Abstinence Challenge 365, 24-7
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fivefoursweetie
New Member
It was definately a process for me, but the biggest thing that helped, was to focus on what I should do while I am single:
"An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs--how he can please the Lord ... An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit."
1 Cor 7:32,34
So of course I wanted to know what pleased the Lord, and found that God says:
"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."
Matthew 6:33
So as I shifted my attention from my selfish desires, I started focusing on the kingdom and my purpose that God had me on this earth, and also my purpose in my season of singleness. As I started seeking that, my relationship with God deepened and I less and less was thinking about what I wanted and desired, yet I was transformed into thinking about what God wanted of me. To God be the glory, I have been celibate for 2 years and 7 months!! And in the beginning I thought I would never say this, but I feel more fulfilled and at peace in my life now, than when I was having sex and doing things my way.
I hope this helps.
long2short2_?
Member
your testimony is truely an inspiration to me. i have just taken a vow of celibacy about 2 weeks ago and its soo hard for me to stay focused. but i know this is something i have to do for it is the one thing keeping me from my inheritance. Sex was my precious sin that i could not let go of, but the power of prayer can do anything. I realized how sad i was without a connection to my father and all the sex in the world wasnt going to make me feel better. God is so good and it'll be only through his amazing power and grace that i will remain celibate past my college years until i am married to the man he brings me
That's really inspiring. I have been celebate for over a year now. I joined this challenge a while back, but I haven't been back to this thread since I joined the challenge almost 3 months ago. In the last two days, I keep coming across 1 Cor 7:32,34, and hearing about devoting my entire self to God, and waiting on him etc. I believe God wants to teach me what it means to wait for his will now and give me the grace to do it properly.
I've always felt really inadequate because I was unfaithful and not a virgin anymore and always think I'm going to get punished for it so I'm just waiting for that to happen. God delivered me from those thoughts yesterday, when I was praying and asking for forgiveness (yet again). God lead me to Isaiah 57. Particularly verses 15 - 18
From the Good news version
I live in a high and holy place,
but also with him who is contrite (repentant) and lowly (humble) in spirit
to revive the spirit of the lowly (humble) and to revive
the heart of the contrite (repentant)
I will not accuse you for ever
nor will I always be angry
for then the spirit of man would grow faint before me ......
(we'll feel, it's impossible, so why bother)
and then in verse 18
I have seen his/(her) ways, but I will heal him/(her);
I will guide him/(her) and restore comfort to him/(her).
Right after my prayer session, i went HT and found a group for ladies waiting for God's will, today, I got a notification when the latest update in the thread (above). So I have no doubt, It's time for another journey. I'm grateful to God that he's decided to take me through it and I'm somewhat excited because it means the prize will be sooo worth it.
Please pray, for me, that God will give me strength and uphold me, and help me to really seek him and fulfill His purpose for me while I'm still single.
So if anyone else is feeling inadequate and beat up about past mistakes, find comfort in God's word and don't let the devil fool you with that "once a theif, always a theif" nonsense!
God bless.
chicacanella
New Member
Pray for me to stay abstinent and have a focused mind in and out of a relationship. Pray that I guard what goes in and out of my ears and eyes because certain music and things you watch can make you weaker I believe.
Thanks
Thanks
Ramya
New Member
I'll pray for you, if you'll do the same for me. I've been trying to guard my ears but at work I don't control the station so a lot of unholy stuff has been getting into my spirit and well... celibacy has been a lot harder lately. I'm almost 2 years in and want to remain that way until marriage. So praying ladies, I need yall to help me out.
BeautifulFlower
Well-Known Member
6 weeks strong and going.....
missjanelleb
Well-Known Member
Hi everyone, I'm new, but have been abstinent for 3 years and 2 1/2 months. I'm in.
chicacanella
New Member
I will. The problem with me is that when I workout, I need energetic fast-paced music so I listen to alot of R'B songs but I try to cut off the lyrics if they are saying something wrong. I don't know if that really helps but now I have been trying to use youtube as a way to navigate my secular music selections but I have slipped up a couple of times and listened to some "bad" songs.
