Are Divorced women more desirable to men?

[kandake]

I know that question wasn't for me Winter, but I don't know any men who would begrudgingly get married because they've been pressured...unless they're scrubs....or 23.

Really, I've seen it happen quite often. And I'm talking about people 25-35 yrs old.

You have a couple thats been together for 5+ years the woman's ready to settle down but the guy hasn't popped the question. The woman either gives an ultimatum or just decides flat out that she wants to leave the relationship because its not going anywhere. The guy doesn't want to lose his girl so out of desperation he decides to get married. After being married he then decides that maybe it wasn't a good idea to get married. Before you know it they're divorced because the probably shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.

Thats why I never did and I never will try to convince a man to marry me. Or let a man sucker me into marrying him because he's afraid of loosing me. Its not worth it in the long run. He has to truly want to married. And in my case, that didn't work out either.

 

[winterinatl]

A lot of the things these ladies are sharing are so true! My single friends? Pushing late 30's and never been married. My divorced friends? On their 2nd and 3rd marriages.

Marriage has a way of "breaking in" a person to reality... No disrespect meant to anyone single because my single friends are beautiful and total catches! BUT...a divorced woman may be perceived to be more grounded. There's some things about the institution of marriage that just refine a person...male or female.

Also, a woman who knows how to be a wife is appealing to men. And the older a divorced woman gets...the more driven she becomes about her own self preservation. I believe this is attractive to men. That CHASE ensues....she can take him or leave him because she's not pressed....She's like "NEXT"!

Dude did say, some guys think the woman may be more "settled" as he put it

 

[kandake]

A lot of the things these ladies are sharing are so true! My single friends? Pushing late 30's and never been married. My divorced friends? On their 2nd and 3rd marriages.

Marriage has a way of "breaking in" a person to reality... No disrespect meant to anyone single because my single friends are beautiful and total catches! BUT...a divorced woman may be perceived to be more grounded. There's some things about the institution of marriage that just refine a person...male or female.

Also, a woman who knows how to be a wife is appealing to men. And the older a divorced woman gets...the more driven she becomes about her own self preservation. I believe this is attractive to men. That CHASE ensues....she can take him or leave him because she's not pressed....She's like "NEXT"!

I agree with what you've said. Especially the bolded.

 

[winterinatl]

Really, I've seen it happen quite often. And I'm talking about people 25-35 yrs old.

You have a couple thats been together for 5+ years the woman's ready to settle down but the guy hasn't popped the question. The woman either gives an ultimatum or just decides flat out that she wants to leave the relationship because its not going anywhere. The guy doesn't want to lose his girl so out of desperation he decides to get married. After being married he then decides that maybe it wasn't a good idea to get married. Before you know it they're divorced because the probably shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.

Thats why I never did and I never will try to convince a man to marry me. Or let a man sucker me into marrying him because he's afraid of loosing me. Its not worth it in the long run. He has to truly want to married. And in my case, that didn't work out either.

Neither would I. I would even be hesitant to get married if he wanted to after I got preggo accidentally - I'd be worried he didn't *really* want to marry me - I don't want the marriage proposal out of duress.

 

[kandake]

Neither would I. I would even be hesitant to get married if he wanted to after I got preggo accidentally - I'd be worried he didn't *really* want to marry me - I don't want the marriage proposal out of duress.

I've seen this happen too. Of course you have those marriages that work out but I've had guys flat out tell me that they only married their wives because they were pregnant. I just don't get the point... well I understand the logic but thats definitely not a good foundation for a healthy/successful marriage.

 

[Connie]

As a long-time divorcee, I found this thread very interesting.

 

[frizzy]

Folks (men & women) that have been married multiple times in their short adult life, looks like they have a character flaw to me. Anybody (like Auntie ) that has been divorced 3,4 & 5 times, IMO has issues.

Some people are good at "courting" dating and reeling them in, but not many are capable of cultivating and sustaining a long and healthy relationship.

