Another hair forum

[hopeg80]

I think all the rules come down to them wanting to promote loving and working with your natural hair "AS IS". Some of us get so caught up in hair types, wishing it were one way or another, starting not to like our hair because it isn't a certain type, etc (I'm not talking about hair types in regards to finding what products work best for that particular texture)...I think they want to avoid and eliminate that kind of an attitude towards our hair.

I tried to explain it like this, I like your explanation better.

 

[so1913]

I tried to explain it like this, I like your explanation better.

Just agreeing and co-signing with your response!

 

[Amina]

I lurk only on their Spirituality & Philosophy Discussion board...I might join...some of the discussions are real good (though it could get heated sometimes looks like people are getting along, everyone states their opinion/facts, ask questions, etc.)

 

[HairPhoenix]

I thought I was the only one having problems with the pages loading and stuff and I have broadband.

Me, too. So it's not just me afterall. That's good to know.

I felt like their site was a little off-putting as well when I first went there. Then I spent some quality lurking time there and I thought I needed to radically change my whole self in order to go natural. I started changing my way of thinking and found out that I am just not ready to get down like that. I don't see anything wrong with switching between being natural, relaxing/texturizing, and going back to natural if that's what someone wants to do.

Variety is the spice of life. I really like the variety in LHCF. I think that it gives us a chance to embrace and appreciate each others hair choices, whether we are relaxed, texturized, transitioning, or natural.

 

[SweetP]

I actually like Nappturality. I like that it is encouraged to enjoy your hair just as it is… I like that it is discouraged to start a post stating "I found how to get my too nappy naps to ~curl~ up with only 7 products, 3 styling tools and it just takes 1.5 hours per day plus another 45 minutes to dry"… I like that NP stresses that what God gave us is just fine. I like that they acknowledge that chemicals and heat are damaging to all hair and don't just state it, but provide both scientific evidence and personal testimony with photos.
HOWEVER, I do not like the way that they will dog people out like they ain't no-damned-body… But, then, I see that here and on other sites, as well.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I have been lurking on NP for over a year now, but I pretty much only post in the transitioners forum. It seems to me the only suggestions transitioners get there is LOVE YOURSELF: CUT IT OFF!!! I try to give alternatives to folks who aren't ready to run around with an inch of hair.

I have mixed feelings about NP. I think Dee has done a great service in helping black women deal with their natural hair. However, there is an undercurrent of something (that I can't quite name) on that board that is uncomfortable at times.

I get very agitated when I recognize members from that board posting ideas in line with that undercurrent on LHCF. It's not hard to spot if you have spent much time over there. In turn, I don't go over there talking about MTG,
flat ironing or curl defining products, because it's not appropriate.

 

[deedabug]

I read one thread when a natural lady basically got shut down because she was asking a question about using heat on her natural hair. I didn't know that was against the rules as well.

and this is why i am a member of lhcf now..i was one of them that got their thread locked and almost cussed out for askin...

this after many popular chics had asked about heat before....i didnt understand how talkin bout heat was a problem....guess it was if u wasnt in the clique...i could see the no chemicals motto...but please it's plenty of members on their pressin and blow drying....

albums don't lie

NP.com stays down alot cuz it is very active...more active than this site....with the lurking and carrying on....and it has way many more members in total also...after reading the webmistress break this down several times then seeing it in print in a mag (naturally you mag) i believe it....they have tons and tons of pages of pix too....way more than lhcf...

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I love both sites, but this site has done the most in helping me educate myself. I never in a million years thought that I could do half the stuff with my hair that I could do now. I like Nappturality, but as stated, it takes too long to get on it at times.

 

[tastesosweet]

I don't visit nappturality anymore because of how biased it is against sistas who choose to wear their hair in various styles other than natural. Furthermore, the main moderator gets really ugly when anybody mentions heat. A sista friend of mine further helped me to understand that the main moderator has an easy hair type to deal with in its natural state--she does not have the tight coils and kinks that many sistas find challenging to manage in its natural state. As a former relaxed woman and a current natural one, I find it extremely distasteful and really childish to not embrace the versatility of our hair. The beauty of our hair is its ability to change. We can rock a huge fro one day and a silky straight style the next. While I think it is important to be honest about the damaging effects certain practices have on our hair, its just as important to educate ourselves on how to make those practices less damaging so that we continue to have options. To me this is what LHCF is about and I am so grateful for it! Thank you LHCF for accepting ALL OF US and for letting us express ourselves without the censoring!

