"Isn't it unusual for black women to have long hair"

[tottzu]

Well, it is unusual, statistically speaking, isn't it? Can't be offended by that. Whether it's actually possible for black women to grow long hair is distinct from that.

I totally agree with that statement. Many black women as soon as they see a sister with long hair will say "that's a weave". If we have not yet come to terms with the possibilty that black women can grow long hair outside of locks, no wonder other races don't believe it is possible either.

Once we believe and learn the proper means to grow our hair across the board and that will not be for a very long tme, this is what we will continue to hear. Because the enlightened ladies on these beauty boards are quite small in numbers in comparison to how many unenlighted hair growers are out there. We just found enlightment sooner and must enlighten those we can and wait for the rest to catch up with us.

 

[Ganjababy]

A lot of black women cannot grow their hair long because they do not know how to retain length. If we were more enlightened about how to care for our more delicate tresses then there would be more black women with long hair.

 

[blazingthru]

I can understand why black woman make the comments they do about long hair (if by chance they see it on another black woman) I did everything under the sun to grow my hair as I knew to do and what others told me and nothing worked. Nothing I knew my hair could grow long but could never get it just right to start growing and so I started to believed that only certian types of people can grow their hair long. As it turns out that was all that I saw certain types of AA woman had long hair not your regular folks. Whats funny is its very simple to grow you hair long the question is are you willing to do it. I wasn't when i was told about it, it seem to silly. Wash your hair every three days then what blow it out and heat it up again that seems to much of a stretch for me. Deep condition whats wrong with the regular conditioner I don't have time for that. So many things I could have done that I didn't believe would work.

 

[almond eyes]

Dear Ladies,

I am West African and long hair is not prized in the society though now with all of the Western images from the music videos, there is pressure for African women to have long hair. It's not offensive if someone says that most black women have short hair, though I understand I myself hate generalisations and it is the way that someone says something that makes a difference. So what if we have short hair, we have beautiful skin tones and features and we don't age quickly. I guess the issue of hair is such a sensitive issue for black women in the States and we have to prove that we are still pretty or feminine to other races. However, I have to say that while we black women are to a degree obsessed about our hair, white women talk about their weight issues constantly and they are also obsessed with hair colouring which I often bring to their attention.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[cupcakes]

i think it is unusual for a black woman to have long hair that is not fake . In real life i rarely see it

 

[Menina Preta]

It's not surprising that people in general think that black women can't grow long hair. The majority of us are always in weaves, wigs, braids and the ones who do wear their own hair have short, overprocessed, chewed up hair so you really can't blame people for thinking that. We brought that on ourselves. Then you have black influential women like Tyra Banks who perpetuate that myth by talking about wigs and weaves every chance they get. It's sad but it happens. Once more black women realise that, their hair is beautiful and can grow long once they stop abusing it, the status quo will slowly change.

Yup, I haaate it when Tyra goes on and on about her wigs and weaves. She needs to stop.

 

[MizAvalon]

yep. i thought it was funny once when the pastor at my last church told a story about why is wife always cut the legs off the Thanksgiving turkey before putting it in the oven. she said cuz her mama 'nem did it that way. so he asked his mother-in-law, she said cuz that's how HER mama 'nem did it that way. so he asks grandma-in-law why, she says because back in the day she didn't have anything big enough to fit the whole turkey in, so she cut the legs off to make it fit.

moral of the story? some traditions don't need to be carried on.

Too funny! Folks just doing stuff because Mama n'em did it and they have no idea why.

 

[Menina Preta]

Dear Ladies,

I am West African and long hair is not prized in the society though now with all of the Western images from the music videos, there is pressure for African women to have long hair. It's not offensive if someone says that most black women have short hair, though I understand I myself hate generalisations and it is the way that someone says something that makes a difference. So what if we have short hair, we have beautiful skin tones and features and we don't age quickly. I guess the issue of hair is such a sensitive issue for black women in the States and we have to prove that we are still pretty or feminine to other races. However, I have to say that while we black women are to a degree obsessed about our hair, white women talk about their weight issues constantly and they are also obsessed with hair colouring which I often bring to their attention.

Best,
Almond Eyes

I agree with the hair coloring issue. While a lot of Black women color, I feel like many more White and Hispanic women do on a fairly frequent basis. One of my best friends who is PRican is always changing up her hair color and expects us to notice the subtle changes. IMO, if she left it her natural chocolate brown color, it would look just as nice as it does 'reddish brown.' I think every group has their own hair issue.

