Can Women Emotionally Detach Like Men?

[Hairsnob]

This is not about whether casual sex is right or wrong because we're all adults. But as women, how many of you can detach sex from emotions?

I have a friend who is not in a relationship but is seeing someone to take care of her needs (sexual) until she finds "the one". He is much younger than her and has none of the qualities she wants for a relationship. She says he serves that one purpose so she doesn't care.

She's an adult and can do what she wants of course but I told her she will end up catching feelings for him if she keeps seeing him and end up with what she doesn't want. Of course she denies catching feelings but is complaining about how no good of a man he is and how she gets mad if he doesn't answer when she calls. Uggh!! I just think she's setting herself up because this happens to her over and over with guys and I always warn her but it doesn't help because she thinks it's just sex.

I'm not saying a woman can't detach and maybe have a fling or something but I'm talking about seeing a person repeatedly. But that's why I want to know other women's views on this. I could be wrong but I think eventually if you continue to sleep with a man you will eventually catch feelings. I think an exception is if you are seeing more than one guy or if you're already in a relationship with someone.

Have any of you ever been able to detach and see a man sexually over a long period of time and NOT develop feelings? Remember, I don't mean if you were already in a relationship or something and it was just a side joint LOL.

 

[JayAnn0513]

For me? It's possible, but only in the short term. I tend to compartmentalize my life in neat little boxes so when I was single I could certainly enjoy the company of a man then move right along. Even see him with another chick and not bat an eye.

 

[BostonMaria]

It's definitely possible. Some women are worse than men when it comes to sleeping around and being emotionally detached.


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[MzLady78]

Some definitely can. I was actually talking about this with my girl not too long ago. She said that when she realizes that her and a guy are not on the same page, she has the ability to shut down emotionally but still hang out with him, sleep with him, etc.

She also told me that I do NOT possess this ability. And she's right.

 

[pisceschica]

I'm sure its possible. Every woman isn't an overly emotional creature. I don't consider myself to be emotional however I know I can't be with someone who only has physical relations with me. I just don't want to feel used and that my body is the only thing that I have to offer.

 

[Dee_33]

Yes...a lot of women can.

 

[qchelle]

Of course; I'm sure lots of women can.

 

[kismettt]

yep.

i always say this, but i think it's really true. the best/only type of fwb situation is when the person has some quality that makes them non-dateable...ever.

 

[daydreem2876]

I can... but I am an Aquarius and its what we do

 

[Bmack]

I think women say that they can, but I don't believe it. I just dont.

Besides that I think my body is too good to just shell out, talking about, I just want to buck...no thanks!

 

[miss cosmic]

some women can, definitely. not too many though in my opinion.
I know some can because I have. I say not a lot of women can because almost every time I've seen someone try they've always eventually fallen for the guy.

maybe everyone falls in love if they shag exclusively long enough. I don't see how you can sleep with a guy exclusively for say 3 years and not feel something.
so it might not really be detaching it might just be that we commit at different rates. some people feel that bond after a month, some three and others way longer.
I've never known a couple to sleep together indefinitely...one of them usually falls and it is NOT always the woman.


I dont understand why women feel used I

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[BlackMasterPiece]

I am WAY too emotionally detached from men and it is something I am actively working on changing in the new year. Like I'm fully comfortable keeping my distance, never calling and letting them call/contact me, not seeing them regularly. I'll give them a little bit of attention but then I'll just bounce, it plays into this whole cat and mouse instinct men have but really its about me protecting myself from getting hurt.

I date them for a while and then cut ties before any real "intimacy" occurs. I think on some level I dont trust men in general (which is so weird because my dad was awesome growing up and there were like 10 more positive male figures where that came from in my life). Its my MO and I wanna change it. There will be a huge revamp in 2011.

 

[CurlyMoo]

Not all men emotionally detach. They can be very emotional, touchy feely, clingy stinkers who won't let go even when it's long over.

 

[topnotch1010]

I think eventually if you continue to sleep with a man you will eventually catch feelings. I think an exception is if you are seeing more than one guy or if you're already in a relationship with someone.

Have any of you ever been able to detach and see a man sexually over a long period of time and NOT develop feelings? Remember, I don't mean if you were already in a relationship or something and it was just a side joint LOL.

I agree with you. I have yet to see a woman who sleeps with a man continuously and not get some sort of feelings for him. Not saying it can't happen, I just have yet to see it, especially when he's the only one she's sleeping with.

Now, if she's got multiple partners then I can see it very easily.

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[Ladybelle]

I agree with you. I have yet to see a woman who sleeps with a man continuously and not get some sort of feelings for him. Not saying it can't happen, I just have yet to see it, especially when he's the only one she's sleeping with.

