Are religious beliefs a "Deal Breaker" for you?

[HoneyA]

I can't hang with superior, dogmatic, holier then thou behavior from anybody and I find that in atheists, Christians, Muslims, New Agers, Buddhists, Jews,....everybody....to me it's more a personality trait then the religion as there are plenty of people with all of these religiouis beliefs (or non beliefs) who are cool.

My personal preference is for non-religious but humanistic/spiritual types who believe in the possibility of something greater then mankind....not necessarily a deity or God though.

Ditto. This is what I meant. As long as you're cool I'm cool.

 

[*CherryPie*]

I was going to type this!

I would not date an atheist or agnostic. I have no issue with atheists or agnostics, but I just don't think we'd click romantically.

As for denominations, that really doesn't make a difference. I'd also consider someone from another Abrahamic faith as well.

 

[aribell]

I wouldn't marry anyone that would make it more difficult for me to live life as I see best or who would undermine what I would like to teach my children about what is good, true, and beautiful.

 

[Lenee925]

Yes, it's a deal-breaker. I dated an atheist for 5.5 years. I'll never ever do it again.

 

[Ms Kain]

I would not date an atheist or agnostic. I have no issue with atheists or agnostics, but I just don't think we'd click romantically.

As for denominations, that really doesn't make a difference. I'd also consider someone from another Abrahamic faith as well.

I wouldn't either and since there's probably no way to explain why without my explanation offending the atheists that frequent this board, I'll just co sign on this answer as well.

 

[Ms Kain]

Can't do it....I don't think we would/could understand each other. Also there would be an issue with trying to raise kids.

If I marry, he will have to be a Christian.

I once knew a guy who was marrying a girl, she was a Christian, he was an atheist....a very staunch one I made add.

I asked him how he and his FW were going to deal with that. He said " I'll just go to church and lie....she wants the kids to be raised in church, so I'll fake it...until science catches up and proves that all this religion stuff is just crap!!"

I am a Christian, I do pray that eventually he comes to Christ, but I would hate for anyone to feel like they have to suffer in silence like that.

It would be like a ticking time bomb. I think with anything...you need to be compatible...not necessarily 100%, but compatible on most issues, if you're gonna marry.

I can't imagine marrying someone who has such disdain for something I cherish and love so much.

Not to say that all people who believe in God are honest but that is one of the reasons why I wouldn't get involved with or marry a man who didn't believe in God or a higher power. I would expect that if he'd act like that on an issue as important as faith then there's no telling what other compromises he would make in regards to his character.

The spiritual life of my children and myself is the cornerstone of who we are and I'm not about to risk that for no man....and that's my werd.

 

[Enyo]

I wouldn't either and since there's no way to explain why without my explanatiion offending the atheists that frequent this board,I'll just say I'm co signing on this answer as well.

How do you know we'd be offended? This is a Christian-influenced/dominated board. We've heard it all. Please expand on your comments.

 

[Ms Kain]

How do you know we'd be offended? This is a Christian-influenced/dominated board. We've heard it all. Please expand on your comments.

I wouldn't say that I know per se but since I've witnessed how my feelings were met when other people came before me and voiced them on one of the atheist themed threads (I was in search of understanding of what goes on in the minds of atheists) I figured there's no need to go into offending them here. That plus I'm on a "tact" challenge right now and I have no intention of stopping because I'm only on day 2!

But it's all good. Seeing as though you've heard it all before and those who believe in a higher most likely have the same reasons I do, it probably goes without saying on both ends.

But thanks for the encouragement!

 

[Ms Kain]

Not to be funny, but I'm wondering if/how this has limited your dating life? (This is not just directed at you JNSQ, but everyone who feels similarly.)

I dunno....I know that some people just date for fun but don't some people date with the intentions of having fun and finding someone to settle down with?

In that case, if you want your future husband to have a firm belief in a higher power it would be a waste of time to date an atheist. That's sort of like going to a car lot and test driving all of the cars you know that you'd NEVER want to buy. It just doesn't make sense to me.

 

[Ms Kain]

The abridged focus of alot of Jewish holidays are "they tried to kill us, didn't accomplish it, now let's eat".

...and that's what I get for reading this while I'm drinking orange juice! Almost sprayed it all over the place! I LOVE THIS! It needs to be on a shirt!!!!!

 

[jennboo]

What Kiya said. I'd put personal values over religious beliefs. Religious beliefs or lack thereof does not directly dictate a persons values.

Yep, totally agree with this.

 

[ambergirl]

I wouldn't either and since there's probably no way to explain why without my explanation offending the atheists that frequent this board, I'll just co sign on this answer as well.

Well girl since you're doing the tact challenge I'll put out there why I typically don't date atheist.

Now I am not religious, wasn't raised in any religion, and my Dad who is an amazing, wonderful man is a bonafide atheist down to his bones....yet I would prefer not to date an atheist. And I have a few reasons.

Alot of atheists are just as fundamentalist as hardcore Christians, Muslims, etc. Proselytizing is proselytizing whether it's for or against God and it's annoying. They often give off an air of superiority as if people who belief in a higher power are all indoctrinated, simple, or just plain fearful.

