Brothas are missing out . . .

[Glib Gurl]

Okay first let me start off by saying that this is NOT a black-man-bashing, white-men-are-the-answer threads. This is just my simple observation.

Anyways, I notice that black and white men seem to approach sisters differently. In general (yes, general - as in, generalization ) it seems to me that if both a brotha and white dude as for a sister's number, the white guy will call her up right away and ask her out for a date. Meanwhile, the brotha lets the number sit around a while, whether he's trying to play games or just on the lookout for "something better" around the corner. Meanwhile, the white dude is sweeping sistergurl off her feet - going out of his way to express his feelings.

I don't know. Maybe this is just my experience . . .but something tells me that the brothas are missing out on a good thing but are too busy trying to play the odds to realize it.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

I think all experiences are different.

As far as I remember, when I dated, all the Black men that received my number called me right away, and quite often--meaning I hardly had to call them at all.

I haven't had much experience dating white men to comment on how they react.

Mind you, this was 20 years ago, so I'm sure men do things differently, although I don't think they should.

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

I wish I knew the experience of the white man trying to chat I have only had experience with black men and none have been the way it should be..but I hope one day to fix whatever its about me in order to attract other races to my playground.

 

[Amcd]

I wish I knew the experience of the white man trying to chat I have only had experience with black men and none have been the way it should be..but I hope one day to fix whatever its about me in order to attract other races to my playground.

What does that mean? You think something is broken about you if you don't attract other races to you???

 

[Charlie555]

I don't have much experience dating white guys but the black guys I have given my number to always called right away to plan dates or chitchat.


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[Triniwegian]

I don't think color has anything to do with it, I think it all boils down to how interested they are.

ETA: You are not missing out on something that you don't want.. Just because you might be a good catch for one person doesn't mean all men will find you desirable.

 

[Rastafarai]

Okay first let me start off by saying that this is NOT a black-man-bashing, white-men-are-the-answer threads. This is just my simple observation.

But it is, especially when you compare them to white men and worse yet, generalize the bunch just based on your limited (yes limited) experience with a few black men.

I personally have observed and experienced differently with "the brothas" I've dated.

 

[Detroit2Dallas]

Glib, just say you feel more attractive to and appreciated by white men instead of trying to persuade us into thinking white men are casanovas and black men are lazy playas. And while your thinking that white men are better think about this, they may wine an ddine you quicker, they may make you feel like your truly something special but how many will take you home? how many are just trying to have a chocolate experience. Their are a lot of multicolored blacks walking around this country due to the sexual fetishes white men had for black women. Please dont think that all these white men are above it. Juat like racism is passed down from generation to generation, so were these sexual fantasies. Stop playin ya self Glib and I'm not just talking about this thread

 

[lushcoils]

But how many white mens actually have the courage to ask a sista for her number?
Maybe that's why your stats are the way they seem.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

Is this thread satirical?? Black men are the most forward don't waste a millisecond kinda men I ever deal with bar none! Same for all my girlfriends, aren't brothas notorious for their no-nonsense approach? If I give them my number they call me that instant to make sure I'm not giving them a fake number then look in my eyes and say "now you have my number too" and I'll usually get a call the same night or the next day at the latest. I'm dating a brotha right now and he got my number summer 2010 we have spoken consistently and the first time I ever called him was tonight.

When a brotha is feelin you, you'll know it from hello, because he will be like hello my name is ___ you're (sexy, beautiful etc) and I think we should go out sometime. Brotha's don't beat around the bush. If done in a polite way, which it often is in my experience, I very much like it.

I don't really date American white men, I tend to attract European/International white men, and they're just as forward if not a bit moreso bordering on smothering sometimes but they're great too.

My top two types are black and white men and I find them to be just as forward in their approach, heck an Indian man was extra forward with me the other day, its a universal male trait, there are men like that in every race IMO.

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[Dposh167]

i've experienced bm calling right away. You really can't put a color on this. Sometimes it depends on the guy and if he's really feeling you...or how he personally feels about calling a girl right away. I mean that's pretty much it.

