Bi-racial hair care

P

Ponytaildiva

New Member
My step-daughter is bi-racial, her mother is Caucasian and her father is African American. She just turned 14 and is hating her very tight curly hair. When her hair is wet, it is perfect, the curls hang loose and are beautiful. When it dries, :eek: it is a frizzy mess and she hates it. She is asking to have it permed straight, but I just do not want to put perm straightener on it yet and it would cost a fortune to have it done and maintain it.

We have tried a million products on the market that claim to take out friz and loosen the curls, but nothing has worked. We would appreciate any suggestions.

Thanks for your help
 
Michellehall said:
My step-daughter is bi-racial, her mother is Caucasian and her father is African American. She just turned 14 and is hating her very tight curly hair. When her hair is wet, it is perfect, the curls hang loose and are beautiful. When it dries, :eek: it is a frizzy mess and she hates it. She is asking to have it permed straight, but I just do not want to put perm straightener on it yet and it would cost a fortune to have it done and maintain it.

We have tried a million products on the market that claim to take out friz and loosen the curls, but nothing has worked. We would appreciate any suggestions.

Thanks for your help
Click to expand...

It may not be the products, it may be your hair care methods/techniques. I don't know a lot about how to dry curly hair, but I've seen people use diffusers, twists-outs and braid-outs, and rollersets to smooth their curls. Good luck!
 
I am cosigning on the techniques. Some of my friends that the hair that you describe dry their hair with a diffuser and just use some curl relaxing balm mixed with a dollap of leave-in conditioner. Curly hair doesn't like to me manipulated too mush when it it wet, that helps promote frizz. As far as products and what not, you should make sure that the shampoo and conditioner you use are very moisturizing so that it helps control frizz. Curl relaxing lines like do help but the benefit is really seen in conjuction with stlying techniques. All styling products should be applied to sopping wet hair as well to make sure that you are smoothing the cuticles to prevent frizz. No rough towel drying, try using a old t-shirt instead since it is more gentle. Check out ouidad products and info. They offer great advice on how to tame and control curly hair.

As far as product lines, which have you tried? Matrix makes lines like curl smart, and sleek look that are designed for curly hair. The sleek look might be more of her speed but they are very moisturizing. http://www.matrix.com/products/sleek_look/ You can style hair straighter without doing as much damage with these products. Paul mitchell super skinny also helps smooth hair and come with a great serum. Also teach her that if straighter styles are what she desires, then she will have to deep condition on a regular basis as well as maintaining protien treatments to keep her hair strong. How about trying a blowout to help acheive the "relaxed" look with out killing the versatility of her curls. Alot of magazines have blowout one on one guides to help you get started. How about you try doing to a salon like maybe a jcpennys or regis and have them wash a dry her hair. Tell them the looks she is trying to achieve and ask for their advice on how to accomplish it. They can show you how to manipulate a diffuser or do a blowout.
 
Jessie's Curl website provides illustrated explanations of how to achieve curly styles. My hair is more loosely curled than that of some of the models, so the results are also looser. I don't use the products on the site - I mix ICE hair gel, Profectiv anti-breakage and a few drops of castor oil for my twist out, cover with satin bonnet, sleep on it and I'm good to go the next morning.

Other than that, looking after relaxed can be too much work for an active 14 year old. She'll have to learn how to roller set (least damaging) or blow dry (very damaging) in order to keep her hair looking nice. She won't be able to walk in the rain or snow w/o covering her head. Sweating will pose a problem too. Then there are the touch ups and potential for scalp burns not to mention the expense. I would recommend letting her go that route only if she is willing to invest her allowance for the upkeep and her time to learn proper care of relaxed hair.

If I may make another suggestion, don't use negative expressions like "frizzy mess" to describe her hair. At some point - sooner rather than later - your stepdaughter will have to learn to accept her hair as it is.

If I sound pedantic, please forgive me and feel free to ignore all of the above; good luck whatever you decide. ;)
 
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Has she tried banding her hair after washing it? This can help stretch the hair, loosen the curl, ect... I do it whenever I want a straighter look without using heat. Pokahontas has a thread explaining how to do it.
 
I understand...this hairtype is harder to deal with than what people may think. My niece has this type of hair. But she is so young that she can wear pigtails and braids everyday. But for your stepdaughter, have u tried frizz-ease products? they worked really well for my niece. A good technique is to apply the product to sopping wet hair...do not towel dry. the weight of the wet hair will make the hair dry while the hair is somewhat stretched out. and do the 'shingling' method. like apply a generous amount to each section of the hair. and she can either air dry. or sit under a dryer for fast drying. and if you EVER EVER EVER decide that a relaxer is for her.... then i'd suggest Phyto Index 1. It is so very gentle. If u take her to a salon...I would suggest that you be very careful with whom you select... I'd hate for u to go to anyone and they not care or not know any better, and throw something harsh in her hair and ruin it...
 
