Anyone Else NOT Have a Problem @ All When PPl Touch Their Hair?

[BlackMasterPiece]

I keep reading threads about how violated people feel when people touch their hair......I really don't mind. Stranger's walk up to me and tell me how pretty my hair is, I guess instinctively their hands want to touch my hair and I'm usually like cool! Free massage! When I was working at my firm over the summer my co-workers especially my white ones would routinely come up from behind me and start playing in my hair saying omg! I WISH my hair could do that! How'd you do this! It's sooooo pretty etc all while playing in my hair....I was just like oh this is what I did and we had small talk people play in my hair all the time I'm cool with it, alot of times I just enjoy it. Is anyone else cool with it too?

The only thing that does kinda irk me is when my hair is pressed and flat ironed and I've done nice curls in it and people sit there and rake their hand thru my curl or disturb it too much, at that point I just very subtly fix the curl and run my hand thru it fixing it right after and they catch the hint without feeling insulted I've always been very sociable and always more then glad to talk hair so maybe thats why?

Also I've noticed alot of people have a bigger problem when people touch their scalp, that's never happened to me because to reach my scalp with the size of my fro you'd have to have stretch armstrongs arms hell I can hardly get to my scalp some days!

But anywhoo......I'm cool with ppl touching my hair overall....anyone else the same way?

 

[Calia001]

i prefer friends playing in my hair that random people with funky hands. i looooove the free massage but i'd like to have some background about where dem fingers been first

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

lmao! fair enough I can't say I've had that many complete strangers just stick their hands in my hair without saying some kinda introduction to me first:scratchch but yea....I really don't care that much *shrugs*

 

[FluffyRed]

I don't want them "playing in" my hair, but I don't mind them touching to feel the unique and cool texture. Besides I wash it frequently

Playing in it seems really intimate, tho. Only bedmates for that!

eta - they have to be a friend or have express permission, though, not a stranger just running up behind me.

 

[MsBoinglicious]

Its okay if family or friends touch my hair (but do not dig your nasty nails in my scalp though. Who knows whats under your nails uggh).

I have a first cousin who I don’t really see (only at family events) and she comes up to me as says "oooh giiirl is that all your hurrrrrr" and I'm like "Yea" and she like "no wayyyyyyy for real" and I'm like "Yea" (it was only APL) and I guess my word was not good enough so she reached her fingers in and proceeded to a track search by digging in my scalp. When she came up empty handed she turned around and walked away. With her stank faced..unhealthy-headed-h3ffa-self...pissed me off!

So I think its all about how they act when touching it. Some people are really amazed and some are non-believers. If you want to stoke the outer perimeter of my hair, that’s fine no probs. But when you go in to the roots to check for fake hair and try to be slick about it, you gonna get your hand popped family, friend, or stranger!

 

[araceli2418]

Thanks OP. I thought I was the only one.

 

[Neek-a-Nator]

Thanks OP. I thought I was the only one.

Me, too....it doesnt bother me at all, as long as they ask Acttually I love to force my friends to give me free scalp massages, esp when I have my weave...we all fight to see who can go firstSassy29 is my fav scalp massagologist

 

[Neith]

No. I don't like strangers touching me. Any part of me.

Im not silly about it... if someone brushes my hand by mistake or something, I wouldn't freak out. Especially in crowded areas, it can happen.

I'm reasonable about it. lol

but if you walk up to me and purposely touch me - it could be my arm, leg, shoulder, hair, whatever...- you're definitley getting your hand thrown away and the screwface. Man or woman.

Depending on how I feel that day and the situation, you might get more.

I dunno. I just feel that just because you might find something about me to look nice, doesn't mean I'm on display to you with free touching included.

I'm not a dog. You don't stop to pet me because you think I'm cute.

Plus I do not know where your hands may have been... Scratching unknown places, touching unknown guk... eww. erplexed

People who know me don't play in my hair that often. Even though family/friends are okay with me.

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

i don't like it because most times, they rub it and mess up my style. it used to piss me off when i was natural too. folks would come up pulling and stretching curls like they were crazy. and then it would be sticking out of the rest of my fro! they had me looking crazy lol.​

 

[Sunrise]

No problem with friends/family.

If strangers wanna touch, it all depends on context. Meaning, if I had a conversation with a stranger and the topic/question turn up then 9 times out of 10 - no problems. If I sense the person is p-taking then, no.

 

[lesedi]

I really don't. Obviously I'd prefer they ask first but I kinda take it as a compliment...
I'm proud of my hair nowadays, I've spent a lot of time learning how to keep it healthy so as long as my hair doesn't feel dry or damaged, they can keep on touching!!

 

[Neith]

Not to mention...

There are MANIACS out there.

What if someone cut your hair or put gum in it or something?


