Act like a goddess..get treated like one!

However, it’s up to them to maintain their positions as royalty by demanding that the men who claim to love them treat them as such. Isn’t it about time you demanded more respect?

Regrettably, it is not as simple as that. You can be born a goddess unto people who tell you are nothing but and treat you like sh*t! If no reputable person comes along and counters these claims, a woman can spend half her adulthood trying to undo what was done to her. In the meantime, she doesn't necessarily make choices that are good for, not because she wants to, but because she doesn't know not how to. Childhood abuse is some powerful mess and can lead to PTSD.

It so easy to sit back and turn one's nose up at a woman struggling to find her way if you don't know her story. Ppl are not born with self-respect! If they were, do you think we'd voluntarily poop our diapers and dribble down our chins? Self-respect, morality and all that comes along with it is supposed to be instilled in us by those who take on the responsibility of raising us.

It would be nice if real goddesses spent time showing lost women the way to regain their "goddesshood" rather than spending so much time telling them what they need to do to get a man. A man can rape, murder, and go to prison and when he gets out, there are other men waiting to help him rehabilitate himself.

A woman makes all kinds of mistakes where men are concerned and all women do is down her.
Women are not born with low self-esteem. They learn it.

So thank you OP for starting this thread reminding women of how valuable they are. I just don't believe it should be done for the sake of a man.
 
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I think that women have a right to the expectation for their spouses to treat them right. Men do too. If either is treating the other badly, they have the right to address this and/or move on.

I get a bit funny about the word "Goddess" as I do the word "Princess".
Goddess and Princess tends to indicate some elevated condescending importance.

"Stand aside mere male mortal, your Goddess is coming through. Now fetch me that over there and then come hither and grovel at my feet".

I think such imagery is a hoot. I would like to try that for a week or so just to know what that is like :)

But seriously while I understand the sentiment, I think, I also think the Goddess thing is overplaying it a bit.
 
Definitely an interesting read.
I always demand that my boyfriend treat me well and thus I've never been mistreated during a relationship. Luckily I've had very very few bad apples. My father always taught me to never let a guy treat me less than I deserve because in a princess and I have him, thus I don't need any ol guy, I need a guy who is going to treat me the way that he treats my mother. :)

I've never put up with less.

I am always working towards improving myself. I constantly set small goals. Currently my goals are to lose weight, grow out my nails, grow my hair to waist length, improve on my cooking, learn about wine, graduate, and improve on my elegance and charm.

My goals for the next couple years are to learn to garden, obtain a nursing degree, get my own place, maintain my new figure and become vegetarian again.

I strive to be an educated, in shape, feminine and classy woman; thus im always working towards those goals.
 
Wow - I don't know how I'm just seeing this awesome thread. IMO - the message has greater application today than when the OP first started the thread. My father passed when I was young so my mother was "our paternal role model" (so to speak) and although she didn't instill the princess ideology in us she did instill that "LADIES are jewels". She taught us how to be and the importance of being a lady.
I in turn have passed these lessons on to my daughter.
As one poster mentioned, some females have not been taught the "etiquette of being a lady". I can only suggest that these women read (positive reinforcement) books, articles on the topic and attend seminars focused on women. It will be well worth the money. Also, assess how you view the behavior of friends, celebrities, and even television shows and movies. If you applaud friends, celebrities and characters who curse, talk loud, act/dress whorish, lack values and self esteem, then chances are you find that behavior acceptable for yourself and for others to treat you accordingly.

I maintain the following beliefs:
I am a jewel and a princess. God is constantly polishing me as a child (Princess) of the King in preparation to meet my Prince. He is doing the same thing to the Prince whom He will unite me with.

Men like to hunt - they are hunters - they do not like to be hunted, so a female who chases a man will not be as successful (if at all) as the woman who allows the man chase her. By the time he finally catches her - the chase has been so good - he can't give up his bounty - he has to make her his!!! (of course I am not referring to stalking or unsafe dominance)

All men want a lady. Whether they can get/keep one is a different story. Men will try to treat a Lady like "something else". When the attempts fail the "real men"take the Lady home to meet the family and the "canine men" go bark up another tree. When the attempts succeed, real men and the "canine men" play with their new toy for a while before casting it aside for the next adventure.

