you're hair is so soft...like a white girl's

pazyamor

pazyamor

New Member
So, I'm chillin' with a guy I've been "seeing" for awhile and we were sitting on his couch, watching a movie,:kissing4: whatever. And I've really been on my hair game: DC'ing, no direct heat, moisture, oils, vitamins, 1,000 litres of water a day (no, fa real)...I mean everything :clap:. And my hair is really loving it, it's all bouncy and what not. ANYWHO, we're sitting on his couch and he just starts running his finger through my hair...and let me just say, if I wasn't really digging homeboy, I would have karate chopped his hand away from my hair:boxing:, but I digress...anywho, after a few minutes of this hair rubbing, he remarks to me, very seriously, " you have really soft hair...like a white girl's"

WAIT...WHAT? :shocked:

My head jerked back and everything, and I was like, "like a white girl? What the world does that mean?"

And cool as a cucumber, he said, "you know what I mean, you have really pretty hair...like your mixed":huh:

But you know the sad part ladies? He really thought it was a compliment, and I was laughing too hard to get upset :lachen::lachen:...smh.
 
poor chile....:lachen:

so i guess having black girl hair means that it isnt pretty huh?:lachen:......i dont think he knew the power of the words he used....
 
I've gotten the so soft statement all my life. It shows his ignorance or the fact that he needs some good moisturizer. :lachen:
 
Being told I have hair "like a white girl" wouldn't flatter me because I don't think their hair is all that. A lot of them have damage from heat and color and are now wearing weaves - bad ones at that. It will take a while, but black people are slowly beginning to recognize their own hair for its inherent beauty.
 
I think this is really sad...not a compliment at all. By extension, then, black hair is "not soft," "not pretty," == not good.:nono::nono::nono:
 
don't shoot me.

i never thought of yt people's hair as soft at all. smooth yes (as in lack of texture of the strands), soft nope.
 
I know he didn't mean anything by it, so I'd take it for what he meant it to be. He probably heard women in his family use that phrase, and so uses it to describe soft touchable hair. Wouldn't it be funny if he's never even touched a white girl's hair? I know ppl who use it as an expression. Also, I have my white friends say that my hair is softer than theirs and want to use what I use...

All that to say, I don't think you should drop-kick someone who clearly has no clue they said something potentially offensive. This is an opportunity to :lachen:at them, enlighten them, and keep it moving :)

OT, but kinda relevant: A guy I was seeing a while back said that my boobs were soft like Mrs. Winner's biscuits :look:...Uhh, ok?!? I still don't know if that's a good thing :ohwell: I took it as a weird-*** comment and kept it rolling. :yawn:
 
He made that comment because he just doesn't think our hair is soft or pretty...pure ignorance but hey, it's his belief. Well I guess it's your job to enlighten him. That may be ther very reason you came into his life...you never know...
 
:lachen::lachen:I feel you on this subject! I have gotten that type of comment many times from both white and black. My hair is crazy soft. But in general I think that if black hair is taken care of it is softer than caucasian types of hair anyway.



Softresses
 
I'm pretty sure when people make that comment(mostly blacks) they obviously haven't been around bw who have soft hair like that. Everyone is ignorant at something. I'm pretty sure alot of these people just truly mean you have really nice hair. I think you should take it like that instead of reading all deep into it and just go on. Or if you have the care to actually sit there and teach them other wise, which probably wouldn't sink in anyway. Because they believe what they believe. You don't have to get all politically correct all the time it is simply not that crucial.:rolleyes:
 
You know thats so sad about this:

I'm so used to hearing comments like that from black people towards other blacks, that I don't even find it offensive anymore.:ohwell::nono:
 
there is still a huge section of the black community who believe our hair is bad hair and white folk's hair is good hair so im not so offended by that statement but we still need to educate people that our hair is not bad and white folks hair is in no way superior to ours. One day though if we ladies keep up and keep educating those who are ignorant we will stop people believing that :rolleyes:
 
Miss*Tress said:
Being told I have hair "like a white girl" wouldn't flatter me because I don't think their hair is all that. A lot of them have damage from heat and color and are now wearing weaves - bad ones at that. It will take a while, but black people are slowly beginning to recognize their own hair for its inherent beauty.
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Exactly. I hardly ever see a white woman who's hair I am soooo impressed with. To me a lot of there hair doesn't even look soft to me but a rough, tangled mess and their hairstyles leave a lot to be desired-just plain UGLY IMHO.
 
Miss*Tress said:
Being told I have hair "like a white girl" wouldn't flatter me because I don't think their hair is all that. A lot of them have damage from heat and color and are now wearing weaves - bad ones at that. It will take a while, but black people are slowly beginning to recognize their own hair for its inherent beauty.
Click to expand...

And if they were to say that about us...which I'm sure they do, I bet they would be called racist because of their comment.:look:
 
Black women everywhere are beginning to see the beauty in thier own hair. We have better products and are learning better techniques to care for our hair.

There really is no need to compare our hair to anyones to give us a great compliment. But some are still stuck in the old way of thinking, and really don't realize that what they think is a compliment is really a double edged sword.

I am sure he only meant it as a compliment, but sometime later a little discussion with him about hair would more than likely help him to understand how you feel.


Softresses
 
Before I even looked at where you were from, I was thinking, "She must be from DC..." And I was right! :grin:

You have the sassy, its whatever talk....

