White guy at a party tells me that I need to straighten my hair

[HollyGolightly]

Delete

 

[Thiends]

He is arrogant and foolish. Now, you know not to entertain discussions with him on anything except the weather. Good for your boyfriend for standing up for you. By the way, your weaves are nice!

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

There will always be idiots, dont waste your time or energy on him or anyone else that tells you you need to change to fit their notion of beautiful.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

HOw are you going to reason with a drunk guy or let him anger you? I understand his opinion is silly but I guess he's entitled to it like everyone else in the world.

I think your hair pics are cute either way btw...keep on being you and brush him off!

 

[nikolite]

I second BMP. It's a piss-off, but remember how many people are just plain ignorant. There are enough black people who think black women NEED to straighten to be hot, so I wouldn't be surprised that a white guy thinks the same. (Although, I'm normally used to seeing white guys prefer black women with natural hair).

It'll take some time before natural hair is fully excepted. But for now, focus on those who do love your hair (your boyfriend) because that's really all that matters.

 

[hannan]

I would have gone Mama Africa and embarrassed the heck outta him but ignoring him would have been the best thing to do. People like that are not worth the time, plus he sounded super drunk.

 

[southerngirl1994]

I have had people tell me they liked my hair this way or that (of another race), but I have just had to shrug it off, i'm not changing it and it hasn't stopped me from growing in my career so screw them all, they don't matter in your life anyway.

 

[Lynnerie]

He's not even your man so clearly the alcohol was talking. I wouldn't even have been upset because his opinion doesn't matter.

 

[Triniwegian]

He is jealous because his buddy has a hot girlfriend. Screw him.

 

[NIN4eva]

Screw that guy. That happened to me at a party once, and this was supposed to be a good "friend" of mine (a white guy for those interested). He actually brought a fine-haired blond girl next to me a tried to compare her hair to mine by running his finger through it in front of everyone! Well, after giving him a piece of my mind, also in front of everyone, I ended that so-called friendship. And this is a person I talked to at least once per day for years. I saw him while I was walking down the street in crappy weather a year or so ago and he offered me a ride. I was like, "Um, no I'd rather walk". Also known as, "I can't even stand to be near you, you still make me sick." If I'm at a party that we're both invited to he won't even show up. lol...d***

 

[brittanynic16]

I'm confused. You're wearing a weave, right? You've worn straight weave and are wearing a weave that is a different texture than your hair. But, you're upset that he didn't prefer the weave that was not your hair texture? Just asking...

If the 2nd picture is the picture he saw then if I was a man I would prefer it too. You're in a swimsuit in a sexy pose. He may have seen that and expected something different. He was drunk anyway.

 

[Chocolatelove2010]

I'm confused. You're wearing a weave, right? You've worn straight weave and are wearing a weave that is a different texture than your hair. But, you're upset that he didn't prefer the weave that was not your hair texture? Just asking...

If the 2nd picture is the picture he saw then if I was a man I would prefer it too. You're in a swimsuit in a sexy pose. He may have seen that and expected something different. He was drunk anyway.

My exact thoughts.

The drunk guy was just giving you his opinion of which weave he liked better on you. He probs thought when you wear your straight hair, it comes with a swim suit. Guys can be pretty dumb.

Anyway you shouldn't be offended.

I could understand your story, and sympathise more if he offended your natural naps and told you, you should wear weave. That would be sick. Anyhuu drunk people are silly, who takes them seriously.

 

[dlove]

I have midback length natural hair, but lately I've been wearing a big, curly weave to cut down on maintenance. Last night at my boyfriend's bday party, one of his drunk friends started telling me that I need to straighten my hair. He saw pics on my facebook from when I used to wear straight weaves and he felt the need to tell me that I was "so much hotter with straight hair." I tried to explain to him that it damages my hair and takes hours for me to straighten it, but he wouldn't listen. He was like, "I don't care if you have to fry it, throw some chemicals on it, or whatever. You need to go back to that." I started getting pissed but my boyfriend interrupted. He told his friend that he loved my real hair and that it would be silly for me to waste time trying to fit a white standard of beauty.

I'm still pretty pissed. I'm not a natural nazi, but I love my own naps. I think it's really f*cked up that a white guy tried to tell me that I need to erase my most distinctive ethnic feature. How would he feel if I told him that he needed to fix his pale skin or soften up his pointy nose?

My current weave, 16 inch Bohyme Brazilian wave


@ bolded: I LOVE THE WAY YOU STATED THIS. WILL BE USING THIS SOON...

 

[*CherryPie*]

Stop listening to drunk white guys. Better yet, stop listening to all drunk people.

 

[arosieworld]

I wouldn't have thought it was a big deal. That white guy probably doesn't even realize what he is asking and how it could possibly offend you.
1. White
2. Guy
3. Drunk
that list equals a person who doesn't get it. He just thought you looked hot one way and was drunk enough to tell you. If he had said I saw some pictures of you in Red and you need to wear it everyday it would not offend you and to him it is the same thing.

 

[theAlist]

I don't really have anything else to add to the thread...I just want to tell you that that Bohyme looks FABULOUS!

