winterinatl
All natural!
I need a man's input on this one....the ones I know have ulterior motives so won't someone ask one of their dudes? 
Are Divorced women more desirable to men?
- Thread starter winterinatl
- Start date
I was just coming here to post the same thing. Put a ring on your left hand and it's like catnip for some men. I went on a shopping vacation with a single friend and she finally asked to borrow my ring...
basicallyYeah see this is pretty much where I was going....like dang, should I be wearing a ring, just to pull em in a bit faster?erplexed
erplexedNot to put a damper on this thread but just b/c divorced women (possibly) are in relationships/marriages fater then single women doesn't mean it's better.
I agree w the general statements in this thread but maybe some of these women have low standards for a man and marriage.
Just b/c you're married or in a relationship doesn't mean it's good
LaPetiteCoquette
New Member
I need a man's input on this one....the ones I know have ulterior motives so won't someone ask one of their dudes?
When honey comes back with my iphone I will ask him. I ask him an OT question at least once a day.
winterinatl
All natural!
@ Ella, you are right it doesn't mean it's any better.
@ La petite: I'm tickled my OT gets the hubby input for the day
@ La petite: I'm tickled my OT gets the hubby input for the day
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blasianbeauty
New Member
This is an interesting perspective, as well as what others have mentioned. I think that as long as the woman isn't bitter from the divorce and is fairly attractive and knows how to treat a man, she'll be just fine. I don't think that divorced people are the ones that are really labled as being baggage. The ones who catch the most flack are those with one or more kids and/or having multiple "baby momas/daddies".
As someone else has mentioned, a divorcee with no kids is as good as someone coming out of a long term relationship with no kids. I'm not saying that it is hard for a man or woman WITH children to find a mate, but when there are a lot of children that comes with drama (the mother or father that doesn't want to let go or is always calling five times a day about the kid/s), then there's the problem.
LaPetiteCoquette
New Member
This is an interesting perspective, as well as what others have mentioned. I think that as long as the woman isn't bitter from the divorce and is fairly attractive and knows how to treat a man, she'll be just fine. I don't think that divorced people are the ones that are really labled as being baggage. The ones who catch the most flack are those with one or more kids and/or having multiple "baby momas/daddies".
So you think it's the lack of kids that helps more so than the status as divorced or not? Perhaps ... winterinatl is right, though, we need to ask our mens.
blasianbeauty
New Member
Good point.
basically
Not to put a damper on this thread but just b/c divorced women (possibly) are in relationships/marriages fater then single women doesn't mean it's better.
I agree w the general statements in this thread but maybe some of these women have low standards for a man and marriage.
Just b/c you're married or in a relationship doesn't mean it's good
blasianbeauty
New Member
In some cases, but not all of the time. I do know two divorced women that left the marriage with a few kids - one has remarried and the other is engaged. Hell...my mother was married to my father for thirty plus years and had FIVE kids and got remarried the next year.
So, having kids all of the time is not an issue. BUT - for men who want kids and a family of their own (and women for that matter) will frown on people who already have children. My step father has three children as well, so maybe it wasn't that big of a deal for them (my mother and her husband). But this subject isn't cut and dry. It just depends on the man and what he does/does not want and what HE considers as being baggage. We are all here just speculating...
DragonPearl
Well-Known Member
In some cases, but not all of the time. I do know two divorced women that left the marriage with a few kids - one has remarried and the other is engaged. Hell...my mother was married to my father for thirty plus years and had FIVE kids and got remarried the next year.
My thoughts exactly, just too many variables to have a real conversation about. Our answers are based on a few people we know.
JFemme
Well-Known Member
blasianbeauty
New Member
Exactly. Our opinions will be based on people in our immediate circles and every man wants something different. Some men may frown upon women who's divorced. But then there are some who wants a woman that has that type of experience as well. Some men may want women with children because he LOVES kids and would love to be a step father, when there are others who want their own.
Then of course there will be some women here who will do the "one upmanship" behavior and say that divorced women or those with kids are tainted, and that "they" are the best because of X, Y and Z, but won't admit to doing or have done A, B and C. 
Yep. Hmm. I guess it takes out the "What's wrong with her?" factor cause they know she was occupied in a marriage. Just the same as men being comfortable with women with kids.
Also/Or
Maybe divorced women are more blunt about what they want. If they want to get remarried, they might be bold enough to say so and not deal with the BS some men play. None of the years and years with no real commitment- unless they want it that way.
I really came to see the bear wiggle... but I like this response right here.
tocktick
Well-Known Member
maybe with men of a certain age or men who have already gone through divorce. i've personally never heard/seen of this personally but i'm sure there are many divorced women getting re-married quickly. maybe it's because they are not willing to play the dating game for too long and generally want to get married or be in committed relationships again quickly. just a theory...
shahala
Well-Known Member
I've noticed this a alot. I've heard many of my single friends saying this too.
My husband always said that if he had a choice between a woman in her thirties who has not been married and one who is divorced, he would pick the divorcee. He said that with divorced woman, he knows that some man wanted her enough to marry her, so something must be right.
