OMG..I Can't Till APL So That People Will Think I'm Mixed!

[BostonMaria]

I love this thread. Its one of my favorites.

 

[Crissi]

this post is SO OLD lol but i was lookin at the comments. black and asian people have A LOT of the same features, unabridged noses, almond eyes, look at people like Amerie who are asian and black, you can't even tell really that she's mixed because so many asian features black people can have too. The same goes with anyone i've known who's black and asian, it's hard to tear apart what those black or asian features are sometimes, and which side you got them from because both sides have similar features.

Thats so true, i did not know she was mixed. I thought she was just black until i heard otherwise! I thought it was just me who thought that!...

 

[Faith]

At APL I know I can tell people I'm mixed with Cherokee...but at what length do you think I can pull off Spanish???

I gotta say this has been the funniest post I have read in ages...thanks
You all have me LMAO in here...

 

[sexyeyes3616]

That's the length you get to say that you're 1/16th Puerto Rican because your mama's sister's cousin's daddy's grandmother's second husband was Puerto Rican.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

RED RIOT'S GUIDE TO PASSING FOR MIXED: For those of the clearly "nigro" variety

As long as your hair is SL or longer, length isn't the key. It's about how straight you can get them edges. LADIES, don't ruin your chances of being mistaken for other by not hitting those edges! Even butt length hair will get you thrown into the nigro category if those edges are of the taco meat variety.

Naturals! Listen up! You have to define those curls just right. You don't have to have much hair at all, as long as you keep up with the coconut/lime, caramel, and henna treatments--your curls will scream PART BLACKFOOT!

Lastly, if you want to go the Indian route, make sure you choose the right tribe. Lighter skin ladies can choose Cherokee, but if you are dark make sure you choose a darker Indian tribe. Mixing up tribes can be embarrassing. Make sure you have a good story to account for a wide nose and full lips if the face isn't as "exotic" as the hair. It helps if inquiring parties have never seen your parents, one must keep the "mixed" or "not black" parent in hiding, people will question your "mixedness" even more if your parents looks like Fantasia and Djimon Honsou. For Example: My father is [insert darker Indian tribe here]--but my mother is mostly of the Alek Wek variety. See, you get your facial features from your African side, but your father isn't black at all, so CONGRATS you're mixed!


Stay tuned for Part II: What to do about the childhood pictures that show you and your Ms. Ciely braids from 3rd grade.

and Part III: What to do about the future children

 

[sexyeyes3616]

and @ your whole post

RED RIOT'S GUIDE TO PASSING FOR MIXED: For those of the clearly "nigro" variety

As long as your hair is SL or longer, length isn't the key. It's about how straight you can get them edges. LADIES, don't ruin your chances of being mistaken for other by not hitting those edges! Even butt length hair will get you thrown into the nigro category if those edges are of the taco meat variety.

Naturals! Listen up! You have to define those curls just right. You don't have to have much hair at all, as long as you keep up with the coconut/lime, caramel, and henna treatments--your curls will scream PART BLACKFOOT!

Lastly, if you want to go the Indian route, make sure you choose the right tribe. Lighter skin ladies can choose Cherokee, but if you are dark make sure you choose a darker Indian tribe. Mixing up tribes can be embarrassing. Make sure you have a good story to account for a wide nose and full lips if the face isn't as "exotic" as the hair. It helps if inquiring parties have never seen your parents, one must keep the "mixed" or "not black" parent in hiding, people will question your "mixedness" even more if your parents looks like Fantasia and Djimon Honsou. For Example: My father is [insert darker Indian tribe here]--but my mother is mostly of the Alek Wek variety. See, you get your facial features from your African side, but your father isn't black at all, so CONGRATS you're mixed!


Stay tuned for Part II: What to do about the childhood pictures that show you and your Ms. Ciely braids from 3rd grade.

and Part III: What to do about the future children

 

[asummertyme]

pure comedy!!

RED RIOT'S GUIDE TO PASSING FOR MIXED: For those of the clearly "nigro" variety

As long as your hair is SL or longer, length isn't the key. It's about how straight you can get them edges. LADIES, don't ruin your chances of being mistaken for other by not hitting those edges! Even butt length hair will get you thrown into the nigro category if those edges are of the taco meat variety.

