Abstinence Challenge 365, 24-7

[tuffCOOKiE]

Hopefully this didnt post twice.

I know that I will never be worthy for God. Ever. It's a little disempowering. I lost my virginity to a guy that I thought I was in love with and since then my walk w God has not been the same. Not because i think that sex is bad, but because I feel that I let someone I really care about down. It's like having a father that told you not to do something and he caught you doing it. You feel stupid and ashamed and guilty. I ended it but the guilt is still there. I want to work for a better relationshop. We'll see...

 

[Starian]

I agree with the above comment. I've done too much to ever be worthy of God. If I believed in hell, in a fire and brimstone sense, I'm sure I'd have a special place.

 

[Poohbear]

tuffCOOKiE and Starian... you do not have to think that way!!!

Satan wants you to think that you are unworthy and will put guilt and shame in your minds!!! Don't give Satan that power!!!

Look to Jesus! The Holy Spirit will comfort you once you repent. It doesn't matter how many times, how many guys, you can immediately stop and do it no more until you are married and you will feel much better about yourself!

God forgives and forgets sin. I know we are human and it's hard to forgive ourselves or forget our sin. You may not be a virgin to the world but you would be a virgin to God once you have let go of sexual sin.

I hope that helps! God bless you!!!

 

[carribslc]

I want in! I'm a 19 almost 20 yr old virgin but it gets harder and harder as the years go by. I know I can't be like Paul, but I know the spirit of God will help me hold on to what I've got right now.
God bless you Sugaplum for starting this challenge. It came just at the right time!

 

[beverly]

I love this thread,thanks for starting it sugaplum! We all need encouragement, in the past I have found it hard to abstain and to continue it once I've meet someone that I really like. I am just sorry it took me so long to get to this point

But that the things that have help me is to not date anyone who does not have the same beliefs that I do. Flesh is weak, don't tempt it, and people will try to get you on there agenda. Before my commitment was more to myself, now its for God, all my wants are secondary. Once my mind was renewed, it actually became easy.

NatalieD I am believing in God to exceed my expectations, in fact, I expect my 100 fold blessing this year !


I like that part about pretending Jesus is right there beside you, that is a good one!

Starian and Tuffcookie you are worthy - those thoughts only come from Satan, Jesus said himself he came so that you might be forgiven of ALL of your sins. He does not remember you past, that is if ask for forgivess AND turn from it. He knows your heart. Even if you fall again, get back up and start over again. Just know you can't walk into your blessing until you get it right, so that should be motivating you as well. All that matters is Jesus opinion, not the worlds. You can not walk into the plan that God has for you, until you let go of your past!

 

[Kalani]

But that the things that have help me is to not date anyone who does not have the same beliefs that I do. Flesh is weak, don't tempt it, and people will try to get you on there agenda. Before my commitment was more to myself, now its for God, all my wants are secondary. Once my mind was renewed, it actually became easy.

Good statement! I've been practicing abstinence for years but in the beginning it was painfully difficult! It took some training and realizing I need to steer clear from certain situations and resist dating a certain amount....okay a large amount ... of guys.
I'm to a point now where abstaining is rather effortless compared to how it use to be. The worst thing that can happen at this point is certain thoughts or urges may pop up but they are fairly easy to manage versus an actual guy and situation.

Believe or not there is great satisfaction in abstinence. I don't know what it is but there is such a sense of empowerment! With holding my body from guys is...well, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a bit gratifying. But of course the most wonderful feeling of all is feeling clean and acceptable before God.

 

[carribslc]

tuffCOOKiE and Starian... you do not have to think that way!!!

Satan wants you to think that you are unworthy and will put guilt and shame in your minds!!! Don't give Satan that power!!!

Look to Jesus! The Holy Spirit will comfort you once you repent. It doesn't matter how many times, how many guys, you can immediately stop and do it no more until you are married and you will feel much better about yourself!

God forgives and forgets sin. I know we are human and it's hard to forgive ourselves or forget our sin. You may not be a virgin to the world but you would be a virgin to God once you have let go of sexual sin.

I hope that helps! God bless you!!!

Poohbear, as always you are full of words of encouragement

 

[Ms Red]

I'm in! I have a long-term boyfriend and it is sometimes difficult, but in over 2 1/2 years, he's never pressured me and he respects me. Attending church helps both of us stay connected to the word. I can't lie, I've had sexual thoughts, feelings, touched. . . but I pray for strength because I know that God's been with me this far, and He won't give up on me!

This is a great challenge! BTW, I am 25 and a virgin *sighs* and my boyfriend is 27 and not a virgin.

Did I mention that it's not easy?

*cupcake*

 

[LDebagoria]

I am definitely not a Virgin, but I have no qualms with this.
I will admit that for a while, sex was clouding my thoughts and better judgement.

But, I am writing because for the first time since I've lost my Virginity, I have been abstinate for almost a year, and I have had a BOYfriend over this period of time! So, I am very proud of myself.

