OMG..I Can't Till APL So That People Will Think I'm Mixed!

[BiRacialBarbie]

this thread is the best

 

[ShaniKeys]

Impatiently waiting for Redriot to answer lol.

 

[belle_reveuse28]

Wow...I was a bit disturbed by this thread. Guess I'm alone though. THe whole wanting desperately to be anything but "all black" undercurrent to the thread is a bit disappointing. Truth be told, most of us slave descendants are mixed somewhere along the line. You may not know it, but more than likely this is true. But I, like you, while I'm aware of the "other" races in both sides of my lineage, have never been proud or excited about this fact. It's just a fact, and that is all. I also have been to Africa, Egypt to be exact, and you are dead on about the mix of looks, even within that one country. I have tons of African friends in the U.S., from Ghana, Ethiopia, Somalia and NIGERIA (the majority). Point is, they all look different. There is as much beautiful variation among African-Americans and there is among Africans. I'm really glad that you brought this point up, and that we should all be proud of the predominant place that most of us originated from, AFRICA!

Thanks for bringing up your experiences in those countries. I think that is great! But one correction, the thread isn't about people wanting to be anything but "all black". It's satire really, of everyone's experiences in this country that if you have long hair, then people insist you MUST be mixed with something to be as beautiful as you are or to have that hair, and they actually think it's a complement, when inside you're just seething with anger or wanna punch somebody in teh face because it's actually insulting. Most of us know we're not "pure" African, neither are some Africans. But we do know that for teh most part, predominately, we're just black. And so this thread, spinning off of another, is just a satirical joke about the things people say to us, as if being black, and black alone isn't enough to make us as beautiful as we are. So in essence, they're all saying what you and I are saying, that we're just diverse people, but nevertheless, all from Africa and don't really have to be mixed with much of anything to have the ability to grow long hair or look a certain way. For some reason, this country wants to attribute beauty to any and everything except black people. Just sad... Hope this helps!

 

[jerseygurl]

Wow...I was a bit disturbed by this thread. Guess I'm alone though. THe whole wanting desperately to be anything but "all black" undercurrent to the thread is a bit disappointing. Truth be told, most of us slave descendants are mixed somewhere along the line. You may not know it, but more than likely this is true. But I, like you, while I'm aware of the "other" races in both sides of my lineage, have never been proud or excited about this fact. It's just a fact, and that is all. I also have been to Africa, Egypt to be exact, and you are dead on about the mix of looks, even within that one country. I have tons of African friends in the U.S., from Ghana, Ethiopia, Somalia and NIGERIA (the majority). Point is, they all look different. There is as much beautiful variation among African-Americans and there is among Africans. I'm really glad that you brought this point up, and that we should all be proud of the predominant place that most of us originated from, AFRICA!

Uh it's all in good fun and jest. If you read the first few posts, you'd realize that. Lighten up already

 

[jerseygurl]

Dear Tribeless injunigro,

First off I'd definitely suggest removing those braids ASAP. For those who have already witnessed your braid wearing, let them know that for years you've been in denial about your Indian heritage. Your maternal grandmother, a full blooded Indian, made a huge sacrifice by marrying a mostly black man (he had some Scottish blood somewhere down the line-you know black folks can't be 100% African, that's a death sentence)...she was isolated from her tribe and was forced to live around your black relatives. Tell them that you've finally come to terms and accepted that you are indeed not 100% black.

Now it's time to pull out all the stops.

Once your hair hits BSL, that's it. Start bubbling in "other" on official documents. Wear your hair in two "Indian style" braids and throw in some feathers for authenticity. If you have high cheekbones, wear makeup to make them look even higher. Look into using makeup to contour the nose. When people ask you if you're mixed, don't be afraid to speak up. You are black, Native American, and Scottish. But say it with a little sadness in your voice...your family history is full of so much pain. It's been a long road to accepting your mixed roots.

