Approaching men--Do you?

[amwcah]

I have been wondering this for the last couple of days. If I see a man I am interested in, I usually just admire him from a distance and hope he looks my way. I really don't feel comfortable approaching a man because I feel he may be disinterested, and try to use me for whatever. Does anyone else feel this way?

BTW, the past three weeks I have been approached by all the wrong type of men. They have been significantly younger than me--try 22, 28, and 31(not so significant) when I am almost 36. The 22 and 31 year olds weren't employed or looking for employment. They are were involved in illegal activity. After two days, the 22 year old wanted to know whether or not he was someone I could develop a serious relationship. I tried avoiding the question, but he was persistent. I told him that he didn't have a job. I continued talking(on the cell phone) and noticed he was not responding. Don't you know this fool hung up on me. I immediately called him back to confirm him hanging up and he did. He continued by stating that me being a teacher and what I drove meant nothing, and he has made more money than I would ever make in a lifetime. I could not get a word in and then he hung up. I couldn't believe that mess. He actually got made because he doesn't have goals. Geee!

For those ladies who do approach men, what are your tactics(pick up lines)? Do things normally work out if you make the first move?

 

[Determined22]

I've always been the type of woman to approach a man first. I figure, a close mouth doesn't get fed. If I'm interested in meeting someone, I'll walk up, say hi, and try to spark up a conversation based on what's going on. Example: if we're in a bookstore, maybe I'll comment on the books he's looking at. I'll introduce myself and take it from there. Most men are so used to approaching women that they are relieved that they didn't have to face the possible rejection.

Most of the time if I approach a guy, we'll at least have a first date and then see what happens from there. There have been a couple times when I've approached a guy who was in a relationship, but that doesn't happen very often.

I say go for it...what's the worst that can happen?

 

[ThickHair]

I am straight hetrosexual but it never fails at least once or twice a week a woman will hit on me. The 2nd date with my new friend a woman tried to pick me up, winking at me and approaching me trying to holla when my friend stepped away for a moment. I told him we had to go and I explained to him the issues with women trying to pick me up. I don't think I give off the lesbian vibe and dare I say, I don't have a butchy look. I am aware that some lesbians do not look butch but what gives?

I AM STRICKLY D*CKLY.

 

[MizAvalon]

No, I don't. I'm entirely too shy for that. The other night at the gym a really cute guy came in and I would have loved to have talked to him.

 

[Maynard]

I have never appraoched a man.

I consider myself outgoing as well as assertive, but when it comes to relationships, I consider myself to be very old school.

Call me stuck-up, conceited rolleyes or what have you, but I don't feel like that's something that I have to do. I am pretty good about giving eye contact and getting attention from the man that I am attracted to to get them to come over to me.

I like to be chased....

>>>Plays "Conceited" by Remy Ma<<<<

 

[dlewis]

I AM STRICKLY D*CKLY.

I like that. I have women that hit on me, not often.

I have never approached a guy. There way the WOW! guy that time. (As I was coming out of the restroom, here at my office a beautiful attorney was coming up the hall and before I knew it I said, wow. He smiled and preceeded to the conferenced room.)

If you want to get to know him I would appoach him.

 

[Maynard]

I am straight hetrosexual but it never fails at least once or twice a week a woman will hit on me. The 2nd date with my new friend a woman tried to pick me up, winking at me and approaching me trying to holla when my friend stepped away for a moment. I told him we had to go and I explained to him the issues with women trying to pick me up. I don't think I give off the lesbian vibe and dare I say, I don't have a butchy look. I am aware that some lesbians do not look butch but what gives?

I AM STRICKLY D*CKLY.

That's sucks. Unwanted attention from the opposite sex is bad enough, but (to me) it's especially bad when its from the same sex (and you dont swing that way!)

