Adultery

[tffy2004]

When you are married and your spouse committs adultery how can you stay in the marriage?

In my head, my way of thinking Adultery=Divorce.

Is there anyone here who has made it to the other side of a spouse committing adultery and it didn't end in divorce, HOW DID YOU DO IT?

I honestly think I would go Crazy!!!

 

[Shimmie]

When you are married and your spouse committs adultery how can you stay in the marriage?

In my head, my way of thinking Adultery=Divorce.

Is there anyone here who has made it to the other side of a spouse committing adultery and it didn't end in divorce, HOW DID YOU DO IT?

I honestly think I would go Crazy!!!

Hi Tffy I love you Darlin'...

Although my marriage ended in divorce I'll share my Personal Experience if it's okay with you:

First you cry; and you cry some more. Then you get angry...at him, at 'her' and him again. You hold out from sex, because all you can think of is that he was with someone else and it causes a wall to come up.

Then you block it out because you want things to be as if it had never happened. Then you actually do forget, until it happens again.

For me, I couldn't live with it. I was just to tired of worrying about where he was and who he was with 'this time.' I'd had enough. There were other issues, as he was also on drugs, then he became 'crazy' and abusive. Ummm, that' was it...enough! He needed to be elsewhere, anywhere than with me and our babies.

There are marriages that do survive. Had my ex stopped after the first encounter and had he not gotten into drugs and had he not become abusive...I would have still left him. That first incident left a wall that I could not tear down... He compromised my 'Trust'.

I don't advise other wives to leave. We have the power of prayer to 'fix' things...I'd rather see a marriage work, then to fail anyday.

Hence, Tffy, this is not your 'lot' in life. Your marriage is under the Blood of Jesus....

Hugs angel...

 

[kweenameena]

Well, I have a study bible and I researched this before and basically in one part of the bible it says that you can divorce your spouse for this but if you read deeper into it says that you shouldn't. I've dealt with a form a infidelity with my spouse (not sex) and I was devasted!!!!! We talked about divorce and were actually going to divorce. I moved with him when he was stationed here in WA state. The first 8 months were hell!!!!! It's like he just didn't get it. He didn't seem remorseful and I was hurting and it seemed as if he didn't care. We went to a counselor once and I didn't feel like she was the right counselor for us. She kinda talked at us. So we didn't go back. Then I got sooo fed up with being unhappy with my husband because he was turning to everyone else but me to fix our problems. I decided that I was moving back home to DC with my daughter. And I just stopped pressing him to act right. he started to notice that I wasn't really "ON" him like that and wanted to figure out how to earn my trust. I told him... it took him awhile but he worked on it. Then we found a new counselor and she was Great!!!!!! I prayed for me and us and worked on me! I didn't listen to the negativity and I had to cut out a lot of people for a little while just to focus. Even my best friend...we're friends again though. But it can be done... it really does take a strong heart and mind though!!!!!!! Sorry for the lonnnnnggg post! Prayer works and heals~

 

[gn1g]

In all things pray.

The key word is committment .

 

[nikipovi]

Let me tell you that I have been there.

You are right, you will go CRAZY!!!!!!!!!! After 6 months of praying and crying and praying and crying, you realize you have to sit still and let God do all the work. The worst thing to do is to sit and listen to all the advice that is given to you from outsiders. You hear so much from so many people that you get more confused than you already are.

I thank the Lord that I am back with my husband and we are surviving. Believe me, it's still hard sometimes to look him in his face. I can't say that I have truly forgiven him but I am still in the process of trying to forgive him.

It's easy to say how you would handle the situation until you are actually in the situation. I always said that I would never stay with my husband if he committed adultery, but after going through it, my actions were totally different.

 

[Lucie]

Adultery is a doozy! However, if my husband were to cheat on me I would really have to look at how he was as a husband overall. I can honestly say that my husband is a great man that gives me very little problem. He keeps his word. Loves our family and treats me like a queen.

Now that is not to say I wouldn't want to introduce his head to a frying pan but just remember how much Jesus was betrayed and still loved.

I remember my pastor talking about the days after Jesus was resurrected and he went to see his disciples. He had every right to tell them about themselves for acting like they did not know him but he was overjoyed to see them.

Also it is natural to be upset and cry and feel betrayed. Anything else would be abnormal. But a marriage can be salvaged. Marriage is about commitment and it is a covenant between you, him and God

 

[Shimmie]

Adultery is a doozy! However, if my husband were to cheat on me I would really have to look at how he was as a husband overall. I can honestly say that my husband is a great man that gives me very little problem. He keeps his word. Loves our family and treats me like a queen.

Now that is not to say I wouldn't want to introduce his head to a frying pan but just remember how much Jesus was betrayed and still loved.

I remember my pastor talking about the days after Jesus was resurrected and he went to see his disciples. He had every right to tell them about themselves for acting like they did not know him but he was overjoyed to see them.

Also it is natural to be upset and cry and feel betrayed. Anything else would be abnormal. But a marriage can be salvaged.

Marriage is about commitment and it is a covenant between you, him and God

Beautiful answer and the truth... Marriage is most definitely "Covenant Protected"...

 

[Mynappturalme]

My experience was similar to Shimmie. I would definately pray and wait on God for an answer. Communicate with your husband, Hopefully pray together. They are right, it is a commitment, a covenant. Just pray and pray that the He takes away the hurt and pain so that you can forgive and rebuild together what was broken.

 

[mrsmeredith]

PRAY PRAY AND PRAY some more. Been there done that and I am happy to say we are in a wonderful marriage and feel blessed that GOD gave me the grace to make it through it. Yes it was hard very hard. You go through every emotion and everyone is in your hear but I never listened to nothing unless they were coming with the word of GOD. Funny thing is, we filed for divorce about 3 times but now I am not ashamed for what I've been through. It was testimony and I will never be ashamed to tell any woman my story and to let her know GOD is bigger than every situation. Don't make your mountain bigger than GOD. Its just not possible. They key is, what do you want and are you afraid to ask for what you want and don't be afraid to tell your folks that yea I still love my man