They believe everything can be explained by science even though alot of the world's most preminent scientists will be the first to say there's a lot we don't know and that there are some weirdly cool things about the universe that suggest our current tools of science are inadequate to understand. Lastly alot of atheist are quite nihilistic and so I find their world view a bit depressing; particularly those who think the only purpose of life is "survival of the fittest" and the only reaon we're here is because we won the evolution game.

Now I know not all atheist hold those views, but it's not uncommon, so when a man tells me he's an atheist, my interest does wane.

 

[Enyo]

I wouldn't say that I know per se but since I've witnessed how my feelings were met when other people came before me and voiced them on one of the atheist themed threads (I was in search of understanding of what goes on in the minds of atheists) I figured there's no need to go into offending them here.

Well, that might have been because it's not the best idea to go into an atheist thread and voice theistic viewpoints. Just like I wouldn't (mainly because I'm not allowed to) go into the Christian forum and voice my views on theism and religious ideas. As atheists, we do get frustrated when we try and share ideas amongst ourselves and someone has to enter and talk about religion. It's all about context.

I dunno....I know that some people just date for fun but don't some people date with the intentions of having fun and finding someone to settle down with?

In that case, if you want your future husband to have a firm belief in a higher power it would be a waste of time to date an atheist. That's sort of like going to a car lot and test driving all of the cars you know that you'd NEVER want to buy. It just doesn't make sense to me.

I totally agree with that. I learned from very early not to bother dating anyone I would not marry. I see that all the time and I don't see what the point is. Or when people have kids with pretty much anyone, and then complain about it. Um, unless the sex was not consensual, then YOU chose the parent of your child. Be mad at yourself and ONLY yourself.

I guess that's what they call "Dating for Fun" instead of "Dating for the One".

 

[Enyo]

Lastly alot of atheist are quite nihilistic and so I find their world view a bit depressing; particularly those who think the only purpose of life is "survival of the fittest" and the only reaon we're here is because we won the evolution game.

Me in a nutshell! Not the rest of it, which is why I didn't quote it, but that - yup. Though, I think that the root is my bipolar, not my atheism. If we had been granted a mental health subform, I'd post it there. But alas, nails were more important!

 

[Hairsofab]

I wouldn't date someone who is heavily religious. Particular dealbreakers Mormon, Scientology, Jehova Witness, New Age occult type religions etc.

 

[Optimus_Prime]

I wouldn't date a satanist of any variety, and no to atheists and Mormons.

Agnostics are fine. I actually enjoy observing people observe their religions. It's fascinating.

 

[Enyo]

I wouldn't date a satanist of any variety, and no to atheists and Mormons.

Agnostics are fine. I actually enjoy observing people observe their religions. It's fascinating.

It's possible to be both atheist and agnostic. Bene put this chart up before she got banned:

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showpost.php?p=10651684&postcount=672

I am both an atheist and an agnostic.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

I'm Catholic but one of my parents is Methodist and the other is Muslim. They've always taught my sisters and I that all religions contribute something and its something I plan to pass down to my children. Quite honestly it would be weird for me to marry another Catholic and I don't see myself marrying a Christian from another denomination. I like the idea of bringing different religions together. But I don't date agnostics or atheists though. I can't see myself with someone who doesn't believe in a higher power or some form of karma. I can say that for this reason I wouldn't date someone Jewish since they don't believe in a Heaven.

 

[Gigi-07]

I tend to gravitate toward fellow agnostics. Atheists are okay, but some can be arrogant toward non-atheists (from my experience).

The uber-religious are a definite no-go. But it's also hard to find a person who adheres to a religion that does not eventually try to recruit you. So obnoxious.

So yes, it is a deal-breaker if he's religious or atheist (sometimes).

 

[Enyo]

I can say that for this reason I wouldn't date someone Jewish since they don't believe in a Heaven.

Curious, how does this affect your relationship? Do you believe they are going to do bad stuff because they think they're not going anywhere after they die?

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

Curious, how does this affect your relationship? Do you believe they are going to do bad stuff because they think they're not going anywhere after they die?

One of my college roommates was Jewish and she knew I'm Catholic with a Muslim parent so she'd bring up differences and similarities between the 3 religions and the subject of where people go after they die in Judaism came up and she explained it to me in detail and we debated about it. In Judaism after someone dies prayers and rituals are what's supposed to guarantee one's soul a place with God. A person's actions and behavior during life don't matter much. My reasoning for not dating/marrying a Jewish person is the same for atheists. I can't see myself merging with someone without a belief in karma and final judgment after death.

 

[Enyo]

One of my college roommates was Jewish and she knew I'm Catholic with a Muslim parent so she'd bring up differences and similarities between the 3 religions and the subject of where people go after they die in Judaism came up and she explained it to me in detail and we debated about it. In Judaism after someone dies prayers and rituals are what's supposed to guarantee one's soul a place with God. A person's actions and behavior during life don't matter much. My reasoning for not dating/marrying a Jewish person is the same for atheists. I can't see myself merging with someone without a belief in karma and final judgment after death.

