Asking about Hiv status

Kindheart

Kindheart

Well-Known Member
When you ask a man his hiv status and he tells you something like ...I took a test last year and i m clean ,or I dont have anything dont worry " ,do you actually trust his word ,couldn't it be that he simply wants to "hit it" and lie about his status ?and if he was in fact clean " at the time of the test what prevented him from catching somethng after he took the test .
 
Hell to the nawl. I wouldn't trust any mans word on that. I'd request prior/present proof and testing as a couple if he wants to even sniff some draws with a jimmy hat/rubber let alone w/o a jimmy hat/rubber.

At a certain age and/or level of maturity folks should be getting yearly physicals w/HIV testing anyways. I know alot of folks are still just going around screwing all nilly willy.
 
I definitely would not go just on someone's word because there is high probability the dude is going to lie. I just can't see a dude who has tested positive for HIV just willingly saying "Oh yeah, I tested positive for it 2 years ago." If the dude is HIV positive and is worth being with despite that, he is going to initiate that convo with you without you having to ask.

Also, even if he's telling the truth, the fact that he's willing to just hop in bed with you without verifying *your* status just lets you know he is a sexual risk taker and those test results are probably out of date!

Basically, there is just no point in asking. You need to go to test together or just be very careful with using protection.
 
I made the 2 last men I have had rserious relationships with take tests. They could say anything. I am not taking anyones word.
 
Would I take a man's word on his HIV status?

cop-out-nope.gif


I have and will continue to require a hardcopy of said test results. I always provide the same info on myself. I had an experience where this guy was giving me a hard time about providing a clean bill of health. Needless to say, there were no shared activities between us .

I know people who habitually engage in unprotected coloring by trusting the other person's word. Crrraaazzzzyyyyyyyy :spinning:
 
In the magical land of Condomania he is the" chosen' one where his blood according to some old prophesy holds the key to cure the disease HIV/AIDS and other STD's then his word would be golden until then.......get tested together.
 
Kindheart said:
When you ask a man his hiv status and he tells you something like ...I took a test last year and i m clean ,or I dont have anything dont worry " ,do you actually trust his word ,couldn't it be that he simply wants to "hit it" and lie about his status ?and if he was in fact clean " at the time of the test what prevented him from catching somethng after he took the test .
Click to expand...

He and I both went together to PPH and had the whole cache of test.
 
I would never trust someone's word. Most of the time people have no idea that they have it.

I agree about getting tested together.
 
I strongly suggest requesting 7 years of past test results due to the CDC's incubation period, current/latest test results and then testing together there after.

Some men won't have an issue with providing that info especially if they are over 30. They may have to take a annual physical w/blood workup(HIV/AIDS) for insurance purposes such as Life/supplemental insurance ie;long/short term disability, cancer, long term care, wellness etc insurance.
 
Considering the fact that I've actually have had to tell people they were HIV+ before, I need to see papers. And I know what the real ones look like too....
 
I need receipts.

Before I married DH I made him go get an STD/HIV test. It was a requirement if he wanted to pursue marriage with me.
 
You can get a HIV express test at Walgreens. You get the results in 24 hours.

I would personally get tested yearly anonymously.
 
How about in a marriage? Women get yearly paps where they check for STDs but how about men? I trust my husband and love him to death but how do I ask if he's been tested recently? We've been married for 5 years.

ETA: I've never cheated and I believe he hasn't either but shouldn't you both still be getting tested?
 
ItsMeFre Does he keep his medical records at the house? Also, with my health care provider I can go online and see all my test results and history. Maybe you can do some snooping first if its too uncomfortable to have the conversation? If you don't find anything then you need to bite the bullet and have the talk.
 
You can always suggest getting tested together at your doctor's office. This is important to your health and your life, do what's necessary to protect and take care of yourself.
 
No asking. Go get tested for HIV and STDs together. Why do people even make this an issue. A man who doesn't want to either has something to hard or really doesn't care that much about you. I know way too many women who compromise on this issue.
 
