Assume He's Lying, Or Give Him Enough Rope to Hang Himself?

[MzLady78]

I have a friend who will be 41 next week. She has no kids, no SO and as far I know, no prospects.

Now, she and I have had many conversations about men/relationships, etc. She's in mindset that pretty much everything that comes out men's mouth's is a lie. I have honestly never seen anyone less trusting of men in my life.

I, on the other hand, tend to be more of an "innocent until proven guilty" type person. I don't put anything past anyone, but I'm not going to assume that because you have a penis, you're a liar. And I have to wonder if this isn't why she hasn't been able to settle yet. I will say that she and I know A LOT of no good dudes. I mean, guys that have had the same side chick for 10+ years, but couldn't pick his wife out of a line up. I myself went through a period where I was a married man magnet, IDK what it was, but they just kept coming at me.

So I'm wondering for the single ladies, which is your approach when you're dealing with a new guy?

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I'm somewhere in the middle.....

 

[LongTimeComing]

Trust but verify.

 

[MzLady78]

Trust but verify.

See, this makes sense to me.

But I've actually heard her say to dudes that are interested in her that "all men lie". I'm like wow, talk about cutting a brotha off at the knees!

 

[LongTimeComing]

^^Yea, that's a little much on a first date.

Don't get me wrong, I have been burned before, but usually I ask enough questions and have such a good memory that it makes it VERY hard to lie to me. I'll catch you eventually...

 

[MzLady78]

^^Yea, that's a little much on a first date.

Don't get me wrong, I have been burned before, but usually I ask enough questions and have such a good memory that it makes it VERY hard to lie to me. I'll catch you eventually...

Right! She does too, so IDK why she feels the need to use the guerilla tactics right from the jump.

It's too bad, cuz she really a good person, very big-hearted but I don't see her ever having the family she wants with this mindset. Especially at her age.

 

[ThickHair]

Then she should just give up dating is she is going to think that every guy is a liar. Who would want to date someone like that????? How does she feel if a guy assumed that every woman was a liar?

Mmmm me thinks she is going to be dateless for much longer.

 

[VelvetRain]

I will take what you say for face value until I have reason not too. It's at that point I will start to check you out even more.

 

[MzLady78]

Then she should just give up dating is she is going to think that every guy is a liar. Who would want to date someone like that????? How does she feel if a guy assumed that every woman was a liar?

Mmmm me thinks she is going to be dateless for much longer.

Pretty much. Again, I understand why she's so cynical. Until I really started hanging out and being around people much older than me about 3 years ago, I had NO idea dudes were so out there with their trifling behavior. I mean, I had men try to flip it like there was something wrong with ME because they were married and I wouldn't talk to them. But IDK, I can't see thinking the worst right off that bat like that.

I will take what you say for face value until I have reason not too. It's at that point I will start to check you out even more.

Right. That's more my approach.

 

[Thiends]

I neither trust nor distrust. I just wait for the man to show me who he is as we get to know each other. When I have a reason to distrust, I just throw the deuces instead of wasting time investigating.

 

[Yen Oak]

There's also something to be said for positive thinking. If she puts out energy that is overly suspicious, it's possible that she could attract the very thing she dislikes.

 

[sky_blu]

I will trust you until you give me a reason not to trust you.

 

[TayMac]

I have been the super trusting and the assume he's lying person at various times. Now I'm in the middle and I try to be more optimistic. Lack of trust will tear up a relationship.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

All men lie...

umm People lie...and...