There was a thread a while back that was about a crazy man cutting a woman's long hair off to nape/shoulder length when she agreed to let him touch it. - or something like that

He basically had scissors hidden and while her back was to him, he grabbed and snipped in just a few seconds without her realizing until it was too late.

I know some people are completley comfortable... I'm not. I think I have some good reasons. Like most things of this nature, it's a personal decsion.

 

[mscocoface]

It is the manner in which it is being done, the intent of the person doing this and the person doing the touching. This could be okay or start an all out war.

It is all about the who, what, when, where and why.

 

[Chameleonchick]

I don't know I guess it depends on my mood. But the thing that bothers me the MOST is when females try to reach out and touch my son's hair. I hate that! He loves the attention(he's four) but I can't stand it. I am usually a nice person but when someone does that I just have to say you don't just walk up to somebody's child's hair and touch it with out asking. Thats just creepy to me.

 

[Soliel185]

As long as they're gentle and appear to be sane it's typically okay...

I'm a bit too tall (esp in heels) for most people to reach it without asking me to bend down a first.

There is this one girl that goes to ASU and whenever I see her she literally squishes my WHOLE head - like scrunch and release. Even that doesn't really bug me. I know that she does it b/c she's an admirer, and I'm secretly hoping that it will convince her to transition too.

 

[Barbie83]

I have no problem with it. I was rocking a banging blow out on saturday and one of my co-workers (who i'm really cool with) just decided to run her fingers through it (Just once, and very quickly) while commenting on how healthy and shiny it looked. Didn't mind one bit. In fact, I was flattered, b/c her hair is always on point, so i was just happy to have someone notice all the work i've put into it.

I can't comment on strangers doing it tho, b/c i haven't had that happen. When I reach MBL and it inevitably happens, I'll report back.

 

[Shananyganz]

I think how one feels about being touched, generally correlates to how one feels about others touching their hair. I've never been big on people being in my personal space, but I definitely try to keep it to what I deem a reasonable level with regard to my reactions. I am a little more lenient with folk I know KNOW, but strangers? Ehhh...I'm not into it it. I can definitely feel how one can see another touching their hair in admiration as a compliment. I think that sometimes; however, when it occurs, it has been birth from a negative place. I think I, like so many others am thinking about where their hands might have been prior to being in my head. I'm also thinking that after touching, they might be walking away with a layer of coconut oil and shea butter to slip and slide on a door knob...shoot I put that in there to MOISTURIZE MY hair not your crusty hand and a rusty doorknob!! But I digress... the point here is..I really think it IS (as Ms. Cocoface stated) about the who, what, when, where, how of it all...

 

[chicacanella]

I keep reading threads about how violated people feel when people touch their hair......I really don't mind. Stranger's walk up to me and tell me how pretty my hair is, I guess instinctively their hands want to touch my hair and I'm usually like cool! Free massage! When I was working at my firm over the summer my co-workers especially my white ones would routinely come up from behind me and start playing in my hair saying omg! I WISH my hair could do that! How'd you do this! It's sooooo pretty etc all while playing in my hair....I was just like oh this is what I did and we had small talk people play in my hair all the time I'm cool with it, alot of times I just enjoy it. Is anyone else cool with it too?

The only thing that does kinda irk me is when my hair is pressed and flat ironed and I've done nice curls in it and people sit there and rake their hand thru my curl or disturb it too much, at that point I just very subtly fix the curl and run my hand thru it fixing it right after and they catch the hint without feeling insulted I've always been very sociable and always more then glad to talk hair so maybe thats why?

Also I've noticed alot of people have a bigger problem when people touch their scalp, that's never happened to me because to reach my scalp with the size of my fro you'd have to have stretch armstrongs arms hell I can hardly get to my scalp some days!

But anywhoo......I'm cool with ppl touching my hair overall....anyone else the same way?

If it was my man, "No, I don't care," or my good friends can touch my hair oh and my momma, grandma and one of my aunts.

My hair is MBL/WL and thick with a relaxer and fully processed, so when my people see it relaxed and straighted they definitely look BUT 8/10 they aren't going to touch it. I don't know them at all and they could just got finished scratchin' their butt and have something on their hands. They could've just got finished picking up a fish or digging boogers out their nose in the car. Or they could have fungus growing on their hands.

 

[knt1229]

When my hair was longer and styled in a fly layered cut people I know would touch. I didn't mind. I took it as a compliment. I never had a total stranger touch my hair though. The closet I came to a total stranger touching my hair was when I was in a club and this dude who was trying to pick me up weave checked me....Homeboy ran his hand all up and through my hair talkin bout, "Hmmmp, that's all you."..LOL. This was years ago and my hair was longer than it is now. I took it as a compliment because my do at the time was fly.

