Are Guys Really That Clueless???

[dede1129]

Are Guys Really That Clueless??? **UPDATE**

I am seriously thinking of Blogging on my Dating Adventures because the foolery I am being supplied with is endless!

So this may just be my Pet Peeves but there is this guy I like and we just started dating and so of course I get the "Good Morning Beautiful" texts and everything. Well towards the end of his greeting he is like I will call you after I work out (this is at 6am) Then I don't here from this fool all day until 4pm when he is driving home and yet he has updated his status on Facebook, worked out twice by now, and then later texts me like "hey Babygirl, what's up?"

I am like uh apparantly not consideration dude! Now if this was the first time I wouldn't trip but I am like why do the "check in" in the morning and afternoon but not in the middle of the day? Makes it seem like to me he may send multiple texts in the morning to other women as well at certain times to stay in contact but that's just me. Don't state a particular time that YOU choose to call/text and then miss your own deadline I mean seriously?!

So when he did this last week I made myself seemingly unavailable/busy for days and he went in full force and was texting, calling, leaving messages, ect. When I saw him he was like "I was scared I lost you or that i didn't something wrong"...Uh ya think?!

I should have just mentioned it then but I thought he would "catch on" apparantly not. Uh Communication is key i know but do men really need a manual like that?!

 

[LivingDol1]

Some men need the manual... Because they are clueless. Men are like dogs. They need consistent training!

 

[Keshieshimmer]

I don't mind if a guy I am dating only contacts in the am and pm. I have stuff to do during the day and I really don't need a distraction.

I don't think the dude is clueless. He called you right? You said he worked out twice, so he called after he worked out. haha.

 

[dede1129]

I have things to do as well, the point is we are both in the Army and he stated he will text me after what we call "PT" we both know that it means 9am because that is when we have work call.

And no he has yet to call but he will when he gets off work, if that is the case then why state "after PT...you get it?

Again I say maybe it's just my pet peeve....

I don't mind if a guy I am dating only contacts in the am and pm. I have stuff to do during the day and I really don't need a distraction.

I don't think the dude is clueless. He called you right? You said he worked out twice, so he called after he worked out. haha.

 

[dede1129]

Agreed! i think the key is here is...consistent because I fele like even if I tell him it will happen again

Some men need the manual... Because they are clueless. Men are like dogs. They need consistent training!

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

I don't mind if a guy I am dating only contacts in the am and pm. I have stuff to do during the day and I really don't need a distraction.

I don't think the dude is clueless. He called you right? You said he worked out twice, so he called after he worked out. haha.

Ya, I don't see what the problem is. I'm super busy during the day and not up for any distractions so an early AM or PM call is best.

 

[runwaydream]

ya'll srsly dont see what the problem is? the man SAID he was going to contact her at a certain time and he didn't. it isn't about not contacting her enough, it's about not being considerate enough to do what you say you're going to. if he's already not keeping to his word this early on, i would be hesitant to continue on with him. this is the time he should be putting his best foot forward, and he's already showing you he doesn't care. so f it, and f him.

 

[Theo]

I had something very similar happen to me a few yes back. Same Exact scenario. He would send a "good morning beautiful" text every morning without fail, and then fall off the face of the earth. I had the same suspicions you had.

 

[RoseTintedCheeks]

We all want what we can have....and it goes both ways...

 

[ms.mimi]

I would just ask "why do you tell me every morning that you'll call after working out then don't?" He may not mean anything by it. Or he has good intentions then time kinda slips away or maybe he just means I'll call you later.
Personally I just don't understand why people can't be honest about their feelings? And just say how they feel. If you don't like it say so. Don't make a major case out of it or anything but just matter-of-factly and casually say "hey whats with that" and give him the confused look.
You're a single woman trying to protect yourself from people (men and women) who have less than honorable intentions for you. And that's totally understandable. Consistently saying one thing and doing another is not a good sign.
Now here's where you have to be honest with yourself. If this is the best you can do then, yeah you'll probably have to overlook it. But if you can do better..... After mentioning it to him if he ever did it again I would make myself unavailable AGAIN permanently. Life too short and regardless of what anybody says there are just too many men, to put up with some bull.

 

[Leigh]

He did contact you after PT (several hours after). So next time ask if he means immediately after or when he gets done for the day.

Kinda hard for him to get the message when you didn't tell him there was a problem. Some of us don't like to guess.

 

[chickle]

I feel bad now

I do this too, but only if I want to get off the phone with someone. I'll be like "Oh I am about to hop in the shower, I will call you afterwards" then I don't call. I will be better. I didn't realize this annoyed folks.

 

[dede1129]

THANK YOU! I was like really nobody gets it? But for real this is just an example of what I have encountered and is not a BIG deal overall just like I said a pet peeve that I notice. Not a deal breaker but not something I like either. I understand this may not apply to everyone. I will talk to him about it tonight

ya'll srsly dont see what the problem is? the man SAID he was going to contact her at a certain time and he didn't. it isn't about not contacting her enough, it's about not being considerate enough to do what you say you're going to. if he's already not keeping to his word this early on, i would be hesitant to continue on with him. this is the time he should be putting his best foot forward, and he's already showing you he doesn't care. so f it, and f him.