Naturals! Listen up! You have to define those curls just right. You don't have to have much hair at all, as long as you keep up with the coconut/lime, caramel, and henna treatments--your curls will scream PART BLACKFOOT!

Lastly, if you want to go the Indian route, make sure you choose the right tribe. Lighter skin ladies can choose Cherokee, but if you are dark make sure you choose a darker Indian tribe. Mixing up tribes can be embarrassing. Make sure you have a good story to account for a wide nose and full lips if the face isn't as "exotic" as the hair. It helps if inquiring parties have never seen your parents, one must keep the "mixed" or "not black" parent in hiding, people will question your "mixedness" even more if your parents looks like Fantasia and Djimon Honsou. For Example: My father is [insert darker Indian tribe here]--but my mother is mostly of the Alek Wek variety. See, you get your facial features from your African side, but your father isn't black at all, so CONGRATS you're mixed!


Stay tuned for Part II: What to do about the childhood pictures that show you and your Ms. Ciely braids from 3rd grade.

and Part III: What to do about the future children

 

[Christina Dior]

RED RIOT'S GUIDE TO PASSING FOR MIXED: For those of the clearly "nigro" variety

As long as your hair is SL or longer, length isn't the key. It's about how straight you can get them edges. LADIES, don't ruin your chances of being mistaken for other by not hitting those edges! Even butt length hair will get you thrown into the nigro category if those edges are of the taco meat variety.

Naturals! Listen up! You have to define those curls just right. You don't have to have much hair at all, as long as you keep up with the coconut/lime, caramel, and henna treatments--your curls will scream PART BLACKFOOT!

Lastly, if you want to go the Indian route, make sure you choose the right tribe. Lighter skin ladies can choose Cherokee, but if you are dark make sure you choose a darker Indian tribe. Mixing up tribes can be embarrassing. Make sure you have a good story to account for a wide nose and full lips if the face isn't as "exotic" as the hair. It helps if inquiring parties have never seen your parents, one must keep the "mixed" or "not black" parent in hiding, people will question your "mixedness" even more if your parents looks like Fantasia and Djimon Honsou. For Example: My father is [insert darker Indian tribe here]--but my mother is mostly of the Alek Wek variety. See, you get your facial features from your African side, but your father isn't black at all, so CONGRATS you're mixed!


Stay tuned for Part II: What to do about the childhood pictures that show you and your Ms. Ciely braids from 3rd grade.

and Part III: What to do about the future children

I will be sure to use this girl lmao whats funny is people actually do this and have it down to a science

 

[BroadstreetBully]

I will be sure to use this girl lmao whats funny is people actually do this and have it down to a science

Now you know once YOU hit butt length YOU can pass for ANYTHING!

 

[anon123]

RED RIOT'S GUIDE TO PASSING FOR MIXED: For those of the clearly "nigro" variety


Naturals! Listen up! You have to define those curls just right. You don't have to have much hair at all, as long as you keep up with the coconut/lime, caramel, and henna treatments--your curls will scream PART BLACKFOOT!

Dear RedRiot,

I am natural 4b. I have tried defining the curl but have not been successful. At least, if my curl was defined, it was so tiny that neither I nor anyone else without the aid of a magnifying glass would be able to tell. Do you have any advice for me to pass as part non-"nigro"?

Signed,

NoCurlsinChicago

 

[buddhas_mom]

RED RIOT'S GUIDE TO PASSING FOR MIXED: For those of the clearly "nigro" variety

As long as your hair is SL or longer, length isn't the key. It's about how straight you can get them edges. LADIES, don't ruin your chances of being mistaken for other by not hitting those edges! Even butt length hair will get you thrown into the nigro category if those edges are of the taco meat variety.

Naturals! Listen up! You have to define those curls just right. You don't have to have much hair at all, as long as you keep up with the coconut/lime, caramel, and henna treatments--your curls will scream PART BLACKFOOT!

