...

It’s probably ED. Men are getting it younger and younger because of how easy porn is to access. I’ve heard of boys in high school having issues. Or who knows? It could be something else. That said, I couldn’t do it. This is something he needs to address. It’s not your cross to bear. And please please do not think it has anything to do with you. And do not feel guilty if you break up with him over it. You deserve a fulfilling sex life. Just like he is young, I assume so are you, and no way I’d sacrifice something so important for someone I’ve only known a few months.

And I would not be having a big conversation with him about anything. Let him bring it up or not. He knows he isn’t able to perform or please you so HE has a problem that HE needs to address.
 
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Karmi said:
It could also be his excitement and or anxiety about performing well for you. I've experienced that with a guy that chased me for years and when I finally gave in to "color" for one night he couldn't mentally relax and get it standing :look:
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This has happened to me and I'm still salty over it. Once I saw it at full attention I was ready for the show but he just couldn't stay ready.

I agree with hopeful. This is his problem, I wouldn't talk to him about it. It's only been a few months so it's too early to be exclusive anyway, maybe date a few other men while he's figuring out the solution. Let him take the lead and when it's fixed, he'll let you know.
 
Kimbosheart said:
This has happened to me and I'm still salty over it. Once I saw it at full attention I was ready for the show but he just couldn't stay ready.

I agree with hopeful. This is his problem, I wouldn't talk to him about it. It's only been a few months so it's too early to be exclusive anyway, maybe date a few other men while he's figuring out the solution. Let him take the lead and when it's fixed, he'll let you know.
Click to expand...
This is the WORST!
 
Kimbosheart said:
This has happened to me and I'm still salty over it. Once I saw it at full attention I was ready for the show but he just couldn't stay ready.

I agree with hopeful. This is his problem, I wouldn't talk to him about it. It's only been a few months so it's too early to be exclusive anyway, maybe date a few other men while he's figuring out the solution. Let him take the lead and when it's fixed, he'll let you know.
Click to expand...

This was it exactly...so disappointing. Yep, I am not going to say anything for now.
 
I had a friend go through this. She really liked him, but said sex was quick, dull and frustrating. She would lie there wide awake while he was knocked out asleep..lol. She is an extremely sexual person, which made it worse.

She ended up having a convo with him, saying that while she really enjoyed their intimate time, she often times felt incomplete and introduced her toys into their situation as a way they could pleasure each other (she stressed that part, to soften the blow).. I'm not sure how he truly felt about that, but they are still together 2 years later.
 
There could definitely be a few factors at play here.

Physical: Is he overweight? How's his diet? Does he exercise regularly? (all of these can have a HUGE impact on performance)
He should definitely see a doctor to see if there's something going on in that department.

Mental: Like others have said, it could be performance anxiety or excitement. "Coloring" is much more in the head than the loins for men.

Religious: I'm bringing this up because you mentioned celibacy for mental reasons. Could it be that he's feeling guilty about the act in itself -- either feeling like he shouldn't be engaging or that he may be influencing your religious beliefs?

... and it could be porn. I dated a much younger man that watched a lot of porn and the only way he would get aroused was if he was watching porn or fulfilling the fantasy (Sorry, I ain't going all of that screaming if you ain't making me scream...). If that's the case, maybe you could watch porn together or have a discussion about what gets each other going...

At any rate, the best thing to do is have open, honest communication about it. If you're grown enough to be laying down, you're grown enough to talk about sex in a mature manner. If you're really feeling him maybe you could work it out.

...but bad sex is a deal breaker for me.
 
This would be a deal breaker. You will grow to resent him not being proactive. And he will think you are ok with it since you don’t want to hurt his feelings and complain.

Men eventually get ed problems but what gets most women through is the memories of the connections they had in the past. That bonding is important.

I would dare say built in the younger part of the relationship to sustain the older part.

Anyway just my opinion. Long suffering I am not.
 
Southernbella. said:
Might be porn. My ex was an addict (imo at least) and it happened to him sometimes.

Also, I lurk a male forum and they have a nofap2018 challenge because so many of them aren't able to have good sex with women due to all the porn and masturbation.
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Wow. I never thought about that. Yep. I’d pass
 
TinyBlu said:
There could definitely be a few factors at play here.

Physical: Is he overweight? How's his diet? Does he exercise regularly? (all of these can have a HUGE impact on performance)
Nope, in much better shape than me. He has a lil tummy that he's working on for 2018...it'll be abs in a short time if he wants/is serious.

He should definitely see a doctor to see if there's something going on in that department.

Mental: Like others have said, it could be performance anxiety or excitement. "Coloring" is much more in the head than the loins for men.
Could be

Religious: I'm bringing this up because you mentioned celibacy for mental reasons. Could it be that he's feeling guilty about the act in itself -- either feeling like he shouldn't be engaging or that he may be influencing your religious beliefs? Doesn't seem to be but never know.

... and it could be porn. I dated a much younger man that watched a lot of porn and the only way he would get aroused was if he was watching porn or fulfilling the fantasy (Sorry, I ain't going all of that screaming if you ain't making me scream...). If that's the case, maybe you could watch porn together or have a discussion about what gets each other going...
Could be. I gotta ask.

At any rate, the best thing to do is have open, honest communication about it. If you're grown enough to be laying down, you're grown enough to talk about sex in a mature manner. This is true.
Click to expand...
 
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I have a friend like this. He's a 31 year old virgin. The last woman he had action with cut it off for this reason. Anxiety can cause this kinda fail cycle.

I have been though it before (medication related then I think he got paranoid about it which meant it happened some more times). Eventually I brought it up gently because I wanted it out in the open and to make sure it wasnt me/the relationship lol. After that I told him it was ok and I didn't blame him for it and no worries.

Things started happening again after that. Maybe it happened once more but I can't be sure. I think I relieved my part of the pressure because if its anxiety related and hes thinking of the last time he couldn't do it then he's going to be stressing about what you're thinking. Of course this was easier in a longer relationship. At the start of a relationship I can see that its a deal breaker.
 
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