 

[SuchMagnificent]

I will agree with this observation..When I was doing the online dating, the white men had no problem with telling me how beautiful I was or how much they were interested in getting to know me.. They were forthcoming in asking for my #..I chatted with with a handsome black guy for about an hour and he never asked for my # and he initiated contact..
I had a brotha ask me for my # in the club and he didnt call me until 2 weeks later..I didnt know who he was and the fact that he waited that long was an instant turn off..I never returned his phone call.
It is rather weird..I love Black men though, I just wish the process wasnt so complicated.

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

What does that mean? You think something is broken about you if you don't attract other races to you???

Yes to a degree,there is a type I would really like to attract from any race but I haven't yet mastered that.I love the intellctual type,the go getter if you will however I haven't attracted that type therefore I have alot of work to do in order to get there..

 

[Jas123]

I think all experiences are different.

As far as I remember, when I dated, all the Black men that received my number called me right away, and quite often--meaning I hardly had to call them at all.

I haven't had much experience dating white men to comment on how they react.

Mind you, this was 20 years ago, so I'm sure men do things differently, although I don't think they should.

me too... i've never encountered this problem... shoot 1 guy even called me the same night we met... while we still both @ the club to make i gave him my real ph#... can we say creepy

 

[kibbles318]

Is this thread satirical?? Black men are the most forward don't waste a millisecond kinda men I ever deal with bar none! Same for all my girlfriends, aren't brothas notorious for their no-nonsense approach? If I give them my number they call me that instant to make sure I'm not giving them a fake number then look in my eyes and say "now you have my number too" and I'll usually get a call the same night or the next day at the latest. I'm dating a brotha right now and he got my number summer 2010 we have spoken consistently and the first time I ever called him was tonight.

When a brotha is feelin you, you'll know it from hello, because he will be like hello my name is ___ you're (sexy, beautiful etc) and I think we should go out sometime. Brotha's don't beat around the bush. If done in a polite way, which it often is in my experience, I very much like it.

I don't really date American white men, I tend to attract European/International white men, and they're just as forward if not a bit moreso bordering on smothering sometimes but they're great too.

My top two types are black and white men and I find them to be just as forward in their approach, heck an Indian man was extra forward with me the other day, its a universal male trait, there are men like that in every race IMO.

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ITA... My SO called me within hours of meeting. Before, him I always got a call right away. I'll be honest though... In my younger days I thought it was annoying, lol. But somewhere I had a change of heart.

 

[Amcd]

Yes to a degree,there is a type I would really like to attract from any race but I haven't yet mastered that.I love the intellctual type,the go getter if you will however I haven't attracted that type therefore I have alot of work to do in order to get there..

That is a little different from what you said before, but thanks for explaining that to me.

 

[ThickHair]

I think if a guy is really feeling your, regardless of color they will call right away.

 

[Naveah2050]

I think this is just your experience! I find blackman at times wayyyyy too foward. Conversely I think yt guys are at times scared to approach me and tend to try and get at me using subtle ways and in the beginning text a lot (which I find offputting).

I think its *interesting* that you insinuated that black guys dont call immediately because they are playing games or on the lookout for better - if this is your attitude to black men perhaps you're the one who is missing out on all the good blk guys out there that arent playing games. I think its a shame that black women feel so unwanted by their own men that we rush to fetishize and hold in reverence men of other races JUST because they show the slightest modicum of interest.

 

[qchelle]

If they don't call, they don't want you; hence, they're not missing out.

 

[Love Always]

Who you telling, I met a brotha that was pretty forward while I was crossing the street! He honked his horn and I just waved and while I was crossing the street I thought he was going to run me over trying to get to me . He didn't waste no time asking for my number, blocking traffic and all!

Is this thread satirical?? Black men are the most forward don't waste a millisecond kinda men I ever deal with bar none!

 

[vevster]

Uhhhh, I don't hear the brothers complaining about missing out on a good thing.

