Anyone else dating an Pakistani/Indian???

[blkgurl2008]

Am I the only one dating Indian/Pakistani? My bf is from Pakistan, we've been together for about 3 years now. He says that not a lot of Indian/Pakistani men go for black women because they will be severly judged and I've seen this. But I'm just curious.

When we go out, people stare at us. And I mean STARE like we've got 3 heads or something.

 

[DayStar]

Are you from a small town?

I went out with a Pakistani dude last year, but no one was staring oddly, because it was the norm back home.

 

[blkgurl2008]

No, its a big city. Even now, I'm visiting his family in Houston Texas and thats where the stares are really coming lol( not necessarily from his fam).

 

[jasminestar]

I'm dating an Indian guy
What your SO said is very interesting to me... I figured a lot of Indian/Pakistani men went for black women, because Indian/Pakistani men are almost all that approach me. Maybe a few Arab men, every so often.
We do get stared at a lot though. On occasion people see us and do double takes.

 

[lux10023]

up here indian me luv them some sistahs...

again thats why i luv the big city--and the indians got that tech money on lock...lmaooo

tis all.

 

[Blackmagic]

Dated a Pakastani guy... Uh he was so beautiful..

We broke off the relationship on amicable terms only because I was moving and didn't feel serious enough about the relationship to continue it long-distance...

 

[Lishaboo]

My brother married an Indian girl..does this count? That's my Niece in the pic.

 

[MissJ]

My ex wanted to marry an Indian girl. They were engaged and everything, but that didn't go over so well in India... :angeldevi

 

[MissYocairis]

^^^ @ that evil laughing smilie.

 

[blkgurl2008]

up here indian me luv them some sistahs...

again thats why i luv the big city--and the indians got that tech money on lock...lmaooo

tis all.

wow!!! that's crazy! My SO is the only desi guy to approach me. lol we must be living under a rock haha

 

[Godyssey]

Hmm... I wouldn't think it would look so strange for a black person and an Indian person to be together. To me, they look similar (if they're dark).

Although now that I think of it, Indians are very obsessed with skin color.

I dated a white guy before and we always got stared at. Black guys were upset, white people... People we didn't even know were sometimes openly vocal about it. It was crazy.

If you love him, I guess you just have to deal with the scrutiny.

 

[Foxglove]

Hmm... I wouldn't think it would look so strange for a black person and an Indian person to be together. To me, they look similar (if they're dark).

Although now that I think of it, Indians are very obsessed with skin color.

I dated a white guy before and we always got stared at. Black guys were upset, white people... People we didn't even know were sometimes openly vocal about it. It was crazy.

If you love him, I guess you just have to deal with the scrutiny.

It's not so much that it looks crazy, but the cultures are so different
And their culture is not exactly welcoming to marrying outsiders
Sometimes they get crap from marrying somebody from a different caste in the same country, let alone somebody from a completely different culture

 

[LadyPaniolo]

No, I never have. I remember seeing a couple at the zoo a few years back, BW/IM... she had on a :lovedrool: sari and they had a cute little baby. They looked happy. Her hair had taken a beating from those no-lye relaxers lol which is what drew my eye to her. That was the first time I'd seen a couple like that, I thought it was great that they looked so happy together.

 

[Lucie]

I think Shahla is.

I am not attracted to Pakistani/Indian men and the ones that do like me are OLDER than my dad. The younger ones that I do know seem to prefer white women.

 

[DaPPeR]

No...but I would like to. They look I might make my way over to Queens

 

[LunadeMiel]

My FH dated a girl from Sri Lanka for 4 years. Her parents told her that their daughter would not marry a N.i.g.g.e.r. They said they would rather stone her to death than allow it

I dated two Indian guys. I never got or noticed any stares while we were together.

 

[Bunny77]

My experience with Indian guys haven't been great, but I'm glad other BW are having good experiences!

I've definitely been approached, but when I've given them a chance, it's been VERY clear that their interest is more "casual" and not serious... for all the people (in general) who say that WM only want BW for sex, I can't say it's been mine... but I HAVE had this experience often with Indian/Pakistani men.

