long hair ladies & how u really feel about those stares?

[mahogany_horizons]

I'm usually clueless when people are staring at me - men or women. My daughter has long hair and I do notice when people give her dirty looks, which as a mom I don't appreciate. You know how catty teens are.

When I have my hair curly I sometimes will get that "is that a wig" look. I fluff it up or pull it to let them know, yes this is mine If I blow dry my hair and its freshly washed I sometimes get a "is that a weave" look. If its been a few days and it looks dry, eh I won't get that look. Again, I will twirl my hair or pull it to let them know its not a weave..

Why go through all that hassle? Because just this year alone I had a few people pull my hair! Yes I'm not lying! And had a few co-workers ask me if I was wearing a weave.

Boston Maria, I always thought your hair was gorgeous! How rude of people to pull your hair! I hate when people put their hands in my hair. I also dislike them giving your daughter dirty looks.

 

[JMH1908]

Before my BC in 2007, I was sporting my BSL hair in a big bun on the top of my head because it was during the summer and it was hot..I was at work in the bathroom fixing it because it decided to fall down because my hair was so heavy This white woman walks in the bathroom and stops in her tracks to ask me if all that hair was mine, I said yep! So since I had to take it out anyway, she sat there and watched me in amazement..unbelievable! I wanted to ask her didn't you have to go to the bathroom?

 

[LatterGlory]

___________________

______________

 

[JMH1908]

I am a " mind my own business" kind of person so I don't really notice stares save the occasional man turning his head.

My DH is usually my indicator that another man is staring he gets all "hands on" as if to say "eat your heart out fellas, she's mine".

I could care less if someone stares.

I know that's right..

 

[LatterGlory]

___________________

 

[JMH1908]

Yes, all the time

 

[Bene]

My hair is bunned whenever I'm outside of my home, so no one stares. In the past, I've heard women make comments about my hair "Oh, she's just showing off", or something along the lines that I'm trying to make them feel bad about their own hair, if I take my hair down to rearrange my bun. I don't really appreciate people making those assumptions about my intents, and I don't want some crazy woman attacking me and cutting my hair off to "put me in my place", so I keep it up where it's safe.

 

[JMH1908]

I hear ya Bene..these people out here are crazy nowadays..lol.

And its not so much of the stares that bothered me, its the ignorance behind it..

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

Yep! And I proceed to swing it, scratch the middle of my head, swing it some more and give a nice bright smile to my "admirers" alot of times strangers will walk up to me and ask me tips which is fun.

I love it when I notice it, when I dont notice it, my friends will be like damn didn't you see how that man nearly broke his neck!??! Or didn't you see that girl grillin you down and I'll be like mmmmnah I was talking to you lol

 

[jamaraa]

......................................

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

when i had long hair i never noticed any stares. i only was aware someone was curious about when they came and asked questions (which i would prefer to folks just standing there gawking... creepy!)​

 

[Bella_Atl]

lolol....see when its real u have nothing to worry about. Thats a great feeling to have. But when i have my clip on tracks in blended with my SL hair...and someone is staring me down looking for a track.....i find myself praying to the lawd jezzzuss dont let the wind blow....please wind dont blow lol

ROTFLMAO!!

 

[caribeandiva]

Are you sure that girl wasn't about to ask you out until she saw you had a man? ...

 

[caribeandiva]

... I gotta ask her who put that in!" I wish they would've. With a straight face, I would've said "God." SMH!

 

[empressri]

Last December when my hair was straight the SO and I went to Sally's on a run for me, what's new, and we thought the girl at the counter was going to KILL herself she was hanging on so hard, breaking her neck to look at my hair as we were coming in, along with 2 of her other coworkers. Don't know if they realized but we could HEAR AND SEE them asking each other, "Is that her hair??". I was surprised they didn't follow me around the store humping my leg they were looking so hard. It was funnnnnnny!

 

[Whimsy]

I don't mind the stares much, and I don't mind the questions that usually follow it. I think people are usually just genuinely curious, first if it's real, and once they see that it is, they're curious how to get their hair long as well. I'm glad to help.

What I don't like, and do mind, are the people who talk loudly about my hair right there next to me, whether they're saying something positive or negative, it makes me feel like I need to turn, give them attention and set them straight...

What I HATE ABSOLUTELY are those people who come at you with their hand raised to touch your hair and feel for tracks!!! uh uh. I don't know where that hand has been!!??

 

[supermodelsonya]

Gee maybe I should stop admiring hair because I am one of those people that may stare...but only in admiration. Because my next thought is, "I wonder if they are on the boards?"

I LOVE looking at hair. If I see a woman with long hair that's all hers, I get super excited.

 

[**SaSSy**]

The attention doesn't get to me. I remember when I was stuck in SL hell and I would stare at BW with BSL or longer hair in amazement. I don't think my hair is all that long, but I get those same looks from mostly women, and men just gloat at the amazement. This B at my job always stares at my braid-outs, or when I wear my hair straight, she knows my hair is real because you can see my scalp when I have my part, and I'm always running my fingers through it. One day I saw her from my computer screen peek over to see how long it got. So I have my own little hair fan/stalker.

 

[Almaz]

I have had long hair for most of my life and I never had problems back home and but here in the states some people are nice others are not I just KIM

 

[LadyPaniolo]

Yeah, well, I am used to folks hating on me for a multitude of reasons anyway. I get mean-mugged because "she think she cute" "Why she talk white?" "WTF she doing with that Chinese man" I even had a chickenhead go ballistic and start screaming at me and DH while we were calmly eating our food at Burger King one time. Homegirl was literally popping veins in her face screaming at me... and I hadn't even looked in her direction. SMDH. I didn't realize till the whole spot got quiet that she was yelling at ME!