 

[imaccami]

A pet peeve of mine is when people think they have an obligation to educate the world no matter what. There was no need to try to earnestly explain why you avoid straightening your hair to a drunk guy at a party who could not care less. He wasn't coming from a place of being genuinely curious about why you don't wear your hair straight, he was a drunk guy at a party acting drunk.

It would be like a homeless guy coming up to you and saying that you should wear high heels cuz women are so much hotter in heels, and you stopping and explaining that you don't wear heels because they cause alignment issues and you're worried about getting arthritis in your ankles and on and on.

There's a time and place for everything. You have to take the context and the intent of the comment into consideration. Drunk guys at a party don't deserve or need the honest explanation. A flippant remark like that deserves a flippant response. You could've said something like, "I'm hot at all moments, my hotness can't be stopped." or "You were so much hotter sober/ You would be so much hotter 5 inches taller." or "You mean you don't like my hair? I'm devastated." Anything like that would be an appropriate response to a drunk guy at a party.

 

[HollyGolightly]

Yeah, but this guy has seen me wearing my natural hair too. He didn't know that the big curly hair and the straight hair were both fake because when I press out my real hair, it looks just like the curly weave.

The white guy kept asking how long it takes to straighten my hair and insisted that I go back to the silky straight hair. When I told him that the heat and chemicals damage my hair he kept insisting that I needed to either do that or spend hours straightening it. He even said, "Start straightening it now if you have to so that you can look good tomorrow."

When my boyfriend took up for me he called his friend an idiot and told him that the silky hair AND the looser curly hair that I was wearing were both fake and that he prefered my real hair.

Half of my real hair reverting from a press

 

[nikksmom]

Why would you care what he thinks? Why would you feel the need to justify and explain your anything to him or anyone else for that matter? I understand that we all like compliments and hate to be minimalized but you have to understand that he did what white media has been doing to minority folks for centuries;mininmalizing black and other races to make them feel superior (whether he did so intentionally or not). But realize, that he said you would be "hotter" if your hair was straight, which means he thinks you're hot anyway. If your boyfriend wasn't there more than likely with all his tired/drunk comments he would have hit on you, or maybe that is what he was trying to do anyway.

 

[lolascurls]

Hon, dumb white guy! Ignore him! And your real hair ^^^ Is so nice :wow:

 

[keelioness]

Girl that bikini pic is hot !thats all men see. As long as ur man is happy who cares. I dunno I think as u get older u learn to laugh alot of these things off.. That Bohyme weave is very pretty..looks like ur hair!
Every single person (drunk or sober) does not have to like ur hair..long as u like it!

 

[Tiye]

Well you said he was drinking. It isn't the first time a drunk person made inappropriate comments at a party and it won't be the last so no point in getting upset about it.

 

[Goombay_Summer]

I wouldn't give much credence to his drunken ramblings unless he's the one paying for your various weaves.

 

[Chocolatelove2010]

Well, I'm completely sober and I'd tell you I like the straightened hair better.

It's just preference.

I like your natural hair too, before Ya'll try and throw grenades at me.

Anyhuu people like different things. What matters most is what you like.

 

[DigitalRain]

You should have gave his drunk arse the finger and kept kicking.

 

[HollyGolightly]

Y'all are right, I shouldn't take drunk comments so seriously. When a white person says to me "You need to straighten your hair" I hear "Black hair isn't good enough, you need to look more white."

I was already touchy about the subject because of something that happened earlier at the party. An Ethiopian girl with neck length, heat damaged hair thought my hair was real and asked me how I grew it that long. I told hair that it was fake and that I grew out my real hair by being gentle, never using heat, and wearing it curly. She recoiled in horror at the thought of wearing her own natural curls. It was so sad. Her own hair was wispy and breaking off because she just had to have straight hair.

 

[Chocolatelove2010]

I was already touchy about the subject because of something that happened earlier at the party. An Ethiopian girl with neck length, heat damaged hair thought my hair was real and asked me how I grew it that long. I told hair that it was fake and that I grew out my real hair by being gentle, never using heat, and wearing it curly. She recoiled in horror at the thought of wearing her own natural curls. It was so sad. Her own hair was wispy and breaking off because she just had to have straight hair.

Many Ethiopians wear their natural hair. You could have said black girl, why so specific.

Anyhuu I don't think she was ''recoiled in horror'' at the thought of wearing her natural hair out, but still shocked your hair wasn't real.

I think you ''read'' too much into what people say.

Have a break, Have a KitKat.

 

[HollyGolightly]

I specified that she was Ethiopian so that people could picture what her hair looks like. It wasn't like my 4a hair, hers was more 3b or cish.

I know that she was recoiling in horror at the thought of wearing her own curls because she said so. She said that her curly hair was disgusting and that she could never go in public with it like that.

 

[growth2come]

You should have just told him to go sit quitely some place other than near you. I wouldnt even have entertained his ignorance. What I do do to my hair is my business and if you dont like it then just be glad its not your head I am touching. End of!

 

[Chocolatelove2010]

I specified that she was Ethiopian so that people could picture what her hair looks like. It wasn't like my 4a hair, hers was more 3b or cish.

I know that she was recoiling in horror at the thought of wearing her own curls because she said so. She said that her curly hair was disgusting and that she could never go in public with it like that.

Ow I see. My bad.

Anyway all your hairstyles look nice.

Keep doing you.