At first, I was annoyed because I wasn't havng sex in this relationship, but as time passed, I realized that I needed this time to just chill! I feel better now that I've had this time, more "cleansed" if you will. One thing I really notice is that my friends are SO concerned whether or not I'm having sex with my b/f, that they'll ask me about my SEX LIFE before they ask me how I've been or how school's going! Seeing their obsession with sex really made me glad that I've had this abstaining time, although I was never sex-obsessed!

So now I feel better about myself for waiting, and I'll feel more comfortable waiting for longer!

 

[divinefavor]

I'm in! I've been abstaining for almost 2 years now (2 years in December)! I'm patiently waiting for God to send my mate! Whew, but it gets haaaaaaaard sometimes! WHERE HE AT LORD, WHERE HE AT??!?!?!?!!!! Just kidding.

THANK YOU JESUS FOR KEEPING ME!

I'll be praying for you all and please pray for me!

Starian and Tuffcookie - God has forgiven you, now repent and forgive yourself (if you haven't done it already). You are worthy of everything that God has planned and purposed for your life. It's a trick of the devil to make us think that we aren't worthy of God's blessings in order to keep us from the promises of God. However, there are some things that God will delay from us until we get in order and line up with His will. I'm the first to tell you that it is not easy, but there is something about having a heart for God, wanting to live wholeheartedly for Him and not wanting to break His heart. God will keep you and will reward your faithfulness toward him. Whenever you feel the urge (as I sometimes do) and it becomes unbearable give one of us here a holler or call on friends who you know that living for Christ has become their lifestyle. Be Blessed!

 

[sugaplum]

Welcome, 19sweetie, pebbles, ladydee36330, tuffcookie, starian, carribslc, dtachi, LDebagoria, Divinefavor.

God bless you all for joining ladies.

Here's a scriptures regarding forgiveness.

James 5:15 - and the prayer of faith will save the sick man, and the Lord will raise him up; and if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.

1 John 1:9 - If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

So you see ladies, no matter what it is that you've done, God will forgive. He's awesome. Do you know anyone who will do that for you? I've made sooo many mistakes in the past, and I even thought that I have not been forgiven by God. But later to find out, God forgave me, not the the guy (whom I was in love with).

Psalms 41:9 - Even my bosom friend in whom I trusted, who ate of my bread, has lifted his heel against me.

I just woke up one Sunday morning, and said "I'm fed up of living my life this way." I was in the same spot going no where. It was time for a change and living my life the way I wanted to had no happiness and I was still empty.

Psalms 52:8 - But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God. I trust in the steadfast love of God for ever and ever.

So even when I was out there doing what I wanted to do, He loved me unconditionally. So the least I can do is return the favor.

 

[naptrl]

Hey ladies!! I will pray for you alll! This is the most wonderful challenge I have ever seen on this site. It is very honorable and God will bless you. I'm married, so I won't be joining, but I'm with you in spirit!!!

 

[sugaplum]

Hey ladies!! I will pray for you alll! This is the most wonderful challenge I have ever seen on this site. It is very honorable and God will bless you. I'm married, so I won't be joining, but I'm with you in spirit!!!

Awww thank you naptrl for your support, your prayers & your blessings.
God Bless you,

 

[Koffie]

Here is a message that may help... taken from Pray4Freedom's blackplanet page:

?Why is sex (before marriage) so bad when it feels so good?


Well there are obvious reasons such as:
1. Diseases, there are some you can get rid of and some that you can`t such as HIV which later turns into AIDS...you get this one, you know your gonna die. (In the U.S., 1 in 4 sexually active teens become infected with an STD every year {that`s a lot}. Some common STDs are chlamydia, gonorrhea, genital warts (also known as HPV - human papillomavirus), and herpes)
2. Teen pregnancy or adult UNPLANNED pregnancy.
3. Guilt
4. Loss of respect

But the number one reason to consider NOT doing it is because God says not to.

1Corinthians 6:18-20 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know your body is a temple of the holy spirit, who is in you, whom you received from God? You are not your own; you were brought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.(NIV)


Easier said than done huh?

Well, anything is possible when you have God on your side! Even stopping yourself from having sex again until marriage.


****For YOUNG Girls****

YOU DON`T HAVE TO DO IT! You don`t have to have sex with a boy to make him like you. You don`t have to have sex because he pressures you. You have so much power do you realize that? We as women have power!!

If he decides to leave when you tell him no, let him go. More than likely a little boy doesn`t care that much about you anyway. He cares about himself. He will say he loves you, wants to marry you, he will die for you blah blah BLAH! All lies.

Remember GOD loves you and wants you to be happy! I`ll be frank with you, a lot of young boys are out to see how much sex they can get. They will use you and throw you away like Monday`s garbage.
WATCH OUT!


****For OLDER Women****

Sad to say but some grown men do the same. My momma always told me that a man will only do as much to you as you let him. I know that to be true. But I had to learn the hard way.
****Lastly Please Don`t Strive To Be A Video Girl! ****
Your Better Than That!





STOP!

Stop being simple minded
Stop being desperate
Stop being pitiful
Stop being naive
Stop letting him do you like that!!




START!

Start living for God
Start making better decisions
Start being happy
Start loving yourself
Start over TODAY!!