Once your hair gets Waistlength you're going to find yourself in a bit of a dilemma. Waistlength and longer opens many options for you. Don't take the bait. You'll be tempted to claim southern Italian, Greek, Indonesian, Filipino roots, but those around you will be watching closely. It's all about keeping your story consistent. Go get a fresh relaxer/black rinse and make sure your hair has plenty of swing. Invite your friends over and break the news. You found out you have more Indian blood than you thought. They'll all agree because there is no way a black girl could possibly have waistlength hair that moves in the wind. Break down into tears and relate to them how hard it is to be part Indian. Your long hair interferes with the black experience. Native Americans on the streets constantly mistake you for one of them. If they are good friends, they'll understand. You can spend the rest of the night gossiping and watching western movies. Make sure you are overly sympathetic to the Native Americans in the movies. What happened to your Indian ancestors was such a shame.

From that point on it's all about maintenance. You'll come across haters who will try to play Trivial Pursuit with you about your background, so make sure you can get choked up on queue while whispering "I don't want to talk about it, it's too painful". When other shorter-haired black women speak up about being part Indian, swing your hair from one shoulder to the next and ask "what tribe?" The long hair flip is very intimidating because it gives you power in the situation. You have long hair and you're part Indian, those other non-important females best sit down somewhere. You shouldn't have to deal with that, you're MIXED!

Dear Guru RedRiot,

I have soo much to say to you. First off thank you for your speddy response, I took out my braids as you suggested guess what I'M WAIST LENGTH (went from APL to WL in 2 weeks ha). So I will try out your suggestions oh great one.

Oh to no longer be black is soooooooo wonderful

 

[Lava27]

Thanks for bringing up your experiences in those countries. I think that is great! But one correction, the thread isn't about people wanting to be anything but "all black". It's satire really, of everyone's experiences in this country that if you have long hair, then people insist you MUST be mixed with something to be as beautiful as you are or to have that hair, and they actually think it's a complement, when inside you're just seething with anger or wanna punch somebody in teh face because it's actually insulting. Most of us know we're not "pure" African, neither are some Africans. But we do know that for teh most part, predominately, we're just black. And so this thread, spinning off of another, is just a satirical joke about the things people say to us, as if being black, and black alone isn't enough to make us as beautiful as we are. So in essence, they're all saying what you and I are saying, that we're just diverse people, but nevertheless, all from Africa and don't really have to be mixed with much of anything to have the ability to grow long hair or look a certain way. For some reason, this country wants to attribute beauty to any and everything except black people. Just sad... Hope this helps!

Hello! Thanks for your response. You're about the only person that clearly explained what this thread was all about. I think I first looked at it late at night when I was tired and stressed (school stuff), so I def had no time to go through the whole thing. Anyway, thanks for clarification

 

[Netta1]

This thread IS funny!!!!!

 

[BostonMaria]

*bumping for more mixed responses* LOLOLOL

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

It's satire really, of everyone's experiences in this country that if you have long hair, then people insist you MUST be mixed with something to be as beautiful as you are or to have that hair.

great point for people that don't catch on quickly lol.


anyway, i forgout about this thread and when i read the title my face was like erplexed​

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

lmao this thread is too funny​

 

[andromeda]

....................................

 

[nubiangoddess3]

I don't see what's so funny, you HAVE to be mixed to have long hair. It's just not possible. Even Teyana Taylor, with her full lips and wide nose hair is mixed...I mean, just look at all her hair. And yes, it's hers because according to the renowned article/blog "Discovering Hair", she is 1/2 Blackfoot Indian and Trinidadian (you know that "exotic" black not your regular ole garden variety negro AND since it's Trinidad, she HAS to have an Indian with a dot grandparent) ...so it has to be her hair. Yall are just hating on mixed folks because YOUR hair is not as fabulous and lush as this lacef...I mean natural hair


Directly from hairblog:

"Two of my great readers sparked further interest in Teyana. The question posed by one reader was is this her real hair. I’m pretty sure it is. I never second guessed it. One of my other readers chimed in with “Teyanas hair is real if you go to her offical fansite she is half native american(blackfoot) and her mom is trinidadian she uses matrix shampoo + conditioner and carlos daughter hair milk. If you watch the episode you can see her bottle of hair milk when shes brushing her teeth and if you go to mtvs website and watch the aftershow you can see the matrix wen shes in the bathroom with her "mom.”

http://discoveringhair.com/blog/?p=114



And I'm mad that someone actually justified her hair being real due to being blackfoot indian and trinidadian -I thought people in this thread were playing games but for some, this sentiment seems to be true

My thoughts exactly, but this thread is funny..

