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OMG..I Can't Till APL So That People Will Think I'm Mixed!

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redRiot said:
Dear NoCurlsinChicago,
A braidout is an excellent way to make that passing journey a little easier. If you can commit to wearing braidouts 24/7, people will think your hair is naturally wavy. There is also the option of a texturizer, remember: once you tell people you are mixed, they will automatically believe that the 2b hair sitting on your head is your natural texture. If you decide to go the braidout path, claiming half Egyptian will earn you the nickname "Cleopatra" and it's exotic enough for us black folks. Throw in some native Hawaiian and a dash of Peruvian and black mens gonna lose their minds. The texturizer will guarantee that you can claim at least 1/2 Indian, and that Indian blood is pure gold around these parts.

Now, if you go the braidout path and get caught in the rain...don't fret. Just tell folks that your new "afro" is a lacefront wig. Remember, mixed folks don't have 4a/b hair naturally :nono: That's unheard of! ...if they seem a little scared and confused--it's a normal reaction, pat them on the back and reassure them that you are still mixed, but exploring your black side with the wig. Scold them for thinking otherwise. How dare they question your mixedness? :gunner7:Are they jealous? Of course they are! Make sure that braidout is extra shiny the next day and swing it in those hatin' *****s faces. You can't help you're mixed! hmph!
Click to expand...


:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen: OMG....Ms. RedRiot...you are TOO FUNNY!!!.....I :notworthy to you!
 
next person that says something bout 'mixtedness' I will respond with...

well yes, my peeps were raped as much as the rest of em.
 
*Muffin* said:
:lachen::lachen: You ladies are too funny. The funniest thing is that I don't think it will take too much for you to make people think you're part Hispanic. All they have to see is healthy, swangin' hair and then you say "Hola" and trust me, they're thinkin' it :grin:.

:lachen::lachen::lachen: Too funny
Click to expand...
 
jerseygurl said:
:lachen::lachen::lachen:

I'd forgotten about this thread. It is hilarious!!! Redriot and mwedzi please stop.

I need to start looking in the mirror to find my "mixture". People think I'm from the islands already so I could pass for Cape Verdean.:lachen:

Dear Redriot,

What else can I do to bring out my "indian" features. My eyes aren't slanty but my nose isn't too broad and flat but it's not so pointy either. My hair is in braids right now but imma pull those suckas out as soon as you give me a response.

Thanks,
Tribeless "injunigro"
Click to expand...

Dear Tribeless injunigro,

First off I'd definitely suggest removing those braids ASAP. For those who have already witnessed your braid wearing, let them know that for years you've been in denial about your Indian heritage. Your maternal grandmother, a full blooded Indian, made a huge sacrifice by marrying a mostly black man (he had some Scottish blood somewhere down the line-you know black folks can't be 100% African, that's a death sentence)...she was isolated from her tribe and was forced to live around your black relatives. Tell them that you've finally come to terms and accepted that you are indeed not 100% black. :nono:

Now it's time to pull out all the stops.

Once your hair hits BSL, that's it. Start bubbling in "other" on official documents. Wear your hair in two "Indian style" braids and throw in some feathers for authenticity. If you have high cheekbones, wear makeup to make them look even higher. Look into using makeup to contour the nose. When people ask you if you're mixed, don't be afraid to speak up. You are black, Native American, and Scottish. But say it with a little sadness in your voice...your family history is full of so much pain. It's been a long road to accepting your mixed roots.:sad:

Once your hair gets Waistlength you're going to find yourself in a bit of a dilemma. Waistlength and longer opens many options for you. Don't take the bait. You'll be tempted to claim southern Italian, Greek, Indonesian, Filipino roots, but those around you will be watching closely. It's all about keeping your story consistent. Go get a fresh relaxer/black rinse and make sure your hair has plenty of swing. Invite your friends over and break the news. You found out you have more Indian blood than you thought. They'll all agree because there is no way a black girl could possibly have waistlength hair that moves in the wind. Break down into tears and relate to them how hard it is to be part Indian. Your long hair interferes with the black experience. Native Americans on the streets constantly mistake you for one of them. If they are good friends, they'll understand. You can spend the rest of the night gossiping and watching western movies. Make sure you are overly sympathetic to the Native Americans in the movies. What happened to your Indian ancestors was such a shame.

From that point on it's all about maintenance. You'll come across haters who will try to play Trivial Pursuit with you about your background, so make sure you can get choked up on queue while whispering "I don't want to talk about it, it's too painful". When other shorter-haired black women speak up about being part Indian, swing your hair from one shoulder to the next and ask "what tribe?" The long hair flip is very intimidating because it gives you power in the situation. You have long hair and you're part Indian, those other non-important females best sit down somewhere. You shouldn't have to deal with that, you're MIXED!
 
