Am I Too "old School"? - Text Communication

TinyBlu

TinyBlu

Well-Known Member
So, I know that technology has been a blessing. In fact, I WORK in IT, so I'm surrounded by it every day.

However, IMO, it has created "lazy dating" and bred a class of men that don't step up to the plate and "hunt".

Is it too much to ask for voice-on-voice communication early on? There's a gentleman who has had my number for about 6 months. We see each other on a regular basis at my side hustle job, and there is clearly some mutual interest, but he's never CALLED me. I get a casual text every now and then to which I'll casually respond, but I don't push anything. He's 40 years old. He has a mouth... He's said, in passing, "we should go out" to which I've responded, "You have my number, CALL me", but he never has. I'm not a chaser, so I just let it go and continue our mild flirtation.

This past weekend, he asked me if I was available this coming Friday, and I said yes... crickets chirping...

He came back later said he wanted to take me out, and I AGAIN said "OK... just give me a call, " At this point, I don't see how I can put it any plainer. What pall of CALL ME is so hard to grasp? I have well-meaning (nosy) coworkers that tell me I'm too "picky" or hard on men... Is this an example of that?

I dunno. I don't just randomly give out my number, and there was a time when giving your phone number meant that you were inviting conversation. What happened to "swag"? I think a man that's confident enough to CALL me and ask me on a date is sexy, but the consensus of my acquaintances is that I'm asking too much...

Is this how we communicate now?
 
If he were 22 I could maybe understand his confusion, but this negro is 40. There were rotary dial phones when he was a kid. Every women he dated in his prime, he would have had to call. He is a lazy bum. And he is waiting for you to do the heavy lifting.

But to answer question, yes it’s how many people prefer to communicate, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t teach people what YOU prefer. For future men (because I think you should be done entertaining this one), when they try to text you, simply state that you do not do texting, and if they want to get to know you, they need to call. And then don’t waiver on that. They’ll either get with the program or not. This one has not, and you’ve given him too many chances.
 
Theresamonet said:
If he were 22 I could maybe understand his confusion, but this negro is 40. There were rotary dial phones when he was a kid. Every women he dated in his prime, he would have had to call. He is a lazy bum. And he is waiting for you to do the heavy lifting.

But to answer question, yes it’s how many people prefer to communicate, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t teach people what YOU prefer. For future men (because I think you should be done entertaining this one), when they try to text you, simply state that you do not do texting, and if they want to get to know you, they need to call. And then don’t waiver on that. They’ll either get with the program or not. This one has not, and you’ve given him too many chances.
Click to expand...

I wish I could like this a million times.

@TinyBlu You are more than worthy of a phone conversation. Don't fall prey to these trifling times we are in.
 
This is a result of women doing everything. Because other women accept this he probably doesn't realize its a problem. He's probably used to women making all the plans when he mentions going out or actively making plans on the spot. Your interest will dictate how much time you spend on this one. He hasn't really done anything wrong but he hasn't done anything right either.
 
Black Ambrosia said:
This is a result of women doing everything. Because other women accept this he probably doesn't realize its a problem. He's probably used to women making all the plans when he mentions going out or actively making plans on the spot. Your interest will dictate how much time you spend on this one. He hasn't really done anything wrong but he hasn't done anything right either.
Click to expand...
Wow! I am so glad to see that I wasn't trippin about this. I don't have time to do the work. If a man wants me, he's going to have to show a bit more initiative. Moving on...
 
Honestly..

No matter how he asked by text, phone, email or carrier pigeon - the fact he had my number for 6 whole months and only attempted to set something up now would tell me he's not that into me.

Even if he had called following the request, at this point I wouldn't date him personally for that reason. I don't like that he didn't bother to respond to your request for a phone call.

Side note: some men don't want to start phone communications because they are already seeing someone/in a relationship. I don't know if that is the case here. I don't care if a man has a text preference because I do, but if he acted very avoidant of phone calls it would make me suspicious.
 
Might as well throw a dinosaur in here
tumblr_moz1bxCW421s0e8ajo1_500.gif
 
Theresamonet said:
:lol:

That was the main thing that had me feeling indignant while reading the op. If you are old enough for your parents or grandparents to have had one of these three phones, you better not be out here in 2018 acting like you can’t call somebody.

View attachment 432815 View attachment 432813 View attachment 432811
Click to expand...
You right.

When I moved into my first apartment (outside of the college campus) in the 90's, I bought a phone that looked like this and a telephone table with seat cuz I was all about the retro in my 20's.


My fiancé refused to use that phone on all kinda general principle. He eventually bought a cordless phone and I couldn't resist being untethered. :(
 
Dang yall funny

If this is simply about texting vs calling i dont think its lazy at all texting has taken over the whole world

I have surgery tomorrow and i received a text confrimation about it at 6pm

As for me I would not have "hinted" to any one to call me more then once if i felt strongly abput it

Me: First time ..."call me"

Him: sends a text because EVERYONE thinks this is a valid form of communication...