 

[tbaby_8]

At APL I know I can tell people I'm mixed with Cherokee...but at what length do you think I can pull off Spanish???

Girl, why you silly!!!!

 

[Aviah]

Why am I so confused about this whole thread?

 

[growth2come]

This is so funny...Gosh I cant wait till I am told that I have indian in me....

 

[Mertzy]

LOL!!!! oh boy!!!

 

[andromeda]

Why am I so confused about this whole thread?

It's basically a satire of the sad yet amusing state of affairs regarding how looking mixed is venerated amongst some folk and the comments women with "abnormally" long hair have gotten from others. Belle Reveuse28 summed it up pretty well in this post.

My letter is addressed to red riot, who wrote a fabulous satire of a guide to passing for mixed. My letter pretty much reflects what my mentality would be if I allowed all the ig'nance we're jesting in this thread to seep too deep into my brain.

Hope this cleared things up - now, let the laughing begin!

 

[jerseyjill]

Thanks Rosa - beacuase I was praying that this was satire, sarcasm and comedy. If not, I would have been heartbroken at my sisters........

 

[JinaRicci]

LMBO- too funny!

ETA: Hmm...Rosa- a mild sunburn- ok... maybe add a red dot on your forehead, wash your hands in red dye & if all else fails wear a sari all summer no matter how hot it gets. no questions asked.

 

[*Muffin*]

Dear RedRiot,

Where do I begin? Let me start with some background info. My grandmother was East Indian, or at least she looked like she was. You see, her dad was Indian by way of Guyana and her mom was a Bajan "mulatto", with some mixture of black and Anglo (yawn) - nothing particularly special. My dad looks black, having inherited those darned dominant African geneswned: from his Jamaican dad and I pretty much look black, having inherited those same darned dominant African genes from both he and my mother (let's not even get into how her lack of any substantial mixededness has cursed me).

Here's my problem: until recently, with my bone straight, swangin' relaxed hair, Blacks and Indians alike would question me about my possible mixededness. My hair was not particularly long, but the confluence of the swang and my skin tone would pique others' interest in my origins. Well, now I'm transitioning and I am desperate to keep this mixeded thing going. Unfortunately - here's where those darned dominant African genes come in again - as my hair grows out, I realize that I certainly don't have grandma's 2a hair and don't have uncle's 3a hair *sigh*. Alas, I am my father's (and mother's) child. So, apart from brushing down my edges and allowing my summer tan to set in (I am willing to get a mild sunburn for the "coolie" effect, but I think a severe sunburn might be taking it a little far), what should I do as I transition to natural? Moreover, how do I explain my avatar pic to those who've already seen it?

View attachment 37584
I would really appreciate your sage advice, guru-ji (in the words of my ancestors), on this issue and am looking forward, with the greatest anticipation, to the second and third installments of your how-to guide that you teased in your first post on this thread .

Thanks in advance,

Desiring To Be Dougla
Brooklyn, NY

Girl, stop! You know you got that purty hair! Is that you in that pic when you were little with all that Hurr? All that lusciousness could at least get you an "are you dominican" or "are you from the islands" or somethin!

 

[Aviah]

It's basically a satire of the sad yet amusing state of affairs regarding how looking mixed is venerated amongst some folk and the comments women with "abnormally" long hair have gotten from others. Belle Reveuse28 summed it up pretty well in this post.

My letter is addressed to red riot, who wrote a fabulous satire of a guide to passing for mixed. My letter pretty much reflects what my mentality would be if I allowed all the ig'nance we're jesting in this thread to seep too deep into my brain.

Hope this cleared things up - now, let the laughing begin!

Thanks a lot for clearing this up. I thought OP was serious, I was like HUH?

 

[GoingNatural]

LMAO!!! I am over here ROLLING!!!