Dear Redriot

When the man scooping my fish out the tank at walmart assumed that my features and my obvious plastic kinky twists were indiginous to my tribe ( no joke):lachen::lachen: and proceeded to tell me my tribe and its history with my SO looking like :ohwell::nono::nono:. What should have I done? Should I have explored the roots of mixededness? Or should I have broken into the dance and language ingiginous to my tribe? Even better gone to the costumes section and picked out the costumes of my Indian tribe. Keep in mind Im 1/2 indian 1/2 white 1/2 chinese and 1/2 philipino. I need advice.
 
This thread is too much lol.


Dear Red Riot,

I am in need of your help. While I believe I've achieved 1/8 Native American status. I'm working on reaching 1/4 - 1/2 Native American. What more can I do to get better, faster results?

Sincerely,

Nearly There

PS. I also forgot to add that when I was younger I had silky slightly curly hair (2a), but by the time I reached age 4, my hair took a turn for the worse and went 3c on me. How can I explain this? Please advice.
 
Last edited:
I know, I was like "1 star thread!" This thread is too silly. No one's ever suggested I was mixed with anything except maybe half black and half negro. I might have also been part African. If my afro got exceptionally big, do you think that would do the trick? Or do I have to straighten it? I don't know how well this texture would be able to convince anyone I was part anything. Except maybe part Ghanain, part Ivorian, part Nigerian, part Senegalese, maybe part Angolan.
Click to expand...

:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:
 
This thread is making me weak! But this topic or rather when people say this to me, I get soooo mad...

When I went to college I met sooo many Africans and what I realized was that they were as diverse as we are, looks, hair, everything... It surprised me because I've never been to Africa, and even if I had, not every country. So therefore, I got a great cultural lesson that really enriched my life. So when people say this to me becuase I have curly hair and small features, I respond by saying that first of all, what makes you think I need to be mixed with anything to be beautiful. I'm black. Just black (although, I hate to admit that there are other races in my heritage, but believe me, I think the blackness is where my beauty really comes from)....

Then I proceed to say, if you see Africans from many different countries, Somalia, Ethiopia, Kenya, Liberia, Sudan, everywhere, even Egypt cause they on the same continent, but people look like us. All types of hair textures, curly, straight, kinky, slanted eyes, round eyes, almond; black dark skin, medium and light... You get teh whole gamut. So when I look at myself in the mirror, I often try to imagine who in Africa do I look like, rather than thinking, what's in me that's non-black that makes me look like this... It's so freeing and liberating... and it shuts people up so fast... makes them think.. and sometimes, SOMETIMES, I get a thanks for teaching someone a lesson and something they didn't know...

I know yall know back in the late 90s Somalia was turning out supermodels all over the globe... So yea for them... I only wish I was that fine!
 
joyandfaith said:
Next time someone asks one of us the mixed/exotic question lets try to come up with the most far-fetched thing we can think of...

...oh me, I'm 1/2 Uzbekistani and 1/2 Icelandic :lachen:

when they start looking at you crazy say, "you seemed like you'd be disappointed to hear that I'm Black". That'll get 'em backpedaling
Click to expand...


OMG! So gonna use this one (typing on my iphone notepad for a quick and handy response!) :lachen:
 
redRiot said:
Dear Tribeless injunigro,

First off I'd definitely suggest removing those braids ASAP. For those who have already witnessed your braid wearing, let them know that for years you've been in denial about your Indian heritage. Your maternal grandmother, a full blooded Indian, made a huge sacrifice by marrying a mostly black man (he had some Scottish blood somewhere down the line-you know black folks can't be 100% African, that's a death sentence)...she was isolated from her tribe and was forced to live around your black relatives. Tell them that you've finally come to terms and accepted that you are indeed not 100% black. :nono:

Now it's time to pull out all the stops.

Once your hair hits BSL, that's it. Start bubbling in "other" on official documents. Wear your hair in two "Indian style" braids and throw in some feathers for authenticity. If you have high cheekbones, wear makeup to make them look even higher. Look into using makeup to contour the nose. When people ask you if you're mixed, don't be afraid to speak up. You are black, Native American, and Scottish. But say it with a little sadness in your voice...your family history is full of so much pain. It's been a long road to accepting your mixed roots.:sad:

Once your hair gets Waistlength you're going to find yourself in a bit of a dilemma. Waistlength and longer opens many options for you. Don't take the bait. You'll be tempted to claim southern Italian, Greek, Indonesian, Filipino roots, but those around you will be watching closely. It's all about keeping your story consistent. Go get a fresh relaxer/black rinse and make sure your hair has plenty of swing. Invite your friends over and break the news. You found out you have more Indian blood than you thought. They'll all agree because there is no way a black girl could possibly have waistlength hair that moves in the wind. Break down into tears and relate to them how hard it is to be part Indian. Your long hair interferes with the black experience. Native Americans on the streets constantly mistake you for one of them. If they are good friends, they'll understand. You can spend the rest of the night gossiping and watching western movies. Make sure you are overly sympathetic to the Native Americans in the movies. What happened to your Indian ancestors was such a shame.