Now, if she's got multiple partners then I can see it very easily.

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@ topnotch- not to hijack or anything, but your hair grew that much in 17 months? I was looking at your siggy love it.

to answer the question: NEVER seen it happen. Women try to play that game, but we aren't wired to be emotionally detached, being emotional is what makes us women. The one chick I know who could detach had emotional issues that caused her to be that way, it wasn't that she just upped and decided to be void of emotion.

 

[dannie]

I can... but I am an Aquarius and its what we do

Me too and I'm the same way. Sex=Love to me

Not every women gets sweeped up in a sea of googly goo just because they've done it with someone. But the only people I can do this with are people I dont see myself really being with for one reasaon or another. If I like a guy, then just being fb would be a disaster.

And who wouldnt get mad if you call someone and they dont answer/do what they say they're going to do? Thats just rude, doesnt mean your deep in love with them.

 

[MzLady78]

I can... but I am an Aquarius and its what we do

I'm an Aquarius too. I must have absent the day they the were passing out this trait.

 

[Lenee925]

I wouldn't say "a lot" of women can do this. I believe it's a small minority. I would not say I can be "emotionally detached" to a guy, but maybe emotionally unavailable? I think there is a difference. I would say I keep my heart very guarded, but not completley detached to where it borders on a personality disorder.

 

[deltagyrl]

Man, I don't know.

I hear women say it but have yet to see this happen.

I used to think I could, but nah...

 

[qchelle]

Let me clarify, I think women can emotionally detach just fine if they're seeing more than 1 guy. I've seen this happen multiple times; I've never thought anything of it. Now if she was seeing just 1 guy, well I've never been in a situation nor have I heard of any1 doing this to where she even wanted to emotionally detach. So I can't say anything on that front.

 

[topnotch1010]

@ topnotch- not to hijack or anything, but your hair grew that much in 17 months? I was looking at your siggy love it.

Yea ma'am it did. Thank you so much!

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[sunnieb]

I think some women can, but not many. As stated above, for a woman to continuously sleep with a man means something. I don't care how detached she was when she started.

On the flip side, I think more women are becoming capable of a no strings attached one night stand. They are at an emotionally unavailable time in their lives, but want some "maintenance" without the drama of a relationship.

 

[MissGomes]

I think some women can, but not many. As stated above, for a woman to continuously sleep with a man means something. I don't care how detached she was when she started.

On the flip side, I think more women are becoming capable of a no strings attached one night stand. They are at an emotionally unavailable time in their lives, but want some "maintenance" without the drama of a relationship.

It means it was really good!! LOL


They definitely can! The guy can be really cool, easy to hang around with.. But for whatever reason.. sometimes, just isnt the "right" time for a relationship.

 

[ambergirl]

Why would you want to? Most of the women I know who claim to be doing this are either not telling the truth or are dealing with some emotional stuff around intimacy.

 

[Honey Bee]

Why would you want to? Most of the women I know who claim to be doing this are either not telling the truth or are dealing with some emotional stuff around intimacy.

... or aren't in the same location long enough to build lasting relationships, or have extremely busy professional lives, or are in school and don't need distractions, or just don't want a man.

Why it always gotta be 'emotional issues' when a woman wants to just get some and KIM? I mean, damn. It ain't always that serious.

eta: and I'm a Taurus... raised by an Aquarius. Y'all might be on to something in here.

 

[ambergirl]

... or aren't in the same location long enough to build lasting relationships, or have extremely busy professional lives, or are in school and don't need distractions, or just don't want a man.

Why it always gotta be 'emotional issues' when a woman wants to just get some and KIM? I mean, damn. It ain't always that serious.

eta: and I'm a Taurus... raised by an Aquarius. Y'all might be on to something in here.

All I'm saying is that I don't personally know any women successfully pulling that off. A lot claim to be, but underneath it they're hoping for more, catching a feeling, or yes...got some issues. If that's not you, bravo for you.

 

[kismettt]

i know women who can & do, or can't. same as as men.

 

[*CherryPie*]

Yep! Because, sorry to say, almost every man i've dated became very emotional and would not let go. That's not a fun thing dealing with men like that.

Not all men emotionally detach. They can be very emotional, touchy feely, clingy stinkers who won't let go even when it's long over.

 

[Glamourstruckk]

I know several people who are capable of this. I mean doggin' a man out something serious! However, I do know that one of these people craves being in a relationship and wants to go on dates. I think she's completely separated sex from relationships all together. It's something she does, regrets, forgets, then repeats (with someone else).

 

[LoveisYou]

I am yet to meet a woman who can detach emotionally if she's having intimate relations with a man frequently.