Most men are drawn to women who exhibit characteristics of their mothers (mothers - not women who had a baby).

Acting like a lady (IMO) includes treating her "real man" like the gentlemen he is. He opens car doors, carry packages, refuse to let her pay - so she serves his plate, allows him to take the lead and execute the decisions (and yes it's ok - because the gentleman is going to check with the lady before making a decision)

A well fitted dress with a thigh high split on the leg or, low cut out back or off the shoulders adorned with pearls says "I'm a sensual lady". The crotch high, boobs exposed dress says "Wanna' play? I'm a toy"!
 
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While I agree with the implications of the sentiment “a person can only do to you what you allow them to," and "teach people how to treat you," I am simultaneously wary of them.

This statement can be a bit misleading. Communicating and being vocal about your standards (which I DO agree with) does NOT magically obligate a man (or anyone for that matter) to conform to your expectations, wants, or needs in a relationship.

People are who they are. Unfortunately, not everyone you meet or date will be in a position to give you what you want or need. If a man, for example, never learned the art or importance of active listening (an important trait to me), me telling him I love an active listener (or even teaching him how to actively listen to me) is not a fool-proof way to get him to transform into the listener I need.

I DO believe that YOU decide what you will tolerate from the people in your life; ultimately I alone can decide if I am being treated worthily by those in my life, and if I choose to withstand that treatment. You have the power to dismiss those who you feel don't treat you with the respect you deserve at any moment.

I say all this to say (in this unintentional essay :lol: ) that it is important to understand that most people you meet will not be in a position to give you want, need, or deserve. And that is okay. That expectation, or lack therefore, has helped me to not take it personally when my standards go unmet. Instead, I chalk it up to fate, dust my hands off, and keep it moving.
 
Got my whole life right....If this wasn't the truth.

NGraceO said:
While I agree with the implications of the sentiment “a person can only do to you what you allow them to," and "teach people how to treat you," I am simultaneously wary of them.

This statement can be a bit misleading. Communicating and being vocal about your standards (which I DO agree with) does NOT magically obligate a man (or anyone for that matter) to conform to your expectations, wants, or needs in a relationship.

People are who they are. Unfortunately, not everyone you meet or date will be in a position to give you what you want or need. If a man, for example, never learned the art or importance of active listening (an important trait to me), me telling him I love an active listener (or even teaching him how to actively listen to me) is not a fool-proof way to get him to transform into the listener I need.

I DO believe that YOU decide what you will tolerate from the people in your life; ultimately I alone can decide if I am being treated worthily by those in my life, and if I choose to withstand that treatment. You have the power to dismiss those who you feel don't treat you with the respect you deserve at any moment.

I say all this to say (in this unintentional essay :lol: ) that it is important to understand that most people you meet will not be in a position to give you want, need, or deserve. And that is okay. That expectation, or lack therefore, has helped me to not take it personally when my standards go unmet. Instead, I chalk it up to fate, dust my hands off, and keep it moving.
Click to expand...
 
It's ok to not be ok. You're not gonna have your crap ALL the time. You're human. I know my default answer to "Are you ok?" was usually "I'm fine". I thought it was a weakness to show anything but strength at all times. Lemme tell ya, that ish is tiring! And false. I had to learn that it's in my weak moments, my I'm not ok moments, my freaking out moments, in short my vulnerable moments, those are when people really truly allowed to love me in. No one can TRULY love you otherwise because they're not seeing the real you.

If you refuse to allow people to see that vulnerable side of you, i.e. the side that is open to receiving then guess who you will keep attracting into your life. That's right, people who can't give aka takers! You see no problems with it because you're used to being a pillar of strength at all times for everyone aka a giver that the dance is familiar to you. I urge women to be a little more "selfish" and put themselves first most if not all of the time. Your kids, man, family and friends will be better off for it because they'll have a happier, more content, less resentful you to deal with. It all starts by accepting help and being honest with yourself and everyone else.
 
levette said:
I'm sad to say I have been a doormat most of my life ... I need To make a change ... That original post was brutal but so real ... I deserve to be treated with respect
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That has been my problem as well....I learned so late in life that I was a doormat. All those years I thought I was just being nice and it was the norm...so i always thought the problem was in the guy. I have literally had to unlearn my past behaviors and it's still a work a progress.
 
