you're hair is so soft...like a white girl's

[ShiShiPooPoo]

I just saw your coming from ATL as well.

 

[gabulldawg]

I just saw your coming from ATL as well.

Yep! I love Atlanta, but I think a lot of women around here wear weaves. It's trying to become the new Hollywod. While I definitely agree there are a lot of women out here who have nice hair, unfortuntely there are plenty without it.

 

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

Well majority of white women do have soft hair.
Most mixed women do have pretty hair.

Did he state that skrait AA hair was bad and not pretty?

 

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

I always get the "hair like a white girls" line.I guess that would be a good thing then.

After my press, the girls on my job said that just by seeing my hair from behind and not my skin, they thought I was white. I didn't get offended, but I didn't get joy out the statement either.

 

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

I'm pretty sure when people make that comment(mostly blacks) they obviously haven't been around bw who have soft hair like that. Everyone is ignorant at something. I'm pretty sure alot of these people just truly mean you have really nice hair. I think you should take it like that instead of reading all deep into it and just go on. Or if you have the care to actually sit there and teach them other wise, which probably wouldn't sink in anyway. Because they believe what they believe. You don't have to get all politically correct all the time it is simply not that crucial.

That's how I feel. Now it would've been a different thing if he started saying negative things about AA while praising mixed and white hair.

 

[ShiShiPooPoo]

Yep! I love Atlanta, but I think a lot of women around here wear weaves. It's trying to become the new Hollywod. While I definitely agree there are a lot of women out here who have nice hair, unfortuntely there are plenty without it.

I know, right?

I'm originally from the midwest and well, this was the first place I ever been too where I felt pressure to get dressed to go to the mall. I just saw a woman at the park (a real park where kids play on monkey bars and stuff) with patent leather red 6 inch heels on but I digress...

 

[ShiShiPooPoo]

I guess it really does just boil down to plain 'ol ignorance.

What if she had said something like, "Your eyes are so gentle...like a white man's." That wouldn't have gone over so well.

I would probably let it slide this time but if he said something like that again like "Your smile is so bright...like a white woman."

You know men can just speak without thinking sometimes.

 

[gabulldawg]

I know, right?

I'm originally from the midwest and well, this was the first place I ever been too where I felt pressure to get dressed to go to the mall. I just saw a woman at the park (a real park where kids play on monkey bars and stuff) with patent leather red 6 inch heels on but I digress...

LOL! Yes girl! I try not to let it rub off on me, but sometimes it does...

 

[Ms_Delikate]

I know, right?

I'm originally from the midwest and well, this was the first place I ever been too where I felt pressure to get dressed to go to the mall. I just saw a woman at the park (a real park where kids play on monkey bars and stuff) with patent leather red 6 inch heels on but I digress...

^^^^Not trying to hijack or anything but I feel you on that...I lived in the midwest for about 6 years while working on my degree and then moved to Atlanta...they really do love getting dressed up here...but I love it

 

[meaganita]

 

[zora]

He made that comment because he just doesn't think our hair is soft or pretty...pure ignorance but hey, it's his belief. Well I guess it's your job to enlighten him. That may be ther very reason you came into his life...you never know...

I was going to say something more militant about the OP's post, but I like your diplomatic answer.

I think we need to create a new folder for comments people are indignant about but yet secretly pleased....OOPS. I promised myself I wasn't going to comment. Oh Well.

 

[cheeks87]

And if they were to say that about us...which I'm sure they do, I bet they would be called racist because of their comment.

The comment before yours I considered pretty racist. Basically, on this board it's ok to say white people are weird, crazy, have nasty hair but best believe if a white woman touched a member's hair and said it was "rough" we'd all be calling her racist.

Is it not true that black hair tends to be coarse? Am I missing something?

