Abstinence Challenge 365, 24-7

JuJuBoo said:
Sex is a beautiful thing (I'm told :look: ), so don't feel wrong for saying you enjoy it. I'd be worried if you weren't, and still having sex with your SO.

Having that said, the question is what's more important to you? Your relationship with your SO? Or your relationship with God?

The last thing you need to worry about is how no sex is going to impact your relationship, cause the truth is--if this dude dumps you because you want to pursue a closer relationship with God, than he's not worth your time. :ohwell:

I hope I'm not too blunt. I'm blunt because i've seen friend after friend and friend choose the rather (the boyfriend) and regret it. :(
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I totally agree! great post! :yep:
 
MissJ said:
The easiest challenge ever. I'm definitely in! ;)
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I know, right? Thankfully, I have SO who calms me down! He keeps us focused on our goal.
 
NYCQT16 said:
see..that's me! I want to get closer to God but I really feel like I cannot due to me having sex. I keep thinking to just go as I am and through faith and patience and dedication, those sexual desires will pass away but I feel so guilty to read the Bible or pray, knowing next time I see my SO I will be doing the do. I also hope I'm not bringing wrongness in the thread by saying this, but for me it's hard b/c it is something I enjoy and feels good and I guess I feel like ok I already did the do, what will it matter when I get married anyway.

I would like to know if there are any ladies who were already in a relationship that involved sex and then in that same relationship turned celibate successfully? Did the relationship end, or were you able to be celibate in the relationship without the relationhip turning sour?
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Hi, NYCQT16 :wave:

I had to make a choice between my SO or God. I had to ask myself some questions:

1)Who will love me unconditonally?
2)Becuase I'm a Christian, who is it I need to follow, the world or Jesus?
3)The pleasure that I'm receiving, is it better then the love from God?
4)Would God approve of my lifestyle?

See I realized that I too wasn't worthy of reading the Bible or going to Church becuase I was having sex (and doin' a whoooole lot of other stuff :rolleyes:). I was feeling guilty. Gulity becuase I was playing with the fact that Jesus died for us and I'm treating God's property this way. :nono: I had to end all my relationships (I was a little bit of a playa :kiss2::lol: ). But it was my first step towards becoming closer to God and living my life the way He wants.

Why did I do this? Because Exodus 34:14 tells us that God is a jealous and He wants you to worship Him only. I had to take out the things in my life that were blocking me from achieving this.

I hope my testimony helped you. :kiss:
 
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JuJuBoo said:
Sex is a beautiful thing (I'm told :look: ), so don't feel wrong for saying you enjoy it. I'd be worried if you weren't, and still having sex with your SO.

Having that said, the question is what's more important to you? Your relationship with your SO? Or your relationship with God?

The last thing you need to worry about is how no sex is going to impact your relationship, cause the truth is--if this dude dumps you because you want to pursue a closer relationship with God, than he's not worth your time. :ohwell:

I hope I'm not too blunt. I'm blunt because i've seen friend after friend and friend choose the rather (the boyfriend) and regret it. :(
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This is sooo true Juu Juu Boo. :yep: Honestly, I was in a relationship, and because I told him I was getting closer to the Lord and wanted to stop having sex, he dumped me. :ohwell: He may have dropped me, but Jesus picked me up. :angel:
 
Again, I have to say this is a wonderful thread. In person, I don't know one other female who is waiting until marriage (whether they have already had sex or not) to get down w/ the get down. I just want to encourage everyone. It may look hard, but there are some things that you can do in the physical (as well as spiritually praying, staying the in the Word, speaking scripture and what you are trying to accomplish over your life, etc.). Just to give an example, I'll tell my situation and what I am doing.