Sorry this is so long--I've been wanting to vent about this.

 

[Sweet_Ambrosia]

I'm also a member of NP, the only thing that really bugs me is that the site is slow as hell, they need better servers or something its ridiculous!
Some members can be militant at times, and just plain rude to some people. But those heffas dont scare me!

IA w/ JCoily, that some are quick to tell the newly transitioner to BC like there isnt any alternative, I think some are mad that they BC too soon and they want others to miserable like they are.

The site is informative, but at times the vibe over there can be weird and evilish.

 

[nurseN98]

.but please it's plenty of members on their pressin and blow drying....

albums don't lie

You got that right...
I think both sites have their pros & cons....but I consider LHCF my "hair home". It was the first site that I found dealing with hair when mines started falling out.

NP does have great info & tips though if you're natural. I learned a lot of great info there. I just don't believe as strongly in the 'no heat' rule even though I dare not discuss it over there. The founder of the site has done a great job with the site and she doesn't want heat and other topics discussed, then folks shouldn't discuss it.

 

[ChildlikeEmpress]

I have mixed feelings about NP. I think Dee has done a great service in helping black women deal with their natural hair. However, there is an undercurrent of something (that I can't quite name) on that board that is uncomfortable at times.

I think the words you're looking for are "anger and insecurity." No matter what the topic is, when I see people foaming at the mouth just itching to jump on any perceived threat -- real, imagined or just plain wacky -- it makes me wonder if deep down, they have doubts about their choices, or how they feel about themselves. And it seems like certain people there take every little thing to mean you don't like being black, which makes the whole place look batty.

That said, it IS the perfect place for newbies and "fence-sitters" who may benefit from the boot camp approach. And the albums there are great.

~R. :Rose:

 

[patient1]

Np.com is a small planet!! It's a HUGE community and I'm one of its members (moonchild). I actually came across this site via that one. Np.com was down and I was cruising albums or something.

Definitely some technical problems that come from the sheer size and weight of the site.

The non-hair forums are great. It def. transcends mere nappy hair talk. I think Dee has done an awesome job of creating forums where the whole woman can be addressed.

However. . .

I'm an adult just like most of the people on the net. I was natural before the site existed and I don't need to be coddled or scolded in order to make my decisions. So yeah, there are some attitudes towards hair in "altered states" that are extreme. I don't go there as much as I used to because I'm a big fan of freedom of expression. There are new members constantly coming in and some things might be discussed again and again into infinity. Just comes with the territory if people are going to be helped. (like 12 step programs). Patience and grace are the order of the day.

But I get her mission, it is her site, and she def. pays the cost to be the boss. I think folks can get kind of protective over there. So I kind of leave it to folks who need protecting and what not. When it comes up I check what's new. And there are some great folks over there who aren't even down with the biting undercurrent.

I've got love for np.com because nappy hair doesn't get stood up for that much. Let's just be real. But on the other hand, I don't want to go to the other extreme and make outsiders of anyone based on hair.

LHCF's strength is definitely the ability to have so much variety and most often find that happy middle. Now if only we could duplicate that in real life.

P1

 

[Guapa1]

I love NP.com. I've learnt a lot there, and love the fact I've been embraced there with open arms, as my hair type is usually scorned. I do agree with their rules over there, because heat CAN be harmful, and it's nice to appreciate that you can have your natural hair looking gorgeous without 10 million products and heat.
I also like it here too, but I do mostly post in the non hair sections.

 

[Cheleigh]

I love NP.com. I've learnt a lot there, and love the fact I've been embraced there with open arms, as my hair type is usually scorned. I do agree with their rules over there, because heat CAN be harmful, and it's nice to appreciate that you can have your natural hair looking gorgeous without 10 million products and heat.
I also like it here too, but I do mostly post in the non hair sections.