 

[SerenavanderWoodsen]

well heres my take on that,, AA hair is NOT bouncy, swingy or straight by nature,,and if its straight and silky then i guess that means ur emulating a white girl or asian of course and really if someone says ur hair feels like a white girl when its straight and silky then theyre right i suppose,, nothing wrong with that... lol ive never recieved that comment but im assuming thats because I am never seen as a "black girl" due to me being biracial,Ive recieved the opposite though, the "you have n word hair",,,, I always get stuff like latino, greek,italian, egyptian, indian etc, but I had a hairdresser once tell me not realizing I was biracial ( she was biracial also unbeknownst to me) when i expressed apprehension at her doing my hair , she said to me " dont worry I know how to do caucasian hair" my hair being straightened of course but I was thinking Girl you have no idea LOL LOL,,once it was washed of course it was obvious i had super frizzy curly rather than silky straight caucasian style hair and she tells me that I look Greek after i tell her im biracial, and goes on to tell me that she is biracial also and shows me a little curl underneath a bob weave and says " see i have hair like you too",, it was crazy anyway,, my point is I dobt think anyone should take offense to "you have hair like a white girl" becuz the fact is that is what we are emulating by straightening it out......

 

[pazyamor]

well heres my take on that,, AA hair is NOT bouncy, swingy or straight by nature,,and if its straight and silky then i guess that means ur emulating a white girl or asian of course and really if someone says ur hair feels like a white girl when its straight and silky then theyre right i suppose,, nothing wrong with that... lol ive never recieved that comment but im assuming thats because I am never seen as a "black girl" due to me being biracial,Ive recieved the opposite though, the "you have n word hair",,,, I always get stuff like latino, greek,italian, egyptian, indian etc, but I had a hairdresser once tell me not realizing I was biracial ( she was biracial also unbeknownst to me) when i expressed apprehension at her doing my hair , she said to me " dont worry I know how to do caucasian hair" my hair being straightened of course but I was thinking Girl you have no idea LOL LOL,,once it was washed of course it was obvious i had super frizzy curly rather than silky straight caucasian style hair and she tells me that I look Greek after i tell her im biracial, and goes on to tell me that she is biracial also and shows me a little curl underneath a bob weave and says " see i have hair like you too",, it was crazy anyway,, my point is I dobt think anyone should take offense to "you have hair like a white girl" becuz the fact is that is what we are emulating by straightening it out......

I don't think I'm emulating the "white girl" look, seeing as more than some 80% of caucasian said in 2006 that they actually have very wavy or "crinkly" hair that they have to blow-dry or straighten to achieve this supposed "white girl" hair we all know and love. And I hae to disagree that AA hair isn't naturally curly, bouncy, whatever. We have the prettiest, tight little bouncy ringlets, as many natural ladies on this site can attest to. I have never seen a white or mixed women with the kind of hair we have; it's either crazy frizzy or crazy limp...excuse my frankness, but I would take my ever-changing mass of (now-healthy) wonderfullness over that any day.

 

[Softresses]

The comment before yours I considered pretty racist. Basically, on this board it's ok to say white people are weird, crazy, have nasty hair but best believe if a white woman touched a member's hair and said it was "rough" we'd all be calling her racist.

Is it not true that black hair tends to be coarse? Am I missing something?

Not true.

 

[Softresses]

I don't think I'm emulating the "white girl" look, seeing as more than some 80% of caucasian said in 2006 that they actually have very wavy or "crinkly" hair that they have to blow-dry or straighten to achieve this supposed "white girl" hair we all know and love. And I hae to disagree that AA hair isn't naturally curly, bouncy, whatever. We have the prettiest, tight little bouncy ringlets, as many natural ladies on this site can attest to. I have never seen a white or mixed women with the kind of hair we have; it's either crazy frizzy or crazy limp...excuse my frankness, but I would take my ever-changing mass of (now-healthy) wonderfullness over that any day.

With any type of hair and any color skin this would largely depend upon hair care, and products.

I don't think that it is necessary to think one thing is ugly or unattractive simply because we view our own preference as beautiful.

I have seen every variety of curl and bounce in both white and black, however, I have not personally seen any Asians with bouncy, corkscrew curls.


Softresses

 

[Evazhair]

So, I'm chillin' with a guy I've been "seeing" for awhile and we were sitting on his couch, watching a movie, whatever. And I've really been on my hair game: DC'ing, no direct heat, moisture, oils, vitamins, 1,000 litres of water a day (no, fa real)...I mean everything . And my hair is really loving it, it's all bouncy and what not. ANYWHO, we're sitting on his couch and he just starts running his finger through my hair...and let me just say, if I wasn't really digging homeboy, I would have karate chopped his hand away from my hair, but I digress...anywho, after a few minutes of this hair rubbing, he remarks to me, very seriously, " you have really soft hair...like a white girl's"

WAIT...WHAT?