I've been in a relationship (my first boyfriend cuz I waited on someone who I knew that the Lord would have for me) for over 3 and a half yrs. I'm 22 and he is 23. We are both a man and woman of God, so we knew from the beginning that there would be no action until after we both said, "I do." So from the very beginning we would limit our kisses cuz kissing only causes you to want to do more. I have my own apartment, so when he would be at my house, he would leave by a certain time. There was no chillin' all long in the night hours. Also, he would never really step in my bedroom unless it was to get something for me or something like that. There would be no, "oh...we are both tired, so lets just take a nap." We would do fun things like watch movies, play games even work out together. Now after three years of being with the person that you know God has for you, you start to get more and more affectionate. We found ourselves innocently starting to lay down on the couch to watch movies. Not on top of each other or anything. Just side by side. Big no no! Now we just sit up or one lets the other lay down. If I am just having a chill day at my apartment by myself and have on a lil' tank top and some skimpy tight short shorts and he pops up, I will tell him to hold on and I will go change. I know that him seeing me like that will turn him on. I don't know if this stuff sounds silly, but I am telling you that little things help. I am telling you from experience. I can truly say that we are both are still going to go into marriage still pure for each other. And for those who have already had sex, you can now start to do things to help you and your partner to wait. It is never too late...I have already read other posts where encouragement was given...don't give up or feel bad!

Are there any other suggestions that can be given?
 
WOW what a great story of encouragement mzcaramelicious07. :yay: Thank you for sharing this. :kiss: I've learned from your experiences. :yep:

I will remember this when I get into my next relationship (no rush though :lol: ). I'm single right now and following Christ. My biggest mistake was taking things too fast in a relationship. I would find myself falling in lust with a person and mistook for love. :nono:

Also you mentioned about dressing appropriatly and this is true. I've found out that as I'm getting closer to God, I dress and carry myself with more dignity since we are daughters of the King. :yep:
 
Wow, how wonderful. It's a blessing to know you guys are out there!!!!!!

Lean on the Lord, and He will see you through.
 
I abstained from sex for 2 years but during that time still, i feel that I cant 'get in good' with God. Thank you so much for that encouragement however. You guys are soo helpful.
 
see..that's me! I want to get closer to God but I really feel like I cannot due to me having sex. I keep thinking to just go as I am and through faith and patience and dedication, those sexual desires will pass away but I feel so guilty to read the Bible or pray, knowing next time I see my SO I will be doing the do. I also hope I'm not bringing wrongness in the thread by saying this, but for me it's hard b/c it is something I enjoy and feels good and I guess I feel like ok I already did the do, what will it matter when I get married anyway.

I would like to know if there are any ladies who were already in a relationship that involved sex and then in that same relationship turned celibate successfully? Did the relationship end, or were you able to be celibate in the relationship without the relationhip turning sour?
__________________
NYCQT we are on the exact same page, but I realize now more than ever that I have to stop because its taking a toll on me spiritually, I wasn't convicted before but I feel God is convicting me right now, I feel so bound by this sin and I want to be free, personally I think this is the main obstacle that's blocking me and my relationship with God. I hope everything works out for you. Be Blessed
 
NYCQT

I understand how you feel, I felt the same way in my last relationship. I'd always wanted to become a christian but I was too scared that my relationship would end if I stopped having sex. I eventually told my boyfriend that I wanted to stop and he said all the right things, like he'd support me and all that. We stopped for a while, but because we still hung out and slept in the same bed, we inevitably continued to have sex, and I felt so guilty all the time. But I reasoned by saying that we'd get married anyway. But, the relationship fell apart after he started to cheating. The point is that celibacy has to be the goal of both persons in the relationship, if your boyfriend isn't 100% committed to that, it will be very difficult, and will probably strain your relationship. Is your boyfriend a christian?
 