From that point on it's all about maintenance. You'll come across haters who will try to play Trivial Pursuit with you about your background, so make sure you can get choked up on queue while whispering "I don't want to talk about it, it's too painful". When other shorter-haired black women speak up about being part Indian, swing your hair from one shoulder to the next and ask "what tribe?" The long hair flip is very intimidating because it gives you power in the situation. You have long hair and you're part Indian, those other non-important females best sit down somewhere. You shouldn't have to deal with that, you're MIXED!
Click to expand...


STOP IT I SAY!! :lachen::lachen: I'm about to pee on myself!! :lachen:
 
truequeen06 said:
This thread is too much lol.


Dear Red Riot,

I am in need of your help. While I believe I've achieved 1/8 Native American status. I'm working on reaching 1/4 - 1/2 Native American. What more can I do to get better, faster results?

Sincerely,

Nearly There

PS. I also forgot to add that when I was younger I had silky slightly curly hair (2a), but by the time I reached age 4, my hair took a turn for the worse and went 3c on me. How can I explain this? Please advice.
Click to expand...

TrueQueen, quit playing. Looking at your siggy pic...are you even black? If you are claiming black you are certainly doing yourself a disservice :naughty:. Girl you should have been capitalizing on this mixededness from birth!

Your 2a hair as a child suggests that you are in fact at least 3/4 Native American. :superbanana: Dig up those pictures and put them to work. Show them to everyone you come across, no matter the situation. Your server, the cashier at WalGreens, the lady at the Burger King drive-through, etc. When they see your silky wavy/curly hair their jaw will drop and they'll mouthed quietly "OMG, you're M-M-M-M-MIXED". Just smile and nod.

As for the current 3c hair...you're very proud of your black roots, even though you are only 1/4 black. Just tell them you spend hours in the morning teasing your hair like they did in the 80's to make your hair look more "ethnic". You're tired of the wavy/curly "good hair" look. You grew tired of men divorcing their wives upon sight of your luscious silky waves. With the election of America's first black President you want to represent for the brothas and sistas. Remember, if they give you any trouble...don't hesitate to bust out the childhood photos. That'll put them in their place. You have solid proof of your mixededness. Do the long hair flip and ask "Any questions?". Wait a few seconds then throw up the fist and say "Yea, I thought so". While walking away do the Jane Brady swing. That will seal the deal.

Good luck!
 
WhipEffectz1 said:
Mid back will get you certified black girl mixed with something.I'm glad the star system isn't up because they would've beat this thread up with them. :lachen: :lachen: :lachen:
Click to expand...


This is soooo true, I'm asked if I'm mixed with something. Men and women ask me this. I'm like no, 100% black boo. All black no cream:grin:
 
belle_reveuse28 said:
OMG! So gonna use this one (typing on my iphone notepad for a quick and handy response!) :lachen:
Click to expand...

belle_reveuse28 said:
This thread is making me weak! But this topic or rather when people say this to me, I get soooo mad...

When I went to college I met sooo many Africans and what I realized was that they were as diverse as we are, looks, hair, everything... It surprised me because I've never been to Africa, and even if I had, not every country. So therefore, I got a great cultural lesson that really enriched my life. So when people say this to me becuase I have curly hair and small features, I respond by saying that first of all, what makes you think I need to be mixed with anything to be beautiful. I'm black. Just black (although, I hate to admit that there are other races in my heritage, but believe me, I think the blackness is where my beauty really comes from)....

Then I proceed to say, if you see Africans from many different countries, Somalia, Ethiopia, Kenya, Liberia, Sudan, everywhere, even Egypt cause they on the same continent, but people look like us. All types of hair textures, curly, straight, kinky, slanted eyes, round eyes, almond; black dark skin, medium and light... You get teh whole gamut. So when I look at myself in the mirror, I often try to imagine who in Africa do I look like, rather than thinking, what's in me that's non-black that makes me look like this... It's so freeing and liberating... and it shuts people up so fast... makes them think.. and sometimes, SOMETIMES, I get a thanks for teaching someone a lesson and something they didn't know...