Smiley79 said:
That has been my problem as well....I learned so late in life that I was a doormat. All those years I thought I was just being nice and it was the norm...so i always thought the problem was in the guy. I have literally had to unlearn my past behaviors and it's still a work a progress.
Click to expand...


What steps did you take to change?
 
sweetvi said:
What steps did you take to change?
Click to expand...

It's hard for me to answer this because I'm still working on it; sometimes I'll do awesome for many months and then all of a sudden have an emotional setback, but I learned to not be so hard of myself and just let that moment run it's course and move on. Here's a few things that have helped me though and please excuse that my points are all over the place. Some things are hard to put into words and most of them are inner experiences.

Therapy helped a lot. Learning about Codependency was like unlocking a door to a room I had been trapped in for decades. By unloading a lot of deep inner issues I have been able to make room for my true self and lessen the need to be a people pleaser or the need to seek validation in order to feel good about myself. Not a comfortable subject but definitely worth it in the end.

Another thing I do that helps is that I take a little time before making a decision. My wanting to be a pleaser and nurturing person meant that I always said Yes and signed myself up for anything; sometimes it was good, but many times I felt used, bitter, resentful or empty in the end. So by holding off on saying yes, or holding off on putting myself in certain situations, it has allowed me to give matters some thought BEFORE I do it or say it. As a result, I have avoided many situations that I ordinarily would have put myself in in the past. Examples include, giving out my number, agreeing to hanging out or being set up with someone, doing favors for someone I barely know, etc....Learning to say No has been the best thing ever. It sounds corny, but I feel so empowered when I say no, lolll, Not in a stank way, but when I hear me actually stand up for myself by saying NO to something and NOT feel obligated to explain myself thereafter, it is one of the best feelings ever!

Pamper and baby myself. Not just beauty wise. But overall, when I engage myself in things that help me learn, grow, relax, stay healthy, etc, I feel elevated and productive and I'm less likely to let anyone walk over me because I'm too busy doing things that cannot be interrupted by the nonsense of a person who doesn't contribute, support, or further elevate me.

Last but not least, prayer and Bible reading. When you struggle to find your own value due to childhood experiences or past experiences, it helps to read about the one who created me and how much he loves; how he proves his love for me as an individual and learning what he plans to do about a lot of things that make me sad or disappointed in life. Feelings of hope replace my feelings of helplessness...so I have come to enjoy bible reading and prayer to keep that inner reservoir full (especially for those times when I get a little drained or off track emotionally)
 
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Smiley79 said:
It's hard for me to answer this because I'm still working on it; sometimes I'll do awesome for many months and then all of a sudden have an emotional setback, but I learned to not be so hard of myself and just let that moment run it's course and move on. Here's a few things that have helped me though and please excuse that my points are all over the place. Some things are hard to put into words and most of them are inner experiences.

Therapy helped a lot. Learning about Codependency was like unlocking a door to a room I had been trapped in for decades. By unloading a lot of deep inner issues I have been able to make room for my true self and lessen the need to be a people pleaser or the need to seek validation in order to feel good about myself. Not a comfortable subject but definitely worth it in the end.

Another thing I do that helps is that I take a little time before making a decision. My wanting to be a pleaser and nurturing person meant that I always said Yes and signed myself up for anything; sometimes it was good, but many times I felt used, bitter, resentful or empty in the end. So by holding off on saying yes, or holding off on putting myself in certain situations, it has allowed me to give matters some thought BEFORE I do it or say it. As a result, I have avoided many situations that I ordinarily would have put myself in in the past. Examples include, giving out my number, agreeing to hanging out or being set up with someone, doing favors for someone I barely know, etc....Learning to say No has been the best thing ever. It sounds corny, but I feel so empowered when I say no, lolll, Not in a stank way, but when I hear me actually stand up for myself by saying NO to something and NOT feel obligated to explain myself thereafter, it is one of the best feelings ever!

Pamper and baby myself. Not just beauty wise. But overall, when I engage myself in things that help me learn, grow, relax, stay healthy, etc, I feel elevated and productive and I'm less likely to let anyone walk over me because I'm too busy doing things that cannot be interrupted by the nonsense of a person who doesn't contribute, support, or further elevate me.

