As you have gotten older, how has your views on relationships changed?

For me, the qualities that are important in a mate change. Things like must have an advanced degree yield to things like must understand my comittment to raising my teenage sister. There are a lot more as well. Im 24 now, but I can definitely see the growth from being 21 fresh out of undergrad.
 
I think when you are younger, you can justify to yourself looking past certain things and focusing on someone's "potential" and go from there..when you get older, potential no longer is a factor..if they ain't got it by now, most likely then never will.
 
sunnydaze said:
I think when you are younger, you can justify to yourself looking past certain things and focusing on someone's "potential" and go from there..when you get older, potential no longer is a factor..if they ain't got it by now, most likely then never will.
Click to expand...

Right :up:
And you realize that it's not all about the lovey-dovey, but whether you can see yourself being a real team with this person.
 
sunnydaze said:
I think when you are younger, you can justify to yourself looking past certain things and focusing on someone's "potential" and go from there..when you get older, potential no longer is a factor..if they ain't got it by now, most likely then never will.
Click to expand...

Amen...
itismehmmkay said:
Right :up:
And you realize that it's not all about the lovey-dovey, but whether you can see yourself being a real team with this person.
Click to expand...

and amen again! :yep:
 
Yes my views at 25 are not even close to what they were when I was 21. I'm looking more at quality moreso than other non-important features.
 
as i've gotten older, i realized that relationships are supposed to be easy, not complicated. I've learned to let men chase me cause that simplifies everything and saves me a lot of heartache.
 
sunnydaze said:
I think when you are younger, you can justify to yourself looking past certain things and focusing on someone's "potential" and go from there..when you get older, potential no longer is a factor..if they ain't got it by now, most likely then never will.
Click to expand...

Absolutely
 
I focus on myself much more. i am still a teen and pretty young but a couple years ago i would focus on them wayyy too much and look into it too much and when i eased up, it attracted them much more!
 
caribeandiva said:
as i've gotten older, i realized that relationships are supposed to be easy, not complicated. I've learned to let men chase me cause that simplifies everything and saves me a lot of heartache.
Click to expand...


You sewed da weave ri on da track with that one!!!!! I totally agree 100%
 
sunnydaze said:
I think when you are younger, you can justify to yourself looking past certain things and focusing on someone's "potential" and go from there..when you get older, potential no longer is a factor..if they ain't got it by now, most likely then never will.
Click to expand...

Yes, girl! :yep:
 
Men are men. Being attracted to a "type" thinking they would NEVER do such and such is one of the biggest mistakes you can make.

I once thought dating inexperienced men would make me impervious to heartbreak because I could "teach" them. Guess what? He dumped my ass. :lachen:

I married a supposed sweet, kind, unassuming nerd and guess what I found out? He has a temper, has severe miserly tendencies, and can be the biggest azzhole you ever met.

So when you meet a man, overlook all those dumb stereotypes. Men will do them regardless, whether they are geeks, nerds, ballers, accountants, Asian, Black, White, purple, or polkadotted.

P.S. They will ALL test boundaries and try to get away with as much as you allow them to.
 
Starian said:
Men are men. Being attracted to a "type" thinking they would NEVER do such and such is one of the biggest mistakes you can make.

I once thought dating inexperienced men would make me impervious to heartbreak because I could "teach" them. Guess what? He dumped my ass. :lachen:

I married a supposed sweet, kind, unassuming nerd and guess what I found out? He has a temper, has severe miserly tendencies, and can be the biggest azzhole you ever met.

So when you meet a man, overlook all those dumb stereotypes. Men will do them regardless, whether they are geeks, nerds, ballers, accountants, Asian, Black, White, purple, or polkadotted.

P.S. They will ALL test boundaries and try to get away with as much as you allow them to.
Click to expand...

HECKKKK Yeah. Same here.
 
Nobody can make me happy but ME!
Also, my patience has run thin. No more with "putting up" with stuff hoping and praying it will change. If you can't get in line, NEXT!
I don't have time for BS anymore.
I can't BELIEVE some of the stuff I put up with in past relationships. If someone tried that stuff now...***** PLEASE KIM!
 
As I got older I realized what things were "wants" and what things were "needs". A lot of folks get the two mixed up. Now I'm only focused on fulfilling the "needs" list, though it would nice to have some of the "wants" met too.
 
Pretty Brown Eyes said:
I now realize that a lot of qualities I want in a man I myself should possess.
Click to expand...

Let the church say AMEN!

I had to learn this this year. I wasnt looking for a guy to support me or anything but I was so in awe of this guy mainly because had achieved things most people his age didn't. When things didnt work out, I felt it was my loss cuz he had his stuff together, then I asked myself would I be that impressed by him if I had all those things myself? Nope. So now, I'm working on me....
 
I totally agree with the points about relationships being easy... drama does not equal passion. And also the point about letting men chase you. It's okay to show your interest but after that they should pursue you!
I have also become more open minded as the years have passed... whether it be with regard to race, education, age etc. and not to worry about what others say. At the end of the day, you should never live your life for people who won't/can't die for you! You should always look to do what is in YOUR (and maybe the other person's) best interests when it comes to relationships :yep:
 
My views have changed greatly! I have dated men my own age and one man who is 11 years older than I! I feel that for one thing I must have PASSION in all and everything I do if there is no PASSION then I will not continue on with a realtionship!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

neenzmj
Teaching on Marriage/Relationships
Replies
8
Views
162
panamoni
panamoni
Glib Gurl
  • Sticky
Where/How Did You Meet Your Man - The Master List
2 3 4
Replies
118
Views
11K
Sanity
S
Suerte
Have you ever changed yourself to keep or get a man?
Replies
16
Views
396
Suerte
Suerte
butterfly_wings
Talking about past relationships with you SO
Replies
25
Views
600
ackee walk
ackee walk
janaq2003
how your upbringing has shaped your relationships as an adult
2
Replies
42
Views
1K
firecracker
firecracker
Back
Top