Big LDR step

[fashion87]

Would you move to be with your S/O, after you've been together for 5+ yrs and planned to get married later in the year?? S/O is in the military and really wants me to move in with him, even though I want to be with him I'm having trouble saying anything but yes erplexed. I have no idea why either, I think im just scared because its the biggest change in my life since I graduated college. Someone give me a swift kick in the pants plz!!!! Thanks for reading my rant, lol.

SN we've been together since freshman yr of college, and I'm now 23 going on 24 in July.

 

[CarolinaGal]

Is it possible to get the ring, set the wedding date, arrange for premarital counseling, and secure employment before the move? That way, when you move, you have a plan of action and you two have put things in place to successfully start your lives together. You mentioned that your SO is in the military so maybe he can link you up with one of the networks that helps military spouses transition into the military lifestyle. Good luck to you and your honey! Be blessed and please let your SO know that we appreciate his unselfish service!

Keep us posted!

 

[fashion87]

Is it possible to get the ring, set the wedding date, arrange for premarital counseling, and secure employment before the move? That way, when you move, you have a plan of action and you two have put things in place to successfully start your lives together. You mentioned that your SO is in the military so maybe he can link you up with one of the networks that helps military spouses transition into the military lifestyle. Good luck to you and your honey! Be blessed and please let your SO know that we appreciate his unselfish service!

Keep us posted!

Thanks CarolinaGal, the bolded is what i'm mostly worried about. I've check out jobs in the small military town and they aren't looking up to par in my opinion, that's where the real problem comes in because I don't want to be fully dependent on anyone. Nor do I want to be a stay at home wife.

 

[natural in ATL]

Are you engaged? I would not move without that level of commitment - a ring and an actual proposal is much different than saying "let's plan to get married".

 

[ThickHair]

I am in a LDR and I will move once we are married. No if's, and's or but's about it. I am not even putting my house up for sale until we are married. I love him, he loves me and we know we are getting married but nothing is final until it has happened. I am not one for shacking up and an engagement FOR ME isn't GOOD ENOUGH. Thankfully, FH completely understands and doesn't take issue with anything. A ring and a date means nothing if the marriage doesn't take place.

All of the above, I am doing for me, because that is what is good for me. Other's may differ.

 

[fashion87]

Thanks for responding ya'll. I can see everything from your guys point of view, and no ring yet.

 

[SUPER SWEET]

Make sure you have a PLAN B if things don't go as planned. That's with ANY relationship.....just don't be left with NO WAY out or place to go in times of crisis (break up, fire or illness). Find a friend,church or have acess to cash for emergencies.

 

[DrC]

My SO is in the military. And we' re in an almost similar situation as you and your SO.

He is leaving somewhere in the summer and they want to send him off for a year or two. Right now its all in the air, but I made the choice I would stay here and finish school trying to get myself together and he is okay with that. There is no pressure involved. IMHO, I hate being away from him for too long. Not saying that we are going to just pop up and be married because we are apart but I have to live my life as well as he has to, I guess its one of those things where he has to understand and accept what is comfortable for you and like the posters said before make sure you have a plan B because a mans "Word" of marriage is not promising sometimes.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

I will not move in with a man until I am his wife. Engagement with a set date/place means we can plan for our life together i.e. where we'll live, go house shopping etc. but I'm not going anywhere until that ring is on my finger.

 

[fashion87]

Thanks for responding ladies,
There is no question about marriage, but military life really puts a new spin on things I haven't thought about until today. I have really found a new respect for military spouses, because I'm not even married and this is hard. Thinking about deployments, or moving to another post etc. I'm a complete worry wart so I've already thought about every single thing that can possibly go wrong and its overwhelming.