very small time model on my island when i was younger, and if i think she dresses like a potato bag i think he and I will have a lil problem there !!

 

[HERicane10]

Really great thread sisters. It amazes me daily how many things we have to be ever so conscious of, so as not to cause stumbling for anyone. From the way we dress to where we eat/drink, or even what hotels we choose to patronage (some folks here frown on casino hotels ). I believe that God gives each of our own convictions as we grow in His knowledge and wisdom and mature in our Christian walk.

 

[Sweet C]

Awesome thread ladies!

I believe that this is an issue that often needs to be addressed in detail in the church, because a lot of women do have issues with dressing modestly, and a large part of that is knowing yourself,your own body, and whats appropiate for what you are participating in.

For example, I myself am pretty large on top, therefore I am going to have to take extra precautions with what I wear on top. So I know that underneath my clothing, I need to wear some good bras and/or body minimizers if needed. One thing I have found that also works pretty well is wearing suit jackets/blazers/etc. over shirts when I go to church. That way if I shout, yeah the girls are going to be jumping a bit, but its a lot less distracting than if I have on just the shirt by itself. Also, I have the tendency to sit like a man sometimes, so when I am wearing a skirt that isn't long (though its still a suitable length standing), its in my best interest to bring my lapcloth, that way I can sit a little more comfortably and not having to worry about my gaping legs.

Also, my husband is a tremendous help. We have had discussions about this, and getting a male perspective on things is truly eye opening, b/c something might seem ok to me, and my husband will say is pushing it or it might be ok if you are not planning to shout, kneel, or go on the pulpit for anything, so I will change. He told me to watch the ministers, and if all of them are looking up at the ceiling, chances are a woman is wearing something that is inappropiate, whether she realizes it or not.

 

[live2bgr8]

I agree that sexiness is a state of mind and an attitude because some people can be covered from head to toe and be smoldering without saying a word.

Some people possess an essence and a quality that society considers sexy, regardless of how they dress or behave.

I don't believe in dressing or behaving in a way that would cause anyone to stumble. Sometimes it will regardless of what I'm wearing or doing, but the point is intent. I'm not intentionally setting out to have men lusting after me and thinking inappropriate thoughts. I don't believe in teasing men anyway, but I'm just not big on men lusting after me because it's never resulted in anything good for me. I *know* what I will and won't do, and scantily clad clothes suggest that I will be doing things that I know for a fact I won't...so why play the game? If I want to demand respect, then I should dress & behave that way.

A husband will see the spiritual fire and beauty that you spoke of. The "sexy" part of a woman should be reserved for him, IMO, since the marriage bed is undefiled.

So I think it's ok for a woman to be "sexy" for her husband in private. I don't think other people need to witness that. Otherwise, Christian women need to be focused on being of God. Sexiness ought to be at the bottom of the list of things we're coveting. If we're to be setting an example, we have to allow God's will to encompass our lives and our beings. The Bible tells us to flee from immorality and the illusion of the same. So, we have to be careful about what we say and do. We are to be in the world, not of the world, and our good should not be evil spoken of.

My .02

{DI}

Basically, you said it for me again... Stop reading my mind . J/k... I'm in total agreement with Divine Inspiration and many of the women on this thread.

Anyone and everyone can be sexy to anybody... It's just wise to be sexy for your intended spouse. It makes life easier-- for sure!

 

[live2bgr8]

Awesome thread ladies!

I believe that this is an issue that often needs to be addressed in detail in the church, because a lot of women do have issues with dressing modestly, and a large part of that is knowing yourself,your own body, and whats appropiate for what you are participating in.

For example, I myself am pretty large on top, therefore I am going to have to take extra precautions with what I wear on top. So I know that underneath my clothing, I need to wear some good bras and/or body minimizers if needed. One thing I have found that also works pretty well is wearing suit jackets/blazers/etc. over shirts when I go to church. That way if I shout, yeah the girls are going to be jumping a bit, but its a lot less distracting than if I have on just the shirt by itself. Also, I have the tendency to sit like a man sometimes, so when I am wearing a skirt that isn't long (though its still a suitable length standing), its in my best interest to bring my lapcloth, that way I can sit a little more comfortably and not having to worry about my gaping legs.

Also, my husband is a tremendous help. We have had discussions about this, and getting a male perspective on things is truly eye opening, b/c something might seem ok to me, and my husband will say is pushing it or it might be ok if you are not planning to shout, kneel, or go on the pulpit for anything, so I will change. He told me to watch the ministers, and if all of them are looking up at the ceiling, chances are a woman is wearing something that is inappropiate, whether she realizes it or not.

Yep, I agree...

 

[PaperClip]

I haven't read the entire thread but um.... I've been in church all my life and I don't know how to even begin to be sexy, esp. as I'm STILL WAITING on the sexual aspect of my life to start.... So where/how am I supposed to learn about sexiness in a healthy, non-tempting way? Yes, I have a couple of healthy marriages around me but again, because I have yet had the opportunity to be fully sexy yet, it's not like it's going to be a topic of choice in a conversation.... (Sigh)

Signed,

Waiting to Exhale!