Me: does not answer because its not my thing but if he is remotely concerned and bothers to inquire i will let him know nicely i perfer to talk and he should call me after 9 .......(Because i remember rotery phones and having quarters and nickles at the pay phones and i want to go back to those simple times)
 
Theresamonet said:
:lol:

That was the main thing that had me feeling indignant while reading the op. If you are old enough for your parents or grandparents to have had one of these three phones, you better not be out here in 2018 acting like you can’t call somebody.

View attachment 432815]
Click to expand...


My grandma still has this phone
6b58169f-67b3-4ef5-9859-2807b0321211-jpeg.432815




and she will not get a new one no matter how much we protest. She now sounds like she is in a tunnel when she talks on it. It is still on her wall. That phone is not just for those who are forties plus. I'd say 33 ish and onward should identify at least this phone in grandma's house. Especially grandma's born around and after the great depression because they were taught to hold on to everything, and they will not let it go (if it works) for dear life. They will find a way to get all the life out of an item and even a way to repurpose it afterwards if necessary. I fully expect that phone to become a paper weight in the future. :look:

:lol: :rofl:
 
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I'd also like to humbly submit these additions... if he remembers this phone:


not just as a rarity but available everywhere...then he needs to know the importance of going out of his way to communicate with someone :lol: . I'm sure flashbacks of getting quarters should be an easy reminder and the whole running out of quarters thing with the feeling of frustration (argh!:lachen:)...which unfortunately cut a call short.

And here is another food for thought.. If he ever had relatives with one of these:


Then...he should know how to call and communicate. If he's ever had to go home because he was expecting a message, and then press play on this darn thing in order to receive precious messages from people, then he should value communication. If he remembers running out of tape or the tape warping and ruining calls :giggle: ...then he should know better. Coupled with if he ever had a phone that did not have call waiting, or he had to ask, "What's call waiting?" and figure it out :giggle: because it was not a feature that was a given...he should know how to put in some gosh darn effort. I'm sure he remembers waiting for the phone in frustration as a family member talked, knowing that he could miss a call from that person who he was waiting to get through, because he did not have call waiting because it wasn't readily available on his phone yet (without being super expensive, etc so mom and dad just didn't get it).



Funny side note:
-----------

I just found an article, because I was trying to find out when call waiting became standard, and it is from 1986 and people were arguing how rude it is (and it was not standard yet I guess as that would take a few more years, just starting to take hold so people were up and arms), just like some are now feeling about texts :lol: . I guess it was available then but I don't think everyone had it at this time. I was super young so who knows. I know we definitely didn't have it, but then I spent my early childhood in Germany so maybe they were behind. Anyways this snippet is hysterical. People were ridiculously annoyed with call waiting :) :

'CALL WAITING' AND OTHER CONUNDRUMS OF MODERN ETIQUETTE
https://www.nytimes.com/1986/10/16/garden/call-waiting-and-other-conundrums-of-modern-etiquette.html
'It's an invention of the devil,'' said Letitia Baldrige, the author of the revised ''Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette'' and the more recent ''Letitia Baldrige's Complete Guide to Executive Manners.''

''Let them call again,'' she said. ''For years people have re-dialed when the line was busy. They waited their turn. When I'm put on hold, I always hope that as my revenge, their other call will be someone wanting to sell them something.''

Mrs. Martin compared call-waiting to ''standing at a cocktail party and not paying attention to the person you're with, waiting for a more important person.''.....
''The telephone demands to be attended to when it feels like it, regardless of what anyone is doing - and my husband and I have simply eliminated that,'' she said. ''We do not need to be reached day and night.''



:lachen:
People have argued about our means of communication for years, as technology rapidly advances. It was actually fun discovering that little article because I'm quite certain that it's standard now and no one thinks a second about it. Just like it's standard for 20 year olds to text. I hope it will never go out of style to communicate though. I mean if you want to get in touch with someone, you don't drag it out for 6 months. That is beyond lazy, and that makes him a beta, and definitely a non hunter. He's putting himself in the position to be the prize and that's...yuck to me. Major turnoff. At age 33-35 plus there should be no excuse.
 
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BonBon said:
Honestly..

No matter how he asked by text, phone, email or carrier pigeon - the fact he had my number for 6 whole months and only attempted to set something up now would tell me he's not that into me.

Even if he had called following the request, at this point I wouldn't date him personally for that reason. I don't like that he didn't bother to respond to your request for a phone call.

Side note: some men don't want to start phone communications because they are already seeing someone/in a relationship. I don't know if that is the case here. I don't care if a man has a text preference because I do, but if he acted very avoidant of phone calls it would make me suspicious.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I let it go. He was just too passive about the whole thing. It was like he was putting his feelers out to see if I would respond. I think in the initial stages the man should be the aggressor.