I know yall know back in the late 90s Somalia was turning out supermodels all over the globe... So yea for them... I only wish I was that fine!
Click to expand...

Wow...I was a bit disturbed by this thread. Guess I'm alone though. THe whole wanting desperately to be anything but "all black" undercurrent to the thread is a bit disappointing. Truth be told, most of us slave descendants are mixed somewhere along the line. You may not know it, but more than likely this is true. But I, like you, while I'm aware of the "other" races in both sides of my lineage, have never been proud or excited about this fact. It's just a fact, and that is all. I also have been to Africa, Egypt to be exact, and you are dead on about the mix of looks, even within that one country. I have tons of African friends in the U.S., from Ghana, Ethiopia, Somalia and NIGERIA (the majority). Point is, they all look different. There is as much beautiful variation among African-Americans and there is among Africans. I'm really glad that you brought this point up, and that we should all be proud of the predominant place that most of us originated from, AFRICA! :)
 
also wanted to add...didn't have time to read all 24 pages, so perhaps similar sentiments have already been expressed
 
:lachen::lachen:Lawd have mercy!

Since I'm almost APL I don't know which tribe to pick. I'm Jamaican and dark skinned...any suggestions? Maybe I can claim Arawak?:lachen:
 
:lachen::lachen: We should re-name this thread "Red Riot's Guide to Capitalizing on Your Mixedness!"

You should have your own column entitled "Dear Red Riot"... :lachen:
 
Lava27 said:
Wow...I was a bit disturbed by this thread. Guess I'm alone though. THe whole wanting desperately to be anything but "all black" undercurrent to the thread is a bit disappointing. Truth be told, most of us slave descendants are mixed somewhere along the line. You may not know it, but more than likely this is true. But I, like you, while I'm aware of the "other" races in both sides of my lineage, have never been proud or excited about this fact. It's just a fact, and that is all. I also have been to Africa, Egypt to be exact, and you are dead on about the mix of looks, even within that one country. I have tons of African friends in the U.S., from Ghana, Ethiopia, Somalia and NIGERIA (the majority). Point is, they all look different. There is as much beautiful variation among African-Americans and there is among Africans. I'm really glad that you brought this point up, and that we should all be proud of the predominant place that most of us originated from, AFRICA! :)
Click to expand...


Um, yeah this thread is a joke.:look: It's sarcasm, I forget how it started, but I think it's a spinoff of another thread.
 
I don't see what's so funny, you HAVE to be mixed to have long hair. It's just not possible. Even Teyana Taylor, with her full lips and wide nose hair is mixed...I mean, just look at all her hair. And yes, it's hers because according to the renowned article/blog "Discovering Hair", she is 1/2 Blackfoot Indian and Trinidadian (you know that "exotic" black not your regular ole garden variety negro AND since it's Trinidad, she HAS to have an Indian with a dot grandparent) ...so it has to be her hair. Yall are just hating on mixed folks because YOUR hair is not as fabulous and lush as this lacef...I mean natural hair :look:


Directly from hairblog:

"Two of my great readers sparked further interest in Teyana. The question posed by one reader was is this her real hair. I’m pretty sure it is. I never second guessed it. One of my other readers chimed in with “Teyanas hair is real if you go to her offical fansite she is half native american(blackfoot) and her mom is trinidadian she uses matrix shampoo + conditioner and carlos daughter hair milk. If you watch the episode you can see her bottle of hair milk when shes brushing her teeth and if you go to mtvs website and watch the aftershow you can see the matrix wen shes in the bathroom with her "mom.”

http://discoveringhair.com/blog/?p=114


:lachen::lachen::lachen:
And I'm mad that someone actually justified her hair being real due to being blackfoot indian and trinidadian -I thought people in this thread were playing games but for some, this sentiment seems to be true :spinning::spinning::lachen::lachen:
 
Last edited:
Dear Red Riot,

I'm DESPERATELY in need of your help! I SO want to capitalize on my "mixedness" but I have a few obstacles standing in my way. First of all, I don't pass the "brown paper bag test", so does that mean that even though I'm currently APL that I have to wait until I'm tailbone length?! *faints* OMG... I can't wait that long! :blush: I need to be among the mixed elite pronto! :reddancer:

My second obstacle is that I have a huge ghetto fabulous "badonka donk" butt! Would that be a dead giveaway that I'm an imposter?! What will I tell people? :sad:

Please help me Red Riot! :help3: If anyone can do it, you can! Please save me! :hero: I absolutely CANNOT bear going thru life with people looking at me like I'm 100% negro! :nono: I mean, couldn't I at least pass for a senglenese dominican cherokee??

Signed,

Desperate to Pass :pullhair:
 
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