ITA. Dee's site does have glitches, and I've had my head bitten off and my post misconstrued on the non-hair forums before, but I still really like the site--I know women who are always ready to charge someone up IRL, so I'm used to it. I love both the hair and non-hair forums. I am a member of three or four hair sites, and I pretty much say the same things on all of them. I do respect the rules/tone of each site--I don't come here mouthing off about relaxers, I don't go on Np.com asking about the best flat iron and how to get a banging press, and I don't hop on nc.com spouting how curlies are nap haters. All three are great sites, IMO, because I share some points of view with all three sites.

 

[so1913]

ITA. Dee's site does have glitches, and I've had my head bitten off and my post misconstrued on the non-hair forums before, but I still really like the site--I know women who are always ready to charge someone up IRL, so I'm used to it. I love both the hair and non-hair forums. I am a member of three or four hair sites, and I pretty much say the same things on all of them. I do respect the rules/tone of each site--I don't come here mouthing off about relaxers, I don't go on Np.com asking about the best flat iron and how to get a banging press, and I don't hop on nc.com spouting how curlies are nap haters. All three are great sites, IMO, because I share some points of view with all three sites.

Exactly, Couldn't have stated this better myself.

 

[MissYocairis]

I think the words you're looking for are "anger and insecurity." No matter what the topic is, when I see people foaming at the mouth just itching to jump on any perceived threat -- real, imagined or just plain wacky -- it makes me wonder if deep down, they have doubts about their choices, or how they feel about themselves. And it seems like certain people there take every little thing to mean you don't like being black, which makes the whole place look batty.
That said, it IS the perfect place for newbies and "fence-sitters" who may benefit from the boot camp approach. And the albums there are great.

~R. :Rose:

I hear you. I am not into the "Boot Camp" approach. I'm 35! Anyway, you are 100% correct. That underlying current of "discomfort" from the jump DOES look a lot like "anger and insecurity". I prefer the positive vibe I find on LHCF. Who better to share your hair goals with?

 

[Jewell]

I don't visit nappturality anymore because of how biased it is against sistas who choose to wear their hair in various styles other than natural. Furthermore, the main moderator gets really ugly when anybody mentions heat. A sista friend of mine further helped me to understand that the main moderator has an easy hair type to deal with in its natural state--she does not have the tight coils and kinks that many sistas find challenging to manage in its natural state. As a former relaxed woman and a current natural one, I find it extremely distasteful and really childish to not embrace the versatility of our hair. The beauty of our hair is its ability to change. We can rock a huge fro one day and a silky straight style the next. While I think it is important to be honest about the damaging effects certain practices have on our hair, its just as important to educate ourselves on how to make those practices less damaging so that we continue to have options. To me this is what LHCF is about and I am so grateful for it! Thank you LHCF for accepting ALL OF US and for letting us express ourselves without the censoring!

Sorry this is so long--I've been wanting to vent about this.

\


I love your post. Very well said! I totally agree!

 

[hopeg80]

I do respect the rules/tone of each site--I don't come here mouthing off about relaxers, I don't go on Np.com asking about the best flat iron and how to get a banging press, and I don't hop on nc.com spouting how curlies are nap haters. All three are great sites, IMO, because I share some points of view with all three sites.

ITA to this point. The bottom line is both sites have different purposes but they both are here to aid women in healthy haircare. I say use each site to your advantage.

 

[SparklingFlame]

Actually it is a rule- no heat discussions. The posted threads are archives (like "we're done discussing this newbies"). I get the policy and it's not a big deal because I can get advice on this board and post in my albums but IMO it goes too far when people call each other out as "partial nappys" and "trendy nappturals" (as opposed to "real" naturals I guess) for using heat. Like blow dryer makes you a self hating poser but banding "to stretch" the napps doesn't??? (not to mention all the people bleaching their hair blond having the nerve to talk about permanent damage). But whatever. Whatever works.

