Anyone Else NOT Have a Problem @ All When PPl Touch Their Hair?

[lilsparkle825]

I don't like when guys do it because I know 9 times out of 10 they are weave checking me, and they usually give themselves away through something they say before or after the touching. Going straight for my scalp is a dead giveaway too. Also, it bothers me when they linger...I usually don't get TOO upset over a quick caress of a curl, but it's when they start patting my hair or trying to shape it that irritates me. I had to tell my bff's brother I am NOT an animal...try that on your mom or one of your sisters and see how fast you get cussed out!

Now, I did get weave-checked by my mom a few weeks ago ...I didn't mind that.

 

[isobell]

It really depends on the person, I'm anal about my personal space so I don't take to being touched by non nuclear family in general. The only time it really annoys me is when my hair is no state to be touched. For instance the last time a co-worker touched my hair, I'd accidentally used too much oil when sealing the night before. It was in an oily bun, and her hands came away shiny! All she could say was "its so soft"


oh yeah and I really do not like to be touched by men I'm not immediately related to. I feel for a man to touch a woman he is not related to is disrespectful. I'm not so offended when it is a woman.

 

[SEMO]

I never thought strangers touching people's hair was a common occurrence until LHCF. And I've never had it happen to me, so I don't know how I'd react. If they were gentle with my hair and complimentary I don't think I'd be mad.

Plenty of family, friends and acquaintances have liked to touch my hair throughout my life. But not as much since I went natural. Usually only women who are contemplating going natural themselves touch my hair now.

Actually, one of the things I miss most about being relaxed is that people use to touch my hair more. I'm one of those people that love to have their scalp massaged and their hair played in. Guy friends used to touch my hair all the time (me and a friend had a running joke about it). I think my hair/scalp misses the attention.

 

[Taina]

I don't have problem with that IF they ask me if they can touch it. I don't feel confortable when a strange out of nowhere come and touch me.

 

[toyagurl]

I don't mind...I take it as a compliment usually.

 

[anon123]

I'm not a dog. You don't stop to pet me because you think I'm cute.

I usually even ask to pet someone's dog. Maybe I just want to know if it's one of the nippy kind.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

I don't like when guys do it because I know 9 times out of 10 they are weave checking me, and they usually give themselves away through something they say before or after the touching. Going straight for my scalp is a dead giveaway too. Also, it bothers me when they linger...I usually don't get TOO upset over a quick caress of a curl, but it's when they start patting my hair or trying to shape it that irritates me. I had to tell my bff's brother I am NOT an animal...try that on your mom or one of your sisters and see how fast you get cussed out!

Now, I did get weave-checked by my mom a few weeks ago ...I didn't mind that.

See thats another thing......I really don't mind when I get weave checked either......I like seeing the surprise, I worked hard for all this progress so I'm like hey check away! lol

 

[Coffee]

I've never had a stranger just come up and run their hands through my hair. I've had friends touch it in a gentle way, or ask if they can touch it....but never rough. If it's a genle touch it wouldn't bother me.

 

[BostonMaria]

Yesterday my co-worker came up behind me and said "what happened to your hair"
Oh no you didn't! LMAO

Today I have a wash and go, mind you it was still damp, and he wanted to touch my hair. I said go away you're going to put that negativity in my hair LOL He's a friend so now he thinks I'm kidding. I must've looked like a Ninja, dodging his hand left and right LOL I didn't used to care, but now I do. I don't know where your hands have been! Eww!

My stepdaughter told me that the girls in her class were touching her hair (she's the only Latina and has tailbone length 3c hair) I said "oh nooooo honey don't let them touch your hair!" I must've looked crazy cuz I think I scared the poor child LOLOLOL

 

[chebaby]

the reason why i mind is because i have noticed that since i did the bc people are rougher when touching my hair. they want to GRAB my curls and push it up and all kinds or crazy stuff. before that realization it didnt bother me.

 

[melodies815]

Thanks for this thread.

I actually didn't think it happened too much, and never thought it would happen to me. My hair is a hot, kinky/poofy wonder when airdried and has a nice texture and a tiny bit of length when twisted...finally touching the top of shoulders in back, mid neck on sides and tip of nose in front....