My advice: If you are weak, don't let yourself be ALONE with him. :lachen:

Let me post my little sad ( and short) story...... :(

Last week I was over a friend's house, I'll call him "K". "Y" was there too ( I like Y) and we were all talking about this book that Y is writing. Any way, K leaves so now it is just me and Y in the room.
Now, I'm not Christian but I've felt the need to stop all sexual activities that include me and naked men. :lachen: Casual sex does nothing but cause stress and problems. :( So far I think it has been a 4months (thats a looooooooong time in CatSuga years) .
But yall, I felt sooooooooo weak being in the room alone with him.
I was laying on the bed and Y was sitting across from me in a chair. I keep hearing that little lustful voice in my head, "Just get him on the bed, just get him on the bed". I tried my BEST to get him to sit by me on that dang bed.
"Come look at this."
"What's this on my toes?"
"Scratch my back."
"What's this on my back?"
"Touch my hair; does it feel dry? "

After my FAILED attempt at man rape I regained my senses and felt really bad. I don't even know this guys mama name and was about to "mount" him. I know now that if I would have had sex with him I would have felt like a cheapo loser slut and it would have killed our friendship. :(
 
sugaplum said:
WOW what a great story of encouragement mzcaramelicious07. :yay: Thank you for sharing this. :kiss: I've learned from your experiences. :yep:

I will remember this when I get into my next relationship (no rush though :lol: ). I'm single right now and following Christ. My biggest mistake was taking things too fast in a relationship. I would find myself falling in lust with a person and mistook for love. :nono:

Also you mentioned about dressing appropriatly and this is true. I've found out that as I'm getting closer to God, I dress and carry myself with more dignity since we are daughters of the King. :yep:
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Hey...I'm just now seeing this! :) You're welcome. I know that it is easier for someone to understand from someone elses experience. Yes, and I do agree w/ u that it is best to take things slow. Girl I was 19 when I met my boyfriend. He is my first boyfriend (and I am also his first girlfriend) because we kept ourselves for someone who met both our individual and God's standards. And also the way you dress can reflect who you are inside. Fitted and everything is nice, but I draw the line at skin booty tight and showing the actuall goods (breast, etc)!! :nono:
 
Okay...this is too funny.

Y'all I washed my hair this morning and was deep conditioning under the dryer. Well, I don't have a robe, so I will sit under the dryer in a towel since I live by myself. I am away from home at college and my boyfriend is the closest one to me down here, so I gave him my spare set of keys to my house in case I would ever lock myself out. Well, out of all times for him to surprise me and use the key instead of knocking, he used it today! I was sitting booty butt naked w/ just a towel on in my living room under the dryer. Well, y'all God knows cuz in the midst of the dryer and tv on, I heard the door knob being messed with. Why did I automatically turn into Flo Jo and jump up from that dryer and sprint to the bathroom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I made it up off of that floor and out of his sight in .2 seconds flat! By the time he made it through the door, I was gone!! lol I was crackin' up thinking about this thread! :lachen:
 
mzcaramelicious07 said:
Hey...I'm just now seeing this! :) You're welcome. I know that it is easier for someone to understand from someone elses experience. Yes, and I do agree w/ u that it is best to take things slow. Girl I was 19 when I met my boyfriend. He is my first boyfriend (and I am also his first girlfriend) because we kept ourselves for someone who met both our individual and God's standards. And also the way you dress can reflect who you are inside. Fitted and everything is nice, but I draw the line at skin booty tight and showing the actuall goods (breast, etc)!! :nono:
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This is VERY unique! God has truly blessed you! I also liked your previous post! It helped me too with giving me more tips in order to prevent from having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend who isn't a virgin.
 
Poohbear said:
This is VERY unique! God has truly blessed you! I also liked your previous post! It helped me too with giving me more tips in order to prevent from having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend who isn't a virgin.
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Good, good! I'm glad I could help.....or I should say I'm glad God helped...He allowed me to be used for His good. Let me quit trying to take credit for stuff that ain't mine! lol
 
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I'm in. I've sort of been on this challenge all my life (apart from when I didn't know what sex was of course, coz then it wasn't a challenge). But I'm going to reform the rules a bit. For me this challenge means:
-No rude thoughts
-Turning my eyes away from anything remotely sexual in nature
- No kissing on the lips, when I have a boyfriend. This might be the really hard part.
...as well as all the others stated above.
 