So, yeah, I fully expect a whole bunch of ignorance about my hair as well. I mean, I got obnoxious treatment when my hair was raggedy, so I know it will happen when my hair is fly. If I'm out and about without my DH, I'll keep it up. Somehow I think people will be more bold and aggressive about it if I am alone.

 

[*CherryPie*]

I just smile at them. LOL!!!!

 

[BlkOnyx488]

awww I would have stared at your bush

When I was recently APL I didn't get stares, probably because my hair was a bush

 

[Liege4421]

I don't get any looks from black women...but I do get amazed responses from WHITE women...I guess they don't think BW can grow long hair??? IDK...the latest time it happened was in Paris, and the woman kept staring at my hair. When I told her (more than once) that it was MY hair...she responded "are you sure??"

I was like, would you like to see the hair growing from my scalp???

 

[empressri]

Yeah, well, I am used to folks hating on me for a multitude of reasons anyway. I get mean-mugged because "she think she cute" "Why she talk white?" "WTF she doing with that Chinese man" I even had a chickenhead go ballistic and start screaming at me and DH while we were calmly eating our food at Burger King one time. Homegirl was literally popping veins in her face screaming at me... and I hadn't even looked in her direction. SMDH. I didn't realize till the whole spot got quiet that she was yelling at ME!

So, yeah, I fully expect a whole bunch of ignorance about my hair as well. I mean, I got obnoxious treatment when my hair was raggedy, so I know it will happen when my hair is fly. If I'm out and about without my DH, I'll keep it up. Somehow I think people will be more bold and aggressive about it if I am alone.

and they didn't call the popo on that h*e??? GTFOOHWTBS!!!!!!!

 

[djanae]

I don't think its about length though. I think its about thickness, health, and style. I'm not going to lie. When I see women with short bobs that are really thick and fabulous looking, I wonder if its a weave.

I agree, although I do think longer lengths would be added grounds for more staring and erplexed faces of confusion lol

Just this past Christmas we were at a family gathering/dinner and one of my aunts walked over to me and my sister (we were sitting next to each other) - and DUG her hands up in our hair (I got the left hand, my sis got the right hand). I was sooo confused - then I was like "she weave checked us?!" I honestly didn't know whether to or or

the crazy part is we were both around shoulder length at the time, but she wanted to know if the thickness was "ours."

back to the initial question - I really am not upset by stares but its the touching I would be weary about.

As my hair gets longer though, I will DEF be more aware of this. My aunt caught me completely off guard (knowing her over the years, I would have never thought she would be that bold). But the next person is getting the strong arm in defense.

 

[caribeandiva]

... I even had a chickenhead go ballistic and start screaming at me and DH while we were calmly eating our food at Burger King one time. Homegirl was literally popping veins in her face screaming at me... and I hadn't even looked in her direction. SMDH. I didn't realize till the whole spot got quiet that she was yelling at ME!..

Why was she screaming at you?

 

[LadyPaniolo]

and they didn't call the popo on that h*e??? GTFOOHWTBS!!!!!!!

Well, after she did her little tantrum, she flounced out the door with thug BF following behind, giggling at her outburst. He thought it was funny. I think the staff didn't want to intervene because for one thing they are not getting paid like that, and for another she looked terrifying hollering like a nutcase.

The thing is, DH and I were completely oblivious, having our lunch and chatting happily together. The sound of a chickenhead being loud isn't something I usually feel compelled to investigate, you know. It's like a lap dog barking or a small child whining... it's what they do. *shrug*

What alerted me to the situation was the dining area was full of white contractors having lunch, and they all got silent and shook looking. So that led me to look and see what was freaking THEM out. By the time I realized she had been screaming at me, she was on her way out the door.

Had it been in a different part of town, they may have called the police on her.

ETA: I think she was screaming at me for having the audacity to date an Asian guy. Since I didn't listen to her drama, I didn't hear what she had to say. But she definitely wanted to start a fight of some sort. My hair wasn't long at that point, maybe a bit past shoulder and very thick. I think her problem was with my DH (then BF).

 

[complexsimplicity]

^^^IMO, I don't think that she was mad that you were dating an Asian man. I think she was jealous of you bc she knew she could never pull an Asian. Obviously this chick is way to ghettofied to even have one looking her way. That's why she was w/ a thug looking dude.​

 

[NikStarrr]

I don't mind it at all. lol

 

[crr0121]

I had that happen to me once when I was out to lunch with a friend, but it was with my nappy bun. A lady wanted to know where I bought it because she wanted one. I told her: "I got it from a little place you might know called MY SCALP." She looked at me like erplexed and kept it moving.



She sort of gave me this sheepish grin and said: "Oh, my bad." I just turned away with a small shake of my head after that because I'd said my piece and left it at that.

LOL!!!! I LOVE THIS! I know she wasn't expectin that. Shuts ppl up real quick!

When my hair was long (MBL in H.S.) girls stared and I didn't mind it at all. I just hated annoying COMMENTS like "is that you REAL hair?" and once I say yeah they say "ooh, you must have indian in you" or "you got that barbie doll hair" or when they state the obvious "ooh your hair is LONG." that wasn't exactly a compliment, it was a fact so "um thank you???"erplexed But the stares never bothered me. I actually kinda miss them now but I know they'll be back in a few months when I'm back to APL, my hair grows fast.

ETA: Oh and I loved when I went to get my hair done for special occasions and I took out my ponytail holder and all eyes were on me waiting to see me take tracks out or somethin,lol. The whole salon would "watch" me get my hair done from wash to set to style in dibelief. I don't know why it's so hard to believe black women can grow long hair...