...anyway...my hair is NO BIG DEAL when you think of women on this board.

Imagine my surprise when not one but two different women reached into my hair last week while we were on a farm. I was on the farm (which doubles as a neat outdoor training place in Missouri with a comfy cabin, etc) to get training for my work, and we were having a hay ride. Everyone (except me) had ridden horses, played with the dogs - who had been jumping into the slimy, algae-and-bug-filled lake and eating horse dookie - petted the cats, and was just really getting in touch with nature. One woman actually lay down in the grass and laughed as the Daddy Long-Leg spiders crawled over her. Personally, I can watch nature without having to touch it all the time.

So...this woman (Daddy Long-Leg woman) reached into my hair...from behind...without asking.

I tell you, it was nothing but Jesus that I didn't smack her hand because that was my first instinct after leaning away from her...

My mom and sister are the only ones who can touch my hair without asking and by surprise. They wash their hands.

Hubby. NOT. He will cut the grass, take out the trash, play with the neighbor's pet and then come to rub my hair.

I don't like it. Not at all.


I do like the post, though.
It let me vent.
I'm getting bothered just thinking about it....

cj

 

[DarkAngell]

As long as I know you in some way ( family, friends,co workers) then it usually doesn't bother me. I LOVE having my hair combed when it's straight!! A complete stranger doesn't really gross me out or anything I just think it makes for a very awkward moment and I'm honestly not social enough to even give a stranger the idea that I'd be cool with it.

When my hair is curly people gravitate to it giving a curl a SLIGHT tug because "they love the spring action" Doesn't bother me either as long as it doesn't mess up my style. BUT.....actually raking your fingers through my curls get's your hand slapped, stranger or not. I don't do it on purpose!! It's a natural reaction to get that hand out of my hair IMMEDIATELY.

And of course, any guy other then SO touching my hair is a no no

 

[crazydaze911]

I used to be flattered in grade school when pple wanted to touch it, now, not so much. i think among those hands i had alot of haters and i've had so many problems with my hair, i am more cautious of that now. i know it sounds dumb but negativity is negativity - only GOOD friends can touch my head/hair now.

 

[mj11051]

Some people like it and some don't. I'm in the latter. If you aren't my family member then don't touch my hair with out my permission, this includes my friends.

 

[AllAboutMoi]

I am just amazed how comfortable people are touching other peoples hair. You dont know what is up in there. Dirty grease, dandruff, lice... Yuck!

 

[Mercie]

I don't really care. As long as they aren't pulling it.
When I got a fresh relaxer this girl was touching my hair and commenting on how much it grew. It's nice. =]

 

[suburbanbushbabe]

I have a huge problem with people touching my hair. I must put out those vibes because no one does. I get a few compliments and sometimes chat about hair, but no one ever touches. I think stroking the hair and the head are very intimate things. You have to ask permission.

 

[beans4reezy]

Family yes.
Friends maybe, it depends o who you are.
Strangers, hell naw!! I don't know you like that!

 

[msa]

It doesn't bother me. The way I grew up, touching and playing with other girls' hair was part of bonding with them.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

That's how I grew up too we used to play house and play like we were doing eachothers hair, fun times

It just genuinely doesn't bother me weave checks, fascination with my fro, disbelief that its my hair when straightened and wanting to feel my scalp its usually just a fun and a convo starter and doesnt last more then a few seconds. I feel like we don't have human contact with eachother anymore, and I dont really notice this issue with other races....idk

but we all have our preferences, I personally love to talk hair and play with my hair all the time....can't blame anyone else for wanting to play with it too

 

[Taina]

Some people like it and some don't. I'm in the latter. If you aren't my family member then don't touch my hair with out my permission, this includes my friends.

That's exactly the point!!! (but i actually don'rt mind about friends) i don't care if you want to touch my hair, but don't come and do it if i don't let you.

I was in the subway the other day and a girl (with very very very straight hair) told me : "I like your hair" and touch it, it didn't feel right to me. Is like a total strange come and say : "nice boobs" and touch you one. i don't like this behaviour AT ALL.