Also, pray that I get over this man I developed an attachment too. I don't know what it is about him but he seriously had me doubting I could go through with this celibacy journey. I can't help it but I still do have deep feelings for him but I think with prayer they are going away. I kind of still want to be with him though, although I'm not sure we are equally yoked.
this is definitely something God will have to help me with.
N
nappysunflowers
Guest
This may be a challenge for me...
It will be hard because I tried to be celibate before, and it didn't go well. I was in a four year relationship and I thought I was supposed to have to keep him happy. Keep him from cheating. Keep him from porn. Strip clubs I could deal with because he had the attention span of a ferret on crystal meth. Stand by your man, right? I cooked, cleaned, read his horrible case presentations for work...
No one wants to be lonely.
You know what? I tried it my way for years, and I am itching closer to spinsterhood.
Anyone have some spare cats???
I didn't realize that I was just looking for the wrong thing. I didn't let God steer things. I thought I could do it myself. I was wrong...
I don't know if marriage is in the cards for me. It may be, and it may not.I know peace of mind is and that is enough for me. It would allow me to focus on other things, and allow for other things (more positive things) to enter my life.
I don't want much. Someone who will treat me right. Who will appreciate me for me. Someone I can be soft, pink, and feminine with. Someone who appreciate museums, concerts not sponsored by a radio station, dinners with no meat or cartoon mascots or being pitched by Guy Fieri. You don't have to be a tree hugging vegetarian, but don't jump on me because I am. (I can't stand TGI Friday's: too much sugar coated meat). Someone who doesn't see home cooking as microwaving beef taquitos. Someone who has good credit (it's a Bush ecomony), someone who will read a book not just a magazine. Someone who will pray. Someone who if he needs to will cry. Soemone who will go to and stay in the gym. Someone who doesn't think a hike in the mountains is gay or for white people. Someone who watches more than ESPN. Someone who doesn't watch 6 hours of TV a day. Someone who will be a God fearing man and won't put his hands on me in an offensive manner.
I haven't found that person yet. Sorry about the rant. It just popped into my head.
I'm in. It's time to get in the passenger seat.
Blessings.
Nic
It will be hard because I tried to be celibate before, and it didn't go well. I was in a four year relationship and I thought I was supposed to have to keep him happy. Keep him from cheating. Keep him from porn. Strip clubs I could deal with because he had the attention span of a ferret on crystal meth. Stand by your man, right? I cooked, cleaned, read his horrible case presentations for work...
No one wants to be lonely. You know what? I tried it my way for years, and I am itching closer to spinsterhood.
Anyone have some spare cats???I didn't realize that I was just looking for the wrong thing. I didn't let God steer things. I thought I could do it myself. I was wrong...
I don't know if marriage is in the cards for me. It may be, and it may not.I know peace of mind is and that is enough for me. It would allow me to focus on other things, and allow for other things (more positive things) to enter my life.
I don't want much. Someone who will treat me right. Who will appreciate me for me. Someone I can be soft, pink, and feminine with. Someone who appreciate museums, concerts not sponsored by a radio station, dinners with no meat or cartoon mascots or being pitched by Guy Fieri. You don't have to be a tree hugging vegetarian, but don't jump on me because I am. (I can't stand TGI Friday's: too much sugar coated meat). Someone who doesn't see home cooking as microwaving beef taquitos. Someone who has good credit (it's a Bush ecomony), someone who will read a book not just a magazine. Someone who will pray. Someone who if he needs to will cry. Soemone who will go to and stay in the gym. Someone who doesn't think a hike in the mountains is gay or for white people. Someone who watches more than ESPN. Someone who doesn't watch 6 hours of TV a day. Someone who will be a God fearing man and won't put his hands on me in an offensive manner.
I haven't found that person yet. Sorry about the rant. It just popped into my head.
I'm in.
It's time to get in the passenger seat. Blessings.
Nic
Duchesse
Well-Known Member
This may be a challenge for me...