Last but least, prayer and Bible reading. When you struggle to find your own value due to childhood experiences or past experiences, it helps to read about the one who created me and how much he loves; how he proves his love for me as an individual and learning what he plans to do about a lot of things that make me sad or disappointed in life. Feelings of hope replace my feelings of helplessness...so I have come to enjoy bible reading and prayer to keep that inner reservoir full (especially for those times when I get a little drained or off track emotionally)
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Thank you! That was wonderful :-) we are all a work in progress but I'm glad your able to recognize and work towards fixing it
 
This is SO GOOD.. I was a first year teacher and I let students walk all over me ALL YEAR.. I would yell and SCREAM and nothing changed. I was being gaslighted by one of my students. this was a big mirror for me.. I have low confidence in myself so I didn't demand respect in the way I carried myself.. It also applied to dating and other areas of my life as well. my goal for next fall is that my students know and respect my boundaries and LEARN and others as well
 
@luthiengirlie - much success to you and your "re-imaging" goal.

Among many other things, my M:rose:ther also instilled this into me and my siblings. There is a light within that doesn't have a switch where it can be turned on or off, depending on persons, locations or situations. It's always on, shining brightly. It's never discussed with others although it's existence is known and visible, evident through words, deeds and actions. It allows others to see clearly who you are and what you represent. This light, is your (the) "Guiding Light" and it should shine everywhere you go. :angel2:
 
I discovered a quote that rocked my world earlier this year. "God lives in you, as you." I don't remember who said it but thank you whoever it was. Similar to what Marianne Williamson said, who am I not to be brilliant, gorgeous, rich, and super intelligent? Who am I to allow others to treat me badly? To abuse and walk all over me? To choose not to defend myself? My job is to protect me, be all I can be, shine as brightly as possible, and love and respect myself completely. All because God lives in me at all times.
 
caribeandiva said:
I discovered a quote that rocked my world earlier this year. "God lives in you, as you." I don't remember who said it but thank you whoever it was. Similar to what Marianne Williamson said, who am I not to be brilliant, gorgeous, rich, and super intelligent? Who am I to allow others to treat me badly? To abuse and walk all over me? To choose not to defend myself? My job is to protect me, be all I can be, shine as brightly as possible, and love and respect myself completely. All because God lives in me at all times.
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I love this! OMG!!!!

There is a reason why some women who are seen as difficult are able to pull men that leave others speechless. These women are confident, ask the tough questions and don't care about anyone else's feelings but their own, especially if they are trying to get something out of the relationship. Seriously, the women I know who fit this description have all married good men with awesome careers and cherish them. No one respects a doormat. They will use you until there's nothing to give. I just hope this message encourages someone.

I think it's important to be consistent and mindful of those we allow into our circles. If we're not careful, we'll have people around for the sake of familiarity, which can be dangerous. We have the power to cut people off. Use it! Don't make plans for the next day, week, month or even year. Do it right away. Start with your social media, family and friends. If you're in a city you dislike, move. You hate your job, change it. Feel disrespected by family and friends, leave them.

One of my old suitors used to call me a goddess. I have tapped into it. And now have men at my disposal, trying to take me out, spend time with me and everything else. Demand more from yourself and men. Way more! One can be godly and still set healthy, but firm boundaries. Shine on, ladies!
 
One of the killers for a lot of women is neediness. This can be so dangerous in relationships because men generally speaking do not like it, they feel suffocated and controlled.

As a woman you have to be confident in yourself, have your own friends and your own interests away from your relationship. Don't be so dependant on him and constantly checking your phone looking for texts and updates from him. It's not particularly attractive.

It's hard cause I was like this throughout my 20s and early 30s, I had to work on myself to change.
 
LushLox said:
One of the killers for a lot of women is neediness. This can be so dangerous in relationships because men generally speaking do not like it, they feel suffocated and controlled.

As a woman you have to be confident in yourself, have your own friends and your own interests away from your relationship. Don't be so dependant on him and constantly checking your phone looking for texts and updates from him. It's not particularly attractive.

It's hard cause I was like this throughout my 20s and early 30s, I had to work on myself to change.
Click to expand...
*iPhone Clapping Hands emoji*

I struggle with this so much, but now I think I see the light.
 
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