Michellehall said:
My step-daughter is bi-racial, her mother is Caucasian and her father is African American. She just turned 14 and is hating her very tight curly hair. When her hair is wet, it is perfect, the curls hang loose and are beautiful. When it dries, :eek: it is a frizzy mess and she hates it. She is asking to have it permed straight, but I just do not want to put perm straightener on it yet and it would cost a fortune to have it done and maintain it.

We have tried a million products on the market that claim to take out friz and loosen the curls, but nothing has worked. We would appreciate any suggestions.

Thanks for your help
Click to expand...

I don't mean to be rude but its obvious that your daughter isn't interested learning about or working with her curly hair, why not just let her straighten it as she wishes?

At 14 she is probably responsible enough to learn what how to maintain it. If she has a job or earns money from chores she can probably chip in for some of those costs herself.
 
Miss*Tress said:
Jessie's Curl website provides illustrated explanations of how to achieve curly styles. My hair is more loosely curled than that of some of the models, so the results are also looser. I don't use the products on the site - I mix ICE hair gel, Profectiv anti-breakage and a few drops of castor oil for my twist out, cover with satin bonnet, sleep on it and I'm good to go the next morning.

Other than that, looking after relaxed can be too much work for an active 14 year old. She'll have to learn how to roller set (least damaging) or blow dry (very damaging) in order to keep her hair looking nice. She won't be able to walk in the rain or snow w/o covering her head. Sweating will pose a problem too. Then there are the touch ups and potential for scalp burns not to mention the expense. I would recommend letting her go that route only if she is willing to invest her allowance for the upkeep and her time to learn proper care of relaxed hair.

If I may make another suggestion, don't use negative expressions like "frizzy mess" to describe her hair. At some point - sooner rather than later - your stepdaughter will have to learn to accept her hair as it is.

If I sound pedantic, please forgive me and feel free to ignore all of the above; good luck whatever you decide. ;)
Click to expand...

Thanks so much, this is all great! Someone else advised me to try profectiv hair products mixed with almond oil.

The term "frizzy mess" is how she discribes her hair. You are correct, I guess I have bought in on it too. But really, I love her curls, but they make her very unhappy and that troubles me. She really hates her hair.
 
Aalize said:
I don't mean to be rude but its obvious that your daughter isn't interested learning about or working with her curly hair, why not just let her straighten it as she wishes?

At 14 she is probably responsible enough to learn what how to maintain it. If she has a job or earns money from chores she can probably chip in for some of those costs herself.
Click to expand...

JC Pennys wants $600 to straighten her hair and $200 every 6 to 9 weeks to maintain it. Other quotes have been very similar. Way out of my ball game. Otherwise, I think I would let her straighten it.
 
Try the frizz ease products and have her twist or plait it at night so when the plaits or twists are released, she' have nice waves. Basically a twist out or a braid out.

I hope she grows to love the beauty of her hair ;) Good luck!
 
Michellehall said:
JC Pennys wants $600 to straighten her hair and $200 every 6 to 9 weeks to maintain it. Other quotes have been very similar. Way out of my ball game. Otherwise, I think I would let her straighten it.
Click to expand...

WOW!:eek:
Do you guys not have any stand alone black hair salons near you? Typically they are using the SAME relaxing systems at JC Penny and charging WAY more... A stand alone stylist or a shops that are frequented by black women tend to charge between $40-70 for relaxers. Possibly more for the first relaxer on virgin hair, but definately not $600!

Where do you guys live?

ETA: the above are averages based on regular salons in my area. Of course there are upscale salons that charge a bit more.
 
Michellehall said:
She really hates her hair.
Click to expand...
I hate to say it, but it sounds so obvious from your post.

There's a thread from yesterday or today featuring members' celebrity hair idols. Women like Amel Larrieux and Joy Denalane with gorgeous "frizzy" curls are featured. Perhaps if your stepdaughter sees more images like those, she could start to view her hair in a more positive light.

Here's my favorite: Denny Mendez, former Miss Italy. (Click attachment to enlarge.)
 

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Michellehall said:
JC Pennys wants $600 to straighten her hair and $200 every 6 to 9 weeks to maintain it. Other quotes have been very similar. Way out of my ball game. Otherwise, I think I would let her straighten it.
Click to expand...

OMG **faints** :eek:

Another suggestion would be to invest in the MaxiGlide...at the prices JCPenny wants that MaxiGlide will pay for itself quickly.
 
Michellehall said:
JC Pennys wants $600 to straighten her hair and $200 every 6 to 9 weeks to maintain it. Other quotes have been very similar. Way out of my ball game. Otherwise, I think I would let her straighten it.
Click to expand...

