Being angry and getting over it.

[yokoyokogirl]

I've been mad at my husband for an argument we had like 2 wks ago. Even tho he apologized, he said a lot of mean things when he was mad and most of them have stuck in my head.

Basically we eat dinner, watch tv and live life--but I'm still pissed off. I know you are supposed to forgive and forget, but I'm still mad. And not sure how to bring myself to not be. How do you get over being angry, forget what someone said or did when they were mad and move on?

 

[metro_qt]

First, figure out if you're mad or hurt.
Anger doesn't usually stay that long, it's the other feelings underneath that do.

The mean things. Were they warranted?
If they weren't, then he owes you a BIG apology.
If they were, then change things.

You all need to talk regardless, and when you feel some semblance of closure, or resolution is when you'll start getting over it, and not being so mad.

It must really suck to see his face every day, all normal, not thinking about what happened weeks ago, while you're still dwelling on it.. i know that would make me even angrier.. like "doesn't this bother you too?!?!?!?"

 

[Nix08]

This use to be me and my only advice (so long his word are not the norm) is "fake it till you make it" Thinking about the words/argument causes you to re-live it and with that comes all of the emotions and then some.

 

[ms.mimi]

You heard of men doing "hug it out *****"? You need to talk it out, cause your still have doubts, questions, etc....

 

[Windsy]

I say let him know exactly what hurt you and you all talk about it.

If you are still angry then there are unresolved issues there....just let him know how you feel and exactly what he said that cause you to still be angry.

 

[Cichelle]

My husband and I rarely argue. But if something happens between us that hurts or angers me, I get my thoughts together and then talk to him about it. If he were to just say he was sorry, but I didn't tell him my own thoughts about it and exactly how it hurt or upset me, it wouldn't help. I need to have my feelings validated/understood for me to feel better.

You still have things on your mind. Get your thoughts in order and have a conversation with your husband. That doesn't mean yelling at him. It means having a calm conversation. I don't know what he said to you, but "I'm sorry" just does not fix everything just like that. Apologizing is only a part of working things through, IMO.

 

[MD_Lady]

I say let him know exactly what hurt you and you all talk about it.

If you are still angry then there are unresolved issues there....just let him know how you feel and exactly what he said that cause you to still be angry.

My husband and I rarely argue. But if something happens between us that hurts or angers me, I get my thoughts together and then talk to him about it. If he were to just say he was sorry, but I didn't tell him my own thoughts about it and exactly how it hurt or upset me, it wouldn't help. I need to have my feelings validated/understood for me to feel better.

You still have things on your mind. Get your thoughts in order and have a conversation with your husband. That doesn't mean yelling at him. It means having a calm conversation. I don't know what he said to you, but "I'm sorry" just does not fix everything just like that. Apologizing is only a part of working things through, IMO.

What they said.