Okay, I am facing an uphill battle

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

folk touching my hair. At first I was cool with it because people are curious, but it's starting to get annoying. I just got into a toussle with a girl a few minutes ago trying to see my hair. I got it straightened, but it's in a high ponytail. Everyday someone's reaching out to touch my hair even if I pull back from them, they don't get the point. I am mainly talking about people who work with me, strangers don't do it. Now, I am wondering if I started something simply by being friendly to my co-workers by saying 'hello' because they take that as an invitation to touch.

What I started to doing was touching their hair. Like if they flip mine, I flip theirs. I thought they would get the point, but they don't.

I guess I am going to have to start working on my reflex skills and grabbing folks hands/arms because me moving away from them doesn't work.

I have considered making a little picket sign made of a small piece of paper and a toothpick and sticking it in the back of my head with 'DON'T TOUCH!' on it.

I have thought about weaving it up or keeping my hair in braids or something to where it's not easily accessible, but this is my dang head and I shouldn't have to go that far.

I am going to purchase that shirt in the banner with the lady kicking the other chick about touching her hair I just can't wear the same shirt everyday, so I hope it comes in a variety of colors.

Ladies, I need some constructive assistance/ ideas on this thing. I really don't need comments saying how you'll slap someone for touching in your hair because some of you all would be in jail daily if you did this.

What do you all do?

 

[ms.blue]

I would pin the hair up at work and take it down after so no one will touch.

 

[PPGbubbles]

folk touching my hair. At first I was cool with it because people are curious, but it's starting to get annoying. I just got into a toussle with a girl a few minutes ago trying to see my hair. I got it straightened, but it's in a high ponytail. Everyday someone's reaching out to touch my hair even if I pull back from them, they don't get the point. I am mainly talking about people who work with me, strangers don't do it. Now, I am wondering if I started something simply by being friendly to my co-workers by saying 'hello' because they take that as an invitation to touch.

What I started to doing was touching their hair. Like if they flip mine, I flip theirs. I thought they would get the point, but they don't.

I guess I am going to have to start working on my reflex skills and grabbing folks hands/arms because me moving away from them doesn't work.

I have considered making a little picket sign made of a small piece of paper and a toothpick and sticking it in the back of my head with 'DON'T TOUCH!' on it.

I have thought about weaving it up or keeping my hair in braids or something to where it's not easily accessible, but this is my dang head and I shouldn't have to go that far.

I am going to purchase that shirt in the banner with the lady kicking the other chick about touching her hair I just can't wear the same shirt everyday, so I hope it comes in a variety of colors.

Ladies, I need some constructive assistance/ ideas on this thing. I really don't need comments saying how you'll slap someone for touching in your hair because some of you all would be in jail daily if you did this.

What do you all do?

So im assumming your co-workers are YT @ the bolded... I think they saw that as an invitation...

growing up my YT friends never saw it as taboo to touch hair, they touch each others all the time lol and My hair was always WAY more interesting

Perphaps you need to politely tell them how uncomfortable the touching makes you. Not just pull away.

 

[Ms.Christ3n]

I need some ideas on how to deal with this also. My hair is too short to put in a comfortable bun so I wear a wash and go everyday. Someone always touches my hair almost every other day. I don't want to come off as rude or snobby by saying "Don't touch my hair!" So I just let them do it.
It annoys the crap out of me though 'cause it's like "you're manipulating my curls! now I'm gonna have frizzy patch of hair today!"

 

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

So im assumming your co-workers are YT @ the bolded... I think they saw that as an invitation...

growing up my YT friends never saw it as taboo to touch hair, they touch each others all the time lol and My hair was always WAY more interesting

Perphaps you need to politely tell them how uncomfortable the touching makes you. Not just pull away.

White folk don't touch it... it's the black folk. I will try your suggestion about telling them to stop... I hope I will do it nicely though.
You all know how it feels when you've had enough and an unassuming person does what you dislike and you snap and hurt their feelings and you end up looking belligerent? That's my fear.

 

[Triniwegian]

WOW, people do that??
I must have the "Don't you dare put your nasty hands on me"-face because no one has ever attemptedt to even come close it it.
I wish they would though.

It's an easy way to handle it though, tell them straight up; "Don't touch me."

 

[NapfroConsulate]

This past Saturday I was waiting in this long line to get in this club. I was fro'd out and my hair was purfectly round and big. I was talking to my friends and SO and all of a sudden I feel someones hands in my hair and they toussled the back of my fro. I think I blacked out after that b/c everything slowed down. What I had heard from my friends later on was I turned into the incredible hulk and yelled at the woman that had her grubby paws in my hair.


Actually I didn't turn into the incredible hulk but I did yell at the lady. Do you know me? Do I even look friendly enough to do that to? Why would you touch my hair I don't know where your hands have been! What is wrong with you?