ETA: The best part is telling people you AREN'T mixed and watching them bug out lol

 

[aquajoyice]

LOL OhhhMaaaaGuuhdness! LOL

 

[Whimsy]

lmao that this thread popped back up.

SMH lol

 

[andromeda]

LMBO- too funny!

ETA: Hmm...Rosa- a mild sunburn- ok... maybe add a red dot on your forehead, wash your hands in red dye & if all else fails wear a sari all summer no matter how hot it gets. no questions asked.

Thanks for the advice, I will definitely consider it. Although, it must also be stressed that when one is truly mixeded, one does not try to call attention to one's mixededness through adornment and dress. Such behavior could be construed as "gauche" and "declasse" and, well, trying too hard. The true joy of being mixeded is when you appear as though you're not trying at all and people still approach in awe of your mixededness.:lovedrool:

Girl, stop! You know you got that purty hair! Is that you in that pic when you were little with all that Hurr? All that lusciousness could at least get you an "are you dominican" or "are you from the islands" or somethin!

Thanks, girl. You so sweet! It is me in the pic and I do get Dominican sometimes but I'm tryna take it to a whole 'nother level of mixededness. I mean, I know I'm never gonna reach that Aishwarya Rai-type Indian exoticness or Uzbek/Kyrgyzstani exoticness, but a girl's gotta at least try, right?

 

[Soulberry]

I know I am VERY LATE on this one! But if you are mixed with cherokee as I am the hair texture is different anyway. I doubt people who are cherokee would be fooled. My father wouldn't. I know I wouldn't be. Just remember you are still BLACK no matter what hair length you have. I know most black women want to be adored of constant ridicule for being it. DONT FORGET YOUR MAKER MAY BE BLACK

 

[Geminigirl]

hey soul...are you serious? not trying to be rude i just don't know if ur joking.

 

[BostonMaria]

I know I am VERY LATE on this one! But if you are mixed with cherokee as I am the hair texture is different anyway. I doubt people who are cherokee would be fooled. My father wouldn't. I know I wouldn't be. Just remember you are still BLACK no matter what hair length you have. I know most black women want to be adored of constant ridicule for being it. DONT FORGET YOUR MAKER MAY BE BLACK

hey soul...are you serious? not trying to be rude i just don't know if ur joking.

I hope you guys realize that this whole thread is a joke.

 

[beaux cheveux]

hey soul...are you serious? not trying to be rude i just don't know if ur joking.

It is a joke
They're just poking fun at people who insist they know your heritage and 'non-blackness' based on your hair length.

 

[BostonMaria]

Dear RedRiot,

Where do I begin? Let me start with some background info. My grandmother was East Indian, or at least she looked like she was. You see, her dad was Indian by way of Guyana and her mom was a Bajan "mulatto", with some mixture of black and Anglo (yawn) - nothing particularly special. My dad looks black, having inherited those darned dominant African geneswned: from his Jamaican dad and I pretty much look black, having inherited those same darned dominant African genes from both he and my mother (let's not even get into how her lack of any substantial mixededness has cursed me).

Here's my problem: until recently, with my bone straight, swangin' relaxed hair, Blacks and Indians alike would question me about my possible mixededness. My hair was not particularly long, but the confluence of the swang and my skin tone would pique others' interest in my origins. Well, now I'm transitioning and I am desperate to keep this mixeded thing going. Unfortunately - here's where those darned dominant African genes come in again - as my hair grows out, I realize that I certainly don't have grandma's 2a hair and don't have uncle's 3a hair *sigh*. Alas, I am my father's (and mother's) child. So, apart from brushing down my edges and allowing my summer tan to set in (I am willing to get a mild sunburn for the "coolie" effect, but I think a severe sunburn might be taking it a little far), what should I do as I transition to natural? Moreover, how do I explain my avatar pic to those who've already seen it?

View attachment 37584
I would really appreciate your sage advice, guru-ji (in the words of my ancestors), on this issue and am looking forward, with the greatest anticipation, to the second and third installments of your how-to guide that you teased in your first post on this thread .

Thanks in advance,

Desiring To Be Dougla
Brooklyn, NY

OMG! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!