The issue is that there is too much of a good thing around.

 

[Glib Gurl]

the black guys I have given my number to always called right away to plan dates or chitchat.

I don't think color has anything to do with it, I think it all boils down to how interested they are.

ETA: You are not missing out on something that you don't want.. Just because you might be a good catch for one person doesn't mean all men will find you desirable.

I personally have observed and experienced differently with "the brothas" I've dated.

i've experienced bm calling right away. You really can't put a color on this. Sometimes it depends on the guy and if he's really feeling you...or how he personally feels about calling a girl right away. I mean that's pretty much it.

I think if a guy is really feeling your, regardless of color they will call right away.

If they don't call, they don't want you; hence, they're not missing out.

Uhhhh, I don't hear the brothers complaining about missing out on a good thing.

The issue is that there is too much of a good thing around.

Alright fine . . .the brothas are missing out on ME . . . they just don't know it

Stop playin ya self Glib and I'm not just talking about this thread

I can't help it . . . apparently, it's what I do . . .

*shrug*

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Y'all going hard on OP. She stated in her first post that this was based on her experience and that she had come to a general conclusion. Re-stating that is just being a Captain Obvious.

With that said, I can believe both sides of the fence. It could be a regional thing too. I know brothas who play it real cool (in my experience) but I can accept that things have been different for other women, with other races, in other regions.

 

[WhipEffectz1]

They call rather quick. Might have been some *** holes Glib. Dust yourself off and try again. If you are coming into contact with some of these men, don't worry about it. That's how I think. They missing out on this baby. That's just how confident I am. Nothing wrong with that. Best of luck to you.

 

[God_Favor]

I respect your experience. Maybe you just are more attracted to other races.

Have you in more ir relationships? If so , I definintly understand your viewpoint.


How was your last date with a black man vs your last with other race. Can't wait to hear!



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[TrueToHair]

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[CurlyMoo]

Okay first let me start off by saying that this is NOT a black-man-bashing, white-men-are-the-answer threads. This is just my simple observation.

Anyways, I notice that black and white men seem to approach sisters differently. In general (yes, general - as in, generalization ) it seems to me that if both a brotha and white dude as for a sister's number, the white guy will call her up right away and ask her out for a date. Meanwhile, the brotha lets the number sit around a while, whether he's trying to play games or just on the lookout for "something better" around the corner. Meanwhile, the white dude is sweeping sistergurl off her feet - going out of his way to express his feelings.

I don't know. Maybe this is just my experience . . .but something tells me that the brothas are missing out on a good thing but are too busy trying to play the odds to realize it.

Actually my experience is just the opposite. The Black dude wants the date the same day I gave the number. Meanwhile I wonder if I ever gave the White dude my number at all he waits so long to call.

 

[CarmelCupcake]

Yea, some people are being kinda mean. I think people should stop and think about how they would feel if someone told them the same words that they are typing. Glib just simply stated her experiences. There was no need to make her feel bad.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I think this is just your experience! I find blackman at times wayyyyy too foward. Conversely I think yt guys are at times scared to approach me and tend to try and get at me using subtle ways and in the beginning text a lot (which I find offputting).

I think its *interesting* that you insinuated that black guys dont call immediately because they are playing games or on the lookout for better - if this is your attitude to black men perhaps you're the one who is missing out on all the good blk guys out there that arent playing games. I think its a shame that black women feel so unwanted by their own men that we rush to fetishize and hold in reverence men of other races JUST because they show the slightest modicum of interest.

I agree with your whole post, but the part in bold.... I'm not even really surprised sad to say.

When all you see & hear in the media is black men bashing black women or wanting to date ANYTHING (yea, I said anything ) other than a black woman, it really does make you wonder. I'm not even surprised that SOME black women sometimes feel unwanted by black men in general...especially in THIS generation.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I know one thing, you get with some African men...you will NOT be wondering about them calling you okaaaay?? African men are some of the most FORWARD men I know!