Black Open Marriage Couple

[LdyKamz]

Yeah I watched it and best friend/lover said she was making it sound one sided when in fact, she was telling this fool that she wanted to have both their babies and ish. That's the kind of miscommunication that will get somebody killed. She wasn't trying to have cake and eat it too....home girl wanted cake and pie!

Girl! When she started to back peddle and was like "I have to be careful with my words" I cracked up. She knew she was wrong for that. Getting caught up in the moment. I was wondering when it was going to come up because his face in the session when the wife coach said something like "he has to understand i see you twice a week for an hour" his face dropped and I cracked up then too! Because it was already obvious he thinks the relationship is something else. Hopefully they iron out the kinks because that can cause some serious problems.

 

[Evolving78]

Common sense would say, sleeping with other people than your spouse would cause issues but there they are anyway

I'm just trying to understand what the spouse is providing that the others can't. Why not just be single? Why stay married and are they still "in love" while dating other people?

the spouse is somebody you share a life with, the girlfriend/boyfriend is someone you have fun with.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

the spouse is somebody you share a life with, the girlfriend/boyfriend is someone you have fun with.

I swear I'm not slow or being facetious... I just don't get the point of having a spouse I can't have fun with? Maybe I'm expecting too much from a spouse cause I realize that "real life" gets serious and "every day life" can get boring but dang, it sounds so business-like and dry.

Like I'm marrying so we can be a power couple, same interests and goals, benefits of a marriage but when I want to be happy, I got someone else for that so don't worry. And you, you're a good F and all but I'd never introduce you to mom. You would never be good enough to wife me.

 

[Ganjababy]

I thought this would be something hilarious to watch with DH and he got angry watching it and told me to turn the **** off lol.

 

[LdyKamz]

I swear I'm not slow or being facetious... I just don't get the point of having a spouse I can't have fun with? Maybe I'm expecting too much from a spouse cause I realize that "real life" gets serious and "every day life" can get boring but dang, it sounds so business-like and dry.

Like I'm marrying so we can be a power couple, same interests and goals, benefits of a marriage but when I want to be happy, I got someone else for that so don't worry. And you, you're a good F and all but I'd never introduce you to mom. You would never be good enough to wife me.

I don't think it's as cut and dry as "you build a life with a spouse and have fun with the boyfriend/girlfriend". I don't think people who do this separate it like that either. They simply want to be able to act on their sexual desires with other people. I do think the time with the boyfriend/girlfriend/lover is supposed to be carefree but what's harder to grasp is that these people are not just crazy sex mongers. They are real people with real feelings and can genuinely care about their lover while having a husband/wife.

I once had a conversation with an ex who was telling me that he really messed up with me and wanted to come back. I told him to find someone else and leave me alone. He said he already found someone else and he loved her but there are so many people in the world that it's impossible to avoid being in love with more than one person at some point in your life. Now he was just running game and I blocked him but what he said made me think. Think about the connections you have with people. People of the opposite sex that you get along with, that you find attractive, that you have a good time with and can count on. That you spend quite a bit of time with. A work friend, or someone you see regularly during a hobby you enjoy or even a childhood friend. Say you're married. Generally speaking, most people will eventually stay away from the person to avoid being tempted, ignore those feelings or not realize they have them at all (which appears to be the most dangerous). Now let's say you were given the ok to sleep with the person. Since you know this person, it isn't just sex. It's more than that but can never be what you have with your husband. It's just...something else.

I find it very interesting. I, myself, am not interested in the lifestyle but when I was younger I used to think I always wanted more than one partner and how I would explain that to the person I was with. I ended up chalking that up to not being ready to settle down with one person and just wanting to date around which isn't the same. But because of that I've always tried to be open minded when it came to this. But for some reason the ones that are most vocal about open relationships aren't really in "traditional" open relationship but have a partner that refuses to be faithful to them so they call the relationship open to make themselves feel better.

Sorry for the long post but I'm home on a Saturday night and I ain't got nothing else to do.