Lastly, if you want to go the Indian route, make sure you choose the right tribe. Lighter skin ladies can choose Cherokee, but if you are dark make sure you choose a darker Indian tribe. Mixing up tribes can be embarrassing. Make sure you have a good story to account for a wide nose and full lips if the face isn't as "exotic" as the hair. It helps if inquiring parties have never seen your parents, one must keep the "mixed" or "not black" parent in hiding, people will question your "mixedness" even more if your parents looks like Fantasia and Djimon Honsou. For Example: My father is [insert darker Indian tribe here]--but my mother is mostly of the Alek Wek variety. See, you get your facial features from your African side, but your father isn't black at all, so CONGRATS you're mixed!


Stay tuned for Part II: What to do about the childhood pictures that show you and your Ms. Ciely braids from 3rd grade.

and Part III: What to do about the future children

LMAO!!!!

 

[seashell]

Gosh well I hope I DO reach APL!!
People won't ask if i'm mixed they will just come up and try to pull that hair off my head!!

 

[jazzyto]

too funny!

 

[HeyItsHoney]

This has to be one of the most entertaining threads I've read in a while!

Y'all know what's funny? The entire time growing up, I thought I was mixed because I was the lightest person in my family. I got teased by my teenage uncles and cousins. They would call me "yellagirl" and tell me my daddy was a white man . My mom had nothing to say about him because he dissapeared before I was born.

When I was 26 I met my long-lost daddy and realized I wasn't. He's just a regular black sorry negro....lol

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Dear RedRiot,

I am natural 4b. I have tried defining the curl but have not been successful. At least, if my curl was defined, it was so tiny that neither I nor anyone else without the aid of a magnifying glass would be able to tell. Do you have any advice for me to pass as part non-"nigro"?

Signed,

NoCurlsinChicago

Dear NoCurlsinChicago,
A braidout is an excellent way to make that passing journey a little easier. If you can commit to wearing braidouts 24/7, people will think your hair is naturally wavy. There is also the option of a texturizer, remember: once you tell people you are mixed, they will automatically believe that the 2b hair sitting on your head is your natural texture. If you decide to go the braidout path, claiming half Egyptian will earn you the nickname "Cleopatra" and it's exotic enough for us black folks. Throw in some native Hawaiian and a dash of Peruvian and black mens gonna lose their minds. The texturizer will guarantee that you can claim at least 1/2 Indian, and that Indian blood is pure gold around these parts.

Now, if you go the braidout path and get caught in the rain...don't fret. Just tell folks that your new "afro" is a lacefront wig. Remember, mixed folks don't have 4a/b hair naturally That's unheard of! ...if they seem a little scared and confused--it's a normal reaction, pat them on the back and reassure them that you are still mixed, but exploring your black side with the wig. Scold them for thinking otherwise. How dare they question your mixedness? :gunner7:Are they jealous? Of course they are! Make sure that braidout is extra shiny the next day and swing it in those hatin' *****s faces. You can't help you're mixed! hmph!

 

[Filmatic]

This has to be one of the most entertaining threads I've read in a while!

Y'all know what's funny? The entire time growing up, I thought I was mixed because I was the lightest person in my family. I got teased by my teenage uncles and cousins. They would call me "yellagirl" and tell me my daddy was a white man . My mom had nothing to say about him because he dissapeared before I was born.

When I was 26 I met my long-lost daddy and realized I wasn't. He's just a regular black sorry negro....lol

Girl don't feel bad. My momma told me my daddy was Lionel Ritchie! How I wished that was true when it came to paying my college tuition.

 

[Noryette]

Dear NoCurlsinChicago,
A braidout is an excellent way to make that passing journey a little easier. If you can commit to wearing braidouts 24/7, people will think your hair is naturally wavy. There is also the option of a texturizer, remember: once you tell people you are mixed, they will automatically believe that the 2b hair sitting on your head is your natural texture. If you decide to go the braidout path, claiming half Egyptian will earn you the nickname "Cleopatra" and it's exotic enough for us black folks. Throw in some native Hawaiian and a dash of Peruvian and black mens gonna lose their minds. The texturizer will guarantee that you can claim at least 1/2 Indian, and that Indian blood is pure gold around these parts.