IntelligenceisBeautiful said:
NYCQT we are on the exact same page, but I realize now more than ever that I have to stop because its taking a toll on me spiritually, I wasn't convicted before but I feel God is convicting me right now, I feel so bound by this sin and I want to be free, personally I think this is the main obstacle that's blocking me and my relationship with God. I hope everything works out for you. Be Blessed
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Thank you. I hope everything works out for you too. It is sooooo hard tho :ohwell:
 
sithembile said:
NYCQT

I understand how you feel, I felt the same way in my last relationship. I'd always wanted to become a christian but I was too scared that my relationship would end if I stopped having sex. I eventually told my boyfriend that I wanted to stop and he said all the right things, like he'd support me and all that. We stopped for a while, but because we still hung out and slept in the same bed, we inevitably continued to have sex, and I felt so guilty all the time. But I reasoned by saying that we'd get married anyway. But, the relationship fell apart after he started to cheating. The point is that celibacy has to be the goal of both persons in the relationship, if your boyfriend isn't 100% committed to that, it will be very difficult, and will probably strain your relationship. Is your boyfriend a christian?
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No he's not...or yes he is. Depends on what you define as Christian :look: Does he believe in God, yes. But does he go to church, read the Bible, really pratice the Word? No. Neither do I. We both have expressed a desire to get closer to God but we haven't made any real steps. I know that the relationship will falter if we both don't 100% commit to it. It's so hard for me right now :ohwell:
 
JuJuBoo said:
Sex is a beautiful thing (I'm told :look: ), so don't feel wrong for saying you enjoy it. I'd be worried if you weren't, and still having sex with your SO.

Having that said, the question is what's more important to you? Your relationship with your SO? Or your relationship with God?

The last thing you need to worry about is how no sex is going to impact your relationship, cause the truth is--if this dude dumps you because you want to pursue a closer relationship with God, than he's not worth your time. :ohwell:

I hope I'm not too blunt. I'm blunt because i've seen friend after friend and friend choose the rather (the boyfriend) and regret it. :(
Click to expand...

I don't have a relationship with God...not the way I want. Having a relationship with Him (God) though is more important. I know you are right about that (if he dumps me). I tend to worry and over analyze, so for me it's looking like this. Let's say I say I am going to be celibate, he dumps me, I begin celibacy but still don't get close to God, get in a new relationship, have sex...then what was the whole point of losing the relationship for celibacy that didn't get me the goal of closeness? (rhetorical question). I just don't know whether it makes more sense for my goal (to be closer to God) to stop having sex and then pursue the relationship with God, or pursue the relationship with God and let the desires pass away? B/C without God I KNOW I cannot begin or stay celibate *sigh* :ohwell:

Thank u for the questions JuJuBoo...they opened my eyes to more questions I need to consider
 
missyT said:
I'm in. I've sort of been on this challenge all my life (apart from when I didn't know what sex was of course, coz then it wasn't a challenge). But I'm going to reform the rules a bit. For me this challenge means:
-No rude thoughts
-Turning my eyes away from anything remotely sexual in nature
- No kissing on the lips, when I have a boyfriend. This might be the really hard part.
...as well as all the others stated above.
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I understand you sooo much with this quote, MissyT. :yep:

Ever since I've become celibate, since I no longer have sex, the devil trys to bring up past impure thoughts in my mind!! It'll come from out of no where!! :shocked: But everytime I call on the name of Jesus, and ask that the thought be rebuked...it's gone!! :)
 
well I've been on this challenge since I was born. :lol: And I plan to stay on it for a while. Now I am single it is a lot easier to stay on it than when your in a relationship.
 
locabouthair said:
well I've been on this challenge since I was born. :lol: And I plan to stay on it for a while. Now I am single it is a lot easier to stay on it than when your in a relationship.
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Welcome Locabouthair. :yay: God bless you for joining. :rosebud:

And you brought up a good point about how it's easier to take on a challenge like this when your single then when your in a relationship. :yep: IMHO, I am more focused on the Lord without any distractions. :)
 
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