Anyone thinking of throwing in the "NATURAL" towel for 2012?

Smiley79

Smiley79

Well-Known Member
Me and my newly natural friends were chatting over the weekend and half of us were ready to throw in the towel while the others were willing to hang in there. :yep: We got to chatting at how challenging being natural is for one person versus the other. Any of you naturals thinking of signing off and going back to relaxing or texlaxing for 2012?

Me first! Well, after one year of being natural, my verdict so far is that my hair did better when it was relaxed. After a year, my hair is only 3 inches long from a full big chop (like a fade). On top of that, my hair is still dry as a rock unless its soaking wet with water or product. That's a bit disappointing to me considering I've done everything that I should. I'm not going to make any hasty decisions but I'm not a happy natural at the moment. So I've been on the fence as to what to do. :spinning:
 
I am a maybe unwelcome intruder in this thread lol but please please make your decision once you have found your perfect regimen as a natural, especially if your hair is dry.You don't want to regret your decision whatever you choose, since you have worked for a year trying to fugure it out. Finding something that screams moisture is difficult and it was a long path for me (it took me more than 1 year and I then realized that my hair didn't enjoy humectants in and as leave ins, that aloe juice only worked with oil for me, that butters are tricky, that castor oil existed, that conditioner is the best moisturizer for me, that I need to add a little bit of water everyday, and so on). But one thing I really think is that there is something easy that can drench your hair in moisture and it's just waiting for you to find it.
Ok, that's my unrequested opinion LOL but of course good luck whatever your choice is!
 
^^^^ I agree. I was natural for about a year when I first texlaxed and I regretted it. Part of the reason I texlaxed was b/c it was so dry. Not sure of the scab hair theory, but it did seem to take a while before my hair started to flourish. One year wasn't enough. About 6 inches later-- 6 inches in the trash can b/c I BCd again-- I said I'd try again, perfect my regiment and give it at least 2 years (then, if I decided to go back to a chemical, it wouldn't be about length). Jane Carter Nourish Shine and her leave in became my friend. I added aloe to it or sprayed my hair with Aussie Moist. Watering my hair daily helped me. I sealed with Carter's "grease". Giovanni conditioners and leave in were great, too. ORS Replenishing Pak Deep Conditioner + steam = great hair. I still love that DC. Eventually, I found what worked for me and it wasn't so rigid.

I do wish I had those 6 inches back, but I don't. I am texlaxed now, but everything I do with my hair makes more sense b/c I truly understand it in its natural state. I needed that time. I miss my natural hair at times, but this is what worked for me and my life, right now. It took time to figure that out.

Wishing you the best no matter what you decide.

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2
 
Giving up after only a year? It's really not enough time to find what works for you, as stated in the OP.

Good luck!
 
Being natural is not easy, I know what your going thru. That took alot of courage to chop all your hair off. Wow you are brave. I've been natural for 7 years so I know how hard it is finding the right products:regimen for your hair.

The best advice I can give is to not jump on any bandwagons but just experiment with your hair. Alot if trial and error being natural it takes time. For me the minute I stopped trying to you what everyone else did on forums, blogs, YouTube, ect my hair thrived. Pay attention to your hair and slowly you'll learn what it likes or doesn't like. If a product or method doesn't work stop using it and try something else.

I hope this helps and even if you decide to relax again its fine whatever works for you! Just as long as your pleased with how your hair looks.
 
Uh UHHHHHHHH!!! ::nono:: No no no no no. I had given myself nearly a year the last time before I ran back to the perm and I regretted it because my scalp is in even worse condition now. 3 years later and I'm back to natural and this time I have this site and a lot of support. I'm just waiting it out and working on finding a good regi. Hang in there OP! I'm 11 months and know how you feel but give it some more time (people with 3 years of natural hair always make me drool so I made a pact not to relax until I've given it at least 3 yrs lol)
 
Curlykale said:
I am a maybe unwelcome intruder in this thread lol but please please make your decision once you have found your perfect regimen as a natural, especially if your hair is dry.You don't want to regret your decision whatever you choose, since you have worked for a year trying to fugure it out. Finding something that screams moisture is difficult and it was a long path for me (it took me more than 1 year and I then realized that my hair didn't enjoy humectants in and as leave ins, that aloe juice only worked with oil for me, that butters are tricky, that castor oil existed, that conditioner is the best moisturizer for me, that I need to add a little bit of water everyday, and so on). But one thing I really think is that there is something easy that can drench your hair in moisture and it's just waiting for you to find it.
Ok, that's my unrequested opinion LOL but of course good luck whatever your choice is!
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Oh No, I thank you for sharing your unrequested opinion! lol. :grin: I go through this every year but 3 inches of dry hair after a year has just left me bitter, but I was surprised at how many naturals I know that are ready to calling it quits so i was just seeing if my LHCF family are having similar feelings or are succeeding really well as a natural. But I welcome and thank you for the feedback. :)
 