I was approached by a woman once. I was coming from the airport and SO not looking like my normal self. I would say that day I looked what would be considered "butchy" I made it clear to her (I wasn't nasty tho) that I am (inserting ThickHair's quote of the day)

 

[cocoberry10]

I don’t approach guys. Call me old fashioned, but I really believe that men like the chase. I watch my friends that approach guys, and honestly, I haven’t seen the value in it. I think guys lose respect when they didn’t approach you first. How do you even know if they would have been interested in you or if you are their type? I mean, if he likes you, he will (and I mean will) find you. I’ve had guys go through interesting “channels” to get my contact info. And I didn’t even know they were interested in me (which is why they didn’t have my number). But trust me, when a man really wants you, he will not let you go. Even guys that play games with girls. If he thinks he will lose you, he will not let you go

 

[caltron]

I don't directly approach guys, partly because I'm shy and partly because I believe men need to feel like the pursuer. I DO try to give the guys that I am interested in hints to let them know that I would like them to ask me out. It doesn't take much to get a guy to approach you if he's at all interested.

 

[CoCoRica]

I like to be approached, chased, etc.

However if he embodies everything I like in a man, height, weight, dashing good looks, then I'm on it. I cant let him get away and sometimes you just got to stare them down and do not break eye contact and if it's mutual, one of you is going to approach the other.

With that being said, what I like and what is available are two different things.


Maybe I shld lighten up on the requirements???? HMMMM.......... I think not!!!!


Trust

 

[glamazon386]

I've approached men a few times. But usually if you're exchanging glances, a simple hello or a wave will make them come over and speak to you.

 

[PinkPeony]

I can easily flirt with a man but I'm raised to traditional to approach a man.

 

[luvSLave]

My friend has no problems approaching men. She doesn't do it all the time, but she won't hesitate if she sees someone she likes and doesn't "feel like playing the game" (her words). She's really attractive so I don't know if her experience is typical, but the guys always say they would have approached her but were afraid to. After the initial meet she falls back and lets them do all the chasing.

 

[foxxymami]

Yes I have and will. However I like him to chase me once it's established that I have my eye on him

 

[MzLady78]

Generally no, just because I'm very shy, but I am being the agressive one when it comes to certain brotha that I have my eye on right now.

There's another guy that I saw at the train station one day, and lawd, he was FIONE!!!! He smiled and spoke to me, I smiled back and kept it moving but I WISH I had stopped. I haven't seen him since.

 

[Ms Red]

I've never approached a man but this thread is interesting.

 

[SouthernTease]

I've approached men a few times. But usually if you're exchanging glances, a simple hello or a wave will make them come over and speak to you.

I concur!!! Work your magic... he'll come to you.
It's all in the eyes.

 

[glamazon386]

My friend has no problems approaching men. She doesn't do it all the time, but she won't hesitate if she sees someone she likes and doesn't "feel like playing the game" (her words). She's really attractive so I don't know if her experience is typical, but the guys always say they would have approached her but were afraid to. After the initial meet she falls back and lets them do all the chasing.

Guys always tell me this after the fact. That they were afraid to approach me but were glad that they did or that I spoke. I have a habit of looking mean.

 

[amwcah]

I am straight hetrosexual but it never fails at least once or twice a week a woman will hit on me. The 2nd date with my new friend a woman tried to pick me up, winking at me and approaching me trying to holla when my friend stepped away for a moment. I told him we had to go and I explained to him the issues with women trying to pick me up. I don't think I give off the lesbian vibe and dare I say, I don't have a butchy look. I am aware that some lesbians do not look butch but what gives?

I AM STRICKLY D*CKLY.

I know that's right!

 

[amwcah]

No, I don't. I'm entirely too shy for that. The other night at the gym a really cute guy came in and I would have loved to have talked to him.

Girl, I am shy also. Maybe this is part of my problem.

 

[adf23]

No i never did when I was single. If someone was looking, I would smile and look off. If they didnt come up after that, then it was over.

 

[amwcah]

Guys always tell me this after the fact. That they were afraid to approach me but were glad that they did or that I spoke. I have a habit of looking mean.

OMG! That's me right there! Guys will approach me and ask me why I look so mean. I guess it is just my look.

 

[amwcah]

Thanks ladies! I'm going out this weekend, so I'll practice some of your suggestions if I see someone I'm interested in.

 

[caribeandiva]

I do NOT approach men. I learned the hard way to let men come to me. If he's interested he always does.

 

[glamazon386]

OMG! That's me right there! Guys will approach me and ask me why I look so mean. I guess it is just my look.

Don't you hate that?

 

[Vet27]

I am glad someone posted this topic. I recently seen someone who was cute, we made eye contact and I now wish I would have said something. you never no what may come out of it. I think I have the mean look also, i am going to at least try to smile and wave.