people that dont take care of their hair but are always critical of yours.

[howyoudoin]

Do any of you know of someone like that? Theres this chick at my job, she is so annoying. This woman is always trying to get me to let her cut my hair into a style and let her " hook me up" as she puts it. She rocks a rollerset and flats irons every day too. sooo... her hair has been neck length since ive know her. In her eyes , hair that isn't swinging and permed to death isnt "done". She makes snotty remarks about me if i wear bantu knot outs or box braids or anything thats not eurocentric . When she first met me she was like "you have nice hair what are you? " When i replied that im of jamaican decent she was like "your lucky because most black chicks have short, picky, nappy hair or its just really damaged looking"!, mind you , shes half black, half hispanic. I have told her about this website and i told what i do to maintain healthy hair but she is not interested in trying anything new. I wish more black women would stop thinking that damaged short hair is all they can ever have, if more of us would just put a little effort into our regimen we would look and feel a lot better about our hair.

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

I have found that people with the worst looking hair are the biggest critics. When I went natural, I was constantly getting "advice" from some of them.

 

[MsChelle]

Yep, I know tons of people like that. I wear a wet bun 90% of the time when the weather is warm enough. I get some many comments about "why didn't I do my hair" or "did you wake up late and run out of time".....Then when I do blow this stuff out and they see my length they shut right up.

 

[DrC]

LOL!! There is ALWAYS someone out there with a horrble head of hair that will refuse to take any hair advice, but hey whatever. Its not your head. Tell her to worry about her neck length hair and that you are not interested in her doing anything to your hair...or that you don't want your hair to look like hers.
Or just tell her to F*** Off..... just kidding..... a little.

 

[howyoudoin]

so funny and so true!

 

[LushLox]

Whenever I'm deep in a stretch I bun continuously. It's at these times I'll hear, "why don't you relax more regularly" all the while looking critically at my re-growth. That's fine you can just worry about your own hair and I'll focus on mine.

 

[AlliCat]

I rarely ever get "hair advice" from people with damaged hair..I wish they would give me advice though so I know what not to do

 

[Loveygram]

Maybe if you get her to understand that just like she likes her hair that way, you love yours just the way it is, otherwise you wouldn't be wearing this way.

Sometimes people are just being... but sometimes people think because your hair is not styled the way they're accustomed to doing it, you don't know what you're doing. and that goes for whatever the popular styling for the area might be.

Blessings

 

[luvbighair]

the title of this thread is hilarious.

 

[howyoudoin]

it is funny but so freaking annoying when people act like that, sometimes i just want to tell her about herself but i don want be accused of thinking "im all that". I did give her gift certificate to sally's for our secret santa at work though, hopefully she bought something good for her hair.

 

[Hairsnob]

I know somebody like that who keeps trying to tell me to dye my hair something lighter other than black. I'm like ummmmm, I wish I WOULD put a permanent dye in my hair and risk a setback. She tries and tries and says oh, for the springtime it's nice to go lighter. Yes, it is but I don't care. Meanwhile, hers is dyed and fried.

 

[cheryl26]

uhhh i hate things like that. my mom has bleached her hair for the last 10 yrs and used to comment on me flat ironing mine every few weeks. oh you're just messing your hair up, you flat ironed again? nag nag nag hush you look like the trailer park queen with your haystack! (said that in my mind, didn't wanna get smacked in the face)

 

[simplybeauty]

That is nothing!! I'm stretching my relaxer, currently 11 weeks post, and this lady that works with me on campus secretly tried to compete with me to see who can last the longest. She gave up and relaxed at 9 weeks, now she keeps telling me how i need to just relax my hair and then had the nerve to just tell me I need to do a virgin relaxer on my hair since I'm going so long!! IDIOT!!!

 

[howyoudoin]

i swear that some of these people secretly hope that you follow their "advice" and mess up your hair so they can feel better.

 

[Forever in Bloom]

Nope, but I used to be one. My older sister's hair has always been BSL-MBL. I would tell her, "Angie, you should do this. You should do that. You have all this hair and you never style it"

She would just look at me while arching her eyebrow, but never said anything about the lack of care I was giving my hair. Meanwhile my hair always looked chewed up and see through. Talk about the pot calling the kettle...

Now that I've learned better, she trusts me with the caring and styling of my 2 nieces hair, but also accepts tips and products that I give her <- yeah, I give them 'cause she won't buy until she tries.

I am on my way to BSL for the first time ever, and it all started by me looking in the mirror and accepting the fact that my methods weren't doing anything for my hair. So how could I try dishing them out to anyone else?

Your co-worker will eventually see the light. If not, let your hair do all the talking.

 

[TokyoReina]

There are plenty of raggedy headed chicks giving out advice in my town. Misery loves company.

 

[SpicyPisces]

I get this a lot and I just go . I find it funny how people who've never had long hair try to give me advice on how to take care of long hair or grow long hair. I just nod, KIM and keep doing what I'm doing because it works for me.

 

[Roux]

yes! she is convinced that dirt makes your hair grow despite her only going from NL to almost SL in two years.