$600 to straighten/$200 to maintain - those prices sound like the Japanese straightening system, not just your regular relaxer.
 
JLove74 said:
$600 to straighten/$200 to maintain - those prices sound like the Japanese straightening system, not just your regular relaxer.
Click to expand...

How do they straighten hair? :confused:
 
Miss*Tress said:
I hate to say it, but it sounds so obvious from your post.

There's a thread from yesterday or today featuring members' celebrity hair idols. Women like Amel Larrieux and Joy Denalane with gorgeous "frizzy" curls are featured. Perhaps if your stepdaughter sees more images like those, she could start to view her hair in a more positive light.

Here's my favorite: Denny Mendez, former Miss Italy. (Click attachment to enlarge.)
Click to expand...


I wish I had someone show me gorgeous women who loved their curls when I was that age. I am biracial like your step daughter and I also hated my hair as a teenager.I didn't know what to do with it, what products to use... Until I accepted that curly hair could be just as beautiful as straight hair, I had a really bad time with it. One of the best things you and her father can do for her is to re enforce how lovely her hair is just as it grows from her head. She will thank you when she's older.
 
camellia said:
Has she tried banding her hair after washing it? This can help stretch the hair, loosen the curl, ect... I do it whenever I want a straighter look without using heat. Pokahontas has a thread explaining how to do it.
Click to expand...

This is a great recommendation. I am not bi-racial, but my hair behaves similarly to what you is described. Banding is my friend and done on damp hair allows some length and prevents a lot of the frizzies. Air drying about 80-90% of the way in a braid is also very helpful.

A couple of other things that I find helps is not using heavy leave ins. Lighter works better for me when I'm air drying into a curly style and I add a few drops of oil. A light silicone anti-frizz serum helps and a little goes a long way.

Touching my loose hair when it's in it's curly state is a no-no. It frizzes in no time flat. Also, almost nothing keeps my hair frizz free when it's humid.
 
JLove74 said:
$600 to straighten/$200 to maintain - those prices sound like the Japanese straightening system, not just your regular relaxer.
Click to expand...


I agree. there are a lot of less expensive ways to remove (or loosen) the curl. If you don't want to go with a regular relaxer, I know redken and paul mitchell also have products that remove curl.
 
Banding is the way to go! U described rouGhly 25 of my first cousins (THERE ARE 56 OF US :eek: )...We band like a religion!!! Here's our routine:
  • Detangle and make 4 twists (the more hair the less twist for less curlz)
  • Wash (poo or no) while in the twists (I take mine out and actually detangle under the shower spray one twist at a time)
  • Untwist each and apply product(s) - i use a lite oil mix for the scalp, s-curl or shea for moisture and seal with a lil evoo
  • Make sure you retwist with a firm (not tight) hand
  • After each full twist is done - go back with ouchless (soaked in evoo) pony holders and place them down the twist at intervals firm (not tight) BE SURE TO TWIST HAIR IN DIRECTION she plans to wear her hair
  • Tie up with silk scarf
  • MAKE SURE HAIR IS COMPLETLY DRY BEFORE UNTWISTING otherwise she will still have the frizz and VERY LITTLE MANIPULATION (combing). Combs + Curlz = FRIZZ!!!
At nite the lil cuz's usually moisturize and retwist the scarf it...Hope that helpz - Sorry itz so long. Toodlez!!!
 
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camellia said:
I wish I had someone show me gorgeous women who loved their curls when I was that age. I am biracial like your step daughter and I also hated my hair as a teenager.I didn't know what to do with it, what products to use... Until I accepted that curly hair could be just as beautiful as straight hair, I had a really bad time with it. One of the best things you and her father can do for her is to re enforce how lovely her hair is just as it grows from her head. She will thank you when she's older.
Click to expand...


I agree with camellia and the others. Giving her positive inspirations will motivate her to love herself. We all need this, believe me. My daughter went through this and she is nine. I let her do a modeling show and she was able to see all of the cute spiral curlies and even the kinkies, so that she could appreciate her hair more. She still cries when I detangle it.

I find that when her (and my) hair is freshly washed or CO washed, it is shiniest and softest and it has the least frizz. Does she CO rinse daily or every other day. I know this is easier when it is warm outside.

Have her CO wash every night well before bed (at least an hour). Try the banding technique or even a braidout. I LOVE braidouts on my daughers curly hair. Just have her do only 4-5 large braids and make sure to use a good moisturizing curl cream like Crul keeper or Miss Jessie's. In the morning, she should unravel the braids and only manipulate with the fingers. If needed, she can use a diffuser/blowdryer to dry the hair without brushing or combing.
 
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