Yea, and I keep remembering WHY I went natural in the first place. I had some spots throuout my hair and assumed that it was due to relaxers and improper weaving. So my choices were to either become a natural or become a long term stretcher (relaxing 2 times a year only). So I after I decided to do the big chop, I said let me give natural a try first, and then Plan B would be becoming a long term stretcher. So seeing where I am now, with my hair looking and feeling like decades old carpet, you KNOW I was considering just becoming a long term stretcher. I do have to admit though that right after a cowash or water spray my hair is nice puffy natural, but within minutes my hair acts brand new and it's just irritating. I can't list the different products that I've used, combinations, techniques and so forth. I've kept it simple, I've kept it complicated, I've kept it all! lol. Oh well. Im not stressing over it like I have in my past threads about my confusing hair dillemmas...I just want to ENJOY my hair regardless of what I'm doing with it. And I frankly I haven't enjoyed my natural journey as much as I thought I would. I just like the chemical-free aspect of it and thats all.
 
I am a lifer with my natural hair, but DO WHATS RIGht FOR U!! Natural hair isn't for everyone so don't let anyone make you feel bad for pressing or relaxing. It's your hair!!
Sometimes I see natural hair I just want to relax and some relaxed hair I wished went natural but it aint my hair so....
 
i did it and have no regrets. i am actually enjoying my hair right now and it is doing alright. the longer my hair got as a natural the more i stopped enjoying it. it became a chore. i had fun when it was 5 inches and under. but you gotta do what works for you. don't let nobody in here talkin you into something you are not feelin at the moment. hell' it's hair, you can always go back.
 
If you want to relax, go ahead. I'm tempted to sometimes but you also should take into mind that you have probably perfected your relaxed regimen over time, so you won't have a natural regimen ready immediately. It took me a long time to find what works on my head as well. (not a year though. like...6 months).

Buuuuut like others said, as your hair grows, your hair will get harder (I'm finding this out now at year 3, twisting is a pain in the *ss)

If your hair is dry, try products like Jane carter, or qhemet burdock or heavy cream. I found that qhemet products never let me down. And also keep in mind that depending on your hair type, some dryness is going to happen. It just comes part and parcel with it.
 
bronzebomb said:
I'm not throwing the towel in, but I have considered pressing it. My hair shrinks about 50-65%
Click to expand...

This what I'm considering to do in 2012. I have been natural for 3 years and even though I love being natural, the ssks are getting the best of me. I'm lucky to already have my stapl products so I don't suffer from dry hair but I feel I need to make a personal change in terms of my natural hair and my personal needs. I'm currently trying formulate a new reggie that I would use in 2012 that woul include mostly pressing my hair. Natural hair is not for everyone.
 
I am not going to lie or lye.

I have thought of throwing in the towel, but I am all talk. I want my hair straight sometimes but I am not skilled enough to get it that way. I just deal with it and as it grows I am getting happier about its state.
 
last relaxer was April 2001, texturized July 2003, October 2005 bc'ed again, October 2007 texturized yet again, bc'ed for the final time in October 2009....I gave this history to show that each time I texturized it was ALWAYS under the premise of my hair is too dry, unmanageable, too much shrinkage, or just too much to deal with. Please before you make the decision to relax again, do not let it be for one those reasons.......but to answer your question OP not relaxing next year, going to continue to grow my hair out just to see how long it can get.:yep:
 
Do what you feel will be best for you and your hair, considering your circumstances. As for me, I can't imagine myself not being natural anymore. I've been natural for about a year and eight months after a year-long transition, and although it's a struggle (especially seeing women who BCed around the same time as me rocking much longer lengths xD) and a trial-and-error process, I feel like I'm doing really well.

The first couple of months I went natural, I didn't really know what to do. I had the basics down. Wash, DC, moisturize. That was it. But it was all the little adjustments I had to make (e.g. the kind of comb I used to detangle, how many sections I should have, the products I should use, when to do a protein treatment, when and how to trim, etc.) came with lots of trial-and-error. I'm still learning but I can definitely see the progress from a year ago.

It gets frustrating sometimes, especially since I feel like I'm not enjoying my hair as much as I should because I'm constantly PSing under wigs, but I know that if I keep at it, I'll be APL next year and I'll feel more comfortable playing in my hair.