 

[DanaDane]

I will never understand why people think the way they do about this subject. Especially bald head black women. I know plenty of women who dont have any hair and are quick to tell me what I need to do with mine.
Nobody hardly ever sees my hair and when they do they go crazy about how long and pretty it is and ask what I do.

Yes--to the bold. Some have even tried to give me the name&number of their stylist even after they've 1. complimented my hair and 2. heard I do my own hair. It's bizzare. One woman had a really cute short cut, but it was dyed and really greasy looking, and she was really pushing her stylist's skills.

 

[chebaby]

i can see why she feels that way. many black women choose not to or dont know how to care for their hair. i have a friend who has a nice grade of hair. very soft and curly, think lisa bonet. anyway her hair never grew past nl and could barely fit into a ponytail. she recently got locks and its only been one year since her bc and she is a little past sl now. she uses great products now and she loves her hair. you have to know whats best for you inorder for it to grow and you to love your hair.

 

[BrooklynSouth]

I will never understand why people think the way they do about this subject. Especially bald head black women. I know plenty of women who dont have any hair and are quick to tell me what I need to do with mine.
Nobody hardly ever sees my hair and when they do they go crazy about how long and pretty it is and ask what I do. When I tell them do they ever listen. I have been telling my kids aunt to DC and moisturize her daughters hair for five years now why are her and her daughter still dry as the desert! I hate seeing that.
My 3yr old has more hair than them!
People like that are the reason why "black women cant grow their hair".

Another thing about me, people think I dont have hair because its always put away under a wig/weave/phony pony/braids/ect... They always ask "why, you dont need it" when they see my hair. Why dont people believe or understand protecting their hair will help it grow. (sorry if I offended ne1)

No, I would not have been offended; would've done what you did...given her a bit of education. Co-worker with breaking hair, scarce hairline-now she says she pulls it and it comes off in her hands!.. I gave her a hair book last year, told her a few products to use. I gave her the ORS product pamphlet along with some ORS samples I received with an order this week.
Told her she needs some moisture..did she listen or use them? No..came in today with some grease in her hair....I talk to her..she thinks I do not know better than her stylist who is not helping her problem at all.

 

[Isis]

I've concluded that it must be unusual from all of the stares (of the good kind) I get from men and women alike.

If I was in a room with a white lady or ladies with equally long hair, I'm the one who will get the continuous stares because I would be more of a "spectacle" in the eyes of many people. It doesn't seem to matter what part of the country it is either. Eventually, this will change as more black women take back their power with their hair.

 

[zzirvingj]

I just saw your siggy pic and HAD to tell you that your hair is GORGEOUS girl!!

What great progress you're making!!

 

[4evaRays]

Unfortunately, I think this is a common place idea not just among black people, but people in general.

True story: I'd just gotten my hair straightened and I headed to the BSS to find a wide tooth comb. As I stood in the store, comb in hand, the asian worker walked up behind me and asked "is that all your hair" I replied "yes, it is my natural hair" still in disbelief, she added "There's no weave in there at all?" I replied to her, as I parted my hair down the center to reveal the lack of tracks, "Nope, not at all." She was pretty impressed and went on with this speech about how most black women use weave and that she didn't mean to offend me. I wasn't offended, just curious as to why this was the normal reaction to a black woman with long hair.

This is also true among our children. I am an elementary teacher and I usually wear my hair in a ponytail or clipped up. One day I decided to wear my hair out after getting a touchup. As I'm walking down the hall, two 5th grade girls walk past and one whispers (not too quietly) to the other, "I almost thought that was her real hair." I was like erplexed. When I told her that it was my real hair, her mouth just dropped open. My hair isn't even that long. It's a little between SL and APL. But unfortunately where I teach it's not uncommon to see these young girls with tore up heads of short hair. A lot of them either have perms that are not being taken care of properly or braids that are so tight its tearing their edges out.
In my kindergarten class alone, at least 5 of them had perms and hardly any hair . So whenever I did wear my hair out, I would always be asked by some child or teacher (black and white) if my hair was real. I guess because they were not used to seeing a black woman with a head of healthy hair and it not being a weave.