I have had my aunts and even my mama ask me if I was wearing a wig. Now they will reach out and touch my hair whether I protest or not. Good thing I don't mind them doing it.

The only time I didn't like somebody touching my hair was when my co-worker pulled my hair. Yep that hefa pulled my hair. We were in a meeting and she was sitting behind me and she pulled a strand of my hair. She was trying to be sly and see if it was my hair. She claimed she saw a gray hair. Yeah right. I told her next time just tell me there's no need for you to pull it.

 

[oooop2]

Would get touched a lot when I was living in Asia...I knew that they were just curious, so it didn't bother me. It's the ones that are trying to inspect if my fro is real/fake that bother me...LOL

 

[Tafa01]

If they are people I know, even if they not are really friends, I don't mind at all. But complete strangers? no. I prefer not. but then I don't like complete strangers to touch any part of me, not just my hair. if it is accidental, thats all right. But definitely not on purpose.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

Thanks OP. I thought I was the only one.

Nope ur sure not

Me, too....it doesnt bother me at all, as long as they ask Acttually I love to force my friends to give me free scalp massages, esp when I have my weave...we all fight to see who can go firstSassy29 is my fav scalp massagologist

I love when people play in my hair they're always gentle like their touching a fine silk so I'm always happy

I really don't. Obviously I'd prefer they ask first but I kinda take it as a compliment...
I'm proud of my hair nowadays, I've spent a lot of time learning how to keep it healthy so as long as my hair doesn't feel dry or damaged, they can keep on touching!!

EXACTLY! All the hard work and dedication it took to get me to this length natural I'm PROUD when people want to touch and feel for themselves because usually their like maybe I can go natural too! and I'm like then I get the inevitable question of how'd you do it? Then I go off on my schpiel

As long as they're gentle and appear to be sane it's typically okay...

I'm a bit too tall (esp in heels) for most people to reach it without asking me to bend down a first.

There is this one girl that goes to ASU and whenever I see her she literally squishes my WHOLE head - like scrunch and release. Even that doesn't really bug me. I know that she does it b/c she's an admirer, and I'm secretly hoping that it will convince her to transition too.

Totally agree, its like 100% of the time out of admiration and finding it remarkable that tightly coily hair can be so lush and long fully natural. When you're unusual and outside the mainstream (relaxers) people will find you remarkable so I just got used to it. Plau I like to make a statement and an emtrance

I have no problem with it. I was rocking a banging blow out on saturday and one of my co-workers (who i'm really cool with) just decided to run her fingers through it (Just once, and very quickly) while commenting on how healthy and shiny it looked. Didn't mind one bit. In fact, I was flattered, b/c her hair is always on point, so i was just happy to have someone notice all the work i've put into it.

Amen Barbie amen

I can't comment on strangers doing it tho, b/c i haven't had that happen. When I reach MBL and it inevitably happens, I'll report back.

Yea when complete strangers do it they usually strike up a convo first and then ask or they might just go for it....its been no problem for me.

Would get touched a lot when I was living in Asia...I knew that they were just curious, so it didn't bother me. It's the ones that are trying to inspect if my fro is real/fake that bother me...LOL

lol yea, I'm about to study abroad in florence italy and its probably gonna happen there as well

Plus Black men are just floored lmao I remember I went on a first date and we were just hanging out, my hair was straightened at that time and my date ran his hands thru my hair briefly and was like "wait, that's all you?!?!?" I was like "yep" he was like "wow" At one point I leaned into him like resting my head on his chest and he literally played in my hair massaging my scalp unconsciously for like 15 minutes lol

idk I've always had people wanting to touch my hair from when I was a tike so I'm just very accustomed and comfortable with it now I guess.....

 

[Ramya]

I mind. I don't like people putting their paws on me.

 

[JollyGal]

friends and family are fine but strangers...who may have just used to toilet without washing their hands... NO & NEVER.

As blacksnob said

I'm going to get the TSHIRT too. Hopefully that will get the message across lol

 

[Almaz]

I have a problem with people touching me Period

 

[Poohbear]

I don't mind people touching my hair either. :Blush2:

But anything else is OFF LIMITS!

 

[GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I]

I have a problem with people touching me Period

Yella, go read the other thread about the Black lady and an Arab guy was wrangling in her hair talking about how nice and he's jealous of her husband.... "abid...sharm...." Kan...coos ha ima shelo

 

[WhipEffectz1]

Don't have a problem with it...As long as its a gentle brush and not a tug.

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

I just think it's good manners not to touch someone you dont know well uninvited. I don't too much mind close friends or family, but even then I'd like to know if your hand is headed to my hair in advance.

 

[mj11051]

friends and family are fine but strangers...who may have just used to toilet without washing their hands... NO & NEVER.

As blacksnob said

I'm going to get the TSHIRT too. Hopefully that will get the message across lol

I need this shirt also