That being said, I'd still be open to dating one, but he would need to introduce me to his family, NOT suggest "dates" at clubs/house parties, etc... not call me at 9 p.m., and ask if I want to "go out" right then, etc...

 

[HoneyLove]

My friend is Bangladeshi and dating a black guy... and her family hates and spites him because he's black... sooo they're pushing towards an arranged marriage. She and I both think her and her current are going to end up breaking up too soon just out of obligation. So amongst her fam she got much criticism. Out in the streets not so much.

 

[Vintageglam]

Haven't dated Indian or Pakistani but I have a good freind who is Pakistani (now married) who dated a half Pakistani/ Half Nigerian guy.

I have dated a Persian guy (who looked very Indian) and had no problems whatsoever.

I think if you are going to date a south Asian culture is very impt. The relationships that I have seen work with Asian men are the ones where the guy was brought up in Africa or is from a liberal background i.e. Persian (they are notorious for marrying outside their culture) and the Hindu's and Nepalese. The Persian wanted a serious relationship (met his parents and everything and he even withheld colouring etc) but I wasn't down for that at 22 and let me tell you the boy was foine.

 

[pisceschica]

I have always had the impression that those men, if the didn't get in trouble for dating interracially, went for white girls (especially the younger Americanized ones) especially in the case of Indian men who were born and raise in a culture that seems to value light skin.

I personally in my area have not seen any black women with Pakistani men. But I have seen maybe 3 black women/Indian men couplings. One of the guys was an acquaintance from work, but his wife was mulatta. Another couple I saw at a SAM's club and they were strolling around with the baby and I would say the woman was medium brown.

 

[MissJ]

It's not so much that it looks crazy, but the cultures are so different
And their culture is not exactly welcoming to marrying outsiders
Sometimes they get crap from marrying somebody from a different caste in the same country, let alone somebody from a completely different culture

As soon as my ex stepped into India, he and his fiancee tried to check into a hotel. They would not let him, because they said he was of the wrong social class. He spent 4 months over there trying to win over her family, and it was not pretty from what I heard.

I noticed that he started trying to contact me the summer of 2008. He sent me a postcard from India. At the time, I thought he was having a ball over there with her family and trying to rub it in my face. But now that I think about it, if he was having such a good time, why would he even be concerned about his first girlfriend?

Since then, he had been contacting me and asking to see me, etc, especially after Michael Jackson died. That was his opening. I received a Christmas card from him, and then in January he called to see what I was doing. I kept asking him why he was contacting me, because I just knew he was married by now. He said he wasn't. I kept telling him he was, and that I knew he was lying.

He finally came out and said, he doesn't talk about this with anyone, but since I insist that he is married he's going to tell me. He said he went to India for 4 months. He had a very respectable position there, but her family still did not accept him. They had these demands of him. He had to move to Bangalore in order to marry the girl. He had to live in this certain house near them. He had to do something else, that I can't remember. He said they refused to speak English around him, because they were talking about him in his presence. He would walk down the street, and people would spit at him.

I would loooooove to hear more of this story. It sounds heart-breaking, and of course the girl did what her family wanted and didn't marry him.

 

[MissJ]

I also remember hearing the news about an Indian man in Atlanta who put a hit out on his son's wife, because she was black. I don't remember the specifics of the story, though. Apparently, most of them think we're not good enough for them.

 

[Sashaa08]

I had a Pakastani dude hit on me in a club-he followed me around the entire evening-even sat on the floor at my feet (yes on the floor of a club). It was a mostly white club but folks didnt really stare at us while we were dancing-although they did stare when he was sitting on the floor in front of my chair. He was a cutie-too bad he was crazy and a stalker.

Not sure about the color issue cause I was actually a little bit lighter than he was but he clearly would have known that I was black though.

 

[Theo]

Nope, but I think they are soooo cute tho! And so much fun to hang out with, and their culture is so vibrant! They are also tend to be very family-oriented, which I like.

