BUT OPRAH SAID - THIS IS A RANT

[realitychk]

I am actually surprised that they knew our hair takes some serious manipulation and chemicals to make it straight and that it doesn't grow out our head like that. Most white women I have ran into are surprised that the way I wear my hair is the way it grows out of my head. I have to explain that black women with straight hair are using chemicals to acheive this look. I have to explain what a relaxer is. They are shocked by this which is funny and sad all at the same time.

 

[Desert Skye]

Thanks Glossyxlipz, You got me entirely and thanks to all the others who understand what I'm talking about.

I wanted to get away and not get drawn into this conversation but I couldn't and I was quite until one of them spoke directly to me so I thought I might as well take the opportunity. I was very nice because I do understand. I've been ignorant before about their culture but I was very young. These old ladies with superior attitudes have had more years than I have to learn better. A little logical thinking could change their whole attitudes, it changed mine.

Oh no I very well understand what you were trying to do. I also know all too well about that "superior" attitude they were trying to give you. I'mma keep it real and say with some of them, you can have you PH.D from MIT, make well over 6 figures, be a Nobel Peace Prize winner, but they will always think you are a poor little inferior black girl.

 

[Hair Iam]

I applaud your response!!! I hate ignorance!

Thank you for enlightening them

 

[diamondlady]

Oh no I very well understand what you were trying to do. I also know all too well about that "superior" attitude they were trying to give you. I'mma keep it real and say with some of them, you can have you PH.D from MIT, make well over 6 figures, be a Nobel Peace Prize winner, but they will always think you are a poor little inferior black girl.

Wait a minute Glossyxlipz, Girl, Where you there? THAT IS IT!!! EXACTLY.

 

[jasmin]

I wouldn't care if it's my own race, some other race or some ignite white person. They all need to be schooled or ignored.

 

[Coffee]

I was under the impression when Oprah said it takes hours to get our hair done, she meant having to wait so long in beauty shops. Some operators will start on 2-3 people's hair at one time, hence it takes hours for us to get our hair done .

 

[DarkAngell]

I'm probably gonna be stoned by this, but I wouldn't have taken this as a slam. If our own race is not educated about black hair care, how is some other race going to know? These ladies probably think Oprah knows everything. Maybe it takes HER that long to do her hair because she can afford to spend the $$$.

Thats what im thinkin as well. They dont mean to criticize. Some white people are very curious about our hair. And many of the misconceptions ive seen white people have, they could have very well stemmed from a black person who didnt know how to care for her hair properly. I LOVE educating people on how are hair works! The dumbfounded expressions people have on their face sometimes is priceless lol.

 

[Barbara]

Someone needs to educate Oprah. She's probably getting all her information from her hair stylist.

 

[SparklingFlame]

Why cant I ever be blessed to have these kind of convos with the other persuasion (I wont say clear! )

 

[PaperClip]

Why cant I ever be blessed to have these kind of convos with the other persuasion (I wont say clear! )

You know what? There's something to that.... I guess they can "sense" those who have lower levels of tolerance and/or higher levels of discernment....

And yes, I've been asked such questions as "do you all tan"... and I showed them (on my wrist, y'all!)...and I checked myself before I responded because I do concur with what somebody else said about how will people know unless the question is asked.... Some people are genuinely curious....

I still check myself because when I was in high school and somebody said they were (Roman) Catholic, I was like "no you're not!" and they were like "yes I am!".... Hey, I didn't know. I thought all Black folk were Baptist or Pentecostal because that's all I was exposed to (back then).... I have since learned otherwise because somebody looked beyond my "ignorance" (lack of knowledge/information/exposure) versus "ignorance" as (insensitive).

 

[MizAvalon]

Good for you for speaking up, I hope they learned something.

Off to read the rest of the thread because I know there have got to be some spicy responses in here!

 

[AvaSpeaks]

I am actually surprised that they knew our hair takes some serious manipulation and chemicals to make it straight and that it doesn't grow out our head like that. Most white women I have ran into are surprised that the way I wear my hair is the way it grows out of my head. I have to explain that black women with straight hair are using chemicals to acheive this look. I have to explain what a relaxer is. They are shocked by this which is funny and sad all at the same time.

Be careful! Because not all Black women that have straight hair have it because they use a relaxer.

You are partially making the same kind of generalizations without elaborating like Oprah. Because of statements like that, I have to do the opposite. I have to convince people, both White and Black and other races too that some of us DO have straight hair, naturally, without chemicals, direct heat or being mixed. So when you say things like that, it makes it alot harder for other people to believe that we all have different textures.

 

[MizAvalon]

I am actually surprised that they knew our hair takes some serious manipulation and chemicals to make it straight and that it doesn't grow out our head like that. Most white women I have ran into are surprised that the way I wear my hair is the way it grows out of my head. I have to explain that black women with straight hair are using chemicals to acheive this look. I have to explain what a relaxer is. They are shocked by this which is funny and sad all at the same time.

OT, but your hair looks great in your avatar!

 

[jasmin]

Someone needs to educate Oprah. She's probably getting all her information from her hair stylist.

I agree. Oprah is part of the problem when she tells her core audience who is white about our hair. She's not like all black people and neither is our hair.

 

[Moroni]

ITA, you handled that very well

OT: Are these YOUR little ones??? Samoyeds, right? Cute!

Although I'm ignorant about other races' trials and care with their hair, I don't think I'd make it a topic of conversation with a member of that race present, if she didn't bring it up, unless I (consciously or unconsciously .... who knows?) felt superior to the person present, and didn't give a care to what she thought. JMHO

It's unfortunate that O sensationalizes our ethnicity, but....ratings, right?

 

[Moroni]

Why would they think we like our hair if we are constatly straightening it to look like theirs?

