cmw45
Well-Known Member
DISCLAIMER: This thread is partially in response to the thread started by GoingNatural on her difficulties of getting women to listen to her hair advice as someone who does not have 4a/b or highly textured hair. That being said, most of the comments and/or observations in this post are not in direct response to anything GoingNatural said or posted but are in response to something that has been bothering me for awhile. She has lovely hair, a lot of the points she brought up in her post were vaild and no one should use her hair texture as a reason to invalidate the hard work and effort she puts into having lovely hair. That being said...
1) Some hair care practices are universal.--I think that there are a lot of "general" hair care principles that are applicable and can be beneficial to all hair types. An example would be protective styling. Whether you like to practice it or not, protective styling is generally beneficial for all hair typles.
2) Hair texture DOES play a role in how successful certain hair techniques are.--Whether or not Andre got it right or not with his limited hair typing system I think that most of us can acknowledge that there is a difference in how certain hair textures respond to different techniques and/or products. Especially those of us with multiple hair textures on our heads. That being said, what work for one 3c might not work for another and what works for a 1b just might work for a 4a. Ultimately, it is up to the individual and how willing they are to try different techniques. However, as someone else has stated there is a LOT of hair advice out there.
3) People are more likely to take advice from someone who is like them. AND it makes sense.--It makes sense to gravitate towards the advice that comes from someone who is "like me." As someone with dry skin that almost never has acne, it is unlikely that I will take advice on my skin care regimen from someone with oily acne prone skin. Is it possible the same things could work for both of us? Yes. Does it make more sense to take advice from someone else with dry sking that is not prone to acne? Yes.
4) While it can be frustrating, it doesn't really make any sense to deny that a lot of the variations among Blacks, especially as it realtes to our hair and skin color, are a result of mixing.--I understand that as a lighter skinned BLack person it can be frustrating to work hard at caring for your hair and to have all of your success attributed to being mixed or lighter skinned. But ya know what? As a darker skinned woman I am tired of people assuming that I can't grow long hair because I have dark skin. Or automatically assuming that it's not mine. I am tired of seeing little dark skinned girls with low self esteem because they rarely see women who look "like" them held up as beautiful. I am also tired of hearing ignorant young men call me and women who look like me "dark butts." I am tired of people assuming that I am going to hate on a lighter skinned woman just because she is lighter skinned. The fact that Halle Berry is considered the most beautiful Black woman in the world burns my grits. Why does a Black woman have to have lighter skin or European features (in her case, rhinoplasty) to be considered beautiful by the masses at large? Before you get mad at me, think about it. Is it ugly? Yes. Does it make it any less true? No. If you think I am lying please spend 5-10 minutes watching BET. (Anything more might be tramatic
)
Is any of this the fault of lighter skinned women? HECK NAW! But, I think that it is somewhat undermining for us to pretend that the world, and especially the Black community, doesn't see us as different.
1) Some hair care practices are universal.--I think that there are a lot of "general" hair care principles that are applicable and can be beneficial to all hair types. An example would be protective styling. Whether you like to practice it or not, protective styling is generally beneficial for all hair typles.
2) Hair texture DOES play a role in how successful certain hair techniques are.--Whether or not Andre got it right or not with his limited hair typing system I think that most of us can acknowledge that there is a difference in how certain hair textures respond to different techniques and/or products. Especially those of us with multiple hair textures on our heads. That being said, what work for one 3c might not work for another and what works for a 1b just might work for a 4a. Ultimately, it is up to the individual and how willing they are to try different techniques. However, as someone else has stated there is a LOT of hair advice out there.
3) People are more likely to take advice from someone who is like them. AND it makes sense.--It makes sense to gravitate towards the advice that comes from someone who is "like me." As someone with dry skin that almost never has acne, it is unlikely that I will take advice on my skin care regimen from someone with oily acne prone skin. Is it possible the same things could work for both of us? Yes. Does it make more sense to take advice from someone else with dry sking that is not prone to acne? Yes.
4) While it can be frustrating, it doesn't really make any sense to deny that a lot of the variations among Blacks, especially as it realtes to our hair and skin color, are a result of mixing.--I understand that as a lighter skinned BLack person it can be frustrating to work hard at caring for your hair and to have all of your success attributed to being mixed or lighter skinned. But ya know what? As a darker skinned woman I am tired of people assuming that I can't grow long hair because I have dark skin. Or automatically assuming that it's not mine. I am tired of seeing little dark skinned girls with low self esteem because they rarely see women who look "like" them held up as beautiful. I am also tired of hearing ignorant young men call me and women who look like me "dark butts." I am tired of people assuming that I am going to hate on a lighter skinned woman just because she is lighter skinned. The fact that Halle Berry is considered the most beautiful Black woman in the world burns my grits. Why does a Black woman have to have lighter skin or European features (in her case, rhinoplasty) to be considered beautiful by the masses at large? Before you get mad at me, think about it. Is it ugly? Yes. Does it make it any less true? No. If you think I am lying please spend 5-10 minutes watching BET. (Anything more might be tramatic
) Is any of this the fault of lighter skinned women? HECK NAW! But, I think that it is somewhat undermining for us to pretend that the world, and especially the Black community, doesn't see us as different.
5) People with "looser" textured hair are treated differently than those with more tightly curled hair. --Let's admit it. I have 4a/3c hair that forms loose s curls in the back and coils at the front. Since I went natural there has been no end to the stream of support I have received from most people to stay natural. One of my sorors has 4b/cish hair and people are constantly asking her, "When are you going to do something to your hair?" It would be silly for me to deny that the affirmation that I get from outsiders about how nice my natural hair looks doesn't have something to do with my motivation to stay natural. It would also be silly for me to deny that she has had a more difficult time staying natural when everyone, including members of her own family, think she should "slap a relaxer" on her head. This mentality isn't new. All we have to do is talk to our parents about how different Afros were perceived back in the 70's. While I am not suggesting that there is anything to pity about someone with more highly textured hair it really is annoying when I hear someone like one of my other sorority sisters (3b) brag about how she has been natural her whole life and never had a relaxer. Um, well chick, no one ever told you, you NEEDED a relaxer. I am not saying that we don't all face pressure, I just think that it is important that we acknowledge differences.
*sighs* There is so much more that could be said, and it a lot of ways I am sure that I have said too much. That being said, I think that it is important that we all CELEBRATE the beauty we see in eachother...which includes the differences.
*sighs* There is so much more that could be said, and it a lot of ways I am sure that I have said too much. That being said, I think that it is important that we all CELEBRATE the beauty we see in eachother...which includes the differences.
and say you must be "mixed" with something and treat you like a nobody, especially when you're NOT mixed. And even if you are, that doesn't give them the right to treat you like a nobody. Stone me if you want, but that's how I feel.