But, as our hair type is not that common in the area i'm living in Mexico, i have a lot of people asking about my hair, asd asking if they can touch it. Is totally ok for me, i don't think they will charge my hair with "bad vibe" or anything like that, but is just common sense.

For friends and family, a whole new story. I really like people massage my hair and head, i'm like a cat, i fall asleep anytime ppl do that to my hair. When i go tho the stylist i ALWAYS have to go home and sleep after i'm done

 

[Chevelure618]

I don't mind either. It's been a long time since a white person has asked out of curiosity to touch it, but if it happened now I'd say "Sure"! I think it is a compliment.

I did have someone ask how I got my hair like that when I did a braidout, and when I said "I just braided it when it was wet" they got this look of sheer jealousy on their face. (they were white). Bone straight hair like that can no way have the fullness and density and defy gravity the way 4b can.

But in answer to the question....I don't feel violated at all.

And by the way OP, your hair is GAWWW--JUS!!

 

[Charlie555]

I don't mind family & friends touching my hair. If is a stranger and we are talking about hair and they ask to feel mine I usually don't mind. This doesn't happen very often. I think it's strange for a person to randomly touch someone elses hair without asking first.

 

[sylver2]

nah i don't mind..it's really not that serious to me.
also i love touching hair..lol

 

[discodumpling]

I just don't understand the reasoning behind touching someones hair or any part of a stranger. As mentioned before I have no idea where a strangers hands have been...picking nose & eye boogers, digging wedgies, etc. Personal space is extremely important to me.

 

[countrychickd]

I feel the exact same way as you OP. I thought I was the only one too. I really don't mind when people touch my hair. I take it as a compliment always, whether it's a weave check or just a feel. It means my hair either looks good enough to be weave or it just looks good enough to feel. I take no offense to it at all, and I love the free scalp massage too. I've never caught anything because someone touched my hair...lol. I don't know, I was raised just like you....we played in each other's hair. It's natural to me I guess. We didn't have personal space either because my grandmother had 14 kids and I have tons of cousins...so it was a lot of us in small spaces constantly. I guess it has something to do with how one was raised.

 

[Barbara]

Don't have a problem with it...As long as its a gentle brush and not a tug.

My coworker thought I was lying even though my stylist had just trimmed four inches off last February (back to bra clasp).

I had my hair in a bun and took it down for her to see; because months earlier, she kept making comments on how my bun looked as if it was attached to the back of my hair. I showed her my scalp by parting my hair in sections with my hand. She still didn't believe it until two months later when she did the extensive weave check while another Asian coworker was watching. Yanked it backwards and then checked it thoroughly as if she was turning pages in a book with both hands!
The "wicked witch" thought the hair was going to fall on the floor. You should have seen her face after she stopped laughing. She was still in disbelief, but she had to finally accept the fact that it wasn't a weave.

I should have done this with my hair then she would have really had something to say.


She's still shocked, but she believed me this time; because once again, there was nothing but my natural pressed hair growing from my scalp. She now makes comments on how it's growing out.

 

[isabella09]

This doesn’t bother me and I see it as a wonderful compliment as long as they seek my consent prior to touching my hair. For me, being asked prior to touching it shows a level of respect which should hopeful translate in the same level of respect and consideration when handling my hair.
Personally, If a stranger lacks manners to the extent of randomly touching someone’s hair (without constent); not only does it gross me out to think of the other things their hands have collected on their journey but quite honestly, I would feel unsafe around them and would hold my purse very tightly and try to extricate myself from the situation as soon as possible

 

[keepithealthy]

No I don't have any problems with pple wanting to touch my hair. I personally take it as a compliment. I've never had anyone pull my hair or anything like that. Usually with wp they pull the little curls to see them spring and comment on how soft it is. When I was relaxed most of the time it was black girls doing the weave check.(I'm terrible at noticing things my sister usually would tell me you just got weave checked. lol) never bothered me a bit. Now that I'm twa I am looking forward to my next weave check lol

 

[Desarae]

As long as they ask and don't rake through and destroy my style i'm good.

I don't mind at all. Sometimes they just want to see what it "feels" like.

I like the way hair feels and you really can tell alot about hair by the way it feels.

There are a few heads of hair on the board I would like to reach out and touch lol