My head jerked back and everything, and I was like, "like a white girl? What the world does that mean?"

And cool as a cucumber, he said, "you know what I mean, you have really pretty hair...like your mixed"

But you know the sad part ladies? He really thought it was a compliment, and I was laughing too hard to get upset ...smh.

Yeah in DC "It's Whateva!"

Silly boy was letting you know he was diggin' you. He didn't know better, but I'm sure he does now. Think of the countless women who would have went goo goo gah gah over that. You just have to let him see where your head is. . I bet he gets it now. I would have cutely& flirtatiously corrected him.
OT: I love the Bay Area! I would move there, but I'm scared of earthquakes!!!

 

[pazyamor]

Yeah in DC "It's Whateva!"

Silly boy was letting you know he was diggin' you. He didn't know better, but I'm sure he does now. Think of the countless women who would have went goo goo gah gah over that. You just have to let him see where your head is. . I bet he gets it now. I would have cutely& flirtatiously corrected him.
OT: I love the Bay Area! I would move there, but I'm scared of earthquakes!!!

Girl, in the Bay earthquakes are your last problem...just try not to get jacked first, and then we'll worry about the earthquakes after that! But I know he's digging me and he didn't mean it in a harmful way. I just get frustrated sometimes with men, and he definetly dated a white girl before me, and me and her have some friction...so that may have contributed to my negative reaction. I had to curse her out real Oakland style last weekend when she tried to act big in front of a club!

 

[PAPRIKA]

Being told I have hair "like a white girl" wouldn't flatter me because I don't think their hair is all that. A lot of them have damage from heat and color and are now wearing weaves - bad ones at that. It will take a while, but black people are slowly beginning to recognize their own hair for its inherent beauty.

There is a white girl that I work with whose hair is dry as sandpaper ends are chewwed from constant dyeing and heat appliances. I tried to ecommend some thinds to her but she just says it would probably weigh her hair down. She reminds me of Lindsay from Real Orange County Housewives (a reality tv show on Bravo for those who aren't familiar.)

This can be a spinoff topic!

 

[Gisselle]

The comment before yours I considered pretty racist. Basically, on this board it's ok to say white people are weird, crazy, have nasty hair but best believe if a white woman touched a member's hair and said it was "rough" we'd all be calling her racist.

Is it not true that black hair tends to be coarse? Am I missing something?

Not true at all!

 

[Dove56]

I always get the "hair like a white girls" line.I guess that would be a good thing then.

I've actually had white women touch my (one day my reflex is going to kick in and I'm going to pop one of em..lol) hair and say surprisingly your hair is so SOFT you, you are lucky your hair is not coarse.

First of all, no disrespect to anyone, BUT white people do NOT have pretty hair to me. I still feel that black women with healthy well conditioned hair have the most beautiful hair. Second, my hair is not fine or coarse my strands are medium. Third, I'm going to really start, *NICELY* breaking ignorant people off!

 

[AfroKink]

The comment before yours I considered pretty racist. Basically, on this board it's ok to say white people are weird, crazy, have nasty hair but best believe if a white woman touched a member's hair and said it was "rough" we'd all be calling her racist.

Is it not true that black hair tends to be coarse? Am I missing something?

Black people's hair tends to be fine. Asian people's hair tends to be coarse. (On average). Coarseness has to do with diameter of the strand. Asian people have thick(coarse) hair strands. That is why it's hard to curl it with
a curling iron; the strands are quite thick.

If someone said my hair is soft like a white girl's, I would correct him/her and say "no, mine is softer"... because it is.

Lys​

 

[MissMarie]

don't shoot me.

i never thought of yt people's hair as soft at all. smooth yes (as in lack of texture of the strands), soft nope.

same here
I've always had white folks comment about the softness of my hair but I've never felt that about any of their heads of hair I've touched, especially those with the naturally straight-straight hair. Even moreso with some Asians whose straight strands are so thick and coarse you can literally see and feel each separate strand.
Bouncy, silky, flowy... yes
soft...not so much

When I hear soft I think of hair thats more a spongy or cottony type, that you want to rub your fingers in (or face ), medium to fine strands, even chemically treated hair (for folks with healthy hair) still has that spongy bounciness when you squish it in your fingers.
Most of us don't have super coarse strands, which I think helps with the soft feeling. The old stereotype that our hair is rough is total bs unless you're doing some funky, unhealthy stuff to your hair and scalp.