I love my DCians!


Wantlonghair_1988 said:
So, I'm chillin' with a guy I've been "seeing" for awhile and we were sitting on his couch, watching a movie,:kissing4: whatever. And I've really been on my hair game: DC'ing, no direct heat, moisture, oils, vitamins, 1,000 litres of water a day (no, fa real)...I mean everything :clap:. And my hair is really loving it, it's all bouncy and what not. ANYWHO, we're sitting on his couch and he just starts running his finger through my hair...and let me just say, if I wasn't really digging homeboy, I would have karate chopped his hand away from my hair:boxing:, but I digress...anywho, after a few minutes of this hair rubbing, he remarks to me, very seriously, " you have really soft hair...like a white girl's"

WAIT...WHAT? :shocked:

My head jerked back and everything, and I was like, "like a white girl? What the world does that mean?"

And cool as a cucumber, he said, "you know what I mean, you have really pretty hair...like your mixed":huh:

But you know the sad part ladies? He really thought it was a compliment, and I was laughing too hard to get upset :lachen::lachen:...smh.
Click to expand...
 
prettyfaceANB said:
Before I even looked at where you were from, I was thinking, "She must be from DC..." And I was right! :grin:

You have the sassy, its whatever talk....

I love my DCians!
Click to expand...


Oh girl, I live in DC, but I was born and raised on East Thirtythird, Oakland, CA!!! So I'm a mix of DC Sass and "L.A. face wit a Oakland Booty"!

But for real, to all the ladies, I wasn't mad at him, he has five sisters and he was raised by a single mother, and let me tell you, when I met them a few weeks ago, they all had messed up hair! They couldn't believe I don't relax my hair except four or five times a year, that I didn't "trim" (which to them means lop off one to two inches every touch up...which is ever four weeks) my hair at least once a month...it was like telling slaves they were emancipated a few years after the proclamation went through. Now, they call me and ask me about "hair stuff"...my hair-retarted self helped his younger sister put her relaxer in! His mother swears I'm mixed, and when I tell her politely, no I'm not, she just rolls her eyes and tells me not to be ashamed of who I am! So, I know that he didn't mean any harm by it, I was just taken aback...like :blush::perplexed:look::spinning::wallbash:...all at once!
 
MariposaSexyGirl said:
And if they were to say that about us...which I'm sure they do, I bet they would be called racist because of their comment.:look:
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No: ignorant or don't know anything about black people. There are tons of threads on the topic and I don't recall anyone calling the white person "racist". My apologies if that is incorrect and I have offended anyone.

My stylist actually told me how his white clients do not look after their hair, no DC, no care, it's rough, dry, etc. Since then I have been paying more attention and have noticed white people have many of the same problems with their hair as some black women. It's less obvious because the colors and textures of weaves match their hair better. One white woman I work with says her hair is too fine to grow past her shoulders as it always breaks when she lets it grow out.

Politically correct version: I maintain that white people's hair is not intrinsically better than black people's hair so the comparison in the OP is not necessarily flattering.
 
Miss*Tress said:
No: ignorant or don't know anything about black people. There are tons of threads on the topic and I don't recall anyone calling the white person "racist". My apologies if that is incorrect and I have offended anyone.

My stylist actually told me how his white clients do not look after their hair, no DC, no care, it's rough, dry, etc. Since then I have been paying more attention and have noticed white people have many of the same problems with their hair as some black women. It's less obvious because the colors and textures of weaves match their hair better. One white woman I work with says her hair is too fine to grow past her shoulders as it always breaks when she lets it grow out.

Politically correct version: I maintain that white people's hair is not intrinsically better than black people's hair so the comparison in the OP is not necessarily flattering.
Click to expand...

Come on now, you know anything WHITE = good, and that's what we are all aspiring for:yep::rolleyes:
 
People are saying that black women are learning how to take care of their hair, but that is really not the case for the majority! Most black women I know have dry, brittle, damaged, short, see-through hair! Still using curling irons everyday and not wrapping their hair at nite... I only know of a few exceptions. So I definitely think the OP's SO was trying to give a complement. I definitely wouldn't call him ignorant for it since most black women don't take care of our hair and the only women that most men see that do take care of their hair are white women.
 
gabulldawg said:
People are saying that black women are learning how to take care of their hair, but that is really not the case for the majority! Most black women I know have dry, brittle, damaged, short, see-through hair! Still using curling irons everyday and not wrapping their hair at nite... I only know of a few exceptions. So I definitely think the OP's SO was trying to give a complement. I definitely wouldn't call him ignorant for it since most black women don't take care of our hair and the only women that most men see that do take care of their hair are white women.
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Really? Wow. The vast majority of women that I know and see just out in public here in ATL have beautiful hair whether it is natural, relaxed, weaved, etc. When I say beautiful I mean healthy looking, thick, glossy. I see several examples just when I go to the gas station! I guess it has a lot to do with where you live as well.
 
ShiShiPooPoo said:
Really? Wow. The vast majority of women that I know and see just out in public here in ATL have beautiful hair whether it is natural, relaxed, weaved, etc. When I say beautiful I mean healthy looking, thick, glossy. I see several examples just when I go to the gas station! I guess it has a lot to do with where you live as well.
Click to expand...

Yea that is true. I'm in Atlanta, too, but there is definitely variation in hair throughout the city.
 
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