 

[PinkSkates]

Originally posted by terrifnl
This is also true among our children. I am an elementary teacher and I usually wear my hair in a ponytail or clipped up. One day I decided to wear my hair out after getting a touchup. As I'm walking down the hall, two 5th grade girls walk past and one whispers (not too quietly) to the other, "I almost thought that was her real hair." I was like erplexed. When I told her that it was my real hair, her mouth just dropped open. My hair isn't even that long. It's a little between SL and APL. But unfortunately where I teach it's not uncommon to see these young girls with tore up heads of short hair. A lot of them either have perms that are not being taken care of properly or braids that are so tight its tearing their edges out.
In my kindergarten class alone, at least 5 of them had perms and hardly any hair . So whenever I did wear my hair out, I would always be asked by some child or teacher (black and white) if my hair was real. I guess because they were not used to seeing a black woman with a head of healthy hair and it not being a weave.

The bold , red words make me so damn angry!

 

[4evaRays]

The bold , red words make me so damn angry!

Girl, it did make me angry. So many times I would be tempted to bring in some type of moisturizer and oil for their dry, broken off hair, but I had to remain "professional". I did not want to get cussed out or sued by any parents.

 

[PinkSkates]

Originally posted by terrifnl
Girl, it did make me angry. So many times I would be tempted to bring in some type of moisturizer and oil for their dry, broken off hair, but I had to remain "professional". I did not want to get cussed out or sued by any parents.

I know how you feel. And I'm not judging any moms who feel the need to put harsh chemicals on a child's still-developing hair follicles...
but if you are going to make such a decision at least educate yourself and learn how to properly take care of the child's tender scalp and hair!

 

[Miss*Tress]

I agree that it unusual for black women to have long hair.

On another note, I agree with almond eyes about our numerous other beauty traits.

Dear Ladies,

I am West African and long hair is not prized in the society though now with all of the Western images from the music videos, there is pressure for African women to have long hair. It's not offensive if someone says that most black women have short hair, though I understand I myself hate generalisations and it is the way that someone says something that makes a difference. So what if we have short hair, we have beautiful skin tones and features and we don't age quickly. I guess the issue of hair is such a sensitive issue for black women in the States and we have to prove that we are still pretty or feminine to other races. However, I have to say that while we black women are to a degree obsessed about our hair, white women talk about their weight issues constantly and they are also obsessed with hair colouring which I often bring to their attention.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[lilsparkle825]

Well, it is unusual, statistically speaking, isn't it? Can't be offended by that. Whether it's actually possible for black women to grow long hair is distinct from that.

i agree.

I will never understand why people think the way they do about this subject. Especially bald head black women. I know plenty of women who dont have any hair and are quick to tell me what I need to do with mine.

this reminds me of the other day...my mom, my 13 yo sis and i are all transitioning. i was putting yarn twists in my sister's hair the other day and i asked my cousin to help with the cornrows in the front cause i cant braid for ish. she told me i was having difficulty "cause the child needs a relaxer! she ain't got that good hair like you and your mama!" (my sis is a 4b; mom and i are 3c/4a.) she KNOWS i hate the good/bad hair argument with a passion. meanwhile our hair is thriving and her hair is breaking off by the handful. she has been ear length for 2 years, i am on my way to APL.

ETA: "Long hair" that I reference is BSL or longer. I know plenty of sistas (including myself) with SL to APL hair. Seems to be longer lengths that I don't see often.

no, SL was long to me before joining LHCF and when i am off the board looking around it still is. i can count all the people i have personally known with APL to BSL hair on one hand.

Whats funny is its very simple to grow you hair long the question is are you willing to do it. I wasn't when i was told about it, it seem to silly. Wash your hair every three days then what blow it out and heat it up again that seems to much of a stretch for me. Deep condition whats wrong with the regular conditioner I don't have time for that. So many things I could have done that I didn't believe would work.

this is my cousin's problem; she has endured botched dye jobs, bad at-home relaxers and glue in tracks and when i make simple suggestions, like upgrading to a different relaxer or trying weekly DCs to get past ear length, she scoffs and tells me her hair is fine.

sadly, my mom started transitioning before me and my hair is thriving while hers isn't; i joined LHCF during the semester and by the time i came home my hair was thriving. while i was gone she did several uneven mini-chops and only put water OR moisturizer on her hair when she went to the dominicans, which was like once a month. but it's ok; i'm home now and DCing her hair every week, trying to pass on what i've learned and get rid of the laziness.

 

[FlowerHair]

Even though we know it's possible to have long hair, we can't really say it's common.

What is common however, are wigs and weaves and we can't judge other people for believing that we need false hair when it's so popular...

Many black people don't even believe they can grow their hair to BSL or WL. But we can

 

[oooop2]

Even though we know it's possible to have long hair, we can't really say it's common.

