curlcomplexity
formerly qtslim83
I've had a crush on this man for a very long time...and apparently the feeling was mutual. We both entered separate relationships throughout the years only to be reunited by fate (my best friend used to work with him and tried to set me up on a blind date only to find out that he knew me from college). We connected so well, but at the time he had just gotten out of a long term relationship and just wanted to be friends and "revel in the journey". He also wanted to date other people. Although it hurt a little, I appreciated his honesty and since he was dating other people, I did too (I asked him about it first and he was cool). While dating others I met my now ex and because I entered a relationship I stopped talking to the crush...at the time, I felt no need to have to break off anything because there was nothing to break off.
....fast forward a year and my ex and I break up. I go out with my friends and as luck would have it, I ran back into the crush. We spoke on the phone afterwards and he was hurt that I stopped talking to him without an explanation (once again, since all he wanted was to be friends with me and he was dating other people...I didn't think I needed to explain anything). We rekindled things for about a month and they were great (nothing physical btw), but of course my ex found out and tried to ruin it with lies. I decided that it was best for me not to open one door without completely closing the other one and called it off. Of course, the crush was upset...I called about a month after breaking it off and apologized. He forgave me.
...not a day has gone by since then that I have not thought about the crush. Everyday, I mentally kick myself for not having the courage to completely walk away from my ex and start anew. I hadn't spoken to the crush since last November so when he texted me out of the blue (ironically, as I was praying about the situation) I was elated!
We have spoken a few times since then. I asked him the other day if he would ever consider trying to start over, if we could try being friends again and slowly working towards something. His response: he doesn't know. He says that I've "left him" twice already and I hurt him because the second time he was developing strong feelings. Although I am sorry that I hurt him, a part of me believes that he was the one who didn't want anything serious at the time...he's the one that told me to date others...why should he be hurt?
What I would like to know is...should I continue to pursue this with the crush or should I move on? He really is a good guy, but a part of me feels that because he isn't actively going to pursue me that this will not work out. I don't want to be the one initiating calls and texts.
....fast forward a year and my ex and I break up. I go out with my friends and as luck would have it, I ran back into the crush. We spoke on the phone afterwards and he was hurt that I stopped talking to him without an explanation (once again, since all he wanted was to be friends with me and he was dating other people...I didn't think I needed to explain anything). We rekindled things for about a month and they were great (nothing physical btw), but of course my ex found out and tried to ruin it with lies. I decided that it was best for me not to open one door without completely closing the other one and called it off. Of course, the crush was upset...I called about a month after breaking it off and apologized. He forgave me.
...not a day has gone by since then that I have not thought about the crush. Everyday, I mentally kick myself for not having the courage to completely walk away from my ex and start anew. I hadn't spoken to the crush since last November so when he texted me out of the blue (ironically, as I was praying about the situation) I was elated!
We have spoken a few times since then. I asked him the other day if he would ever consider trying to start over, if we could try being friends again and slowly working towards something. His response: he doesn't know. He says that I've "left him" twice already and I hurt him because the second time he was developing strong feelings. Although I am sorry that I hurt him, a part of me believes that he was the one who didn't want anything serious at the time...he's the one that told me to date others...why should he be hurt?
What I would like to know is...should I continue to pursue this with the crush or should I move on? He really is a good guy, but a part of me feels that because he isn't actively going to pursue me that this will not work out. I don't want to be the one initiating calls and texts.
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If someone broke it off with me to go finish business with their ex I would totally understand, but as far as I'm concerned I'd probably never have a relationship with that person at a later date. It's just not me. Even if I still find them eligible and we get on great. Its likely their chance is gone.
