5 Reasons Why Married Women Should Hang With Single Friends

[nathansgirl1908]

http://clutchmagonline.com/newsgoss...arried-women-should-hang-with-single-friends/

1. While it may be appropriate to create a balance between spending time with single and married friends, distancing yourselves from your single friends can be dangerous. These are the friends that were there for you before you had a ring. Leaving them hanging altogether can send the wrong message.

2. As long as your single friends create other social outlets besides the club and late night partying, they can be refreshing departures from the monotony of your married friends. They can be a lot fun with less weight on their shoulders.

3. Single friends generally have more free time on their hands. These are the friends who are actually available for that sporadic lunch you need to have to get some things off your chest. Single friends can baby-sit when you and the hubby want to take a weekender in the islands together.

4. Hanging with your single friends can be an excellent example to them. Women who want to be doctors hang with doctors, women who want to be Christians hang with Christians, and women who want to be married someday should hang with a few married women. Why not?

5. It’s true your single friends have no idea what it’s like to be married and to stay married. Major responsibilities like paying a mortgage, saving for your kids’ college education, and joint bank accounts are concepts that can likely fly above your single friends’ heads. But what about your other identities? Married women are more than just married women. They are professional women, spiritual women, and women who are daughters and sisters. It’s almost selfish and overly possessive of a man to expect his wife to give up her whole self. Single friends can remind a married woman, that’s she a woman first!

 

[runwaydream]

i agree.........

 

[nathansgirl1908]

. Single friends generally have more free time on their hands. These are the friends who are actually available for that sporadic lunch you need to have to get some things off your chest. Single friends can baby-sit when you and the hubby want to take a weekender in the islands together.

I resent this. I'm single, but I have a pretty jam packed life. I don't like the implication that we generally have more free time. Where do they get that. And I'm DEFINITELY not going to baby-sit. Find another married friend who isn't busy. Don't just look my way because I'm single.

Hanging with your single friends can be an excellent example to them. Women who want to be doctors hang with doctors, women who want to be Christians hang with Christians, and women who want to be married someday should hang with a few married women. Why not?

Again, I resent this. I don't need married women to "be an example." An example of what exactly? How to get a man?

In reading some of the comments below the article, there was a comment about how sometimes married friends are more negative with respect to relationships than single people. That has been my general experience as well. I know very few people who have good solid marriages and they tend to be bitter and negative to the point that sometimes I don't want to be around them.

 

[nathansgirl1908]

i agree.........

I agree in general with the notion that you don't need to just drop your single friends.

 

[Mai Tai]

I resent this. I'm single, but I have a pretty jam packed life. I don't like the implication that we generally have more free time. Where do they get that. And I'm DEFINITELY not going to baby-sit. Find another married friend who isn't busy. Don't just look my way because I'm single.




Again, I resent this. I don't need married women to "be an example." An example of what exactly? How to get a man?

In reading some of the comments below the article, there was a comment about how sometimes married friends are more negative with respect to relationships than single people. That has been my general experience as well. I know very few people who have good solid marriages and they tend to be bitter and negative to the point that sometimes I don't want to be around them.

I agree with both of these.

Just because I'm not married, does not mean I'm not extra busy in other areas of my life. It's not like I'm just sitting around while my life passes me by, waiting on a man to marry me. I'll babysit only because I want to, and make time to, not because I have nothing better to do.

I also think that if single women are going to "look up to" a married friend, then please choose a friend that is happy in her marriage, and has a positive outlook on life in general. Some married people, will have you thinking that the institution of marriage was created by the devil himself. Those are the married folks that ALL singles need to stay away from.

 

[ThickHair]

I resent this. I'm single, but I have a pretty jam packed life. I don't like the implication that we generally have more free time. Where do they get that. And I'm DEFINITELY not going to baby-sit. Find another married friend who isn't busy. Don't just look my way because I'm single.




Again, I resent this. I don't need married women to "be an example." An example of what exactly? How to get a man?

In reading some of the comments below the article, there was a comment about how sometimes married friends are more negative with respect to relationships than single people. That has been my general experience as well. I know very few people who have good solid marriages and they tend to be bitter and negative to the point that sometimes I don't want to be around them.

I agree with you, the article was a bit extra.

 

[qchelle]

Be an example? How are you modeling marriage when we're out for drinks?

This article does not address the possibility that the single friends may not want to hang out with the married friend....

 

[qchelle]

Okay, so I didn't actually read the article....I had just skimmed it. I went back and read it though

http://clutchmagonline.com/newsgoss...arried-women-should-hang-with-single-friends/

1. While it may be appropriate to create a balance between spending time with single and married friends, distancing yourselves from your single friends can be dangerous. These are the friends that were there for you before you had a ring. Leaving them hanging altogether can send the wrong message.

