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On being natural

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SouthernStunner said:
Ok so I guess I am still unclear. Should I say that the time, energy and preference is not what I choose. I have learned in the past year that being a mom of twins, working full time, going to school full time and being a wife takes up a lot of my time and energy. I just prefer to wear my hair straight thats all. I didnt mean to offend anyone but this conversation alone proves what I orginally said. I feel like in this thread I am trying to be convinced otherwise.
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I figured it was just semantics. Girl ain't nobody trying to talk you out of a relaxer. It's not like we're actually "losing a sister" since you aren't natural in the first place:lachen:. Now if you were, and you were asking for our opinions, that'd be a whole different story.

I just always question when people say that natural hair isn't for them...because that clearly doesn't make sense. But to say I like wearing straight hair, well that does make sense.
 
SouthernStunner said:
Ok so I guess I am still unclear. Should I say that the time, energy and preference is not what I choose. I have learned in the past year that being a mom of twins, working full time, going to school full time and being a wife takes up a lot of my time and energy. I just prefer to wear my hair straight thats all. I didnt mean to offend anyone but this conversation alone proves what I orginally said. I feel like in this thread I am trying to be convinced otherwise.
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Don't feel like we're pressuring you into wearing your hair a certain way. That wasn't my intention. If you love your hair the way it is, then I love it too. Who am I to tell you any differently? Don't feel offended by us.
 
msa said:
I figured it was just semantics. Girl ain't nobody trying to talk you out of a relaxer. It's not like we're actually "losing a sister" since you aren't natural in the first place:lachen:. Now if you were, and you were asking for our opinions, that'd be a whole different story.

I just always question when people say that natural hair isn't for them...because that clearly doesn't make sense. But to say I like wearing straight hair, well that does make sense.
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I agree completely.

No one is trying to dissuade you from relaxing your hair OP - I don't think anyone actually cares tbh. Since you've clarified that no-one here has ever actually begged you to "stay" natural, it just goes to show that LHCF naturals aren't actually invested at all in what you do with your hair. So I don't feel the "sorry naturals but I'm bonelaxed" statement directed specifically at this board was really necessary (it seemed a tad random).

I think it's a shame naturals you know IRL trying to convince you to do something you don't want to (I don't think anyone should do that) but I think your message should have stay with them.
 
I’m not saying that this is the case here but often I feel that women who decide to relax assume that naturals will have an issue and the same happens the other way around.

A lady who works in the same building as me suffered severe breakage from a new relaxer she tried and decided to stop perming and flatiron her hair instead. The IT guy told her that I had been natural for years and only used natural products and may be able to offer some advice and gave her my extension number. I met her in reception and chatted to her. The next day I gave her samples of the products I used such as Aubrey organics etc for her to try and gave her some general advice etc over the next few months and her hair really recovered.

We became good friends and then after 14 months she sent me a text "You are going to hate me but I really want to relax my hair"

I sent her a text back "Why would I hate you? Some of my closest friends have relaxed their hair after being natural for several years I have not shot them yet. Relaxing is a personal choice" Yes we are still good friends and we went to lunch yesterday :grin:

Another lady who worked downstairs had been natural for 17 years. I normally see her everyday as she would pass by and say hello. I did not see her for a few days and one day I caught her trying to creep past my office without being seen.

I saw her and said hi and she looked really guilty. I then noticed that she had relaxed her hair. I said “Oh you relaxed your hair – it looks nice” She said that she was so shocked that I complimented her on her perm and said that she had been avoiding me all week and she was scared that she was going to bump into me as I wear my hair natural and also use natural products.

My people, my people
 
rosalindb said:
I’m not saying that this is the case here but often I feel that women who decide to relax assume that naturals will have an issue and the same happens the other way around.

A lady who works in the same building as me suffered severe breakage from a new relaxer she tried and decided to stop perming and flatiron her hair instead. The IT guy told her that I had been natural for years and only used natural products and may be able to offer some advice and gave her my extension number. I met her in reception and chatted to her. The next day I gave her samples of the products I used such as Aubrey organics etc for her to try and gave her some general advice etc over the next few months and her hair really recovered.

We became good friends and then after 14 months she sent me a text "You are going to hate me but I really want to relax my hair"

I sent her a text back "Why would I hate you? Some of my closest friends have relaxed their hair after being natural for several years I have not shot them yet. Relaxing is a personal choice" Yes we are still good friends and we went to lunch yesterday :grin:

Another lady who worked downstairs had been natural for 17 years. I normally see her everyday as she would pass by and say hello. I did not see her for a few days and one day I caught her trying to creep past my office without being seen.

I saw her and said hi and she looked really guilty. I then noticed that she had relaxed her hair. I said “Oh you relaxed your hair – it looks nice” She said that she was so shocked that I complimented her on her perm and said that she had been avoiding me all week and she was scared that she was going to bump into me as I wear my hair natural and also use natural products.

My people, my people
Click to expand...

What did they think you were going to do? Arrest them? Shave off their hair a'la Britney? LOL

Actually a woman in my office did the same thing and felt all guilty when she saw me. I told her to do whatever makes HER happy. As long as she doesn't slip a relaxer on my hair while I'm at the photocopy machine its all good :grin:
 
Honey, do you!


SouthernStunner said:
Since I have done my 54 week stretch I have noticed that alot of people think I am fully natural. When I tell people that I am not and I will be relaxing soon they try to talk me out of it. They treat me as if they are loosing a sister. I am sorry naturals but I am bonelaxed. I respect you guys but it aint me.
Click to expand...
 
I think OP posted updates on her thread. I think the thread is called APL for short haired ladies by DEC.... sumthing like that.
 
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