My husband always said that if he had a choice between a woman in her thirties who has not been married and one who is divorced, he would pick the divorcee. He said that with divorced woman, he knows that some man wanted her enough to marry her, so something must be right.
blasianbeauty
New Member
I've heard women say this about men who hasn't been married yet either (once they reach a certain age). I would take into account WHY the person decided not to get married early on. Maybe he or she wanted to focus on school AND being established in their career first before getting married and starting a family - nothing wrong with that. But if bruh man is pushing 35 to 40 and hasn't been married just because he wasn't ready to settle down and/or he has a ton of financial problems will be a whole notha' story.
It just all depends.
winterinatl
All natural!
LaPetiteCoquette
New Member
Ahaha! My theory has been supported by a real man..... What faulty logic, though
DH came back with my iphone. Woo-hoo. Me likey!
Anyway, back on topic -- he said that if a man really likes woman, then it wouldn't matter if she was married previously or not. Very PC, very boring, darn do-gooder! I wanted something a little more scandalous than that.
winterinatl
All natural!
And at the end of the day, what he said is the darn truth.....DH came back with my iphone. Woo-hoo. Me likey!
Anyway, back on topic -- he said that if a man really likes woman, then it wouldn't matter if she was married previously or not. Very PC, very boring, darn do-gooder! I wanted something a little more scandalous than that.
*sigh*
Boooooooooo!!!
LaPetiteCoquette
New Member
And at the end of the day, what he said is the darn truth.....
*sigh*
Boooooooooo!!!
Yeah, that's what I said to him. I was prodding him for more and he was like
get out of my face. But you did win LHCF question of the day in my house.
UmSumayyah
Well-Known Member
interesting idea... :scratchch
winterinatl
All natural!
....and a man just told me:
"You keep talking about it like the MAN is the one that wanna get married. Don't no dudes wanna get married. Probably the divorced chick is pushing new dudes to get married, and they went along with it. Or she got pregnant and they married her because of that. But you are forgetting she was married once and wants that again."
I didn't really think of it that way.
"You keep talking about it like the MAN is the one that wanna get married. Don't no dudes wanna get married. Probably the divorced chick is pushing new dudes to get married, and they went along with it. Or she got pregnant and they married her because of that. But you are forgetting she was married once and wants that again."
I didn't really think of it that way.
Much2much41
Well-Known Member
I think so. Women with kids, too.
winterinatl
All natural!
Well....? Whatcha' thinkin' ? Dude thinks folks like you pester their men folk into marrying them again.
Lord I am soooo awake at 1:30 am ......
Well....? Whatcha' thinkin' ? Dude thinks folks like you pester their men folk into marrying them again.
Lord I am soooo awake at 1:30 am ......
Well... I have never heard of this concept. And after you ladies have shared your thoughts, I still don't understand it.
I have to say that by biggest fear of being divorced was that prospective mates would think that I was "tainted/used/damaged/had etc" I never knew that there was such a thing as a divorced woman being a more desirable candidate.
I also don't understand how someone could jump into another marriage so easily. I'm still at the point where I don't even want to be married again. I'm sure that'll change. Then again I don't know. I think I'm straight on the marriage thing its not something that I need to do anytime soon.
You are silly by the way.
MissYocairis
Well-Known Member
MissYocairis
Well-Known Member
Well....? Whatcha' thinkin' ? Dude thinks folks like you pester their men folk into marrying them again.
Lord I am soooo awake at 1:30 am ......
I know that question wasn't for me Winter, but I don't know any men who would begrudgingly get married because they've been pressured...unless they're scrubs....or 23.
winterinatl
All natural!
I know that question wasn't for me Winter, but I don't know any men who would begrudgingly get married because they've been pressured...unless they're scrubs....or 23.
@kandi you right I'm feeling silly tonight and I'm not even drinking
MissYocairis
Well-Known Member
A lot of the things these ladies are sharing are so true! My single friends? Pushing late 30's and never been married. My divorced friends? On their 2nd and 3rd marriages.
Marriage has a way of "breaking in" a person to reality... No disrespect meant to anyone single because my single friends are beautiful and total catches! BUT...a divorced woman may be perceived to be more grounded. There's some things about the institution of marriage that just refine a person...male or female.
Also, a woman who knows how to be a wife is appealing to men. And the older a divorced woman gets...the more driven she becomes about her own self preservation. I believe this is attractive to men. That CHASE ensues....she can take him or leave him because she's not pressed....She's like "NEXT"!
Marriage has a way of "breaking in" a person to reality... No disrespect meant to anyone single because my single friends are beautiful and total catches! BUT...a divorced woman may be perceived to be more grounded. There's some things about the institution of marriage that just refine a person...male or female.
Also, a woman who knows how to be a wife is appealing to men. And the older a divorced woman gets...the more driven she becomes about her own self preservation. I believe this is attractive to men. That CHASE ensues....she can take him or leave him because she's not pressed....She's like "NEXT"!
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