I had no idea that it was against the rules to talk about heat!! I read the rules (or so I thought) and I got out of it that it was for napps only. Well, I suppose I'll just have to go and re-read it. I don't go over there very often anyway because of all the server issues but IMHO its just a little too restrictive to say what you can and cannot discuss, as long as its pertaining to hair and its not malicious I don't see the problem. Promote what you like, but my goodness, don't shoot people down if they don't agree with your EVERY WORD! Isn't that what DISCUSSIONS are for-to talk things out and see 2 sides of any given point?

 

[kristina]

I had no idea that it was against the rules to talk about heat!! I read the rules (or so I thought) and I got out of it that it was for napps only. Well, I suppose I'll just have to go and re-read it. I don't go over there very often anyway because of all the server issues but IMHO its just a little too restrictive to say what you can and cannot discuss, as long as its pertaining to hair and its not malicious I don't see the problem. Promote what you like, but my goodness, don't shoot people down if they don't agree with your EVERY WORD! Isn't that what DISCUSSIONS are for-to talk things out and see 2 sides of any given point?

Actually, once you know the rule, it's not a big deal and I get it. I actually agree that a forum isn't necessarily a democracy-it's Dee's house so it's her rules. But I do get upset when some unsuspecting newbie mentions it and then the lionnesses leap on it not once or twice but like 20 posts worth of pounding the poor girl out. I'm like geez, don't ya'll recall a period when you didn't read the rules of the boards???!! Like seriously, she probably got the point during the first post. And many of them add a bit of humiliation and mockery to the tone of their responses which I think is pretty childish and disrespectful. I certainly would never talk that way to another person and feel good about myself, it's just ugly.
BUT Dee has come out and wrote a post about exactly this issue, which I thought was really cool. And like mentioned, it's an undercurrent. Most people are really cool and mellow and the albums kick butt. Just stick to script (yay nappturals!) and it's all good.

 

[so1913]

Actually, once you know the rule, it's not a big deal and I get it. I actually agree that a forum isn't necessarily a democracy-it's Dee's house so it's her rules. But I do get upset when some unsuspecting newbie mentions it and then the lionnesses leap on it not once or twice but like 20 posts worth of pounding the poor girl out. I'm like geez, don't ya'll recall a period when you didn't read the rules of the boards???!! Like seriously, she probably got the point during the first post. And many of them add a bit of humiliation and mockery to the tone of their responses which I think is pretty childish and disrespectful. I certainly would never talk that way to another person and feel good about myself, it's just ugly.
BUT Dee has come out and wrote a post about exactly this issue, which I thought was really cool. And like mentioned, it's an undercurrent. Most people are really cool and mellow and the albums kick butt. Just stick to script (yay nappturals!) and it's all good.

Good point as well...Who are we to say what the rules should or should not be or what's right or wrong regarding the rules. This is a privately owned site, and what the owner says goes. I may not and do not apply all of the board rules to my own life and how I handle my own hair, but I do and can respect the laws of the board when I am participating in the discussions.

NOW, what I do believe is ridiculous is exactly what you have mentioned, the behavior of some of the members on the board. I have been completely disgusted by some of the responses I've read...just rude, mean, and nasty some of them. I really feel bad for the newer members just learning the site that get attacked unecessarily by some of the members.

Overall the site has a wealth of information for natural hair care. I love that it promotes loving and accepting our natural hair, because many of us wearing our hair natural for the first time may need that type of encouragement. The off topic boards are also very good. Any natural, transitioner, or someone considering going natural will find a lot of very good information there.

In my opinion, it's not the rules of the board that need to change...it's the attitude of some of its members.

 

[Brownshugaz]

I completely agree with you both. NP.com is a great site, but there are some hard core ladies there can be rude

 

[asummertyme]

i go to the site every now and again, but as u said it takes too long to load and its always down..i love that site but its a bit strong fisted for me..

 

[Crysdon]

I think the words you're looking for are "anger and insecurity." No matter what the topic is, when I see people foaming at the mouth just itching to jump on any perceived threat -- real, imagined or just plain wacky -- it makes me wonder if deep down, they have doubts about their choices, or how they feel about themselves. And it seems like certain people there take every little thing to mean you don't like being black, which makes the whole place look batty.

That said, it IS the perfect place for newbies and "fence-sitters" who may benefit from the boot camp approach. And the albums there are great.