Now, if you go the braidout path and get caught in the rain...don't fret. Just tell folks that your new "afro" is a lacefront wig. Remember, mixed folks don't have 4a/b hair naturally That's unheard of! ...if they seem a little scared and confused--it's a normal reaction, pat them on the back and reassure them that you are still mixed, but exploring your black side with the wig. Scold them for thinking otherwise. How dare they question your mixedness? :gunner7:Are they jealous? Of course they are! Make sure that braidout is extra shiny the next day and swing it in those hatin' *****s faces. You can't help you're mixed! hmph!

Just when I thought your previous post was hilarious, this one literally left me in tears...and here I thought this thread was gonna make me mad . Now I'm gonna go look in the mirror and see what I can do to pass for non- "nigro"

 

[joyandfaith]

I think it depends on your location. Nobody ask that question in Cali but as soon as I step foot in a store in the Bronx people just start assuming . The funny think is people seem disappointed when I'm not. Oh well.

I agree with you on this. Leave it to Cali to have the chocolate brown women with the 2a hair.

 

[lilsparkle825]

RED RIOT'S GUIDE TO PASSING FOR MIXED: For those of the clearly "nigro" variety

As long as your hair is SL or longer, length isn't the key. It's about how straight you can get them edges. LADIES, don't ruin your chances of being mistaken for other by not hitting those edges! Even butt length hair will get you thrown into the nigro category if those edges are of the taco meat variety.

Naturals! Listen up! You have to define those curls just right. You don't have to have much hair at all, as long as you keep up with the coconut/lime, caramel, and henna treatments--your curls will scream PART BLACKFOOT!

Lastly, if you want to go the Indian route, make sure you choose the right tribe. Lighter skin ladies can choose Cherokee, but if you are dark make sure you choose a darker Indian tribe. Mixing up tribes can be embarrassing. Make sure you have a good story to account for a wide nose and full lips if the face isn't as "exotic" as the hair. It helps if inquiring parties have never seen your parents, one must keep the "mixed" or "not black" parent in hiding, people will question your "mixedness" even more if your parents looks like Fantasia and Djimon Honsou. For Example: My father is [insert darker Indian tribe here]--but my mother is mostly of the Alek Wek variety. See, you get your facial features from your African side, but your father isn't black at all, so CONGRATS you're mixed!


Stay tuned for Part II: What to do about the childhood pictures that show you and your Ms. Ciely braids from 3rd grade.

and Part III: What to do about the future children

 

[joyandfaith]

You're gonna need to come stronger than that. Soon we'll need to have ET genes to be considered exotic....

Next time someone asks one of us the mixed/exotic question lets try to come up with the most far-fetched thing we can think of...

...oh me, I'm 1/2 Uzbekistani and 1/2 Icelandic

when they start looking at you crazy say, "you seemed like you'd be disappointed to hear that I'm Black". That'll get 'em backpedaling

 

[~Hair~Fetish~]

Red Riot... you're KILLING me!!

*dog looks at me crazy cuz I'm laughing out loud*

 

[jerseygurl]

I'd forgotten about this thread. It is hilarious!!! Redriot and mwedzi please stop.

I need to start looking in the mirror to find my "mixture". People think I'm from the islands already so I could pass for Cape Verdean.

Dear Redriot,

What else can I do to bring out my "indian" features. My eyes aren't slanty but my nose isn't too broad and flat but it's not so pointy either. My hair is in braids right now but imma pull those suckas out as soon as you give me a response.

Thanks,
Tribeless "injunigro"

 

[Whimsy]

At APL I know I can tell people I'm mixed with Cherokee...but at what length do you think I can pull off Spanish???

OOOOH Missfadu i'm so mad at you.
I saw the thread title and was going to just SMH and roll past it but I saw it was started by you!! I was like NOOOOOOOOOO not you tooo!!! But I get in and now I'm

So thank you.
But I'm still mad at you!

 

[Seven7]

At APL I know I can tell people I'm mixed with Cherokee...but at what length do you think I can pull off Spanish???

WOW!!