It will be hard because I tried to be celibate before, and it didn't go well. I was in a four year relationship and I thought I was supposed to have to keep him happy. Keep him from cheating. Keep him from porn. Strip clubs I could deal with because he had the attention span of a ferret on crystal meth. Stand by your man, right? I cooked, cleaned, read his horrible case presentations for work...
You know what? I tried it my way for years, and I am itching closer to spinsterhood.
I didn't realize that I was just looking for the wrong thing. I didn't let God steer things. I thought I could do it myself. I was wrong...
I don't know if marriage is in the cards for me. It may be, and it may not.I know peace of mind is and that is enough for me. It would allow me to focus on other things, and allow for other things (more positive things) to enter my life.
I don't want much. Someone who will treat me right. Who will appreciate me for me. Someone I can be soft, pink, and feminine with. Someone who appreciate museums, concerts not sponsored by a radio station, dinners with no meat or cartoon mascots or being pitched by Guy Fieri. You don't have to be a tree hugging vegetarian, but don't jump on me because I am. (I can't stand TGI Friday's: too much sugar coated meat). Someone who doesn't see home cooking as microwaving beef taquitos. Someone who has good credit (it's a Bush ecomony), someone who will read a book not just a magazine. Someone who will pray. Someone who if he needs to will cry. Soemone who will go to and stay in the gym. Someone who doesn't think a hike in the mountains is gay or for white people. Someone who watches more than ESPN. Someone who doesn't watch 6 hours of TV a day. Someone who will be a God fearing man and won't put his hands on me in an offensive manner.
I haven't found that person yet. Sorry about the rant. It just popped into my head.
I'm in.
Blessings.
Nic
I hope that when you find him, he has a brother that you can hook me up with.
I will try my darndest to be in this challenge. I've been waffling way too long when it comes to abstinence, only to have my spirit distressed after having sex with someone who has never pledged any commitment to me. It really is hard when all you want is companionship and the flesh is weak and makes it easy to substitute sex with love and caring, a quick fix for loneliness, when your spirit knows that this isn't what God intended for you.
Jenaee
Well-Known Member
It's like you were reading my thoughts. I feel the same exact way. It's a real struggle for me. That lack of companionship feeling is what is my downfall at times.
CosmopolitanChic
New Member
I'm a virgin as well but I've engaged in sexual thoughts,nakedness, and touching before. At the start of this year, my long-term boyfriend and I stopped all that MESS! We thank the Lord each day for delivering us.We hardly even kiss anymore!
That is wonderful, I am so glad that you have made that commitment. That is great and I really commend you and your fiance for that. Sex w/o love and marriage is not at all what it is cooked up to be. I have been celibate for 8 years, but sometimes my mind wanders, but it is my commitment to Christ and my love for myself that sustains me. I was just sick and tired of the mess , empty promises and no fulfillment, no respect.
And why should they, if you do not repect your own self and body...
CosmopolitanChic
New Member
This may be a challenge for me...
It will be hard because I tried to be celibate before, and it didn't go well. I was in a four year relationship and I thought I was supposed to have to keep him happy. Keep him from cheating. Keep him from porn. Strip clubs I could deal with because he had the attention span of a ferret on crystal meth. Stand by your man, right? I cooked, cleaned, read his horrible case presentations for work...
You know what? I tried it my way for years, and I am itching closer to spinsterhood.
I didn't realize that I was just looking for the wrong thing. I didn't let God steer things. I thought I could do it myself. I was wrong...
I don't know if marriage is in the cards for me. It may be, and it may not.I know peace of mind is and that is enough for me. It would allow me to focus on other things, and allow for other things (more positive things) to enter my life.
I don't want much. Someone who will treat me right. Who will appreciate me for me. Someone I can be soft, pink, and feminine with. Someone who appreciate museums, concerts not sponsored by a radio station, dinners with no meat or cartoon mascots or being pitched by Guy Fieri. You don't have to be a tree hugging vegetarian, but don't jump on me because I am. (I can't stand TGI Friday's: too much sugar coated meat). Someone who doesn't see home cooking as microwaving beef taquitos. Someone who has good credit (it's a Bush ecomony), someone who will read a book not just a magazine. Someone who will pray. Someone who if he needs to will cry. Soemone who will go to and stay in the gym. Someone who doesn't think a hike in the mountains is gay or for white people. Someone who watches more than ESPN. Someone who doesn't watch 6 hours of TV a day. Someone who will be a God fearing man and won't put his hands on me in an offensive manner.