~R. :Rose:

Anger and insecurity. That's it! Thanks Childlike Empress.

I used to belong to that site when I was natural and I never felt comfortable because of the atmosphere. For instance, even though I was 100% natural, I still applied a relaxer to my cousin & mother's hair and I did occassionally press my own hair. So, to them I was a 'sell-out' who didn't love herself.

There was a thread there once where a poster stated that an elderly lady had negative comments about her hair. Well we all know that elderly people speak their mind and get a free pass to say whatever they want. Well, the poster said she went off on the lady and they were in there high-fiving her and a few level-headed posters did tell her that it was wrong to disrespect the elderly woman.

I think I would still be natural if it wasn't for that board.

 

[sprungonhairboards]

I was a member at np for about 2 years before I found LHCF. They convinced me to go natural! I had never even considered it before until I saw all the great advice and beautiful albums. Plus my hair was a WRECK from relaxing! I was more than happy to stop. But the underlying vibe always sucked and was condecending, militant and holier than thou. As soon as I found LHCF I never went back. The atmosphere here is so much better and so much more welcoming. If you are around something or someone long enough, you start to take on that thinking, I saw it happening with myself, I began looking down on people with relaxers and I didn't want to be like that.

When I texturized recently after being natural for 3 yrs I felt a little guilty! That was the np brainwashing lingering. I finally told myself 'girl stop trippin, who gives a damn if web strangers think you hate yourself, it's YOUR hair?' I honestly had that talk with myself

With the info I got from np and LHCF I knew my hair could be healthy, beautiful AND 'creamy cracked' out And it is! Not to mention longer than it's ever been except when I was a child. I may go natural again in the future but it will be because I want to, not because I have anything to prove to anyone.

 

[Crysdon]

When I texturized recently after being natural for 3 yrs I felt a little guilty! That was the np brainwashing lingering. I finally told myself 'girl stop trippin, who gives a damn if web strangers think you hate yourself, it's YOUR hair?' I honestly had that talk with myself

OMG! Girl, you too? The very day that I got my texturizer I had a dream that everybody on NP found out and cussed me out. I did feel like a sellout for about a week or so, then I finally shook it off.

See, that brainwashing ain't no joke. hahahahahaha

 

[so1913]

OMG! Girl, you too? The very day that I got my texturizer I had a dream that everybody on NP found out and cussed me out. I did feel like a sellout for about a week or so, then I finally shook it off.

See, that brainwashing ain't no joke. hahahahahaha

When it comes to Black Americans and our hair, the brainwashing definitely goes both ways. We talk about how much a message board is so pro natural anti-relaxer, and "brainwashing" us but we also have to remember and understand that American society for hundreds of years has brainwashed us into thinking that our natural hair is something to be ashamed of and isunacceptable. I know people don't like to point this out, but I just want to be fair here.

BTW: I'm all about doing you, for whatever your reasons are...who am I or anyone else to judge someone on a personal decision they make for themselves that has no effect on me.

 

[hopeg80]

When it comes to Black Americans and our hair, the brainwashing definitely goes both ways. We talk about how much a message board is so pro natural anti-relaxer, and "brainwashing" us but we also have to remember and understand that American society for hundreds of years has brainwashed us into thinking that our natural hair is something to be ashamed of and isunacceptable. I know people don't like to point this out, but I just want to be fair here.

BTW: I'm all about doing you, for whatever your reasons are...who am I or anyone else to judge someone on a personal decision they make for themselves that has no effect on me.

I co sign on all that you are saying. Np.com helped me to not be ashamed of my reasoning for going natural and helped me be confindent with wearing a head full of natural naps.

OMG!! so1913 your hair is beautiful!! It's is so healthy looking and long and your puff is to die for. Go Girl.

 

[so1913]

I co sign on all that you are saying. Np.com helped me to not be ashamed of my reasoning for going natural and helped me be confindent with wearing a head full of natural naps.

OMG!! so1913 your hair is beautiful!! It's is so healthy looking and long and your puff is to die for. Go Girl.

Thanks lady! It's really not that long. If it wasn't for LHCF and NP.com I wouldn't know what to do with this stuff growing out of my head!