are the men in d.c. really THAT bad?

butter_pecan said:
I totally feel like most men here (even ones I've dated, at times) are effeminate. I want a man's man, like what I had back home. These men won't even change the oil in your car, because "it's dirty and time consuming, and I could just pay somebody to do it." Smh.
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:lachen: you are telling the truth...:lachen:
 
freelove said:
In general Chicago style is a few months behind the DMV area. It could be b/c of difference in proximity to NY or just the more laid-back nature of people in this area, but it's def something I noticed.
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ot
:lol:i'm from chicago and used to live/work in dc and this was something i noticed a long time ago and i also wondered about dc proximity to ny... this can even be said about the national chain stores (i.e. macy's)... i always find flyer clothes & shoes in the dmv area than here in chicago... planning a shopping trip to dmv & ny sometime in the fall...
 
*SkolarStar* said:
OT- @freelove Can you do a spinny about Chicago? I was thinking of starting it but an OP from you would be more worthwhile. I just want more advice about what the men there are like.
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*SkolarStar* Go ahead and start the thread I'll post. I'd actually like to see other people's opinion before I post.... I've been pretty outspoken about mine. I'd like to see what other people have to say.....
 
freelove said:
*SkolarStar* Go ahead and start the thread I'll post. I'd actually like to see other people's opinion before I post.... I've been pretty outspoken about mine. I'd like to see what other people have to say.....
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Freelove for the short weekend that I was in Chicago I must say that the men are very forward and relaxed unlike the men in DC and NY..they were much more friendlier (no airs), complimentary and attentive (men of all races) Walking up Michigan ave the first day I got there was very interesting I must say, I was not prepared for the amount of white men coming at me. lol. The one thing I didn't like much is that people are a bit country but I'm from NYC so don't shoot me, lol.

Anyway my mistake was letting this one particular guy have me all to himself that weekend (he took me everywhere the last two days), I really wanted to explore and mingle with more men from the city.
 
As far as Chicago goes, I always get a lot of love in the Chi. I live in Detroit so I go somewhat frequently since its only a 4 hour drive. They are relaxed and pretty straightforward when its comes to approaching women in social environments. I actually really like men from the Midwest. They have a certain "down-home" quality and don't really fall on either extremes of aggressiveness or pretentiousness which can be seen in East and West coast dudes. Like FemmeFatale, I received a lot of attention from non-black men - like overt and direct attention. I would totally move to Chicago if it wasn't so expensive!
 
Great, so its not just me.

FemmeFatale lol, even though Chicago is a true Northern city, I totally know what you mean about some of the black men being country. I agree :yep:

I personally it has something to do with that exodus of black folk from the South in 1900s.

C(squared) I do think men are more relaxed here. I think they are more free with complimenting women too. Sometimes I feel like my E. Coast male friends would rather choke before they give a girl a compliment. :rolleyes:
 
C(squared) said:
As far as Chicago goes, I always get a lot of love in the Chi. I live in Detroit so I go somewhat frequently since its only a 4 hour drive. They are relaxed and pretty straightforward when its comes to approaching women in social environments. I actually really like men from the Midwest. They have a certain "down-home" quality and don't really fall on either extremes of aggressiveness or pretentiousness which can be seen in East and West coast dudes. Like FemmeFatale, I received a lot of attention from non-black men - like overt and direct attention. I would totally move to Chicago if it wasn't so expensive!
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I agree with all of this, it was refreshing!
 
As far as DC goes, I was definitely feeling it because I got a lot of love there also. I went to Park on Friday and it was easily one of the best nights I've had in a little while! I found that the men were very direct and open about complimenting me, asking to dance or buying a drink. Of course, that was only a one time experience but it definitely had me thinking about making more trips to DC. I just love that DC had kind of become this mecca for young black (and other) educated people to congregate. I know too many guys who have moved there for residencies, law school, internships, etc. Plus, the idea of living in the mere vicinity of our first Black president and first lady pushes me to the edge! LOL

This thread is hilarious yet very telling at the same time because I think that while DC guys may be a bit much, I believe there is a trend in younger guys in general becoming more feminized and materialistic. This generation of men is doing things that some of their parents maybe never had the opportunity to do and materialism and other outward projections of so-called wealth are how they show they have "arrived." This also extends to the women they choose to date.
 