I haven't found that person yet. Sorry about the rant. It just popped into my head.
I'm in.
Blessings.
Nic
God Bless you !!!It is ok to rant, because we are here to listen!!!Lets all support one another, I believe it is God's will for us to marry. YOU are a beautiful person with a beautiful spirit, let God connect you. Appreciate yourself first, love yourself, uplift yourself, can no one love you like yourself and GOD, but guess what? He has that special man for you, that will love you more that you love yourself, he will have to , because you become as one, however there is a catch....IF you let GOD send him. I'm not speaking of a supernatural thing where he will drop down from heaven in your lap, but a simple supernatural thing , where you will be in the position to receive that special man that GOD has for you and you alone. I do not know when it will happen, but it will when you put your faith to work and you get into the word of GOD, so that you will know who he is..believe me it will happen....please be encouraged
DivineNapps1728
Well-Known Member
Thank God for this post! I'm sooooo in!
LiberianGirl
Well-Known Member
I will pray that you have the strength to cut out things in your life that is interfering with your abstinence. I had to stop listening to secular music and certain movies. This REALLY has helped me.
curlcomplexity
formerly qtslim83
Hello! Can I please join? I've been abstinent for about a year now, but I would love to have the support of you wonderful ladies.
Great thread BTW
Great thread BTW
HeChangedMyName
Well-Known Member
I know this challenge is upteen years old, but I think I need this. that ugly black devil is rearing his head and trying to steal my abstinence away. Trying to lure me in by way of smooth talk and stuff and stuff. I want to save myself for marriage. I already have children out of wedlock and thus, I have tasted the forbidden fruit of premarital sex so for me, it is especially difficult. I will do my best and follow the challenge until marriage.
honeyflaava
Well-Known Member
I don't know if this has been mentioned or not, but everyone should check out Worth the Wait This is a sexual purity ministry begun by an awesome young minister of God from my church named Dr. Lindsay Marsh. Read up on her bio and get her book "The Best Sex of My Life: A Guide to Purity" it will definitely bless you!!
Ms.Nigeria
New Member
I'm in....
simplynea
New Member
I want to say that it is hard to really remain steadfast in one's personal journey to abstain from sex, especially after being sexually active. It takes true courage to step outside of today's society, which focuses on sex so much, and embrace abstinence. My own life experiences have taught me that NO SEX leads to NO DRAMA. Although, there may be a little issue here or there, it ceases quickly. I dated a guy in July '08 who was obviously expecting a big return for taking me out on a few dates. When he realized I had no plans on getting in bed with him, he was gone. I was fine with that, no one is worth me losing what I have gained by being celibate. I will be 7 months celibate as of 09-15-08. It was funny to run into the same guy during Labor Day weekend, looking for his next lady of the night outside of a local nightclub. He wasn't ready for me, and I can accept that!
"It's one thing to be selfish and an entirely different thing to love yourself enough to demand respect." ~Unwritten~
"It's one thing to be selfish and an entirely different thing to love yourself enough to demand respect." ~Unwritten~
Lanea87
Natural Gang Gang Gang
I want in. I am so up for this. I havent had "any" since 7/08, I know that it hasnt been long but I have made up my mind. I am in this for the long haul. Its easier when you are focused on certain things and you have ppl that understand the same (you ladies). So I am ready.
Ramya
New Member
How's everybody doing?
School just started and temptation is everywhere. I've been good so far. It helps that I don't entertain in my bedroom nor do I "go home" with males. The best thing Ive ever done for my celibacy is to keep things public. I doubt I'll be interested in having sex in the middle of the bowling alley
School just started and temptation is everywhere. I've been good so far. It helps that I don't entertain in my bedroom nor do I "go home" with males. The best thing Ive ever done for my celibacy is to keep things public. I doubt I'll be interested in having sex in the middle of the bowling alley
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