(Sex is supposed to be enjoyable but between a husband and wife, I don`t want to disappoint God again in that way)




1. Tell yourself daily that you are beautiful
2. Tell yourself daily you are smart
3. When negative thoughts come around it`s okay to tell them to go away
4. Talk back to the devil when he tries to take your joy

ABOVE ALL, TALK TO GOD!! Talk to him like he`s sitting beside you. God is your friend, remember that. And he hears you even when you don`t think he does.

Now why wasn't someone banging this in my head during high school?

 

[mzcaramelicious07]

This is a great thread! I'm in (still a big V...lol) and also praying for everyone else.

Be blessed!

 

[sugaplum]

Now why wasn't someone banging this in my head during high school?

My only problem was I got all this bashed into my head but I never listened being the rebellious teenager.

 

[sugaplum]

This is a great thread! I'm in (still a big V...lol) and also praying for everyone else.

Be blessed!

Thank you mzcarmelicious, and God Bless you for joining our challenge.

 

[naptrl]

Awww thank you naptrl for your support, your prayers & your blessings.
God Bless you,

You're welcome, suga!! May God bless your efforts!

 

[Supergirl]

This is great, count me in! I've been celibate for over 1 year now, though I still struggle in my mind a lot, but I'm wholeheartedly trying to honour God with my body and mind! I haven't dated yet since becoming a Christian, but I hope to follow those guidelines when I do!

That's awesome girl! I think this is the best challenge this board has ever had--woo hoo! I've been celibate for 8 1/2 years and it was one of the most awesome thing I could've done for myself!

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

So, is this gonna be the type of challenge where we check in on how each other's doing? If so, that would be great support

 

[MissJ]

The easiest challenge ever. I'm definitely in!

 

[sithembile]

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

That is exactly what I was thinking! Thank God for forgiveness and new beginnings!

 

[sithembile]

That's awesome girl! I think this is the best challenge this board has ever had--woo hoo! I've been celibate for 8 1/2 years and it was one of the most awesome thing I could've done for myself!

Thank you SG, you were one of the people who encouraged and inspired me when I started my walk with God just over a year ago!

 

[UmSumayyah]

Add me as another voice of support.

 

[sithembile]

The easiest challenge ever. I'm definitely in!

MissJ, I haven't seen you in a long time! Btw, I wish it would be as easy for me!

 

[Tami]

I'm starting this journey with you guys also, I need all the words of encouragement I can get. Thanks ladies....

 

[sugaplum]

Thanks for joining in Bublnbrnsuga,Supergirl,MissJ,UmSumayyah, Tami and God Bless you ladies.

Bubln, anyone can check in. We are here to support each other.

 

[BLESSED1]

I'm in...... I just wish I was a virgin.... *****sighs and exits thread******

O-kay!! I'm sighing and exiting right behind you girl! This was one of the major reasons why I broke up w/ my ex fiance, I wanted to get closer to God and began celibacy to start (he wasn't down for that). I would like to be in but it's gonna be a struggle. Anyone wanna be my "chastity buddy" Seriously though I appreciate any prayers and moral support, and I will also be praying for the sisters/brothers here participating in this challenge.

 

[NYCQT16]

This was one of the major reasons why I broke up w/ my ex fiance, I wanted to get closer to God and began celibacy to start (he wasn't down for that)

see..that's me! I want to get closer to God but I really feel like I cannot due to me having sex. I keep thinking to just go as I am and through faith and patience and dedication, those sexual desires will pass away but I feel so guilty to read the Bible or pray, knowing next time I see my SO I will be doing the do. I also hope I'm not bringing wrongness in the thread by saying this, but for me it's hard b/c it is something I enjoy and feels good and I guess I feel like ok I already did the do, what will it matter when I get married anyway.

I would like to know if there are any ladies who were already in a relationship that involved sex and then in that same relationship turned celibate successfully? Did the relationship end, or were you able to be celibate in the relationship without the relationhip turning sour?

 

[JuJuBoo]

see..that's me! I want to get closer to God but I really feel like I cannot due to me having sex. I keep thinking to just go as I am and through faith and patience and dedication, those sexual desires will pass away but I feel so guilty to read the Bible or pray, knowing next time I see my SO I will be doing the do. I also hope I'm not bringing wrongness in the thread by saying this, but for me it's hard b/c it is something I enjoy and feels good and I guess I feel like ok I already did the do, what will it matter when I get married anyway.

I would like to know if there are any ladies who were already in a relationship that involved sex and then in that same relationship turned celibate successfully? Did the relationship end, or were you able to be celibate in the relationship without the relationhip turning sour?

Sex is a beautiful thing (I'm told ), so don't feel wrong for saying you enjoy it. I'd be worried if you weren't, and still having sex with your SO.

Having that said, the question is what's more important to you? Your relationship with your SO? Or your relationship with God?

The last thing you need to worry about is how no sex is going to impact your relationship, cause the truth is--if this dude dumps you because you want to pursue a closer relationship with God, than he's not worth your time.

I hope I'm not too blunt. I'm blunt because i've seen friend after friend and friend choose the rather (the boyfriend) and regret it.