 

[honeisos]

LOL A MESS ! lol

 

[Kalani]

RED RIOT'S GUIDE TO PASSING FOR MIXED: For those of the clearly "nigro" variety

As long as your hair is SL or longer, length isn't the key. It's about how straight you can get them edges. LADIES, don't ruin your chances of being mistaken for other by not hitting those edges! Even butt length hair will get you thrown into the nigro category if those edges are of the taco meat variety.

Naturals! Listen up! You have to define those curls just right. You don't have to have much hair at all, as long as you keep up with the coconut/lime, caramel, and henna treatments--your curls will scream PART BLACKFOOT!

Lastly, if you want to go the Indian route, make sure you choose the right tribe. Lighter skin ladies can choose Cherokee, but if you are dark make sure you choose a darker Indian tribe. Mixing up tribes can be embarrassing. Make sure you have a good story to account for a wide nose and full lips if the face isn't as "exotic" as the hair. It helps if inquiring parties have never seen your parents, one must keep the "mixed" or "not black" parent in hiding, people will question your "mixedness" even more if your parents looks like Fantasia and Djimon Honsou. For Example: My father is [insert darker Indian tribe here]--but my mother is mostly of the Alek Wek variety. See, you get your facial features from your African side, but your father isn't black at all, so CONGRATS you're mixed!


Stay tuned for Part II: What to do about the childhood pictures that show you and your Ms. Ciely braids from 3rd grade.

and Part III: What to do about the future children

:

 

[AshMoBev]

OMG!!! this thread is funny! Yall made my day!

 

[Hairsofab]

lol at this whole thread!

 

[BostonMaria]

Dear NoCurlsinChicago,
A braidout is an excellent way to make that passing journey a little easier. If you can commit to wearing braidouts 24/7, people will think your hair is naturally wavy. There is also the option of a texturizer, remember: once you tell people you are mixed, they will automatically believe that the 2b hair sitting on your head is your natural texture. If you decide to go the braidout path, claiming half Egyptian will earn you the nickname "Cleopatra" and it's exotic enough for us black folks. Throw in some native Hawaiian and a dash of Peruvian and black mens gonna lose their minds. The texturizer will guarantee that you can claim at least 1/2 Indian, and that Indian blood is pure gold around these parts.

Now, if you go the braidout path and get caught in the rain...don't fret. Just tell folks that your new "afro" is a lacefront wig. Remember, mixed folks don't have 4a/b hair naturally That's unheard of! ...if they seem a little scared and confused--it's a normal reaction, pat them on the back and reassure them that you are still mixed, but exploring your black side with the wig. Scold them for thinking otherwise. How dare they question your mixedness? :gunner7:Are they jealous? Of course they are! Make sure that braidout is extra shiny the next day and swing it in those hatin' *****s faces. You can't help you're mixed! hmph!

OMG!!!! I don't know why the HMPH at the end has me in tears

 

[naturalgurl]

Dear NoCurlsinChicago,
A braidout is an excellent way to make that passing journey a little easier. If you can commit to wearing braidouts 24/7, people will think your hair is naturally wavy. There is also the option of a texturizer, remember: once you tell people you are mixed, they will automatically believe that the 2b hair sitting on your head is your natural texture. If you decide to go the braidout path, claiming half Egyptian will earn you the nickname "Cleopatra" and it's exotic enough for us black folks. Throw in some native Hawaiian and a dash of Peruvian and black mens gonna lose their minds. The texturizer will guarantee that you can claim at least 1/2 Indian, and that Indian blood is pure gold around these parts.

Now, if you go the braidout path and get caught in the rain...don't fret. Just tell folks that your new "afro" is a lacefront wig. Remember, mixed folks don't have 4a/b hair naturally That's unheard of! ...if they seem a little scared and confused--it's a normal reaction, pat them on the back and reassure them that you are still mixed, but exploring your black side with the wig. Scold them for thinking otherwise. How dare they question your mixedness? :gunner7:Are they jealous? Of course they are! Make sure that braidout is extra shiny the next day and swing it in those hatin' *****s faces. You can't help you're mixed! hmph!

OMG, I'm crying over here. My boss asked me what was I laughing at(she's real cool).