 

[kbragg]

no we cannot..not by the world's standards anyway. The truth is, if there was no such thing as make up, weave, or airbrushing, nobody would be sexy! Take Pam Anderson. Everyone thought she epitmized sexyness until we stated seeing her tracs and without makeup. Same thing with ALL the "sexy" women. Without make up, airpbrusing, weaves, and implants, we all look pretty much the same. Pretty yes, sexy? I doubt it. Ruth, Sarah & Rebecca...now THAT's sexy! They were fully covered and still beuatiful. They'd probably be "plain Jane" today though...

 

[Shimmie]

Awesome thread ladies!

I believe that this is an issue that often needs to be addressed in detail in the church, because a lot of women do have issues with dressing modestly, and a large part of that is knowing yourself,your own body, and whats appropiate for what you are participating in.

For example, I myself am pretty large on top, therefore I am going to have to take extra precautions with what I wear on top. So I know that underneath my clothing, I need to wear some good bras and/or body minimizers if needed.

One thing I have found that also works pretty well is wearing suit jackets/blazers/etc. over shirts when I go to church.

That way if I shout, yeah the girls are going to be jumping a bit, but its a lot less distracting than if I have on just the shirt by itself.

Also, I have the tendency to sit like a man sometimes, so when I am wearing a skirt that isn't long (though its still a suitable length standing), its in my best interest to bring my lapcloth, that way I can sit a little more comfortably and not having to worry about my gaping legs.

Also, my husband is a tremendous help. We have had discussions about this, and getting a male perspective on things is truly eye opening, b/c something might seem ok to me, and my husband will say is pushing it or it might be ok if you are not planning to shout, kneel, or go on the pulpit for anything, so I will change. He told me to watch the ministers, and if all of them are looking up at the ceiling, chances are a woman is wearing something that is inappropiate, whether she realizes it or not.

This is my entire point is wearing full support and minimizer bras... ESPECIALLY in Church. I don't want to be jiggly...when the praises are going up. And you really see some bosom jiggles in Church when the 'shouts' begin.

I just don't want to be a distraction. I love wearing ultra feminine clothing; lace, ruffles, you name it. But I will put on a jacket, blazer or long sweater quick, if I feel that I may be too obvious up top (or the bottom...I have a full upper and lower deck....Lord, help me... ) That's why I just cover it all.

 

[ShaniKeys]

Most black celebs are sexy Christians (Beyoncé, Mary J Blige)

 

[Divine Inspiration]

Basically, you said it for me again... Stop reading my mind . J/k... I'm in total agreement with Divine Inspiration and many of the women on this thread.

Anyone and everyone can be sexy to anybody... It's just wise to be sexy for your intended spouse. It makes life easier-- for sure!

You've stolen many of my thoughts in other threads so you owe me!

 

[Shimmie]

no we cannot..not by the world's standards anyway. The truth is, if there was no such thing as make up, weave, or airbrushing, nobody would be sexy! Take Pam Anderson. Everyone thought she epitmized sexyness until we stated seeing her tracs and without makeup. Same thing with ALL the "sexy" women. Without make up, airpbrusing, weaves, and implants, we all look pretty much the same. Pretty yes, sexy? I doubt it. Ruth, Sarah & Rebecca...now THAT's sexy! They were fully covered and still beuatiful. They'd probably be "plain Jane" today though...

You know what, "K", you are so right about the world's standards? But I really don't give in to it. I don't wear make-up on a daily basis and minimal when I do wear it. Only when I'm 'staging' (I'll wear it for theatrical purposes). But my daughter and I both get away without it and we look radiant.

No airbrush nails; too expensive to keep up. I wear clear polish most of the time. Don't have implants....yet But hey, it I ever do need them, I'm going for it all the way... Indeed I will.

I hate eye make-up. I do not like mascara at all. And I do not like to see women shave off their natural eye brows and then apply penciled ones. That's unnatural to me.

All in all, I am my most beautiful when...

* I've just finished a work-out or at the end of my dance classes. My face is 'blushed' naturally and my skin is glowing from the blood rush.

* I've just looked into the eyes of someone I love.

* I've just hugged one of my 'babies'

* When I worship God...I'm always at my most beautiful. His loving glow fills and covers me all the way through. "I have His glow."

Ah - Ha.... but I'm most sexy when...

* I'm fully covered from head to toe...

* I'm dancing...wearing one of my dance gowns...

AND....the Ultimate

When, I've just stepped out of the tub or shower; wet hair, skin glowing, wet eyelashes, and my natural brown skin with a blush. No husband would ever see that as 'plain jane'...

The world doesn't know beauty...at all.

BTW: Lady K, Your new picture is very pretty in your Avatar.

 

[kbragg]

Thanks Shimme! It's actually and old pic (hence the short hair). When I said airbrushing I meant like most celebs are (magazine covers). I mean, we've all seen Oprah without makeup...Mary J and Beyonce (is Beyonce' a Christian anymore? Last I checked she stopped putting gospel songs on her albums when she went Solo...) look like everybody else without make up. Brittney, Vanessa Williams, etc. Not saying they're not attractive, but a woman who loves the Lord with all her heart and loves her husband...that's sexy...not the worlds version of sexy with is just lust and perversion.