The girl sort of shrank back and disappeared into the back of the line. My friends thought it was funny. Once I got clear headed I felt a little bad. But not bad enough to apologize.

But to answer your question. When its in a more professional setting I would tell them that believe it or not it takes some effort to style my hair and its bothersome to have it messed up with the touching.

 

[melissa-bee]

You can give your hair to me. And then when i'am done (or if we swap it would be you) transitioning we can swap back again. Cheer up!

 

[BostonMaria]

Wow the nerve of some people. I hate it when people touch my hair now.
My granddaughter said to me the other day "Ma, no touchie my hair" ahahahaha

I think you should just tell them the truth "touch my hair and lose a finger"
Carry a bag of quarters with you

 

[djkforeal]

I don't see what is wrong with saying that you would bat their hand away or something like that to defend your mane, it could be a form of assault on you, so if you going to jail then they goin' too.Anyway, just speak up... I know you don't want to appear snobby or mean but I'm sure you don't even touch your own hair that much because it's not good to do that when you are trying to retain length and grow long hair. So maybe you could educate them on how they could have hair just like yours, then give them a few techniques and tell them to check us (LHCF'ers) out!

 

[**SaSSy**]

At work I hardly wear my hair down, I live in my bun, up-do, or baggie bun at work. When I do wear my hair down it's mostly in a braid-out, or flexi-set. I might wear my hair straight to work once every 2 months. It's a little strange at my job, I would get compliments, and some jealous stares, and a few "Why you don't wear your hair out more" comments, but I have only 4 more months to go until I stop wearing my baggie bun so I'm putting a dead ear until then.

 

[likewtr4chklit]

In all seriousness why can't you just tell them not to touch you or your hair??? My personal space isn't something I take lightly. Sometimes a severe side eye will work but other times you really just have to say...."please don't touch my hair, ever"

eta: If you are uncomfortable saying it that way you could use a more playful yet stern approach " uh uh girl, I put way too much work into my hair for folks to be touching it" or "I might have to chop your fingers off for that next time" or "I have OCD tendencies, when people touch my hair I wanna spaz out"

 

[mariofmagdal]

Sorry you have to deal with this. I keep my hair bunned, no invites.

 

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

In all seriousness why can't you just tell them not to touch you or your hair??? My personal space isn't something I take lightly. Sometimes a severe side eye will work but other times you really just have to say...."please don't touch my hair, ever"

eta: If you are uncomfortable saying it that way you could use a more playful yet stern approach " uh uh girl, I put way too much work into my hair for folks to be touching it" or "I might have to chop your fingers off for that next time" or "I have OCD tendencies, when people touch my hair I wanna spaz out"

Because sometimes it's touched before I can tell them not to touch it.

 

[Sunshine_One]

Girl, If it were me (sometimes it is) each time someone touched my hair without my permission..ie work folks...I would nicely tell them "please don't touch my hair, I put in a lot of work caring for and styling my hair and prefer not to have it touched" Thank you! This way the word will get around that you don't like folks invading your personal space.

HTH

 

[Rocky91]

Girl, If it were me (sometimes it is) each time someone touched my hair without my permission..ie work folks...I would nicely tell them "please don't touch my hair, I put in a lot of work caring for and styling my hair and prefer not to have it touched" Thank you! This way the word will get around that you don't like folks invading your personal space.

HTH

i like this, it's polite, ladylike, and simple.

bubblin, i would say something like the above.

 

[ladylibra_30]

This past Saturday I was waiting in this long line to get in this club. I was fro'd out and my hair was purfectly round and big. I was talking to my friends and SO and all of a sudden I feel someones hands in my hair and they toussled the back of my fro. I think I blacked out after that b/c everything slowed down. What I had heard from my friends later on was I turned into the incredible hulk and yelled at the woman that had her grubby paws in my hair.


Actually I didn't turn into the incredible hulk but I did yell at the lady. Do you know me? Do I even look friendly enough to do that to? Why would you touch my hair I don't know where your hands have been! What is wrong with you?

The girl sort of shrank back and disappeared into the back of the line. My friends thought it was funny. Once I got clear headed I felt a little bad. But not bad enough to apologize.

But to answer your question. When its in a more professional setting I would tell them that believe it or not it takes some effort to style my hair and its bothersome to have it messed up with the touching.

This was too funny! I was cracking up as I read it. I just had our Field Engineer, who works on dirty, dusty, inky equipment all day long, touch/play in my hair. I thought something was crawling in my hair until I turned around and saw him. I wish I could've karate chopped him .

