Are you friend's with your SO's female friends?

In every relationship I've been in, yes. IMO it's the smart thing to be at least acquainted with the friends of any man I become seriously involved with regardless of their gender. Birds of a feather flock together and all that jazz. Who you hang with tells me about you and helps one avoid being the "oh my gawd, I had no idea he would do this/was like that" crowd.

As for women, heck yeah! Fancy new age yadda yadda aside. From a simply biological perspective men and women were designed to procreate. It's why we have all these various attraction triggers. Therefore it seems the intelligent thing ESPECIALLY when his friends are women to at least be acquainted with them. Hell when I was in a relationship with a guy who had a personal assistant, I knew her too. I was sweet as pie, but I peeped her and let her peep me esp. when I brought him lunch. *laughing at the stories I could tell*
 
My s/o has alot of female friends. At first I really didn't like it. I still kinda don't, but I've somewhat learned to just deal with it (since these are people he's known way before he met me).
No I'm not friends with them. I've really only met like 2 (of the many). I just know of them.
 
My SO doesn't have any female friends except for classmates but he doesn't talk to them outside of school so that would be no.
 
honeybadgirl said:
no, i'm not! he shouldnt have female "friends" but thats life and it is what it is but i dont trust women in the sense of them being around my man and smiling in my face. they're too sneaky. like, they'll smile in your face and then be f-ing your man. no no no:nono:!! i dont even want to meet them. i prefer to know of them and about them but mixing and mingling, i'm not for it
Click to expand...

I agree...
I've known women like this...
SCANDALOUS !!!
I don't need to know them...
they don't need to know me,
but SO needs to respect our relationship.
That's it... that's all.
 
thanks for your answers ladies.

My SO has female acquaintances who he speak to every once in a while. HOWEVER, there's this one girl who imo has no respect for our relationship. She calls him at least 5 days a week. Usually, she calls the SO with some "problem" she's having. For example, one night she calls him drunk begging for him to "come and get her" he simply told her "I'm not your bf and I'm with my gf so I can't help you". She threw a hissy fit, and sent my SO a text saying "no one loves her". He recently told her that now that he's in a relationship it's a bit inappropriate that she calls so often. Now he claims she calls about 2 times a week.

The situation doesn't sit right with me at all. I've addressed it with my SO but at the same time I'm annoyed that he picks up and/or returns her phone calls. She's the same "friend" who told him she "uncomfortable that he has a girlfriend now". To make matters worse my SO admitted that about 4 yrs. ago said chick use to be his jump-off.
I'm not sure how I should go about this.
 
IntelligenceisBeautiful said:
thanks for your answers ladies.

My SO has female acquaintances who he speak to every once in a while. HOWEVER, there's this one girl who imo has no respect for our relationship. She calls him at least 5 days a week. Usually, she calls the SO with some "problem" she's having. For example, one night she calls him drunk begging for him to "come and get her" he simply told her "I'm not your bf and I'm with my gf so I can't help you". She threw a hissy fit, and sent my SO a text saying "no one loves her". He recently told her that now that he's in a relationship it's a bit inappropriate that she calls so often. Now he claims she calls about 2 times a week.

The situation doesn't sit right with me at all. I've addressed it with my SO but at the same time I'm annoyed that he picks up and/or returns her phone calls. She's the same "friend" who told him she "uncomfortable that he has a girlfriend now". To make matters worse my SO admitted that about 4 yrs. ago said chick use to be his jump-off.
I'm not sure how I should go about this.
Click to expand...

Seems to me like she's not over your SO, there is still some residual feelings there. Also, sounds like she's very disrespectful and jealous of the time that he's spending with you. She's calling and he's responding to her calls 5x a week!!!! Why??? I'd find out what's really going on, how long have you been in the relationship with your SO?
 
honeycomb said:
Seems to me like she's not over your SO, there is still some residual feelings there. Also, sounds like she's very disrespectful and jealous of the time that he's spending with you. She's calling and he's responding to her calls 5x a week!!!! Why??? I'd find out what's really going on, how long have you been in the relationship with your SO?
Click to expand...

It's a very new relationship, we've only been officially together for 4 months
 
We play nice together. I wouldn't consider any to be a friend but there is one that I would chill with. He doesn't tend to chill with them very much but they are young and have all that young drama so he's taken on more of a big brother roll for them
 
IntelligenceisBeautiful said:
It's a very new relationship, we've only been officially together for 4 months
Click to expand...

Since it's fairly new, then it's hard to break off with old friendships even with the opposite sex. My husband and I both had friends of the opposite sex in the beginning stages of our relationship, but once we were serious and it was official that we were going to get married, it toned down and eventually stopped.
 
I don't have to be friends with them, it'd be nice to know who they were and for them to know me. But I wouldn't be with a guy I didn't fully trust and regardless of how tricky some chicks get, if he's of good character you're cool.

I'm thinking of situations where the guy has been in genuine friendships with the woman long before he met his girl. I can't honestly say that's its right for him to discard that friendship because of possible insecurity issues.

Now I can understand the *no new friends* standpoint. But if he had a life before you, things get muddy when you ask him to dissociate. At that point he has every right to be concerned about your trust issues. Unless there is some sexual history between the two- I think it's unfair (and sometimes a little insecure :o) to ban him from having female friends or associates.

I think it's ridiculous when ppl say "I trust him, it's her I don't trust"--- but can anything really go down, unless he gives it the green light? I feel like this represents a problem with women- we blame the other women and leave the dude faultless. Like the woman was a predator and poor little him was just ripe for the picking. :rolleyes: If he's untrustworthy, or has a sketchy past then do what you have to. But if he's given you no reason to question his judgement/character- give the guy some room on the leash.

Sure meet the friends/associates, get acquainted so they know you. But don't make him drop ppl in his life that were there b4 you.
 
honeycomb said:
Since it's fairly new, then it's hard to break off with old friendships even with the opposite sex. My husband and I both had friends of the opposite sex in the beginning stages of our relationship, but once we were serious and it was official that we were going to get married, it toned down and eventually stopped.
Click to expand...

good point!
 
no. I don't wanna sound "ghetto" but H03s be 0n dat N!994 lol No.. I trust him though and I love the fact that he's such a social butterfly and that he's able to have friends in both sexes.... I have male friends too so I really should not be jealous.
 
I think it depends. I was a good male friend who eventually established a relatinship with soemone while we were in schol. But when he introduced me and my other best friend (who is also tight with him) to her I could tell she did not like us. Granted we where very attractive women and whatnot but we did not want him. Needless to say the relationship didnt last. We didnt do anything to make her miserable but she swore up and down that we used date him and screw around with him.
 
He is not allowed to have any......

LOL J/K...but not really. LOL No I don't mind if he has any...but my baby doesn't have female friends. His female cousin is one of his best friends and she and I are cool.
 
My SO told me from the beginning that he doesn't understand the concept of men and women being friends (probably because I have male friends and he was trying to cut that out). Either way, now he will NEVER be able to use the excuse that they are "just friends" if he starts hanging out with a new girl. He made his noose and it is ready for him if he wants to hang himself. :)
 
DH already had female friends when I met him, have known them from college. As soon as we started dating he introduced me to them, and I found out none of them have ever dated or slept together (he didn't tell me, I did my own investigation). I trust these women because when we moved in together they didn't call him as much to hang out and if they did they always wanted me to come. We're married now, and he still sees them once a week to catch up on things. And when other women try to flirt with him they're ready to give her a beatdown. :grin:
 
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