Some people don't take marriage seriously either, and treat it like a piece of gum, once the sweetness is gone they discard it.

I would take a serious look at anyone who is not a widow(er) or a senior citizen 55 and up working on their 3rd divorce or marriage, and the people that date them.

 

[DragonPearl]

I think this is more so if the woman is in the older age range.

For instance, if a woman is 40 and divorced, she might be more desirable to some men than a woman who is 40 and never married. In their mind, these men think: Umm, she is 40 and NEVER married! What's wrong with her? She couldn't convince any man to walk her down the aisle? She mustn't be that good.

It is a ridiculous train of thought. The never-married older woman may have exercised better judgement and shown more maturity in staying single that the divorcee who married an abusive husband because she was desperate to get married.

 

[winterinatl]

Folks (men & women) that have been married multiple times in their short adult life, looks like they have a character flaw to me. Anybody (like Auntie ) that has been divorced 3,4 & 5 times, IMO has issues.

Some people are good at "courting" dating and reeling them in, but not many are capable of cultivating and sustaining a long and healthy relationship.

Some people don't take marriage seriously either, and treat it like a piece of gum, once the sweetness is gone they discard it.

I would take a serious look at anyone who is not a widow(er) or a senior citizen 55 and up working on their 3rd divorce or marriage, and the people that date them.

I like that quote and think you other points were well put, too.

 

[gn1g]

....and a man just told me:

"You keep talking about it like the MAN is the one that wanna get married. Don't no dudes wanna get married. Probably the divorced chick is pushing new dudes to get married, and they went along with it. Or she got pregnant and they married her because of that. But you are forgetting she was married once and wants that again."

I didn't really think of it that way.

That's the biggest LIE!! Men love being married. The older they get the more desperate they get. IMHO

 

[adf23]

Maybe the men figure these women are "marriage material." I know some of my female friends will look at an older guy and think something is "wrong" if he hasn't been married. So they would sooner go out with a divorcee than a serial bachelor. So maybe men do that to us as well? I don't know ...

Agreeing...........you see it everyday, a divorced women remarrying 1 yr after her divorce. I agree, maybe the divorcee is more desirable, as she isnt willing to play games, and appears more elusive to the man. All of the proving that she is capable of being a wife is unnessary, as she has been "spoken for" before.

 

[Maynard]

I asked my SO. He said HECK no.

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

Maybe divorced women just have the know-how on how to get married more so than single, never-been-married women.

Like I'm assuming if there's any know-how on what men like, especially from their first marriage, I would think doing whatever worked in the previous relationship - as far as getting into a committed relationship, getting him to see you are wifey material, getting that engagement ring - would work again as far as getting yet another proposal.

However, these same women may just not have the know-how on how to stay married.

 

[Maynard]

Maybe divorced women just have the know-how on how to get married more so than single, never-been-married women.

Like I'm assuming if there's any know-how on what men like, especially from their first marriage, I would think doing whatever worked in the previous relationship - as far as getting into a committed relationship, getting him to see you are wifey material, getting that engagement ring - would work again as far as getting yet another proposal.

However, these same women may just not have the know-how on how to stay married.

That's what I was thinking. They know how to get the man, but they dont know how to keep one. I wonder if men are thinking that...

 

[Butterfly08]

Folks (men & women) that have been married multiple times in their short adult life, looks like they have a character flaw to me. Anybody (like Auntie ) that has been divorced 3,4 & 5 times, IMO has issues.

Some people are good at "courting" dating and reeling them in, but not many are capable of cultivating and sustaining a long and healthy relationship.

Some people don't take marriage seriously either, and treat it like a piece of gum, once the sweetness is gone they discard it.

I would take a serious look at anyone who is not a widow(er) or a senior citizen 55 and up working on their 3rd divorce or marriage, and the people that date them.

This is EXACTLY how I think, which is why the general consensus on this thread is surprising to me. I wouldn't want to date a man who had been divorced 3 -5 times! Maybe once, but if he couldn't stay married to 3 or 4 other women, what makes me think he'd stay married to me?!

