Hi ladies, I'm in a very strange phase of my life, and don't have people to seek advice from IRL.
I don't know where to start. During my late teens I was loved very much by my family and friends. People respected me and appreciated me. I was very giving and worked too hard and gave all my savings to whoever needed it in my immediate family, I wouldn't spend a penny for myself. Academically I was not bright but hardworking and entered medical school to everyone's surprise. Looks wise, I was beautiful and had a good shape. All way round I was very happy and loved. I had friends and family who loved me.
When I reached 21, things suddenly went downhill. I failed medical school, i was in thousands of pounds debt, I was obese, and without money. I lost all respect and love quite suddenly from family, I became very insecure and had no self esteem. I started midwifery course and lived away from family. No phone calls, no how are you. This didn't happen in one go, it happened slowly.
I'm at a point now, where I have virtually no self esteem. I have no friends. And family does not bother with me. I'm struggling in the last year of my midwifery course and have been set an ultimatum by university to pass this next year coming, as I have taken out a year already due to depression.
All of this would not have been a problem, if the only two people left in my life (my mother and sister) were treating me well. Up until 2 days ago I would never thought of reflecting on my life, if it wasn't for the millionth time my sister mistreating me. I went to her house to have a shower as the boiler at our new place needs a test before we can use it. I had written the whole incident down and then deleted it because it's too much detail, but basically she put me out the house wet, when i had literally stepped out of the shower to open the door for her, (she was going out shopping and had forgotten something in the house) when I opened the door I was wet and only had a towel on me. we got into an argument because she always lies to me and forces me to do things that I don't want to do. Anyway she put me out the house. As usual no apology no nothing. I'm kinda sick of her mistreatment, and every time SHE mistreats me I am the one going back to her. Because I have no one else, and she knows that. It's painful having to sit at home all day long with no internet, no tv, no person to talk to, which is why every time she mistreats me I go back to her without her apologising to me. She knows this. And as much as I hate her for it, I can't help feeling miserable being alone all the time.
I told myself, I'm gonna stick it out this time. No companionship is better than bad companionship.
Any advice?
Also bear in mind I have mild social anxiety, probably alien to most of you. It's when you're insecure lack self esteem and desperately want to interact with people but can't. I have no friends also, to replace her companionship
I don't know where to start. During my late teens I was loved very much by my family and friends. People respected me and appreciated me. I was very giving and worked too hard and gave all my savings to whoever needed it in my immediate family, I wouldn't spend a penny for myself. Academically I was not bright but hardworking and entered medical school to everyone's surprise. Looks wise, I was beautiful and had a good shape. All way round I was very happy and loved. I had friends and family who loved me.
When I reached 21, things suddenly went downhill. I failed medical school, i was in thousands of pounds debt, I was obese, and without money. I lost all respect and love quite suddenly from family, I became very insecure and had no self esteem. I started midwifery course and lived away from family. No phone calls, no how are you. This didn't happen in one go, it happened slowly.
I'm at a point now, where I have virtually no self esteem. I have no friends. And family does not bother with me. I'm struggling in the last year of my midwifery course and have been set an ultimatum by university to pass this next year coming, as I have taken out a year already due to depression.
All of this would not have been a problem, if the only two people left in my life (my mother and sister) were treating me well. Up until 2 days ago I would never thought of reflecting on my life, if it wasn't for the millionth time my sister mistreating me. I went to her house to have a shower as the boiler at our new place needs a test before we can use it. I had written the whole incident down and then deleted it because it's too much detail, but basically she put me out the house wet, when i had literally stepped out of the shower to open the door for her, (she was going out shopping and had forgotten something in the house) when I opened the door I was wet and only had a towel on me. we got into an argument because she always lies to me and forces me to do things that I don't want to do. Anyway she put me out the house. As usual no apology no nothing. I'm kinda sick of her mistreatment, and every time SHE mistreats me I am the one going back to her. Because I have no one else, and she knows that. It's painful having to sit at home all day long with no internet, no tv, no person to talk to, which is why every time she mistreats me I go back to her without her apologising to me. She knows this. And as much as I hate her for it, I can't help feeling miserable being alone all the time.
I told myself, I'm gonna stick it out this time. No companionship is better than bad companionship.
Any advice?
Also bear in mind I have mild social anxiety, probably alien to most of you. It's when you're insecure lack self esteem and desperately want to interact with people but can't. I have no friends also, to replace her companionship
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umm I wouldn't say cut your sister off but let her know that you can not tolerate her mistreatment and let her know how it makes you feel. 
Girl you gotta curb that spending if you intend on sticking to that $100 budget. You only have only $4.56 to spend each month for the rest of the year. That includes this month
I'm terrible with keeping track of money but it might be ok It's in £'s though, not $'s so i should be able to get a fair few products with whats left. I only buy conditioners and shampoos in litre bottles, so i have loads of that and wont need any for about 6 months. I use what ever oil is in the kitchen, so i don't count that either. It's just on leave ins and moisturizers. In a tight squeeze i can use conditioner as a leave in. I think i might be able to do it 