Different textures just have different positive qualities. To me silky and soft are different feels.

 

[SerenavanderWoodsen]

Black people's hair tends to be fine. Asian people's hair tends to be coarse. (On average). Coarseness has to do with diameter of the strand. Asian people have thick(coarse) hair strands. That is why it's hard to curl it with
a curling iron; the strands are quite thick.

If someone said my hair is soft like a white girl's, I would correct him/her and say "no, mine is softer"... because it is.

Lys​

I agree with that,, ive always thought my hair was softer esp when straight then white or asian hair but i really think what is meant when someone says your hair is soft like a white girl is that it feels silky and that feeling is only gonna happen with straightened AA hair or even straightened curly hair for the most part,, Asian and Caucasian hair is silky and has a moistness to it ( provided it isnt very ) damaged and very rarely does it have a rough texture of any sort, coarse or not....

 

[EbonyF]

Black people's hair tends to be fine. Asian people's hair tends to be coarse. (On average). Coarseness has to do with diameter of the strand. Asian people have thick(coarse) hair strands. That is why it's hard to curl it with
a curling iron; the strands are quite thick.

If someone said my hair is soft like a white girl's, I would correct him/her and say "no, mine is softer"... because it is.

Lys​

Thank you for breaking this down. I really dislike when I see folks interchanging coarse with "difficult to manage."

 

[PinkPeony]

I feel you on this subject! I have gotten that type of comment many times from both white and black. My hair is crazy soft. But in general I think that if black hair is taken care of it is softer than caucasian types of hair anyway.



Softresses

I agree.

 

[MariposaSexyGirl]

I've actually had white women touch my (one day my reflex is going to kick in and I'm going to pop one of em..lol) hair and say surprisingly your hair is so SOFT you, you are lucky your hair is not coarse.

First of all, no disrespect to anyone, BUT white people do NOT have pretty hair to me. I still feel that black women with healthy well conditioned hair have the most beautiful hair. Second, my hair is not fine or coarse my strands are medium. Third, I'm going to really start, *NICELY* breaking ignorant people off!

No need to try to call me ignorant on the sly. If in fact thats what you were doing. I was simply explaining to her that he meant her hair felt good. It is a good thing that he thought it felt good and soft to him not that it felt like a white girls. Yes it's an ignorant statement that he made. But don't read more into things than it really is. And I guess I just don't care enough about what simple people think to correct them. And trust EVERYONE is ignorant about something.

 

[GinaC]

I'm white, my hair isn't soft or anything, it's a frizzy mess! That's how I ended up in here, trying to get nice, long hair. I got my hair braided, relaxed, flat ironed. The only thing that makes my hair look good is black hairstyles!! haha!!!

Gina

 

[cutiebe2]

First of all, no disrespect to anyone, BUT white people do NOT have pretty hair to me. I still feel that black women with healthy well conditioned hair have the most beautiful hair. Second, my hair is not fine or coarse my strands are medium. Third, I'm going to really start, *NICELY* breaking ignorant people off!

same!!!!! I've seen to many chewed up ends to worship their hair BUT all hair is beautiful and when I do see white girls with thick beautiful hair......

 

[ChocalateDiva]

I know he didn't mean anything by it, so I'd take it for what he meant it to be. He probably heard women in his family use that phrase, and so uses it to describe soft touchable hair. Wouldn't it be funny if he's never even touched a white girl's hair? I know ppl who use it as an expression. Also, I have my white friends say that my hair is softer than theirs and want to use what I use...

All that to say, I don't think you should drop-kick someone who clearly has no clue they said something potentially offensive. This is an opportunity to at them, enlighten them, and keep it moving

OT, but kinda relevant: A guy I was seeing a while back said that my boobs were soft like Mrs. Winner's biscuits ...Uhh, ok?!? I still don't know if that's a good thing I took it as a weird-*** comment and kept it rolling.

DANG!!