2. As long as your single friends create other social outlets besides the club and late night partying, they can be refreshing departures from the monotony of your married friends. They can be a lot fun with less weight on their shoulders.ohhh ok. So the single friends should accomadate the married friend and plan appropriate activities. Yeahh...that's kind of like going to bingo with grandma when you really wanna go ice-skating. Grandma can't do that though. But you have to spend time with her...so you go do bingo.

3. Single friends generally have more free time on their hands. These are the friends who are actually available for that sporadic lunch you need to have to get some things off your chest. Single friends can baby-sit when you and the hubby want to take a weekender in the islands together.
<<--Whoop, there it is.

4. Hanging with your single friends can be an excellent example to them. Women who want to be doctors hang with doctors, women who want to be Christians hang with Christians, and women who want to be married someday should hang with a few married women. Why not? I've already addressed this

5. It’s true your single friends have no idea what be it’s like to be married and to stay married. Major responsibilities like paying a mortgage, saving for your kids’ college education, and joint bank accounts are concepts that can likely fly above your single friends’ heads. But what about your other identities? Married women are more than just married women. They are professional women, spiritual women, and women who are daughters and sisters. It’s almost selfish and overly possessive of a man to expect his wife to give up her whole self. Single friends can remind a married woman, that’s she a woman first!

And I hope those aren't the things the married women are discussing when hanging out with single friends. You won't be invited to our next outing

 

[diadall]

I hate articles like this. There is not data to back up any of these reasons. They are not reasons, they are opinions.

Perception is reality and I am perceiving that Lala goes out regularly with her single friends.

She said herself that Tyrese was a close friend. He may know what we don't know and was giving her good advice. He didn't say stop going out or don't hang out. He was giving her advice for the situation he is (we are not) familiar with.

 

[nathansgirl1908]

Tyrese really isn't the issue here. The reasons they stated for hanging out with single friends are the real issue. Tyrese is just an afterthought so what he knows isn't even relevant to the article really.

 

[MD_Lady]

I understand the "spirit" of the article, but I DEFINITELY agree with you here:

Single friends generally have more free time on their hands. These are the friends who are actually available for that sporadic lunch you need to have to get some things off your chest. Single friends can baby-sit when you and the hubby want to take a weekender in the islands together.

I resent this. I'm single, but I have a pretty jam packed life. I don't like the implication that we generally have more free time. Where do they get that. And I'm DEFINITELY not going to baby-sit. Find another married friend who isn't busy. Don't just look my way because I'm single.

Hanging with your single friends can be an excellent example to them. Women who want to be doctors hang with doctors, women who want to be Christians hang with Christians, and women who want to be married someday should hang with a few married women. Why not?

Again, I resent this. I don't need married women to "be an example." An example of what exactly? How to get a man?

In reading some of the comments below the article, there was a comment about how sometimes married friends are more negative with respect to relationships than single people. That has been my general experience as well. I know very few people who have good solid marriages and they tend to be bitter and negative to the point that sometimes I don't want to be around them.

The first quote also rubs me the wrong way because it sounds like the person is at your disposal. I HATE when people act like someone can't possibly have anything worthwhile going on in their lives because they don't have a spouse (and/or children). My time is my own, and even if I have some free, you shouldn't expect me to spend it on/with you.

This also made me erplexed

It’s true your single friends have no idea what it’s like to be married and to stay married. Major responsibilities like paying a mortgage, saving for your kids’ college education, and joint bank accounts are concepts that can likely fly above your single friends’ heads.

I had a friend who would always tell me that "I'd understand when I had a man" and it made me want to :hardslap: him. Of course some people can be inconsiderate when they have no understanding of someone else's situation, but some folks act like single people are completely incapable of experiencing empathy. I would think that the fact that someone is a friend would automatically make them more understanding. The person who refuses to respect someone else's situation (marital status aside) isn't a true friend.

 

[MD_Lady]

Okay, so I didn't actually read the article....I had just skimmed it. I went back and read it though

And I hope those aren't the things the married women are discussing when hanging out with single friends. You won't be invited to our next outing

Okay! And while the article says that married women have more going on than their marital status, this gives the impression that the main things we have to talk about are topics related to marriage. :scratchch Even when I hang out with other married women, I don't about that stuff. Friends vent to friends, but NO ONE wants to be part of a conversation that mainly consists of how much someone else's life sux.

 

[diadall]

Tyrese really isn't the issue here. The reasons they stated for hanging out with single friends are the real issue. Tyrese is just an afterthought so what he knows isn't even relevant to the article really.

I know Tyrese isn't the issue and I wasn't trying to make him the issue (there is a thread on that) but I was referring to him only because the article probably would not have been written if it weren't for that particular incident on the show.

I was stating my opinion on the Tyrese/Lala conversation but I wasn't making Tyrese the issue.

The real issue I had was that the article said these were reasons instead of opinions.

 

[nathansgirl1908]

The real issue I had was that the article said these were reasons instead of opinions.

I think anyone would likely expect these to be opinions. This really isn't something that you can use hard data to prove.