 

[movingforward]

Yes they had a blog, there was lots of drama and mess on it. Very entertaining read. They were honest about it in the video though. I did notice that they were more passionate and affectionate with their other lovers than they were with each other.

I thought the same exact thing. I think when their poly relationship started the wife was very much in love with her husband and wasnt willing to lose him. After some years of pain and hurt that she still loves him, but they are together for the kids and their business.

I foresee a divorce on the horizon.

Im wondering if the husband pays for all of his dates. Also, does he give money to the girlfriend with the 6 kids. I really do wonder about their finances.

 

[movingforward]

I don't believe them. She seems to be trying too hard to convince people that she's happy...? Also, her not knowing how many sexual partners she has....nah. And what happens if one of them isn't seeing another person and the other is? What if the side pieces want more?

Agree with your entire statement. She is only doing this to keep her husband. I think she has slept with a few men and dont date often. THe statement she made in the film that she will drive 50 miles for her husband and he looked at her like WHY!

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

So one of my HS classmates who has a PhD in sexuality and got into a fight with another of our HS classmates about marriage not being necessary (this woman has 2 kids OOW), was promoting this on her FB page as an alternative form of love and marriage. She's a sex therapist. I mean I guess, if they're happy and not settling but it couldn't be me.

 

[BlackRinse]

I'm only 4 mins in, enjoying it so far. Her daughter is gorgeous.

 

[FemmeCreole]

I started a thread on them a few years ago, it was from their early days of blogging. They pop up every few years, the last I saw them they were on Dr. Phil.

I think this documentary is a more positive spin on their open relationship.

Interesting. I need to come back to watch it.

 

[caligirl]

1. Love for a lover is a different love than familial love.

2. If you want a fun, carefree relationship, I just don't get being married at all. Just hire a caretaker if you are worried about getting old alone. There's an increasing community of singles at every age.

3. And I was thinking moreso from the woman's perspective. She could be a single parent (custodial or non-custodial) with multiple lovers and not have to take on the burden of a spouse since marriage usually shortens a woman's life span.

Yeah I call BS. I'm not marrying someone just so that they can take care of me when I'm old. I want them to be faithful

 

[momi]

I don't believe them. She seems to be trying too hard to convince people that she's happy...? Also, her not knowing how many sexual partners she has....nah. And what happens if one of them isn't seeing another person and the other is? What if the side pieces want more?

This is some nonsense and I feel sorry for the children. What type of stability does this provide for them?


I'm sorry I don't believe either of two. The male seems to have agreed to the situation because he really wanted to step out, but doesn't seem to be 100% on board with the wife and her side situations. Also I don't believe her excitement for the arrangement is genuine - I suspect if the "husband' decided tomorrow to abandon the poly lifestyle she would in a heartbeat. I will give her credit for not sitting home looking depressed while her man is out here in the streets sleeping around - at least she is free to do what she wants as well... I guess.

Also - I couldn't imagine being married to someone that was fine with me sleeping with other men. He is basically saying you have no true value and there is nothing special about you.

Nope.

 

[momi]

See in the video when they talked about how they decided to be open and the husband talked about his jealousy when she started taking lovers...I was like this relationship is strange. He goes on to say he's heard of men being with other people but at the time he hadn't really heard about women being with other people. That told me they didn't really understand what having a open relationship meant (at the time) All they knew was he was going to keep cheating so she was going to figure out how to deal with that. In that case I don't think the jealousy is manageable which is why the wife behaves that way.

Again drawing comparison to the white couple - there is jealousy there on the boyfriend's part but it seems more because he hasn't found a lover yet and his girlfriend's lover just so happens to be a friend of his. Also, he kind of expected her to take it slow while he jumped in the deep end and it ended up being the other way around so that probably adds to his jealousy. I think once they find their footing there won't be much jealousy on their part. Because he seemed a little more comfortable at the second session when he mentioned going camping and spending time with another woman. The only thing they may have to manage is their lovers catching feelings because the best friend/lover seems like he wants the girl all to himself and is confused about what kind of relationship he has with her.

Yeah but she had a problem with him seeing other women. She wants to be the only one who can cheat.