Again, do you but as for me, I'll be natural for as long as I live :)

ETA: I do want to straighten though. My hair shrinks up so much and some people think that my hair is forever short while in reality, it's the longest and healthiest that it's ever been! I'm definitely going to show it off! :lol:
 
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This is my second time natural, so I've thrown in the towel before. Although my natural hair can be frustrating at times, I do not plan on throwing in the towel again. Relaxers just aren't for me.
 
hair4romheaven said:
I am a lifer with my natural hair, but DO WHATS RIGht FOR U!! Natural hair isn't for everyone so don't let anyone make you feel bad for pressing or relaxing. It's your hair!!
Sometimes I see natural hair I just want to relax and some relaxed hair I wished went natural but it aint my hair so....
Click to expand...

:lachen:You must have seen me!
 
diadall said:
I am not going to lie or lye.

I have thought of throwing in the towel, but I am all talk. I want my hair straight sometimes but I am not skilled enough to get it that way. I just deal with it and as it grows I am getting happier about its state.
Click to expand...

I feel that way too most days when I contemplate relaxing...
 
One thing I will say is that try not to do things because you think that's what naturals are supposed to do.

When I first joined the board there was an old member with a lot of great advice who always insisted that frequent wash n gos would lead to ssk and stunt your growth. So for the first couple of months being natural I always had it in the back of my mind: once I stop being lazy, I'll do more twistouts, braidouts, bantu knot outs... And I felt kinda guilty about it as if I was damaging my hair somehow based solely on her words and not my hair's actual state.

Then I realised my hair seems pretty cool with what I'm doing now and I'm retaining just fine as is. Sometimes I'll do the occasional stretched style but it's more to get a look than because I feel I have to do it :yep:.
 
Smiley79 said:
Me and my newly natural friends were chatting over the weekend and half of us were ready to throw in the towel while the others were willing to hang in there. :yep: We got to chatting at how challenging being natural is for one person versus the other. Any of you naturals thinking of signing off and going back to relaxing or texlaxing for 2012?

Me first! Well, after one year of being natural, my verdict so far is that my hair did better when it was relaxed. After a year, my hair is only 3 inches long from a full big chop (like a fade). On top of that, my hair is still dry as a rock unless its soaking wet with water or product. That's a bit disappointing to me considering I've done everything that I should. I'm not going to make any hasty decisions but I'm not a happy natural at the moment. So I've been on the fence as to what to do. :spinning:
Click to expand...

Its funny because I was speaking about this on my fb recently. Natural isn't for everybody just as relaxing isn't either. Some people hair does 100 times better in its natural state than it would if it was relaxed and vice versa. I tried to go natural and my hair straight disrespected me everyday. It didn't like it and neither did I. As a relaxed head my hair flourishes unbelievably. My best friend's hair straight disrespected her as a relaxed head but as a natural, it gave mind blowing results. Personally I say do what's best for you as long as you give it your all but never what others say to do.

Sent from my LG-MS690 using LG-MS690
 
I considered texturizing my hair and struggled with whether to do it or not.

Well, one day I was driving my boys to school and asked my 7 year old how he would feel if mommy put chemicals in her hair to make it easier to comb and not as puffy.

He said he didn't think it was a good idea because he likes my hair the way it is. Then the 5 year old chimed in and said he liked my hair too.

It has been about 2 months (if I am correct) since I decided to not put ANY chemicals in my hair and now I have been having so much fun with my longer bouncy twists that I wear all of the time.

Plus, I love when my two boys ask to play with the twists when I am giving them a kiss good night.
 
Smiley79

No matter what, you have to make the decisions that you know are best you. I would just like to suggest what worked for me in finding the right products -- methodical trial and error.

1. Keep a journal. When I first stopped relaxing, I started a journal in a Word doc and I'd record what I did to my hair that day and how it felt later on -- be it an immediate change where it all of a sudden felt dry again after I did all kind of stuff to it that I thought was "good" for it, or maybe 3 days later I still had moisturized hair.

2. Only make one change in your products or reggie at a time so you can pinpoint exactly what made a difference.

3. When you get positive results from something, take note of the main ingredients in it. That's an indication of what your hair likes.