C(squared) said:
As far as Chicago goes, I always get a lot of love in the Chi. I live in Detroit so I go somewhat frequently since its only a 4 hour drive. They are relaxed and pretty straightforward when its comes to approaching women in social environments. I actually really like men from the Midwest. They have a certain "down-home" quality and don't really fall on either extremes of aggressiveness or pretentiousness which can be seen in East and West coast dudes. Like FemmeFatale, I received a lot of attention from non-black men - like overt and direct attention. I would totally move to Chicago if it wasn't so expensive!
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This is how I feel about Midwestern men. :yep:

East coast dudes play too many games and get on my damn nerves. :perplexed
 
Park has definitely been one of the best places for this. I've been going off and on for years. I don't really feel that way about the rest of the K St. clubs.

U St and Penn Quarter are also good spots for this.

C(squared) said:
As far as DC goes, I was definitely feeling it because I got a lot of love there also. I went to Park on Friday and it was easily one of the best nights I've had in a little while! I found that the men were very direct and open about complimenting me, asking to dance or buying a drink. Of course, that was only a one time experience but it definitely had me thinking about making more trips to DC. I just love that DC had kind of become this mecca for young black (and other) educated people to congregate. I know too many guys who have moved there for residencies, law school, internships, etc. Plus, the idea of living in the mere vicinity of our first Black president and first lady pushes me to the edge! LOL

This thread is hilarious yet very telling at the same time because I think that while DC guys may be a bit much, I believe there is a trend in younger guys in general becoming more feminized and materialistic. This generation of men is doing things that some of their parents maybe never had the opportunity to do and materialism and other outward projections of so-called wealth are how they show they have "arrived." This also extends to the women they choose to date.
Click to expand...
 
C(squared) said:
As far as DC goes, I was definitely feeling it because I got a lot of love there also. I went to Park on Friday and it was easily one of the best nights I've had in a little while! I found that the men were very direct and open about complimenting me, asking to dance or buying a drink. Of course, that was only a one time experience but it definitely had me thinking about making more trips to DC. I just love that DC had kind of become this mecca for young black (and other) educated people to congregate. I know too many guys who have moved there for residencies, law school, internships, etc. Plus, the idea of living in the mere vicinity of our first Black president and first lady pushes me to the edge! LOL

This thread is hilarious yet very telling at the same time because I think that while DC guys may be a bit much, I believe there is a trend in younger guys in general becoming more feminized and materialistic. This generation of men is doing things that some of their parents maybe never had the opportunity to do and materialism and other outward projections of so-called wealth are how they show they have "arrived." This also extends to the women they choose to date.
Click to expand...

I also noticed that men are very complimentary and flirty when you go to bars and clubs. But isn't that standard for bars/lounges/clubs anywhere? Men always get extra confident with alcohol in them. When people say that men compliment them openly often in the midwest, are they referring to non party type environments?
 
lushcoils said:
I also noticed that men are very complimentary and flirty when you go to bars and clubs. But isn't that standard for bars/lounges/clubs anywhere? Men always get extra confident with alcohol in them. When people say that men compliment them openly often in the midwest, are they referring to non party type environments?
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Yeah. Basically men don't have to be liquored up or prowling to give me a compliment in the Midwest. And it just seems a lot more genuine.

Maybe I'm just disillusioned with most DC men.
 
butter_pecan said:
I totally feel like most men here (even ones I've dated, at times) are effeminate. I want a man's man, like what I had back home. These men won't even change the oil in your car, because "it's dirty and time consuming, and I could just pay somebody to do it." Smh.
Click to expand...

My dad has this line on repeat, my whole life :lachen: :lachen: :lachen: We never owned any lawn mowers or anything, and I literally have to petition for weeks for him not to hire a contractor to do certain things that could be DIY projects.

But he will put oil in my car lol! He's not that bad.

I think everyone is used to something different. Maybe I will be okay there after all. hahaha.
 
apinkn1 said:
WOW, I’m glad I didn’t know this was the perception when I was still in the dating pool. I’ve never had trouble finding and dating quality men in the DC area and most of my peers (20’s-30’s) are married or in serious relationships, so it’s not unheard of.

I do have a cousin who falls into the category of the typical [educated] DC area man. He’s really a nice guy-- early 30’s making 6 figures, but he’s a serial monogamist. He will literally date a women for 2 -3 year and then when the time comes to take it to the next level, he dumps the girl and moves onto the next-- and these are beautiful, educated women--great catches in anyone’s book. He last girlfriend of 3 years recently dumped him because she got tired of waiting for him to propose.