Mind you these white people are just silly, foolish and probably look down on black folks but what would you think if the majority of whites were making their skin brown? It's a popular opinion that white men like skinny girls with flat butts but that is not always true. Now how ignorant does that make a lot of folks sound?

Ever hear of a tanning booth? They DOOOOOOO!!!!!! Take a look at this guy:

 

[chicacanella]

People are afraid to ask b/c they do not know if they are being offensive and met with nasty/nicesty comments back or what. People do not know what they do not know so that is another level of complication put in the mix.

No one has time to figure out each individual, their likes, disklikes, their past life experiences before asking a question. If one CHOOSES to be offended, then so be it but don't blame anyone else for that. It's a choice and at the end of the day we can only control ourselves. If people are asking what you consider "stupid" questions - don't entertain it and move on.

And based on the delivery of the message will determine whether a lesson was really learned or the person discounted for coming across as angry and bitter.

For instance, many black folks are IGNORANT of the differences between someone from Mexico, Puerto Rico, Cuba, Panama, Honduras, etc. They lump everyone in the same category including the food! If I hear ONE more black person refer to anything 1/2 way hispanic cuisine as MEXICAN food I am going to strangle someone. If I hear another black person act shocked there are black hispanics in the world - I am going to slap someone! Could I get sassy and nasty every time a black person makes these silly generalizations of course. But it ai'nt that deep really - more annoying if anything. I once heard a black person refer to Puerto Ricans as tropical Mexicans!

Nothing to get my pressure up over though.


\

I think most of Americans period are ignorant of other cultures.

 

[chicacanella]

Someone needs to educate Oprah. She's probably getting all her information from her hair stylist.

Wasn't he the one who said if you have type 4 hair that it will not grow past your shoulders? Yeah, that was him.

 

[SleekandBouncy]

I may the only one that feels this way, but the part that irritated me the most isn't that they thought we all have the same hair texture, but that annoying condescending sympathy and smugness. "Oh poor you. You're trying so hard for your hair to be straight like ours". Granted all white people don't have straight hair, but still.

 

[cheeks87]

And yes, I've been asked such questions as "do you all tan"... and I showed them (on my wrist, y'all!)...and I checked myself before I responded because I do concur with what somebody else said about how will people know unless the question is asked.... Some people are genuinely curious....

The only people who will ARGUE with me on whether or not black people get tans are black people and that ish is so annoying. It took me 2 years to convince my boyfriend that black people "tan" and even then, he will only say that light people tan, not dark people. *head to desk* But yeah, I'll mention that I need a tan or have a tan and someone will always pipe up, "Black people can't get tans." Sigh. It's the darndest thing. I'm always like, so what do you call it when you get darker during the summer....sun magic?

Kinda off-topic.....

 

[tbaby_8]

Yeah, I used to think that until one of my friends went to a tanning booth. She is light skinned, but she still tanned because she was in a wedding.

But it is true, black people tan and bet sun burned. Boy did I find out that one the hard way.

 

[jasmin]

Well I'm brown and I still tan without trying.

No I don't lay out and tan and maybe that's what people are thinking but I do tan if I sit in the sun.

I agree there is a smugness about them thinking we have to do all this to have certain hair. I find it all annoying.

 

[cheeks87]

Yeah, I used to think that until one of my friends went to a tanning booth. She is light skinned, but she still tanned because she was in a wedding.

But it is true, black people tan and bet sun burned. Boy did I find out that one the hard way.

I get sunburned too. Another fact people will try to dispute, but black people can get sunburned. You should've SEEN my Dad after we went to the Bahamas. His entire torso was BRIGHT RED. Oh how we laughed.

 

[TwistNMx]

Talking to some (white) ladies at a dinner party and the subject of "hair" came up. I thought "Oh my God, this is going to be ONE of THOSE discussions". They started getting these sympathetic looks and they started talking about little girls with bleeding heads from braids. I started looking around trying to get out of the conversation, talk to someone else, because I knew they were going to upset me with their ignorance.

I wasn't saying much, hoping that this conversation would go away if I didn't participate. Then they started talking about the Afro and the 70s. Then one lady said, "I guess those are coming back and that would make things a lot easier for you, since you wear your hair straight" I gave her a blank stare and then it came, she said, "You won't have to spend hours and hours on your hair to get that straight look". I told her I don't spend hours and hours on my hair getting it staight. She then said "what the shortest amount of time it would take you to do your hair" I told her, "If I'm in a hurry, about 40 minutes from wash to walk"
She looked shocked and said, "BUT OPRAH SAID IT TAKES YALL HOURS TO GET YOUR HAIR DONE."

I said "Did Oprah tell you that all Black people don't have the same hair texture" Every one of those ladies looked at me like I was an alien. "You don't" I said "Of course not. Think of all the women in your family, do they all have the same hair texture and color" She said no. I then said "So if all your relatives don't have the same hair texture and they are related, why would a whole race of people have the same hair texture and they are not all related to each other."

I tried to get out of this early because I could see where it was going and I hate these conversation with old, ignore white people"

L@@K,
I agree with you. I live in a white community, but I'm NOT about to be anyones victim.
Every now and then... including just last night in Sallys someone like this will pull out the Bible of Oprah. It's her opinion.
I think a lot of these people have guilt complexes or something. They feel that the "only" way they can start up a conversation is with the first word "Oprah". Ha! Ha! My husband even laughs at them and he's white also.
So for the record, I think that because she's getting all of the media attention and not to forget...being raised on a petal stool (sp.)...the (as we say in our household)..."the brainwashing of america begins".
I agree with whoever said here that people shouldn't look to the celebs for all of the answers.
This is the same mentality that Jessie Jackson followers have with the "Afro-american" thing....but I know that's another thread.