How do you start this conversation?

I'm dating someone new and we haven't done anything too physical yet, but I'd like to. However, I'd also like to be safe. Anyone have tips on non-awkward ways to bring up getting tested together? TIA!
 
melophone13 said:
How do you start this conversation?

I'm dating someone new and we haven't done anything too physical yet, but I'd like to. However, I'd also like to be safe. Anyone have tips on non-awkward ways to bring up getting tested together? TIA!
Click to expand...
I'd say go together or do what I did and take the initiative yourself and tell him to do same. (lol).

For two months, I was dating an older guy (50) this winter. We got physical once (with condom). I told him if we are going to continue this, I'm going to get the whole series of tests on everything--herpes, hpv, hiv, any other v! I said, "you should too." I went and got the tests the next week. A week later I got the results that all was clean and told him and said he could look at the results anytime.

He said good and was going to make an appointment too. Not only did he not get his tests, the jerk disappeared. Instantly.

I think I dodged a bullet. :blush:
 
DarkJoy said:
He said good and was going to make an appointment too. Not only did he not get his tests, the jerk disappeared. Instantly.

I think I dodged a bullet. :blush:
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Wowww, that's telling! You def dodged a bullet, but I'm sorry that happened to you, DarkJoy!
 
I always ask for test results, and I never met a guy who was offended when asked. If he did we wasn't coloring anyway so I could careless. That's a major red flag if he gets defense about you requesting that information.
 
You definetly can't be too careful. Unfortunately, too many men are on the down low and will not think twice about it. I know of several guys that were "straight" but were rumored to be sexing with the town gay guy. This gay guy was one of the first openly gay dudes to publicly confess to being HIV+ (this was about 15-18 years ago), such things were not common then here. Well, he died and when he did, he left a list of these "straight guys" who had been intimate with him, of course, they very strongly denied it. Since then, one died of AIDS (after getting married and having kids, of course) and another who also got married and had kids, was splashed all over the news for being arrested for intentionally spreading HIV to several women. There are several positive women who wish they had of heeded the rumors...Don't let this happen to you!! My main point is, these were very handsome, clean cut, well dressed black guys with good jobs. Very athletic, (one played pro basketball all over the world for years), in other words they were "men's men", ya know? You would have never known, to look at them. Who knows how many women have been infected....
 
crazytrish75 said:
I know of several guys that were "straight" but were rumored to be sexing with the town gay guy. This gay guy was one of the first openly gay dudes to publicly confess to being HIV+ (this was about 15-18 years ago), such things were not common then here. Well, he died and when he did, he left a list of these "straight guys" who had been intimate with him, of course, they very strongly denied it. Since then, one died of AIDS (after getting married and having kids, of course) and another who also got married and had kids, was splashed all over the news for being arrested for intentionally spreading HIV to several women. There are several positive women who wish they had of heeded the rumors...Don't let this happen to you!!
Click to expand...

Well, damn!

Ok, so I get WHAT to do (ask for test results/go get tested together), but I still don't know HOW to do it. How/when/where to start the conversation, what to say, etc.

Can any of you share what you said to bring the topic up, please?
 
Melophone13 heck buy the movie Precious or Philadelphia Watch it then say dang HIV scares me sh!tless baby. What are your views on the HIV epidemic and how often do you get tested? I say set the scenario that way it won't seem so random or direct since you have an issue with bringing it up straight no chaser. You gotta think out the box sometimes. Find some literature or something to use as the opener.
 
firecracker said:
Melophone13 heck buy the movie Precious or Philadelphia Watch it then say dang HIV scares me sh!tless baby. What are your views on the HIV epidemic and how often do you get tested? I say set the scenario that way it won't seem so random or direct since you have an issue with bringing it up straight no chaser. You gotta think out the box sometimes. Find some literature or something to use as the opener.
Click to expand...

Yesssss, that's genius, firecracker! Thank you!
 
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