 

[MzLady78]

I get what you're saying, OP.

It's about doing what you say you're going to do, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem.

This is a pet peeve of mine as well.

 

[dede1129]

OMG so here is an update on ...let's just call him "Bobby"

So I wanted to talk to him so I had the day off today and I ask him what time he gets off and he calls me and says I actually am off too until 3pm. At this point it was 10am so I am like cool I was scheduled to relax my hair today so i did that (will post a thread on that) and tthen I was out of the house by 11:30am. I get a call from him and he is like when you get here park in the visitor's stall and I am like cool. He was like are you on your way? I was like "yeah, why what are you doing?" and he was like "nothing just watching TV waiting on you Baby". So I smile and head out the door and text him when I am 15 mins away. Mind you he stays 40 mins from me! So he texts "ok, park in the visitor's stall, don't forget" By this time it is 12:15pm.

So I get to his apartment, park my car and then go knock on his door and what do I hear.....*CRICKETS* I literally thought I was trippin and had the wrong APT so I call him and No Answer! Mind you he just text me 15 mins ago! So I leave a message, go back to my car, send him a text and say "I am here".....10 mins later I text "Are you gonna answer your door?"....10 mins later I decide let me try ONE more time to knock on his door because I did not wanna drive ALL the way back home and then he call so I go back and knock and he doesn't answer so I text him "WOW, I am leaving" At this point it is 12:40pm.

At 1:06pm he calls me and I glance at the phone like WTF so I dont answer because I literally have not had a chance to process what the hell just happened. Like this dude was telling me wanted to be with me, he liked this about me, he wanted a relationship...blah blah blah. And he couldnt stay awake for 15 mins?! So he texts 5 mins after that and was like "I'm so sorry, I fell asleep baby" Now I am like in SHOCK like really who does that?????!!!

 

[Meemee6223]

I feel bad now

I do this too, but only if I want to get off the phone with someone. I'll be like "Oh I am about to hop in the shower, I will call you afterwards" then I don't call. I will be better. I didn't realize this annoyed folks.

I just realized the same thing. I'll say "I'll call u after I finish cleaning up" but I mean I'll call u later. I guess I'll just start saying "I'll call u later"

Sent from my T-Mobile G2

 

[Meemee6223]

Oh, that's some BS! I would've been livid! That would definitely be the end of the relationship! He would have to try really hard to get me to talk to him again!

Sent from my T-Mobile G2

 

[MzLady78]

OMG so here is an update on ...let's just call him "Bobby"

So I wanted to talk to him so I had the day off today and I ask him what time he gets off and he calls me and says I actually am off too until 3pm. At this point it was 10am so I am like cool I was scheduled to relax my hair today so i did that (will post a thread on that) and tthen I was out of the house by 11:30am. I get a call from him and he is like when you get here park in the visitor's stall and I am like cool. He was like are you on your way? I was like "yeah, why what are you doing?" and he was like "nothing just watching TV waiting on you Baby". So I smile and head out the door and text him when I am 15 mins away. Mind you he stays 40 mins from me! So he texts "ok, park in the visitor's stall, don't forget" By this time it is 12:15pm.

So I get to his apartment, park my car and then go knock on his door and what do I hear.....*CRICKETS* I literally thought I was trippin and had the wrong APT so I call him and No Answer! Mind you he just text me 15 mins ago! So I leave a message, go back to my car, send him a text and say "I am here".....10 mins later I text "Are you gonna answer your door?"....10 mins later I decide let me try ONE more time to knock on his door because I did not wanna drive ALL the way back home and then he call so I go back and knock and he doesn't answer so I text him "WOW, I am leaving" At this point it is 12:40pm.

At 1:06pm he calls me and I glance at the phone like WTF so I dont answer because I literally have not had a chance to process what the hell just happened. Like this dude was telling me wanted to be with me, he liked this about me, he wanted a relationship...blah blah blah. And he couldnt stay awake for 15 mins?! So he texts 5 mins after that and was like "I'm so sorry, I fell asleep baby" Now I am like in SHOCK like really who does that?????!!!

1) He can't even call when he says he's gonna call, why are you driving 40 minutes to see him?

2) This is totally unacceptable, and I would seriously reconsider putting anymore time into this dude.

 

[runwaydream]

1) He can't even call when he says he's gonna call, why are you driving 40 minutes to see him?

2) This is totally unacceptable, and I would seriously reconsider putting anymore time into this dude.

BINGO! i was thinking that but wasn't gonna say it. glad you did first. OP, i don't think that your actions are indication that you truly know your worth. the man can't be bothered to even keep his word with you, but yet you're driving all the way over there, using up YOUR gas and YOUR money to see some dude who is not even acting like you're worth his time? at the risk of being offensive, i wont say more. i'll just leave it at, you shouldn't have been driving 40 min to see him at this stage of the rlshp.