I try to encourage him to stop playing with these women and I think with this last one, he’s starting to see the error in his ways. I’m still hoping that they will work it out.

I think a great way to meet someone is through someone else. That’s how I met DH.
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Hey Yall, I just wanted to update yall on my cousin’s situation. They got back together and he proposed to her. :yay:

They just had their engagement party along with his sister who is also got engaged this year. Both couples will be getting married early next year.

There is hope for love and marriage in the DC area. :yep:
 
lushcoils said:
I also noticed that men are very complimentary and flirty when you go to bars and clubs. But isn't that standard for bars/lounges/clubs anywhere? Men always get extra confident with alcohol in them. When people say that men compliment them openly often in the midwest, are they referring to non party type environments?
Click to expand...

I guess I was saying this in contrast with some of the experiences in the bars and clubs that were echoed throughout the thread (men acting standoffish and generally not approaching in bars and clubs). I should have included that in my post but this also include non social environments. I find men in the Midwest to be complimentary in general. You name it, grocery stores, gas stations, Target, etc.
 
butter_pecan said:
I totally feel like most men here (even ones I've dated, at times) are effeminate. I want a man's man, like what I had back home. These men won't even change the oil in your car, because "it's dirty and time consuming, and I could just pay somebody to do it." Smh.
Click to expand...

Follow up. I took a visit to the area last week, starting to get settled in for housing etc. I met 2 men I thought were OBVIOUSLY gay, who swore they were straight. WTF is up with that?:nono:
 
Hey Ladies I'm having a birthday party here this Saturday September 10-11pm-3am


Tuscana Lounge
1350 I ST. NW
Washington, DC
--across from Park Lounge

I'd love if u can come. If so inbox me your names because my guests get in free before midnight.
 
just want to add that they will have Complimentary HORS D' Oeuvres like shrimp, crab cakes, skewers etc 11PM-12:30AM
AJ Calloway from 106 & park is Hosting!!
 
oh that sucks ^^^^ i would've came

Is it me , or do men here expect YOU to do the asking out? I'm trying to figure out if the passive aggressiveness is just the way it is.

Like for example, instead of saying. "Hey, this Sat. would you like to do xyz?". They say, "I'm doing xyz on Sat". Or "so what are you doing this weekend". Or "Have you ever been to xyz". Like the communication is more informative, rather than directly asking you out.
 
Duchesse said:
oh that sucks ^^^^ i would've came

Is it me , or do men here expect YOU to do the asking out? I'm trying to figure out if the passive aggressiveness is just the way it is.

Like for example, instead of saying. "Hey, this Sat. would you like to do xyz?". They say, "I'm doing xyz on Sat". Or "so what are you doing this weekend". Or "Have you ever been to xyz". Like the communication is more informative, rather than directly asking you out.
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Maybe they are just telling you maybe they are asking indirectly but what I do know if you want to go why not ask them what the hell they mean? :lol: Solves that question real quick but imo both sexes at times are afraid of making moves so things like this happen. I've done it too so it happens to us all and I'm trying to get better at it.
 
Flawless_JYM said:
Maybe they are just telling you maybe they are asking indirectly but what I do know if you want to go why not ask them what the hell they mean? :lol: Solves that question real quick but imo both sexes at times are afraid of making moves so things like this happen. I've done it too so it happens to us all and I'm trying to get better at it.
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you know what, you're right about that! I think I'm just used to aggressive cavemen or something. I'm going to force myself to be more direct, maybe that will solve one of my probs :scratchch
 
sylver2 said:
Hey Ladies I'm having a birthday party here this Saturday September 10-11pm-3am


Tuscana Lounge
1350 I ST. NW
Washington, DC
--across from Park Lounge

I'd love if u can come. If so inbox me your names because my guests get in free before midnight.
Click to expand...

Damn I'm mad I missed this! I was at Park, too :(
 
Man I stopped reading this thread and missed this post! Hope you had an awesome party :grin:

sylver2 said:
Hey Ladies I'm having a birthday party here this Saturday September 10-11pm-3am


Tuscana Lounge
1350 I ST. NW
Washington, DC
--across from Park Lounge

I'd love if u can come. If so inbox me your names because my guests get in free before midnight.
Click to expand...
 
God bless my friend that's single. We're coming down at the end of October for Howard homecoming..hopefully we'll find the right places to party and chill.


Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
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