I know that seems like a lot of work, but it's so worth it. When you said you've only got 3 inches after a year, I cringed -- not because it's the length that matters, but because that means your hair has likely been breaking because of the dryness. And I know you're really, really trying, but maybe just approach it more methodically for just 6 more months. HTH!:hug2:

Here's just an example of my trial an error from my journal just to give you an idea of what I mean.
Slick back for ponytail with ecocustard 4-6-11
Day before I rinsed out most of ecostyler from above application with water only. Let air dry, then prepood with evco. Next day, washed with conditioner 1 application, applied cholesterol conditioner let sit on hair for 1.5 hours. Rinsed. Applied giovanni leave-in mix minus the aloe vera juice. Applied ecocustard (1/2 cup plus 1 tbs of ecostyler, 1 tbs olive oil, 1 tbs castor oil, 1 tbs jojoba oil.) Ecocustard didn’t hold. Had to apply plain gel.
Lasted until 4-11-11. Re-do today. Mistake spraying water on it, which made the curls lift. Next time will only apply silky shea butter mix.Need to be extremely cautious of hair pin placement to avoid doing any damage to ends or hair shaft. Next day, hair didn’t look as good as first time. Forgot to comb thru the ecostyler gel so it lay evenly. Also used giovanni mixed with a little shea pomade – found a few white spots. Also didn’t tie hair down as tight, so was kind of poofy. Also slept on the sides which flattened them.
4/15/11 Tried redoing ecostyler slick down, but it would not take, curls kept popping up. Tried several times. T**** and I concluded that my hair is fighting against laying down because that’s not what it wants or should be doing. I should stop fighting it. So I gave up and just did a washngo. I credit the MSM for stronger and longer hair.(noticed I can pull my hair into a tiny ponytail, which I couldn’t do 2 weeks ago.)
Click to expand...
 
I am not planning on relaxing next year, but I think maybe I will relax my hair in the future. I don't know if I will want to deal with WSL natural 4b hair. Not without straightening it/stretching it regularly. If I go back, I will baby step into it - roller sets, flat ironing, then relax if I find that I like my hair better straight.
 
Smiley79 said:
Oh No, I thank you for sharing your unrequested opinion! lol. :grin: I go through this every year but 3 inches of dry hair after a year has just left me bitter, but I was surprised at how many naturals I know that are ready to calling it quits so i was just seeing if my LHCF family are having similar feelings or are succeeding really well as a natural. But I welcome and thank you for the feedback. :)
Click to expand...

:lol: glad it wasn't annoying, there is nothing more frustrating than people who want to convince you to stop something your REALLY want to do. And this is such a personal decision.
As for moisture, there is 1 milestone in my journey which is what has kept me natural:
finding a moisturizing natural conditioner or deep conditioner, one that has no tricky ingredients > no humectants like glycerin, no protein, no wax (i.e. Giovanni 50:50, AO White Camellia, Curl Junkie Curl Rehab, Darcy's Botanicals Transitioning creme). I made it become everything> a leave in, daily moisturizer, deep conditioner: I didn't rinse it off and I used it daily and creatively while figuring things out. This made my life so much easier and I still do this.

I hope it helps!
 
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Nah. Dealing with two textures would drive me insane. I'm still looking for a holy grail conditioner. Sometimes when I see some really pretty relaxed hair, I want to relax mine. I'll just invest in a really good flat iron and call it a day.
 
Charla said:
@Smiley79

No matter what, you have to make the decisions that you know are best you. I would just like to suggest what worked for me in finding the right products -- methodical trial and error.

1. Keep a journal. When I first stopped relaxing, I started a journal in a Word doc and I'd record what I did to my hair that day and how it felt later on -- be it an immediate change where it all of a sudden felt dry again after I did all kind of stuff to it that I thought was "good" for it, or maybe 3 days later I still had moisturized hair.

2. Only make one change in your products or reggie at a time so you can pinpoint exactly what made a difference.

3. When you get positive results from something, take note of the main ingredients in it. That's an indication of what your hair likes.

I know that seems like a lot of work, but it's so worth it. When you said you've only got 3 inches after a year, I cringed -- not because it's the length that matters, but because that means your hair has likely been breaking because of the dryness. And I know you're really, really trying, but maybe just approach it more methodically for just 6 more months. HTH!:hug2:

Here's just an example of my trial an error from my journal just to give you an idea of what I mean.
Click to expand...

I agree with this. A methodical method works very well and can get you to your regimen or at least very close in 3 to 6 months depending on how often you do your hair.

And once you focus more on ingredients than products, you will know before you purchase anything how it is going to work for your hair.

Unfortunately when hair is dry there is a tendency to try to add more product. But it can actually work better to use less product. The conflict between product ingredients can actually cause more dryness.

I would recommend starting with the basic - shampoo (if you shampoo), conditioner, leave-in, sealer (oil and/or butter). And then go with Charla's recommendations.
 
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