The nosy (younger) coworkers informed me that he said he was a little apprehensive about calling because "I've got it together"...

That indicates a lack of confidence to me... such a turnoff.
 
luckiestdestiny said:
My grandma still has this phone
6b58169f-67b3-4ef5-9859-2807b0321211-jpeg.432815




and she will not get a new one no matter how much we protest. She now sounds like she is in a tunnel when she talks on it. It is still on her wall. That phone is not just for those who are forties plus. I'd say 33 ish and onward should identify at least this phone in grandma's house. Especially grandma's born around and after the great depression because they were taught to hold on to everything, and they will not let it go (if it works) for dear life. They will find a way to get all the life out of an item and even a way to repurpose it afterwards if necessary. I fully expect that phone to become a paper weight in the future. :look:

:lol: :rofl:
Click to expand...

Im 28 and my grandma had rotary phones. And record players and 8 track players, too lol.

So, we're down to 28ish. Can anyone beat it? Lol
 
luckiestdestiny said:
I'd also like to humbly submit these additions... if he remembers this phone:


not just as a rarity but available everywhere...then he needs to know the importance of going out of his way to communicate with someone :lol: . I'm sure flashbacks of getting quarters should be an easy reminder and the whole running out of quarters thing with the feeling of frustration (argh!:lachen:)...which unfortunately cut a call short.

And here is another food for thought.. If he ever had relatives with one of these:


Then...he should know how to call and communicate. If he's ever had to go home because he was expecting a message, and then press play on this darn thing in order to receive precious messages from people, then he should value communication. If he remembers running out of tape or the tape warping and ruining calls :giggle: ...then he should know better. Coupled with if he ever had a phone that did not have call waiting, or he had to ask, "What's call waiting?" and figure it out :giggle: because it was not a feature that was a given...he should know how to put in some gosh darn effort. I'm sure he remembers waiting for the phone in frustration as a family member talked, knowing that he could miss a call from that person who he was waiting to get through, because he did not have call waiting because it wasn't readily available on his phone yet (without being super expensive, etc so mom and dad just didn't get it).



Funny side note:
-----------

I just found an article, because I was trying to find out when call waiting became standard, and it is from 1986 and people were arguing how rude it is (and it was not standard yet I guess as that would take a few more years, just starting to take hold so people were up and arms), just like some are now feeling about texts :lol: . I guess it was available then but I don't think everyone had it at this time. I was super young so who knows. I know we definitely didn't have it, but then I spent my early childhood in Germany so maybe they were behind. Anyways this snippet is hysterical. People were ridiculously annoyed with call waiting :) :

'CALL WAITING' AND OTHER CONUNDRUMS OF MODERN ETIQUETTE
https://www.nytimes.com/1986/10/16/garden/call-waiting-and-other-conundrums-of-modern-etiquette.html
'It's an invention of the devil,'' said Letitia Baldrige, the author of the revised ''Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette'' and the more recent ''Letitia Baldrige's Complete Guide to Executive Manners.''

''Let them call again,'' she said. ''For years people have re-dialed when the line was busy. They waited their turn. When I'm put on hold, I always hope that as my revenge, their other call will be someone wanting to sell them something.''

Mrs. Martin compared call-waiting to ''standing at a cocktail party and not paying attention to the person you're with, waiting for a more important person.''.....
''The telephone demands to be attended to when it feels like it, regardless of what anyone is doing - and my husband and I have simply eliminated that,'' she said. ''We do not need to be reached day and night.''



:lachen:
People have argued about our means of communication for years, as technology rapidly advances. It was actually fun discovering that little article because I'm quite certain that it's standard now and no one thinks a second about it. Just like it's standard for 20 year olds to text. I hope it will never go out of style to communicate though. I mean if you want to get in touch with someone, you don't drag it out for 6 months. That is beyond lazy, and that makes him a beta, and definitely a non hunter. He's putting himself in the position to be the prize and that's...yuck to me. Major turnoff. At age 33-35 plus there should be no excuse.
Click to expand...

:lachen: I always look for phone booths in the airport and old places in general. I love them. I wouldn't touch one with my bare hands, not even back then, but I'm nostalgic like that. My parents still have an answering machine :lol: I bought a pager in NY in like 98-99, and had it for like 2 weeks, when I realized I had to go get change and find a phone booth to call people that paged me with the "911" and it ended up being nothing, I was like 'nah, i'm lazy, this ain't for me', sold it and ended up getting a cell phone, a Motorola Startac? :look::lol: I remember thinking the antenna thing was so badass :lol:

maxresdefault.jpg

timeport.jpg


And I agree call waiting is rude. Wait your turn! :lol::lol::lol:

On the bolded, I agree, and honestly, they want us to give up the goods, but can't even be bothered to pick up the phone and make a simple phone call? Come on...
 
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