If not for all the religious differences, plus the not eating pork and beef and stuff, I would be alllll over that.... trust

 

[hrtbndr21]

I dated a Indian guy from Canada for about 4 mos. last yr. I don't recall anybody going out of the way to stare at us. But he could pass for a mixed race person from the Caribbean (that's what I initially thought he was). He shaved his head.

He had a weird thing about making people guess what nationality he was.

That's great that you're at the meet the family stage. How's the interaction with the family so far? Those are the folks you need to worry about if anything.

 

[metro_qt]

My experience with Indian guys haven't been great, but I'm glad other BW are having good experiences!

I've definitely been approached, but when I've given them a chance, it's been VERY clear that their interest is more "casual" and not serious... for all the people (in general) who say that WM only want BW for sex, I can't say it's been mine... but I HAVE had this experience often with Indian/Pakistani men.

That being said, I'd still be open to dating one, but he would need to introduce me to his family, NOT suggest "dates" at clubs/house parties, etc... not call me at 9 p.m., and ask if I want to "go out" right then, etc...

LOOOOOL!!!
I have one indian man that is currently pursuing me.

I told him to back off about a month ago... But i'm still getting texts from him. (He knows better than to call me)

1. His first date was suggested to be in my apartment. (WHAAAAAAT?!?!?!)
instead. i made him take me to the coffee shop in his benz and stayed there.
Lol that was subsequently our LAST date.

2. He keeps texting after 10pm... and suggesting dates for night times.

(Hence why i told him to back off)

 

[YankeeCandle]

My FH dated a girl from Sri Lanka for 4 years. Her parents told her that their daughter would not marry a N.i.g.g.e.r. They said they would rather stone her to death than allow it .

Wow, 4 years is a very serious relationship for most people. Emotionally, it can be like mental marriage for some (not all) people.Were they considering (legal) marriage and the parental pressure was too much for them to take?

Was he the one who broke it off beceuse he didn't like the negativity focused on him, or did she?



ETA: the "amusing" but secretly quite sad reality is that many people raised in African (i.e. from Africa) cultures have an awful lots in common with people raised in South Asian cultures, for better for worse, the admirable cultural elements and the not so admirable ones. And yet these are the two sets of people who are most likely to have family and culture driving them away from each other, from both/all sides.

 

[seraphinelle]

I find it hard to believe that they 'love' black women so much, when it is hard for them to even date let alone marry outside of their social class.

Even those in the same social class have issues marrying those of different sub cultures.

 

[jamaraa]

Well anti Black racism is everywhere folks , so don't be surprised when it happens to come from even non White minorities. erplexed

That said, Indo-Pak folks have a tendency to be VERY ethnic/language oriented and seek out people who are specifically from their ethnic/language group.

However IRs DO rarely happen, usually the man and a BW. Women are VERY discouraged to marry out to almost anyone, but certainly BM ain't happening. Generally these IRs happen among co-religionists...Muslims, to be exact. I would guestimate that most of these pairings are among Muslims (and perhaps Christians, but I've never seen this one personally) and rarely among Hindus, Sikhs, etc...

Interestingly enough w/in the Muslim community, some Blacks would NEVER consider an Indo-Pak because they are perceived as being less religious and too assimilationist.

 

[jamaraa]

Wow, 4 years is a very serious relationship for most people. Emotionally, it can be like mental marriage for some (not all) people.Were they considering (legal) marriage and the parental pressure was too much for them to take?

Was he the one who broke it off beceuse he didn't like the negativity focused on him, or did she?



ETA: the "amusing" but secretly quite sad reality is that many people raised in African (i.e. from Africa) cultures have an awful lots in common with people raised in South Asian cultures, for better for worse, the admirable cultural elements and the not so admirable ones. And yet these are the two sets of people who are most likely to have family and culture driving them away from each other, from both/all sides.

I'd guess family pressures. Many men who are NOT Western will NOT marry against their family's wishes. erplexed