I think people who keep having an issue with something (mine is strangers getting in my personal space which arms length. It drives me batty and I encounter it frequently - mostly in lines and I find myself screaming inside daily . I think it's a combination of me 'resisting' people in my personal space and living in Miami where the hispanic pop is large - it's a cultural thing for them to be soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
close to you! I actually had a hispanic man explain this to me after I finally told his wife to get away from me - every place I moved she moved too and no one was behind her. He said she meant no harm and that it's their culture. I told them that's fine but it ain't my culture! - SORRY FOR THE MINI BOOK) will continue to experience it - what you resist will persist, ugh!

 

[lovenharmony]

It only happened to me once when I did a rollerset...and it was an older black lady and I didn't want to come off as rude. Since then I've been bunning so no hair molestation sine then!

 

[Nonie]

BBS, maybe you should wear your hair in a bun or tucked away hairstyle from Monday to Thursday then on Casual Friday, wear it down in the way that seems to seduce them to want to touch but also wear this T-shirt.

 

[beans4reezy]

I still can't believe that folks think it's okay to touch people's hair. I hope you find a solution to this

 

[caribeandiva]

I can't wait to have pretty enough hair for folks to do that to me.

 

[1QTPie]

I say hide some razor blades (rusty ones) in your hair. That's what I would do. *heh heh*

 

[baddison]

Girrrlllll....YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!

 

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

I still can't believe that folks think it's okay to touch people's hair. I hope you find a solution to this

Well, guess what? It happened a third time on the job. I was talking and mind you all my hair is in this messy updo bun. I saw this girl come up and go 'ooohhhh.' My back was turned but when I saw her, I turned to face her and started backing away because I knew what was next after the ooooh. Well, I had this erplexed look because I was like 'okay thanks for admiring, now leave me alone.' The look and the moving away didn't register to her to not touch until I told her 'I don't like people touching my hair.' Yall wanna know what she said? 'Oh, I was wondering why you kept backing away erplexed ' She started complimenting it and I kinda felt bad for telling her don't touch, but oh well. I got over it and she will too

 

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

I say hide some razor blades (rusty ones) in your hair. That's what I would do. *heh heh*

I am seriously thinking about dousing Sta-Soft-Fro on my hair, let them touch it , and smirk at their reaction to all of the glycerin on their hands.

 

[Bnster]

Well, guess what? It happened a third time on the job. I was talking and mind you all my hair is in this messy updo bun. I saw this girl come up and go 'ooohhhh.' My back was turned but when I saw her, I turned to face her and started backing away because I knew what was next after the ooooh. Well, I had this erplexed look because I was like 'okay thanks for admiring, now leave me alone.' The look and the moving away didn't register to her to not touch until I told her 'I don't like people touching my hair.' Yall wanna know what she said? 'Oh, I was wondering why you kept backing away erplexed ' She started complimenting it and I kinda felt bad for telling her don't touch, but oh well. I got over it and she will too

Looks like you handled it good for you! Any others let them know if they are going to touch and you don't want them to.
Now if they took offence, oh well, you can't control their feelings. Do your work and everything will fall in place, with you being a happier person in your environment. HHJ

 

[Bnster]

Here is another scenario sometimes people touching your hair can be embarrassing. I remember one time in university a guy touched my hair and at that time I had Jeri curls in them and you know Jeri curls are wet. Oh my, embarrass. Then I found out he liked me or something so pulling on my pony tail he was horsing around, plus he was white so what would he know about Jeri curls. He sent me an email why my hair was wet, I did not reply. Well he never touched my hair after that.

Moral of the story, people should leave other people hair alone; you don't know what they put in it, they may just walk away with a little surprise, a little something extra. I don't have the Jeri curls anymore and most of the time my hair is moisturize but not greasy, but if it is greasy serve them right for putting their hands in my hair. Now here comes the evil laugh.... You can only smile.

 

[danigurl18]

i get that all the time and people either get their hands slapped or they get yelled at.. i won't let people just invade my private bubble without my persmission lol

 

[blessedandlucky]

I need some ideas on how to deal with this also. My hair is too short to put in a comfortable bun so I wear a wash and go everyday. Someone always touches my hair almost every other day. I don't want to come off as rude or snobby by saying "Don't touch my hair!" So I just let them do it.
It annoys the crap out of me though 'cause it's like "you're manipulating my curls! now I'm gonna have frizzy patch of hair today!"

it's not rude or snobby to tell someone not to touch your hair. it's an extension of you. if someone grabbed your butt or breast, it wouldn't be rude or snobby to speak up. it's the same thing. personal space, people, personal space!

 

[My Friend]

Although I can't wait until people DREAM of touching my hair, I too would find that irritating and upsetting

I posted a thread about people not washing their hands after using the bathroom (even #2) so I can only imagine what could be possible left behind in your beautiful strands .