 

[BraunSugar]

That is nothing!! I'm stretching my relaxer, currently 11 weeks post, and this lady that works with me on campus secretly tried to compete with me to see who can last the longest. She gave up and relaxed at 9 weeks, now she keeps telling me how i need to just relax my hair and then had the nerve to just tell me I need to do a virgin relaxer on my hair since I'm going so long!! IDIOT!!!

Yeah, because your relaxed hair will magically unrelax itself if you don't touch up every month I think she just wants you to damage your hair !

I remember when I relaxed there was a point where I used to swim, & this girl in my class would tell me that the pool water was stripping the relaxer out of my hair. She told me I needed to use neutralizing shampoo & NO CONDITIONER to maintain my hair. Mind you, she had about 4 inches of broken off hair that she was trying to force into a mid ponytail. Girl, bye!

 

[DrC]

I know somebody like that who keeps trying to tell me to dye my hair something lighter other than black. I'm like ummmmm, I wish I WOULD put a permanent dye in my hair and risk a setback. She tries and tries and says oh, for the springtime it's nice to go lighter. Yes, it is but I don't care. Meanwhile, hers is dyed and fried.

and laid to the side!!!...I just wanted to add that in....

 

[twatombl]

I always come across people that are caught up in the length of their hair and not the health of it. My cousin and I have hair the same length, her ends are thin and could afford at least an inch and a half or more trimmed. She always makes comments about my trying out products because she doesn't spend as much as do and our hair is the same length (Silk Elements Products) and because I spend time detangling/twisting/ect. What she doesn't recognize is that my hair is full and my ends in excellent condition, all from the care and products that I use. Her hair is limp and lifeless yet she has length, so she feels I'm wasting my time. She even attributes it to heredity because my Mom has thick hair and her Mom's hair is thin!

 

[howyoudoin]

double post sorry!

 

[ManeStreet]

This thread is the story of my life. Once a woman I know commented on my braidout by saying "That hair style makes you look like Medusa". Mind you, she had a jerry curl at the time that was broken off up to neck and if you were standing down wind or up wind from her, u could smell that jheri curl juice from a mile away.

 

[howyoudoin]

ive been there too but i was never one to give out advice , i just didn't know what i was doing. i discovered proper haircare on accident, when i was about 25 i didnt perm my hair for a whole summer, i just washed,conditioned,moisturized, and put it in a ponytail out of pure laziness since it so hot and muggy that summer. When i did relax, i noticed a difference in the quality of my hair, before that i always had to have it flati roned, even if that meant frying the crap out of it. I never did treatments, and used tons of gel and hairspray etc. The only time ever retained length was when i was braided up , but as soon i took the braids out, i started with the flatiron again and broke my hair again! It took a while took me while to get it through my skull that myhair is fragile and could not take the amount heat and chemicals that i was putting on it, over the years i have been reading up on black hair care as well as asking questions from people like you gals on the lhcf and i have learned a lot.

 

[bajandoc86]

I am admittedly a newbie when it comes to the healthy hair journey, as in only commenced 1 month ago- newbie :s. BUT I have been lurking and reading, wondering and pondering about growing long HEALTHY hair on lhcf for months now.
So iwhen I took down my last set of braids (with extensions) I started officially. Cowashing 1x week, wash and DC once a week, mouisturing and sealing, protective styling etc. Tried my first braid out which to ME actually looked quite cute. Since then this lady at work has been CONSTANTLY commenting on how my hairstyle is not appropriate for someone of my profession (I'm a doc). Apparently my hair needs to be relaxed within a inch of its life (like hers) and slicked down on my head to be seen as 'tidy and neat'. Imagine when she learnt I was washing it twice a week...the 'horror'!!! I'm going to dry out my hair....blah blah blah.

Now its back in braids, and I am still keeping up with my reggie, so now I am being told how the braids will slip off my hair. I should have gone to her salon to get them done so the braids wud be done nice and TIGHT....emphasis on the word tight.
I have to resist every urge to tell her (whose constantly complaining about her hair not growing) to just shove it and let me be. I am trying to do what's best for MY hair, end of discussion.

 

[kim1006]

it is funny but so freaking annoying when people act like that, sometimes i just want to tell her about herself but i don want be accused of thinking "im all that". I did give her gift certificate to sally's for our secret santa at work though, hopefully she bought something good for her hair.

Why didn't you give her a gift certificate to a good hair stylist? She may have gotten the message LOUD AND CARE, and with better looking hair.

 

[howyoudoin]

there was a 20 dollar limit on our secret santa but that would have been a great idea.

 

[NikkiQ]

there was a 20 dollar limit on our secret santa but that would have been a great idea.

Girl an appointment to Aveda will be in your price range. She sounds like she needs all the help she can get

 

[howyoudoin]

yeah... but shes kinda delusional when it comes her hair, i used to be too , maybe she will have a hair "epiphany" one day.

 

[Carmelella]

I use to hear that all the time,.. and unfortunately.. i gave in! When i would stretch everyone would comment that it was time for a perm, time for a this or that. And then all my progress was lost as the stupid beautician would smooth the perm ALL OVER my hair even after i explained that the ends were already relaxed... just air dried and frizzy!