Well, that's the Jewish belief. And, I'm uncomfortable with the suggestion that people without the belief of a carrot at the end of the Rope of Life can't be moral. What about all the Christians that just think they need to be saved - actions don't matter? What about all the Muslims who blow themselves (and others) up because they think it'll give them a fast pass to Jannah? What about people who believe in predestination? And you didn't mention Buddhists? Are they unworthy too?

Belief in heaven is not usually directly connected with ones actions. I am an atheist and I don't hold my tongue about how I feel. But I'm also the one giving people rides from school, stopping to let a stranded motorist use my cell phone, helping lost tourists, and volunteering my time in the mental health community - because it's a bytch to be alone in a hospital. I don't believe I will get any supernatural rewards for any of that. I do them because I want to live in a world where people do similar actions. If you want something to happen, you have to start it, you know? Maybe someone will be inspired to pay it forward.

Most people who perform good actions are not thinking of eternal rewards. I'm willing to bet my lefthand on that. Truly. They are just good people who feel compelled to be good for goodness sake. Quite frankly, I find the religious community to be no more helpful or kind than the atheist community. I have lots of issues with atheists, but our morality is not one of those things. Someone on one of my atheist sites had surgery and she had a 3 page thread of people checking up on her and asking if she needed anything. That says volumes right there.

 

[Enyo]

Also, I wanted to point out that according to the Global Peace Index, countries that have more atheists are less violent/more stable. When that study came out it shocked and angered a lot of theists because it went against their idea that lack of religion makes people beasts with no moral compass.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdtwTeBPYQA

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

Well, that's the Jewish belief. And, I'm uncomfortable with the suggestion that people without the belief of a carrot at the end of the Rope of Life can't be moral. What about all the Christians that just think they need to be saved - actions don't matter? What about all the Muslims who blow themselves (and others) up because they think it'll give them a fast pass to Jannah? What about people who believe in predestination? And you didn't mention Buddhists? Are they unworthy too?

Belief in heaven is not usually directly connected with ones actions. I am an atheist and I don't hold my tongue about how I feel. But I'm also the one giving people rides from school, stopping to let a stranded motorist use my cell phone, helping lost tourists, and volunteering my time in the mental health community - because it's a bytch to be alone in a hospital. I don't believe I will get any supernatural rewards for any of that. I do them because I want to live in a world where people do similar actions. If you want something to happen, you have to start it, you know? Maybe someone will be inspired to pay it forward.

Most people who perform good actions are not thinking of eternal rewards. I'm willing to bet my lefthand on that. Truly. They are just good people who feel compelled to be good for goodness sake. Quite frankly, I find the religious community to be no more helpful or kind than the atheist community. I have lots of issues with atheists, but our morality is not one of those things. Someone on one of my atheist sites had surgery and she had a 3 page thread of people checking up on her and asking if she needed anything. That says volumes right there.

Yes, that is the Jewish belief and it's something I fundamentally disagree with. Usually I don't get caught up in religious differences but that is something I'm not sure I could compromise on. This has nothing to do with whether I think someone is a good or bad person because of their religious beliefs. One of my best HS friends was a staunch atheist and some of the people who've caused me the most grief are Christians. But since we are talking about making a life with someone and how religious beliefs affect that, I have to be honest and express what I can and can't live with. Hypocrites exist in every religion and it sounds like you have some issues with religion in general. Don't take them out on me. I'm not even going to comment on the part on Buddhism, fundamentalist Islam because it's moot and you don't know me.

 

[Enyo]

Yes, that is the Jewish belief and it's something I fundamentally disagree with. Usually I don't get caught up in religious differences but that is something I'm not sure I could compromise on. This has nothing to do with whether I think someone is a good or bad person because of their religious beliefs. One of my best HS friends was a staunch atheist and some of the people who've caused me the most grief are Christians. But since we are talking about making a life with someone and how religious beliefs affect that, I have to be honest and express what I can and can't live with. Hypocrites exist in every religion and it sounds like you have some issues with religion in general. Don't take them out on me. I'm not even going to comment on the part on Buddhism, fundamentalist Islam because it's moot and you don't know me.

This is not an attack on your character. It is a correction of a false belief you choose to hold. I felt that you were saying that people had to believe in heaven in order to be moral. It's hard to assume anything else when you say that the simplistic belief of heaven alone is a deal breaker. So, I asked you straight up if you believe people without a belief in heaven would be more likely to be moral. You refused to answer directly, which lead me to believe it was a "yes". If that's not correct, then please correct me.

Citing example of people who do not believe in heaven being moral and the reverse has nothing to do with knowing you as a woman. I honesty cannot understand the correlation between me giving examples of your flawed logic and you thinking my point is somehow moot because I don't know you. I'm lost on that one. I was simply arguing against the statements you made in the manner that I normally do - with facts, statistics, logic, and scientific studies. I had no emotion and lodged no personal attacks against you since this was not an aspersion on your character. I simply sought out to prove how you were wrong.

If you feel that calmly using facts to prove a point is some how a sign of me having issues, then that's on you. I guess we're just different in that regard. But to me, what I did is no different than posting facts about telogen hair phases, the chemical breakdown of a relaxer, or the coating effects of oil to disprove an incorrect statement.