Are there really people who just attract bad people?

[SincerelyJane]

I heard someone say this today, and I've heard other people say it before. I've never put stock in it, but I didn't want to just dismiss what she was saying because I'm aware I could just be speaking out of my own privilege.

So have you met a person that really just attracts bad men, like that's all they attract, it's not that they just choose to engage the wrong ones. Do you think this actually happens? Do you know anyone who is like this?

 

[Leesh]

I wouldnt say a person attracts bad men...THEY are attracted to bad men.

I mean, of course in some cases, bad people can sniff out a vulnerable naive person and set their sights on using them, but I think in the majority of cases, I think its a certain edge that they see and like.

 

[okange76]

I wonder about this sometimes because I feel as if "Mistress" is imaginary tattooed on my forehead. I don't get it. The biggest philanderers always hunt me down at parties two sec after introducing me to their wives. Then they have the nerve to be pissed off when I decline their advances.

Another weird thing is I always get a dinner invitation from their wives to come visit and they'll cook our trad food in their homes. I find excuses not to go. I don't want to be in anyone's home then their hubby will act up and I'll be accused of trying to break a home.

As a single African woman, being labelled a home wrecker is the kiss of death especially if you want to marry within your community. No one's son will bring you home.

 

[VelvetRain]

Yeah. It's called being emotionally unavailable.

 

[IWantBSl09]

Law of Attraction, somewhere in their subconscious thoughts is causing them attract these type of men

 

[Britt]

Law of Attraction, somewhere in their subconscious thoughts is causing them attract these type of men

I agree with this. If that's all I attracted I'd start to wonder what is in me that is attracting these types of men/people.

 

[sweetvi]

It's your sense of self worth and lack of boundaries... Which men test and some sniff out right away

 

[SincerelyJane]

Well it wasn't just relationships. The lady who said this is former addict who has been trying to turn her life around as has been clean for some time. But she's lonely and is having problems developing the types of relationships and friendships that would contribute to her success.

I didn't know what to say, because I have never been in that situation though I can imagine how difficult it would be. I told her to try to plug into a church? Usually there are people there who are willing to be supportive and are seeking in developing positive friendships. I also said she needs to develop some interests outside of drugs. Because it sounds like it used to consume a lot of her time so there's clearly a void there. That's also a way of meeting positive people.

I don't know, did I say the right thing? She is working on herself, that part goes without being said and I didn't think she needed to hear that from me. But I do want to know what would be good advice to give in the future, in case I hear something like that again, and I know I will.

 

[sounbeweavable]

I think you attract what you think you deserve or what you're open to... meaning if you don't think you deserve love, you probably won't attract men who are willing/capable of giving it. HOWEVER some sleazy men will just go after any and every woman in hopes that they'll strike gold.

 

[TopShelf]

Sometimes I think certain people are attracted to individuals who are not good for them (some people live for the drama) but other times I think those bad people are attracted to good people because deep down that's who they wish they could be. The problem for the good person arises when they are not aware of when the bad person starts to drag them "down" to where they are vibrationally and spiritually.

A good example is the saying "misery loves company". I think that there are those who really want to be better people but they don't know how to go about becoming that person and end up taking good people down with them. Good people have to learn how to interact with bad people in a way that does not mess with their positive vibrations.

 

[Kindheart]

I heard emotionally unavailable women tend to attract EU men which often leads to tumultuous ,difficult relationships .

I usually attract geeks ,laid back ,successful guys .I can say that ,overall i ve been pretty lucky when it comes to love and relationships ,with that said ,i did date a couple of men with issues along the way ,especially during a particularly lonely time of my life.
One hated his mother was abandoned by his father and had a completley avoidant behavior ,he wasn't able to have a healthy relationship but had a hard time letting go completely .Another had some personality disorder ,lol ,that lasted 2 dates ,i m not the one to deal with all that stuff .Shame cuz he was a great looking man .
I m not attracted to "bad boys" at all so their interest is short lived .I hate all the drama and struggles that come with it .