At what age do you start to give the side eye to a single man...

[loved]

It depends for the reasons some posters have stated. People usually tell you who they are if you listen and you can hear the voice of a player/selfish/socially inept guy vs. one who just hasn't met the right person.

No side eye to a guy who doesn't have kids. That's a plus.


I knew some1 who always brought up that her SO's status as a never married was a big negative in her book. She had married against the advice of her church family and her family & it turned out to be a disaster - husband was lower than a turnip, had a child with another woman & left her to marry the other woman & a lot of other nasty stuff that had them in court for years. I always wondered but never asked if she gave herself a positive check mark for having been married even though it was such a trainwreck . . . or would her ex-husband get points for having been married even though he was a terrible husband.

 

[Optimus_Prime]

After 35 I think he's hiding something. He can get 'em, but can't keep 'em. Nobody really wants him, for him to be single considering how easy women are nowadays, and how much they'll put up with and cling to a man for dear life.

 

[Tee]

I don't give them the side eye at any age because more than likely, I don't know their story. (could be divorced, can't have children, don't want children, wife died, took care of his brothers/sisters because his parents died, etc.)

Now I give the side eye to any many over 26 who still lives with his mama. (parents)

 

[Ballerina_Bun]

I would not give any man OR woman the side eye because they were not married by a certain age. I don’t know the details of their life or preferences. It's better to remain single, then to get married and ruin another persons life!

Why does someone have to get married at all! It’s perfectly fine to choose not to, as is not having children. In fact, I see no problem with being married and living in separate house holds … I don’t have traditional ideas about relationships … well, not all of my ideas at least.

People don't have to settle down if they don’t want to. It's okay to think for yourself and go against some of societies ridiculous norms.

Check this out … I love this story!

The Art of Living Apart
http://www.oprah.com/relationships/The-Way-We-Love-Now/2

Boy meets girl. Boy has two kids. Girl would rather keep her own place, thank you.

Photo: Courtesy of the Simon Family
Couple #2

Marisol and Rob Simon

The Challenge

Marisol, 45, a chef and author, and Rob, 55, a new-media entrepreneur, may have fallen in love—but that didn't mean they wanted to join households, which in Rob's case included two kids. Their solution? In the seven years they've been married (that's their wedding, at right), they've happily maintained separate spaces. Sleepovers allowed.

Rob: When I thought about marriage, I pictured all four of us living together, but the truth is, that was my dream. It wasn't Marisol's dream, and it wasn't the kids' dream. Marisol didn't want to be a mom, and Ben [then 15] and Claire [then 11] didn't need another mother. During our dating days, I would stay at her place when I wasn't with the kids. I was happy, she was happy. There was nothing broken, so I thought: "Why don't we just continue that but be married?"

Marisol: There's a certain magic to our marriage, and it comes from not being together all the time. There's an old saying, "How can I miss you if you're always around?" Rob and I always miss each other, and I don't know if it would be the same if we lived together all the time. It's funny. One time I took Claire out for her birthday, just us girls, and there was a couple sitting near us not saying a word to each other. Claire said, "That's what would happen to you and Dad if you guys lived together."

Rob: As it is, we talk a lot. We always know where the other one is. And I think we spend more time with each other than most couples do. We tuck each other in at night by phone, and if she's out with friends, I check to make sure she got home okay, and vice versa. And there's always been a lot of trust that we wouldn't be Tiger Woods–ing each other.

Marisol: Just because you love someone doesn't mean they have to consume you. There has to be room for yourself in a relationship. People need oxygen. When I'm on my own, I get to go to the store and buy my rib eye and onions and cook the food I used to eat growing up in Venezuela. I pour a glass of red wine and open my Bon Appétit. Or put on my Pink Martini CD—loud. Rob is a sprawler, I'm a condenser. So at my house things aren't all over the place and I don't have to follow anyone around with a bottle of Windex. At night I can wear my ugly red shorts, reach for the tweezers, and work my eyebrows. I get an entire night of sleep without someone snoring, and the next day I'm so agreeable.

Rob: On the other hand, a lot of great moments come when you don't plan them. That's one thing you sacrifice—the spontaneous opportunities that could occur.

Marisol: Yes, but still—when I tell other women about my setup, at first they go, "What?" Then they say, "I could use a few days off from my husband, for sure." Guys, for some reason, don't love it. But women tend to think it's fantastic. They say, "Can you come talk to my husband about why we should do this, too?"​