 

[jrae]

This is EXACTLY how I think, which is why the general consensus on this thread is surprising to me. I wouldn't want to date a man who had been divorced 3 -5 times! Maybe once, but if he couldn't stay married to 3 or 4 other women, what makes me think he'd stay married to me?!

If we're talking about second marriages, the general consensus would seem plausible to me...

 

[MizAvalon]

That's the biggest LIE!! Men love being married. The older they get the more desperate they get. IMHO

Please say it again! Especially if they want kids.

 

[FlowerHair]

This is EXACTLY how I think, which is why the general consensus on this thread is surprising to me. I wouldn't want to date a man who had been divorced 3 -5 times! Maybe once, but if he couldn't stay married to 3 or 4 other women, what makes me think he'd stay married to me?!

ITA. Please don't marry anyone that has been married 3-5 times. Your odds are slim to none.

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

That's the biggest LIE!! Men love being married. The older they get the more desperate they get. IMHO

Can you introduce me to some of these men? Seriously, I don't know any.

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

Here's a saying.... Maybe some women are just the marrying type?

I don't know what that means but I heard other people say it. Maybe these women are the "marrying" type and men that want to get married find them and wife her up.

 

[winterinatl]

Please say it again! Especially if they want kids.

Girl isn't that the truth?

The man I was dating last year will still talk about how he's 'right here' when I start to whine about being single and not having a family.

In beefy deep man voice, "When you're ready, you know where to find me!"

I think most of these men get so baby crazed when they are thinking of marriage all that's in their heads is sugarplums and fairies, and rarely anything actually pertaining to a sustainable marriage. Worse than women, sometimes.

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

Please say it again! Especially if they want kids.

If this the case, why we have so many OOW kids?

 

[gn1g]

Can you introduce me to some of these men? Seriously, I don't know any.

I know a gang of 'em. The real question should be introduce me to a good one. Most of the ones I know and I can rattle off about 7 -12 are barely making it or they are dependent upon someone else to take care of them, grown freakin men! But that's another topic, I can't get ready for sorry bros.

 

[gn1g]

Very good topic. I think that some people that have been married several times are not necessarily flawed they just pick the wrong person.

Also A scripture comes to mind:He that finds "a WIFE" finds a good thang!

I've always felt like a wife even when I was not married. I've met guys and they say things like you are wife material, your are the marrying kind etc. I think men detect it.

 

[CandiceC]

Girl isn't that the truth?

The man I was dating last year will still talk about how he's 'right here' when I start to whine about being single and not having a family.

In beefy deep man voice, "When you're ready, you know where to find me!"

I think most of these men get so baby crazed when they are thinking of marriage all that's in their heads is sugarplums and fairies, and rarely anything actually pertaining to a sustainable marriage. Worse than women, sometimes.

Do the baby crazed men have some type of primal instinct to reproduce?


When my brother was engaged they were talking about having kids soon after. Now the realities of marriage have set in and he wants to wait on the kids.

 

[Ms_Delikate]

(divorced woman sitting back reading)

Make that two divorced women...LOL

 

[Ms_Delikate]

I was just coming here to post the same thing. Put a ring on your left hand and it's like catnip for some men. I went on a shopping vacation with a single friend and she finally asked to borrow my ring...

I noticed the same thing when I was married and my sister is hotter than me...My wedding ring was like a magneterplexed.

 

[Ms_Delikate]

I am exhausted just thinking about that. One more time for me. If it don't work, I am a gypsy thereafter.

you and me both...

 

[winterinatl]

Very good topic. I think that some people that have been married several times are not necessarily flawed they just pick the wrong person.

Also A scripture comes to mind:He that finds "a WIFE" finds a good thang!

I've always felt like a wife even when I was not married. I've met guys and they say things like you are wife material, your are the marrying kind etc. I think men detect it.

Some might say, that is the flaw itself, the inability to 'pick the right person'.