What is common however, are wigs and weaves and we can't judge other people for believing that we need false hair when it's so popular...

Many black people don't even believe they can grow their hair to BSL or WL. But we can

I totally agree..And to be fair, I often read post on the hair boards about ladies wearing wigs/weaves to hide their hair in an effort to make it grow.....People don't know that you may actually have long hair underneath. All they know is that what's on your head is a wig/weave...

 

[bravenewgirl87]

Here are some interesting comments from white women about wearing wigs.
http://bellasugar.com/1683397?page=0#comment-3393426
All I can say is white women are weird.erplexed

 

[AidaCristina]

Ok so this is my first time posting(I am here at work checkin all these beautiful threads by all you beautiful ladies. I just went tru the 31 pages of the 'post your favorite hair pic' W-O-W is all i can say!) I am Aida, 19 years old and I live in The Netherlands. I have been transisitioning for about 8 months now and hairboards are the best thing that could happen to me! Loving the vibe here and positivity because we all know not EVERY board has that-wont be mentioning any names but yall Know whats up(LOL)

ANYWAYS,so I saw this thread and I just HAD to log in and finally post my first post because a couple of days ago I was reading another forum(LMAO..I have no life huh) although that wasnt a hairforum,it was just a random dutch forum. So somebody opened a thread about white people who have black or biracial (adopted) kids and their nappy hair and the white folks not knowing how to deal with their hair.
I read some comments from Black people which made me actually go kinda crazy behind my screen,I just wanted to go and register just to respond to it but I had to calm the *** down.
They said that Nappy/curly/coily/'black' hair DOESNT LIKE WATER because WATER MAKES BLACK HAIR DRY and Crunchy and the best product for black hair is GREASE. -blank stare-..then some white people were like: oh yeah? I didnt know that,that doesnt make sense.. I wanted to go and say something sooo bad:YO GO WHITE GIRL!! Of course it doesn't make sense.UGH Ignorance. And to be honest,this is what my mom,grandma,aunties..everybody been telling me my whole life too and this is how I end up with a head full of straw-ish dry dull crappy relaxed hair. WE GOTTA DO BETTER MY PEOPLE. We just need to spread more knowledge and thats why I loveeeeeeeee these kinda boards
[/ok end venting-mode] *SIGH*

 

[bravenewgirl87]

Here's another link:
http://bellasugar.com/505289
Ignore the doo-doo head dummy who had to bring black women into the mix with his B.A.P. comment.

 

[Tamrin]

No, I would not have been offended; would've done what you did...given her a bit of education. Co-worker with breaking hair, scarce hairline-now she says she pulls it and it comes off in her hands!.. I gave her a hair book last year, told her a few products to use. I gave her the ORS product pamphlet along with some ORS samples I received with an order this week.
Told her she needs some moisture..did she listen or use them? No..came in today with some grease in her hair....I talk to her..she thinks I do not know better than her stylist who is not helping her problem at all.

Why do we think grease is the answer?

I don't get it. I have given up on helping with hair. Its not my business. People get offended and act a fool when all you are doing is help them. i know its bad to say but now even if their head is on fire.. They will get nothing from me. You want that tight weave?... You go girl it looks good. You wanna slap on that petroleum jelly on your head?.... You go girl and look at that sheen. People are not willing to open their minds and learn about hair care cause its not important.

 

[Mook's hair]

I have found my understanding of why many people of all races hold this thought.
The wording needs to be adjusted for it to actually compute correctly. It's more about long hair that looks long and not about growth at all. The Shrinkage is the Key.

Many other races with type 1 & type 2 hair have hair that grows downward. & straight... No shrinkage. As it grows and it looks long.

For many of African Dissent Especially those with type 4 hair the hair grows Up and sometimes out. Defying gravity. And causes the view that Blacks can't grow long hair. Because unless you relax it or use some method of straightening it. It won't appear long. I've seen many photos where naturally curly hair appears shoulder or chin length but after flat ironing. It is BSL.

Also think about many who have Afros. Who would really know that the compacted coily mass of hair is probably at least shoulder length if not longer.

And then because our hair needs moisture BUT heat and relaxers rob it of that moisture. We run smack into the problem of length retention.

Don't slap me but... I don't think it is unreasonable for people to question whether black women can Grow their hair long. They just have to be shown different and schooled on why it is possible.

 

[bravenewgirl87]

I have found my understanding of why many people of all races hold this thought.
The wording needs to be adjusted for it to actually compute correctly. It's more about long hair that looks long and not about growth at all. The Shrinkage is the Key.

