Another Sexless Relationship

[Transformer]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/advice/carolyn-hax-she-doesnt-know-whether-shes-in-a-relationship-or-how-to-ask/2020/09/11/601d0196-e979-11ea-970a-64c73a1c2392_story.html

Dear Carolyn: I am a single mom of three almost-grown kids. My 25-year marriage was loveless, and the sex was forgettable.
I now find myself with a man who adores me and is easy to be around! He has depth, integrity and many great qualities, we laugh a lot (which was missing from my past relationships) and my kids love him.
He has zero desire for sex. His doctor suggested some solutions, to no avail.
I don't really want to lose him, but I feel insecure without physical closeness. We have talked about this, but he is very proud. What happens next? I suggested therapy, and he doesn't think there is a problem.
— Another Loveless Relationship

 

[mrselle]

What they have is a deep, abiding FRIENDSHIP.

 

[Maracujá]

What they have is a deep, abiding FRIENDSHIP.

Do you think they both made a wrong assessment about their relationship?

 

[Evolving78]

Do you think they both made a wrong assessment about their relationship?

I think so.

 

[Evolving78]

Why does she keep getting into relationships with men that don’t want to have sex with her?

 

[Foxglove]

Why does she keep getting into relationships with men that don’t want to have sex with her?

This is the first question I had

 

[awhyley]

Mishel, is that you?

Seriously, though he's knows something's wrong but wants her to overlook it. Just like Mishel and Steve, it's a wrap.

 

[Evolving78]

This is the first question I had

She is clearly missing some flags.. and what is it about her that “these men” find appealing?

 

[Black Ambrosia]

I can see this happening easily for women who enjoy a long courtship. What you think is respect and maturity is actually masking erectile dysfunction. I’m guessing her marriage wasn’t always sexless since they managed to have 3 kids.

I don’t think this relationship will last.

 

[mrselle]

Do you think they both made a wrong assessment about their relationship?

I think she made a wrong assessment about their relationship.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I can see this happening easily for women who enjoy a long courtship. What you think is respect and maturity is actually masking erectile dysfunction. I’m guessing her marriage wasn’t always sexless since they managed to have 3 kids.

I don’t think this relationship will last.

Unfortunately, I have been on the wrong end of that before. I think everyone should adhere to their own timeline for sex BUT I think it’s a red flag for 1/2 of the couple to be “meh” about the other sexually as their courtship progresses. If they are both like whatever then it may be a good match.

 

[BonBon]

He might not find her attractive, he could be gay, low testosterone, depressed, asexual or whatever. Not sure.

Life is too short. If she cant deal with the sexless life she needs to move on.

 

[Black Ambrosia]

He might not find her attractive, he could be gay, low testosterone, depressed, asexual or whatever. Not sure.

Life is too short. If she cant deal with the sexless life she needs to move on.

Definitely agree. I just hate his unwillingness to try to do anything about it. It speaks to his self esteem and selfishness to not address it and expect her to deal with it.

 

[caribeandiva]

Why is she still with him? She’s a people pleaser. If she stays with him she will cheat on him eventually.

 

[NijaG]

Definitely agree. I just hate his unwillingness to try to do anything about it. It speaks to his self esteem and selfishness to not address it and expect her to deal with it.

Why is she still with him? She’s a people pleaser. If she stays with him she will cheat on him eventually.

He needs to either find an asexual/low sex drive woman or stay single. If not, He deserves to be cheated on.

 

[caribeandiva]

He needs to either find an asexual/low sex drive woman or stay single. If not, He deserves to be cheated on.

Now sis... we both know he ain’t gonna do that!