Many other races with type 1 & type 2 hair have hair that grows downward. & straight... No shrinkage. As it grows and it looks long.

For many of African Dissent Especially those with type 4 hair the hair grows Up and sometimes out. Defying gravity. And causes the view that Blacks can't grow long hair. Because unless you relax it or use some method of straightening it. It won't appear long. I've seen many photos where naturally curly hair appears shoulder or chin length but after flat ironing. It is BSL.

Also think about many who have Afros. Who would really know that the compacted coily mass of hair is probably at least shoulder length if not longer.

And then because our hair needs moisture BUT heat and relaxers rob it of that moisture. We run smack into the problem of length retention.

Don't slap me but... I don't think it is unreasonable for people to question whether black women can Grow their hair long. They just have to be shown different and schooled on why it is possible.

I agree with your comments about our hair being tightly coiled. People are often pretty shocked when they see me straighten my hair (although its not crazy long, about SL but EXTREMELY thick). I know my BF would be surprised if I were to straighten my hair right now. I'm waiting until I get one full inch of NG.... so probably for the 4th of July I'm going to stunt on 'em.

 

[Bunny77]

Ok so this is my first time posting(I am here at work checkin all these beautiful threads by all you beautiful ladies. I just went tru the 31 pages of the 'post your favorite hair pic' W-O-W is all i can say!) I am Aida, 19 years old and I live in The Netherlands. I have been transisitioning for about 8 months now and hairboards are the best thing that could happen to me! Loving the vibe here and positivity because we all know not EVERY board has that-wont be mentioning any names but yall Know whats up(LOL)

ANYWAYS,so I saw this thread and I just HAD to log in and finally post my first post because a couple of days ago I was reading another forum(LMAO..I have no life huh) although that wasnt a hairforum,it was just a random dutch forum. So somebody opened a thread about white people who have black or biracial (adopted) kids and their nappy hair and the white folks not knowing how to deal with their hair.
I read some comments from Black people which made me actually go kinda crazy behind my screen,I just wanted to go and register just to respond to it but I had to calm the *** down.
They said that Nappy/curly/coily/'black' hair DOESNT LIKE WATER because WATER MAKES BLACK HAIR DRY and Crunchy and the best product for black hair is GREASE. -blank stare-..then some white people were like: oh yeah? I didnt know that,that doesnt make sense.. I wanted to go and say something sooo bad:YO GO WHITE GIRL!! Of course it doesn't make sense.UGH Ignorance. And to be honest,this is what my mom,grandma,aunties..everybody been telling me my whole life too and this is how I end up with a head full of straw-ish dry dull crappy relaxed hair. WE GOTTA DO BETTER MY PEOPLE. We just need to spread more knowledge and thats why I loveeeeeeeee these kinda boards
[/ok end venting-mode] *SIGH*

Welcome to the board!

Were you born and raised in the Netherlands? It's great to meet people around the world!

 

[AidaCristina]

Welcome to the board!

Were you born and raised in the Netherlands? It's great to meet people around the world!

Thank you miss Bunny

No i am from Cape Vert/Cabo Verde/Capeverdean Islands and I was born there and moved to the Netherlands when I was about 2 years old. I'm not sure if you ever heard about CV though,its an island group in west africa and its a former colony of Portugal

 

[gmw]

Unfortunately, I think this is a common place idea not just among black people, but people in general.

True story: I'd just gotten my hair straightened and I headed to the BSS to find a wide tooth comb. As I stood in the store, comb in hand, the asian worker walked up behind me and asked "is that all your hair" I replied "yes, it is my natural hair" still in disbelief, she added "There's no weave in there at all?" I replied to her, as I parted my hair down the center to reveal the lack of tracks, "Nope, not at all." She was pretty impressed and went on with this speech about how most black women use weave and that she didn't mean to offend me. I wasn't offended, just curious as to why this was the normal reaction to a black woman with long hair.

That is pretty typical. I have a BSS I go to here in Philly. The Asian man who sees me has been watching me and my purchases. One day I was in there and he said to me, "You have so much hair! If all people have hair lika yours, I have no customers!" He was cheesing and laughing.... Everytime he sees me, he says the same thing and will add from time to time, "Your hair grow! Glad not everybody like you. I would be out of business."

I just look at him, and smile in agreement.

I got to tell you though, that I get more of these simple comments from my own people, actual people in my family. What to do Educate when asked I guess....